A/N: There should be some special rating for silly fics.

Fox Files Part 3

The two resident youkai of Kaede's village sat on a branches of a tree. It was an odd picture - a white inu and a red kitsune both perched on two close branches, looking at the village below. One could think taking to high ground would not be unusual for canine youkai, but those two couldn't care less what strangers would think upon seeing them.

"So... Dad?" Shippou glanced at his adoptive father a bit anxiously. Inuyasha seemed to size him with his burning gaze and it was pretty unnerving. The fox was trying really hard not to spill confessions about all his pranks and tricks, along with some apologies. But he had to be strong in face of Inuyasha's gaze, he had to be strong There were too many tricks he had learned lately and really wanted to try on him.

"Your mother found your... Friend list," Inuyasha said. The tone of his voice was calm, but Shippou gulped. Inuyasha never referred to Kagome as 'his mother', unless the said female had given him grief over something that was clearly - at least to Inuyasha - Shippou's fault. And now Inuyasha was going to dish out a punishment. Or worse - a lecture. 'Inari-sama,' the kitsune prayed silently, his tail fluffing out. 'Let him hit me on the head, please, let him h- Oh, shit.'

"She... She found it...?" he whispered, realizing what it meant. He shrieked. "Oi! Why did she go through my stuff?!"

"Because it looked like your room was the back end of Miroku's kazaana, dumbass," Inuyasha growled at his indignant squeak. The silence lingered like a drop of honey on a spoon. "So? Is there anything you want to tell your old man?"

"What?" Shippou barked, "I have many friends and I don't want to mess stuff up by mixing or forgetting something."

"Listen, son," Inuyasha sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "All's great, you're allowed to have many girl friends. But tell me, how are you going to explain why you need to keep notes which ones you kissed and promised to go on a date?"

Shippou glared at the hanyou, who just looked at him. The teen stuffed his hands in his sleeves and looked away. "Keh!"

"Don't keh me, young man!" Inuyasha made a good impression of his mate. "Let's play an oracle game," he added suddenly, gaining Shippou's attention again. "If you continue to live like this I see two things in your future."

"What things?" asked the curious kitsune.

"First - you'll get a necklace just like my beads. Second - you'll end up like Miroku and will have a bad reputation when you find a girl you actually want to mate, so she won't trust you," Inuyasha warned. Shippou shuddered.

""Women are like food," Inuyasha continued after a minute. Shippou blinked at him. Inuyasha nodded. "Yeah, just like food. Different kind of food. You are looking around for the one you can spend your life eating and never tire of it. But if you spoil other foods or break their hearts along the way no one will want them. Like when you throw grass in a stew or something. And the food will go through its life unwanted because you were a dick."

It took the kitsune a moment to solve this part of Inuyasha's lecture. Meanwhile they could hear Kagome calling from the direction of their home.

"Inuyasha! Ramen's ready!"

"Ha!" the hanyou perked up. "Ramen calls."

Shippou looked after his adoptive father who wasted no time in racing to the love of his life and his double-size bowl of noodles.