KuroFai Drabbles - AlphaBeta

Warnings: A dab of yaoi, nothing too detailed but shonen-ai is definately a duh xD

Rating: K+ (absolutely nothing interesting...this one's just plain fluff)

Disclaimer: Clamp owns TRC in all its glory, I'm just a pathetic writer wanting to contribute to their beautiful creation ;;

Dear Discoveries

There was truly no word to describe the mage. Crazy would be too light. Stupid wouldn't really be truthful (despite all the times I've called him that). And cheery would only apply if you barely knew him. It's all too easy to see through that smile of his… which annoys me to no end. If I really had to find a word, I'd have to go with "Fai". Well, sure. It's not technically a word but it certainly should be. Why, you ask? …do I really have to explain? Well… if it was a word, I wouldn't have lost the bet. I wouldn't have to be subjected to the horrors of following the mage's every whim.

It's been a hell of a day and I'm sure you'd like to hear the wicked details but we must take my sanity into consideration here. So, instead, lets focus more on what's currently up the mage's sleeve. I cant read Fai's mind but god how I wish I could right now… There's this evil twinkle in his eyes and paired with that ridiculous grin of his, he looks a bit… delusional.

"Hold still," he says, inching closer. This is it… the last favor of the day… after this, I'll be a free man! I just have to endure this, despite how somewhere deep down in my guts I'm getting the feeling that this'll be one nightmare I wont forget.

Now, his nose is barely a centimeter from mine and I can feel his breath on my skin… it's sending shivers down my spine, though I'm not sure why. And as for my stomach, it's churning. His smile widens, "Kuropon, your so tense…" He raises a hand and runs it through my hair, icy fingers delicately grazing over my neck. The shivers intensify and, accidentally, I let Fai see my hand tremble. He doesn't let it show, he never lets anything show, but I know he's having a fit of evil giggling somewhere in the back of his mind.

Damn it! Damn my hand! Damn these stupid shivers! Damn him! And what the hell is on his mind, I still can't tell.

"Close your eyes and whisper my name, Kurorin," the mage chirps quietly in my ear, his hand still curled around my neck.

My eyes twitch slightly but I have no choice and I obey. It would be against the samurai's code of honor to do otherwise. "F-Fai," I whisper, hesitantly.

"That's my Kurowanwan!" the mage exclaims, "Now…" he leans even closer, falling into my chest. I cringe and my eyelids almost fly open but I remember in time and begrudgingly, keep them shut. "Wrap your arms around me," he says. I don't move. No, my mind tells me, he couldn't have said that. What the hell did he take me for? I wait.

"Wrap them around me, Kuropiko," he repeats. This time, I do as I am told for there's no mistake. He said what he had said and despite how strange it seemed, it was an order so I can do nothing but obey – obey and tremble like a nervous little puppy, which was probably the reaction he was looking for. I curse myself over and over again. Dammit!

The mage pushes into me, wraps his arms tighter around my neck, and whispers, "Let's stay like this for a while, Kurokuro…" he pauses and when he starts again, there's an ounce of sadness in his tone, "let's stay like this until the clock strikes midnight." …because then you'll be free of me. It's odd how I knew that was what he wanted to say… It is the first time I ever guessed anything about him and felt certain about my deduction. I want to open my eyes. I want to see if he is enjoying this… see if he's enjoying my increasing discomfort. But something in me says that he is not teasing. I don't want to listen. It's against my normal self to listen to such a stupid thing. …but I do. And I don't just listen… I believe. For once, the mage is not teasing me.

I feel his body's warmth flood through me and I find it surprisingly comforting. My body begins to relax and I tighten my arms, wanting him closer, wanting to feel more of his warmth. He lets out a surprised gasp and I grunt in embarrassment, yet my hold does not loosen.

"So, this is what you had in mind for your last request?" I sigh, in faked irritation. The mage takes a deep breath and there is a moment of silence. Then, to my surprise, he lets go of my neck and slips out of my hold. Was it midnight already. Indeed it was… I had a faint remembrance of a far off clanging.

I open my eyes. I can't help myself. For the second time, I have read the mage's mind, finding his sad eyes to be exactly what I had expected. I realize that I've caught him off guard and his face, finally free of its plastic smile, was doleful with hints of regret.

"Fai," I say softly… This is the first time I've said his name off my own accord.

He is brought back by my voice and he quickly hides behind his smile, not wanting to show me any more. But I have already seen him…the true him. And now, I seem to be able to understand.

"Yes?" he asks, his tone veiled in all too many lies.

I get up and gather him in my arms. It is so unlike me. The great Kurogane should not be like this… yet I cant help myself. It is unbearable. Seeing Fai like this is unbearable. He won't tell me the truth. He never does. He hopes to never show me it either. And yet, he wants me to bring him out of his loneliness. I see it now. I understand.

He squirms slightly in my arms and tries to push me away. He knows that he has shown me his weakness and he does not want to be weak. "Don't move," I say. …slowly, he stops. I lean forward and whisper in his ear, "Close your eyes."

"Kurop-" but he breaks off for I've stolen his lips. Now it is me pushing into him and he gives way, finally showing me his truths. I move my mouth and he moves with me. My tongue finds his and I dive into him. I want his all. I realize that he is not the only one showing his truths.

I break off for a breath and I see that his eyes are closed, tears streaming down his cheeks in endless rivulets. "Fai," I whisper. He doesn't stop. He cannot stop. The lies have built up and like a tower of sticks at its limit, they are falling, breaking. He buries himself in my chest and sobs. My arms willingly supply him with a new wall of defense, now that his old one has crumbled.

"Let's stay like this…" I say, lowering my head to drop a kiss on his slender neck "…forever."

…because that's how long I'll love you.

A/N: Oh gawd! Digs a hole and hides... I know, I suck! First of all, I've been procrastinating for-like-EVER and I'm sooooo sorry! uu plz accept my humblest apologies xDD heehee anyhoo, about this chappie... Like all my other's, there's no real point and my style is NEVER constant...ugh! WHYYYYYY? -cough- ahem... I'm ok. But seriously, it's so messed up. I start out wanting to write some crack and then I switch over to attempting (take note of the word "attempting") seduction, on Fai's part, and finally, I end with pure fluff... kinda sounds like my last chapter, now that I think about it... Well, this one I actually did in one sitting. Oh and ignore the terrible title...meh heh... alliterations are torture.

Hope you'll review and I'll be back real soon with another installment, I promise. (I'll force it out of myself if needed...it'll be punishment for making all of you guys wait...what? 3 months? xP ack! -knocks self over head-)

Ai

edit: title change... used to be "Difficulty Denying" which makes no sense whatsoever