Thanks for the reviews, I think you know by now how much I like receiving them and appreciate them. This chapter proved to be a little difficult, just ask my beta Jess. But I think (hope) we worked out the kinks in it and that it makes sense.

Please review and let me know if you like this chapter or if you hate it, it would really help in writing the next chapter, which is actually a bit harder for me to write than this one has been.

Thanks Jess for all your thoughts and ramblings and the suggestions that made this chapter work. You're the best.

Well, what are y'all waiting for? Go read chapter five… Go on, it's ok. I've said my piece.

Chapter five

Haunted

Sara woke up five hours later when the phone started ringing. At first she was confused since no one ever called her on her home phone, but as it kept ringing she leapt up from the couch to answer it.

"Sara."

The line was quiet a little while before a low voice answered her.

"Hey."

"Ronnie?"

"I hate it when people call me that." She didn't sound mad though.

"Sorry."

"No. It's ok." Veronica sighed on the other end. "Somehow it sounds ok when you say it."

"How did you get my number?" Sara asked, wondering why her friend had called her so soon.

"I know people who know people." There was a pause. "Did I interrupt something? Oh God Sass, I'm sorry. I'll just…"

"No! No, I was just resting." Sara reassured her. "So, what's up? Miss me already?" She smiled into the receiver.

"No… I mean yeah… I mean…" She sighed again. "I just didn't expect this. Meeting you like that. I never saw it coming."

"I know what you mean." Sara said. "I couldn't believe my ears when I heard you."

"Sara." Veronica started.

Sara knew that things were a little off with her friend whenever she called her by her real name. She would do it sometimes when they were with other people, but almost never when they were alone.

"Yes?"

"Please don't take what I am about to say the wrong way?"

"Ok."

"I hated seeing you again. That's why I didn't come and say hi right away." She sounded as if she was close to tears.

"Ok." Sara thought about it for a second before continuing. "I understand. I know how you must have felt when I left like I did…"

"No. That's not the reason." For a while all that was heard on the line was breathing. "I love you, Sara. And I don't blame you for leaving; I would never blame you for anything. It's just…seeing you brought back memories…memories I don't want to think about. But it seems that I can't think about anything else today."

"I know." Sara went to the kitchen and started the coffeemaker while talking. "I've been doing some remembering of my own."

"I'll never be able to forgive myself for what happened to you." Veronica's voice was barely above a whisper.

"Honey…"

"I knew what you'd been through in the past. I should have done something to prevent it. I should have protected you."

"Ronnie." Sara put as much emotion in her voice as possible. "You were in the hospital. You had just woken up from a coma. There was nothing you could have done."

"I told you that I wouldn't let anyone hurt you again…"

"Veronica, stop." Sara's voice was gentle but firm. "We can't have this conversation on the phone. And you can't keep blaming yourself. He hurt you much worse than he hurt me, and he's in jail now. He can't hurt either of us anymore." Sara poured a cup of coffee; she needed something to ground her. "I'm ok, Veronica. I'm ok."

"Are you?" Veronica's voice was so soft that Sara had barely heard her.

"What?"

"Are you ok?"

"We can't have this conversation now, Foxy."

Sara was not ready for this conversation. She wasn't sure she'd ever be. Foxy had always been able to see right through her, and the part of Sara that for more than ten years had craved absolute privacy couldn't bear the thought of having to let the other woman inside her walls again.

"And that just answered my question." There was a pause again. "I'm sorry Sass. I shouldn't have called."

"Don't be sorry. I hate it when you're sorry." Sara smiled slightly.

"We have to talk though." Veronica said, her voice getting stronger.

"I know." Sara sighed. "I know…but I can't tonight, I have work."

"Me too."

"Tomorrow?" Sara didn't really want to have the conversation, but she did want to see her friend again.

"I'm starting a 24 hour shift in a couple of hours." She chuckled slightly on the other end. "That's work for ya, always getting in the way."

"Yeah." Sara said unconvincingly.

"Ok, so you probably live, eat, sleep and breathe work. But this time it's in the way, Hon." Even if they hadn't seen each other in over ten years Veronica had seen right through Sara. "Oh, Julie's crying, Sass. I gotta go see what's wrong. We'll talk later. Find a time, ok?"

"Yes. I have to get to work anyway. I'll call you. Go check on Julie."

"Thanks. Bye."

"Bye."

Sara hung up with a sigh. She had hoped that she'd left that part of her life behind. She never wanted to hurt like that again, never wanted to have someone being that close to her again. She lived her life just fine without the distraction of having to care deeply for another person. Not for another person who knew that she cared anyway. She cared for all the people on the graveyard shift, but it was just better for her to keep her distance – that way no one would have the chance to hurt her.

Catherine was the only exception. Somehow she had gotten under Sara's skin without her even noticing it. She had been too open this morning in the car. She had unintentionally let her in on parts of her past, let one of her many walls fall down. It felt good at the time, but having taken the time to think about it, she realized that it was a bad decision. She had just given her more ammunition to hurt her with.

Maybe breakfast wasn't such a good idea after all.

"You're early, Sidle." Catherine said entering the break room. After getting a cup of coffee, she sat down next to Sara. "Earth to Sara." When Sara still didn't answer, she waved a hand in front of the other woman's face.

Sara had been lost in thoughts about the phone call earlier, and she hadn't seen Catherine entering the room. 'I don't need this in my life. I've lived over ten years without her, I can live another ten years not having her in my life. I have a good life… I have my work and… and I love it. It makes me feel good…'

Sara was startled when the hand came in front of her face. She stared at it a bit before looking confused at the owner of said hand.

"Catherine?"

"Sara."

Sara looked around the room, trying to find out if she had missed anyone else come in.

"When did you get here?" She asked the blonde.

"Eh… Five minutes ago." Catherine looked closer at the brunette, and noticed the slightly haunted look in her eyes. "Are you ok, Sara?"

"Yeah…" Sara looked at Catherine seeing the concern in the other woman's eyes. "I didn't get that much sleep."

"Ok." Catherine didn't really buy that explanation, but she let her get away with it for the time being.

"Hi guys." Nick entered the room heading for the coffee. "Anything interesting on tonight?"

Sara couldn't deal with having a normal conversation, so she let Catherine deal with Nick. 'Why is this happening now? I have enough to deal with. I have to fight this… thing… with Catherine.'

"I don't know, Nick. I just got here myself. I haven't had the time to talk to Grissom." Catherine smiled at the Texan. "I needed my coffee first."

'And how dare Foxy say I'm not ok? What does she know anyway, she sure as hell doesn't know anything about what my life is like now! Sure she does, Sidle. She hit the nail right on the head.' The little voice of her conscience would not be drowned out by her rage. 'You love Foxy, let her help you, let her inside again. SHUT UP!' Sara concentrated on the people in the room, she needed to focus on something other than her thoughts.

"Did I hear someone mention coffee? Please tell me it's the good stuff. I could really use a cup!" Warrick was standing in the door to the break room looking tired.

"It's ok. Not the best I've ever had." Catherine answered him.

Sara glanced at the other woman slightly before returning her gaze to the table in front of her. 'I could be the best you've ever had. No, stop it Sara. Distance, remember? You have got to keep your distance from her!' She was saved from going further into that line of thinking as Grissom came in the door. She really needed to get her thoughts in check.

"Assignments people." He said and got their attention. "Nick, Warrick, you have a missing person." He handed them a slip of paper and they headed out.

"Catherine, Sara…"

Sara's head snapped up. She was working with Catherine. How was she going to get through an entire night working side by side with her? How was she going to keep her distance?

"… You have a DB in the desert." He handed Catherine another slip of paper and the blonde got to her feet. Looking down at Sara she asked:

"Are you coming?"

'Coming? Twice in one day? You've got to be kidding me! Forget about the distancing, how am I going to keep my mind out of the gutter? I don't need this now.'

"What about Greg?" Sara asked the supervisor.

"He's with me tonight." Grissom smiled. "We have bugs."

Greg, who had just come in the door, frowned upon hearing this. Sara shrugged her shoulders at him, there was nothing she could do to help him on that one.

"We should get going, Sara." Catherine threw over her shoulder as she went for the door. Something was up with the lanky brunette, but Catherine was determined not to start a fight with her. She had enjoyed this morning without fighting, and she had liked that Sara had opened up to her a little. She didn't want to let a silly mood swing ruin the truce they had going.

Sara got up from her chair and followed her goddess out the door. For the first time since she could remember, she wished her shift would end soon.