"Ye stay away from me, ye Irish Casanova!" yelled Paige in a wee voice that could shatter glass. "I wish to journey to me home sod!" She ran about the small cottage as fast as her wee feet would carry her since orbing was out of he question.
Kenneth huffed and puffed after having chased his wife for five days. "Of course, me darling. We can travel on the rainbow if ye like. I agree. But with our children, we should all take the journey together!" he cried running around and around the large table in the kitchen.
"Nay and not. Me own husband's children will I bear. And witches too they will be!" she said nodding and taking a place in the corner beside the huge stone hearth.
Kenneth put up his hands. "Ye not be of that species anymore. Ye be my dutiful wife now. Settle down, me darling. And tend to ye husband!" he said leaning on the ancient table.
Paige picked up the meat cleaver and started waving it in the air. "I not be trapped inna this life! My place be with others, ye Irish twit!"
"I assume ye not starting me evening meal like a wife should for her husband!" he said stamping his wee foot on the dirt floor.
Paige swung the sharp-edged object down onto the table embedding it in the table much farther than Kenneth thought possible. "Wife? Ye mean victim. Ye shanghaied me, ye little green wart! Me life be elsewhere!"
Kenneth place his hands on his chest. "But me heart loves ye so. And I wish to take care of you," he pleaded.
"Nay! YE wishes me to take care of YE! Which I will not. Me real husband is my world. Not here. Change me back or I'll.. I'll.." she cried pulling the cleaver from the tabletop and hurling it at Kenneth who made a hasty retreat to the nearest pub.
"Oh, woe is me!" Kenneth sighed to Shamus over a large tankard of grog. "Spirit she has. More than any of the womenfolk here. And I do bring out the spark in her. That I do. She will come around eventually," he said sadly. "If meself survives the journey."
Shamus took a long sip. "My friend. Maybe too much spirit for our clan. A quiet life we have here. Consider this. Her temperament may not be her spirit, but her objections to her captivity. And if that be it, she may never come around to thee."
"Oh and be sure. I am the most amiable of fellows and a hard worker be I," Kenneth said with confidence. "A fine husband and father be I to me offspring. And the new blood we need for the sake of the clan."
Shamus rubbed his beard looking at his over confident friend. "Methinks that modern women, witch or leprechaun, find happiness in more that a new copper pot or the patter of tiny feet in the kitchen."
"No! Time. She must have time. I will prevail in her heart," he replied.
The ancient wooden door of the pub creaked open as another leprechaun ran in. "Shamus. Another outsider just appeared. Two of them in the town square! Come quick!"
With one final sip, Shamus slammed down the tankard and wiped his face. "I guess I must be on me way. Another disturbance. What in St. Patrick's britches is the matter now?"
Standing tall in the middle of the square were Leo and Piper Wyatt. Piper looked down quite confident at the undersized town below her.
Piper called out as her voice echoed in the cavern. "Matthews! Paige Matthews! Does anyone know where she is?" She turned to Leo and said quietly, "First, we travel to Oz over the rainbow and now I feel like Alice in Wonderland. This better work fast."
Shamus walked up to the tall witch. "Piper? Is that you? It has been too long," he said hesitantly.
Piper grinned slightly. "There is a gentleman who remembers a lady's name. Shamus, isn't it?"
"Aye. And how is me darlin' Phoebe?" he asked walking right up to Piper.
"Almost married," Piper quickly replied.
"Ah, then I must send some luck for her matrimonial bliss," he said while finger some gold coins in his pocket.
"Wedding presents can be sent in care of Halliwell Manor. But for now tell me what is going on here? Have ye or rather you seen my sister, Paige Matthews?"
"Well. If me memories serves me..." Shamus said as Kenneth stepped up behind him.
"Shamus!" Called out Piper. "I want it straight and I want it now!"
Shamus quickly replied, "She was here quite a while ago."
"I have had enough of this!" screamed Piper as she froze the entire cavern. "Sorry, Leo," she said lovingly as she unfroze him.
Leo looked around at the now silent cavern. "Wow! Very impressive. You really froze everyone!"
Piper through up her hands. "Yea, yea, yea. Since our powers are tied to our emotions look at what I can do when I'm really pissed off!"
"That you can be. Now what?" asked her hubby.
"Ah. I still may have a trick or two up my sleeve. I'm going to call for 'Paige'!" she said. And in her hand appeared her frozen "little sister." With one flick of her fingers she came back to life.
She clasped her hand in front of her. "Piper. Thank God. Methinks me were staying here always raising his little leper brats!" she said in a high squeak.
"Paige?" she said too cutely.
"Yea, yea. I know," she said now sounding a bit more like her free-spirited sister.
Piper put her hand over her mouth trying not to laugh. "Paige. I wanted to get you home in bed with your new husband. Now I may just use you as a centerpiece."
Paige put her hands on her wee little waist. "Hey! Thinketh I wanted this. Some little green man in love with your darlin' Prue did this to me!" she exclaimed.
"I seem to remember Prue stuck here once in that same costume. You are so cute, little Paige Matthews!" Piper said not able to resist herself.
Paige yelled at the top of her wee little voice, "Stoppeth that I say!"
"Piper, Paige is in a rather embarrassing situation," said Leo calmly.
Piper looked at Leo. "Like we all haven't been there. Maybe just not as cute. All right!" Piper carefully put down her sister and unfroze the entire leprechaun clan.
Kenneth looked up. "Oh no. The secret be out."
"Me apologizes, Mistress Piper," said Shamus reluctantly.
"Fine. Now whomever is responsible for this better fix it fast. You don't want to see my bad side!" she cried echoing in the cavern.
"You better do as she says. You'll find her much more powerful than the last time you encountered her," suggested Leo.
Piper nodded and then blew up a stalactite right behind her causing tiny bits of rock to spread throughout the town.
Shamus and most of the clan jumped backwards at the sound of the explosion. Shamus reached behind and pushed out Kenneth to face Piper. "Ye do what ye must, my friend. Besides we owe the Charmed Ones everything when they helped us with that demon."
Kenneth pleaded, "But Paige, me love!"
"Findeth someone else! I belong with me real husband!" exclaimed Paige.
"AND with her sisters," added Piper.
Shamus nodded. "Aye, Kenneth. Do what ye know ye must."
Kenneth hung his head. "No, I loves her too much!"
Shamus put his hand on his shoulder. "Nay. Tis Prue ye loved and she be gone."
Piper sighed and then replied, "About six years since she passed on. I miss her too, but I moved on with my life."
"NO! I canna bear it," he said with tears in his eyes.
Paige walked up to him. "I don't wanna be ye wife. Me love is for another now and forever. If ye cherish me as I him, then ye will let me go to the one I love," pleaded Paige.
Kenneth looked deeply into Paige's eyes. "Then let it be." He reached into his pocket, pulled out a trusted gold coin and held it up at Paige. She turned a pleasing shade of gold and grew slowly to her full height slightly taller than Piper.
Paige looked directly at Piper and then down at her normal clothes. "Better! And thank you! And in modern English too! Testing. One, two, three!"
She turned and embraced Piper and then got down on one knee and looked at he distraught Kenneth. "I hope do you find someone. Someone who will make you a good housewife. That is just not my thing!"
"So you almost had another wedding?" asked Piper cutely.
"I think Henry would have objected. I've had enough of the magical creatures. Back to the mortal part of my life! And there's Phoebe's wedding I'm supposed to be in! Bye all!" waved a much relieved Paige who vanished in a shower of white orbs.
Piper looked over the leprechauns. "Next time you have a problem call us. But only then. Remember the Charmed Ones are back in business! Leo?" Piper asked titled her head to one side and taking her husband's arm.
With an equal smile Leo orbed out of the cavern and they headed back to Halliwell Manor.