Kenneth stepped up her and squeezed her much too tightly. "Paige, me darling. We shall be verra happy together."
"Nae, it canna be. I will nae be yur wife! Change me back! And do be quick about it," yelled Paige pushing him away from her. She rolled her eyes at the weird syntax she was using. If it hadn't been forced on her she would have called it quaint.
"Kenneth. This not be right! Ye make her back to herself!" cried Shamus as Paige nodded in agreement since her voice had lost any sound of authority.
"No, me darlin' Ye be my wife now! And what a fine bounteous beauty ye be. A porcelain doll among the corn sheaves. A rose among the thorns. Our love will last for an eternity as it be with us," exclaimed a very amorous leprechaun.
"Forever?" squeaked Paige.
Kenneth nodded. "Aye, me darling Paige. Ye shall live and be loved long after yer world be gone. Love shall bless us as will our plentiful offspring," he cooed taking her hands and looking deep into her brown eyes.
"No, no, no! I be not another creature. A vampire with an appetite for the liquid of life was enough. Yeech! I have another life. I already be a wife and a witch and a whitelighter. Change me back ye little vermin!" she cried pulling back her hands.
Kenneth shook his head. "Nae, Paige, daughter of light and beauty. Ye be a leprechaun now. A soul of the golden life and a distributor of the grandest gift of all. The luck of the Irish!" he said in very grand terms.
"That be the work of the male component of our society. The females be the harbingers of the home and family," Shamus reminded him while looking sorrowfully at Paige.
Paige put her hands on her waist looking most disgruntled. "That is just monumental! Thou has repealed the liberation of female's legal rights and sentenced meself to morals that left with "I Love Lucy!" Please me friend, Shamus. Can ye help me? My world is out there and me job has many poor souls to help. And it would please me to speak again as they do in the year of our Lord 2006." Paige stood squirming as Kenneth nuzzled up behind her.
"Tis the magic of me brother Kenneth. I canna change it," sighed Shamus. "Me heart goes out to you."
"Then I take my leave and be gone from ye all," said a defiant Paige who cringed at her voice. "Me sisters will do me better!" She grunted and tried to orb, but she stayed within the clutches of the lovesick leprechaun. "Oh, damnation to it all."
He whispered to her. "Ye be a leprachaun now. The powers of ye other life have left ye entirely. And by the laws of me world, I claim ye as me wife. And by the great grave where lies Saint Patrick himself, I will nae recant me claim. Since ye took over for me first love Prue, I know ye be destined to be with me always. Me wonderful darling loving Paige."
Held tightly by the lovesick leprechaun Paige just looked up to the roof of the cavern hoping and praying for a speedy rescue.