A/N: Gift for all my amazing faithful followers and reviewers who stick to me despite the crazy stuff I write. I not always reply to your comments, but I appreciate them greatly.

Hanyou's New Groove

Naraku appeared in front of the gathering of his foes, laughing wickedly. He spread his hands and other limbs in a threatening manner.

"It is I, Naraku!" he exclaimed. "Look at me and fear my terrifying power!"

He had a whole speech prepared, but to his shock no one was listening to him. He gaped at the group of misfits.

"I liked when he had tentacles," Miroku said. "I'm sure they were fun to play with. I'd like to have tentacles."

"I'm sure you had something perverted in mind," Sango glared at him, then glanced at Naraku, standing on his stone and glaring at them all. "White horns? Really, who has white horns after the Osaka Incident?"

"I think they look okay against the color of his hair," Kagome said. "But they have nothing on Inuyasha's ears."

"A scaled armor? This one is shocked that he has to kill such poorly equipped foe," Sesshomaru sneered.

"Yeah, it's a fashion suicide," Inuyasha nodded. "I've not seen those in decades."

"I liked more when he wore purple." Shippou said. "Blue is obviously not his color.""

"And it also helps you look mysterious and dangerous to ladies," Miroku ran his hand down the front of his robe. "Add some black and you complete the visage of an intelligent, yet secretive fellow. No lady could pass you if you wore black and purple." He sent a blinding grin Sango's way, but the extermimator was too busy wrinkling her nose at Naraku's footwear - sandals and stripped socks.

"No wonder he can't get laid.." Kouga muttered from his spot to the side.

"Hey!" Naraku screamed. "Can we focus on what's important now?!"

"We already do. You look too pathetic to kill, go change your form," Inuyasha crossed his arms in front of his chest, refusing to draw Tessaiga.

"You could wear something red," Kagome suggested. "Red is so dashing, especially with white." She glanced to the side where Inuyasha stood, preening in his fire rat robe. The girl blushed.

"And you could tie your hair back," Sango added, cringing. "Right now as it hangs in those curls, it looks greasy. And the horns really need to go."

"Change your outfit," Kikyou said with a look of disgust on her face.

"I hate you with all my hate," Naraku mumbled as he slid down his rock to go and change.