When Nick and Care finally arrived at the party, a few of her relatives already there and staring after her. She shuffled nervously at Nick's side, and he fought the urge to shield her from sympathetic looks coming from the well-dressed elderly people around them.
They neared the check-in room and her toddler steps turned to baby ones.
"I'm not sure I can do this." She hushed. Nick put an arm around her back.
"You'll never be sure of this. But we still have to go inside." He coaxed, pushing her as she still slowed. One foot into the threshold and she nearly felt paralyzed on the spot. But she managed to push her stress down and take another step. Caroline gripped Nick's hand tightly and they went to the little window to sign their names.
Probably what made this worse was this had all been what was planned for her and Stefan's engagement party. She still had the book of people's signatures in her box. It had been a time to remember, after all. Her mom didn't want to miss a single detail.
As an elderly woman was already there, and Caroline had time to breathe before it was her and Nick's turns. Then woman turned.
"Aunt Bea!" She greeted happily. A sister of her stepfather.
"Dear girl! It should've been you getting married." The woman said. Caroline's smile disappeared. "You didn't have to return the gravy boat." Now her face was red. "And to think Stefan is the best man..." Yes, I've been replaying that in my head the past six months, thank you...
"Have you met Nick?" Caroline asked, pushing him ahead of her suddenly.
"How do you do?" He said in greeting, offering a hand to shake.
"Oh." Bea said. Caroline grinned at her, almost putting her head on Nick's shoulder possessively. "Charming." Bea added in approval. "And what do you do?" She asked. Caroline thought for a moment and she realized she hadn't told Nick this part of the plan. Putting a finger up and smiling with an 'excuse us', she took Nick's hand and yanked him away, trying to find a place with no prying eyes and mentally kicking herself when she noticed Aunt Bea staring worriedly after them.
"What a nightmare." She muttered to herself. The coat room was just large enough, yes. She pushed through clothing racks, tunneling into the other side of the room and luckily Nick followed without question.
"Okay I forgot to tell you this. We just started dating. You're a therapist, and you're crazy about me." Caroline took the longer jacket from off her shoulders and hung up it with the others, then took a paper bundle from one pocket.
Nick stared at her in worry. "I was just as capable of thinking of a cover story for myself." He replied. She shook her head.
"Count it. $6,000 even." She commanded.
"I trust you." He tried to protest, about to put it in his jacket pocket.
"No. Count it." Caroline commanded again with a shakier tone. Nick took it with annoyance and looked through the paper bundle, pretending to count it. Caroline however, did it for him. He wondered how many times she'd done that already.
"I'll cover expenses. But if you want to get intimate, we talk money first." Nick said.
"That won't be an issue. I find the idea of sex for money morally repugnant." Caroline replied. His cold eyes stared back at her. "Sorry. No offense."
"Love, do me a favor. Look at this for what it is, a simple business transaction. Possibly you won't feel the need to apologize."
"Right, okay."
Nick walked out of the clothes racks as if this was a normal day at the office - maybe it was - while Caroline went through and tried to make the jackets look like they had when they came in. And quietly.
They walked out together, and Caroline accidentally bumped into him, smiling nervously. All the anger and annoyance he felt at her acting like he was a bad secret she had to keep died down and he smiled back.
"Carebear!" Her mother called, hurrying over to her. She noticed a half drunk martini in her hand and closed her eyes. "What took you so long!" Liz Forbes pulled her eldest daughter in for a hug, keeping the drink from sloshing.
Nick's heart warmed at the interaction and Liz pulled away.
"Who might this be?" She asked.
"Hi, I'm the new guy." He replied smoothly with a tinge of nervousness in his tone. Damn, he was a good actor.
"Lovely!" Liz said, then pulled Caroline to her side. "This is a marathon, not a sprint. We've got Welcome Cocktails today," She began to lead Caroline behind her, Nick following and sharing a happy and encouraging smile with Caroline, "then tomorrow Young People in the Park followed by Stags and Hens."
Liz turned to walk backwards, talking to them both. "Friday's the picnic, then the Rehearsal Dinner." Liz stopped walking and Caroline saw her stepdad a foot away, both smiling. "And since you so foolishly left no margin for jet lag, I need you to hydrate." She said sternly, pointing an accusing finger. Caroline nodded, feeling like a scolded eight year old all over again. It was like she'd never left.
Liz walked away, and a taller graying man came toward her, offering open arms with a drink on one hand as well. Caroline smiled genuinely, relief washing over her.
"Dad!" She greeted, putting her arms slowly over his shoulders for a hug, needing to savor this feeling to get back her inner strength. She kissed his cheek as the standard English greeting.
"My darling." The man greeted in return. Nick smiled again noticing how relaxed she was with her stepfather. Professor Arnold Ellis, a widely respected professor at Yale University. Caroline pulled away and turned to him.
"Meet Nick." She offered with a nice steady tone.
"Professor Ellis." Nick greeted, shaking the man's hand.
"Care?!" A voice rang out over the other conversations from across the room. Caroline spun around in alarm to see a platinum blonde in a white dress grinning at her. Rebekah Ellis reached out like the little toddler child who adored her big sister decades now ago. Caroline grinned, both happy and nervous all over again. Seeing Rebekah meant it was now inevitable she'd bump into Stefan any minute.
"I'm getting married, oh Carebear! I missed you so much!" Rebekah dragged her big sister in for a hug, rocking her madly back and forth and making Caroline unsteady on her feet.
"Gosh, who's the hunk, huh?" Rebekah grinned again, Caroline was about to introduce him before Rebekah saw another old friend and rushed over. Caroline looked back at Nick and nervously fought the urge to push her hair behind her ears. No, it was perfect the way it was, it was just fine.
"At times like these, I find a good stiff drink helps, don't you?" Professor Ellis replied with a casual smirk.
"Would you like me to get you a refill, sir?" Nick asked.
"Oh, very kind of you." Arnold replied.
While Nick disappeared, Caroline came in and dove for one of the complimentary martinis already sitting on the bar.
"Where did you find him?" Arnold asked. Caroline opened her mouth to find a lie. Then Nick met her eye with a charming smile and she shook her head at herself.
"Yellow Pages," she joked. Arnold chuckled and took the drink offered to him.
A glass clinked loudly, and some conversations died down.
"Hello?" A voice sounded. Caroline took an exploratory sip of the drink. Blueberry martini, nice. Nick was by her side immediately, seeing who it was that was talking. The voice fumbled with the microphone they were holding and she turned around to see.
Liz. A drunk Liz Ellis.
"Oh sweet jesus, who gave that woman an amp?!" Caroline demanded in a hushed tone. Nick fought the urge to laugh.
"Oh, it's finally working." Liz said. "Alright, does everyone have a drink? Because I'm going to say a few words which we all might feel the need to erase the memory of later." She got a genuine laugh from everyone because they all knew what was coming.
Then Stefan slipped into the room, looking around at everyone and pressing into the wall. Caroline caught sight of him and his kind eyes, and she had to look away in sympathy, twirling the martini with one hand. "Welcome friends, and family." Liz began, the microphone suddenly got louder and made the woman jump. People clapped in response. Caroline looked around, anywhere but at Stefan. Then she saw Rebekah and Marcel had found each other in the crowd, and his arms were hugged around her from behind, both of them beaming at her mother.
"I'm-Arnold and I, are so happy," Caroline took a long worried drink of her martini staring at the happy couple, before Nick turned to her and she realized what she was doing, turning back to face her mother, "to have you all celebrate with us, as we welcome Marcel Gerard into our family." The power went out on her mic for a moment but Liz didn't notice.
"It's funny, we always thought we would marry off Care first." Caroline froze and she stared at her mother. "We had good reason to hope because she was so popular with the boys at school. We came pretty close once but as you all know, that crashed and burned." Liz must've expected a laugh, but there was an uncomfortable silence overtaking the crowd. Why would she bring this up in front of everyone?
Caroline forced a smile as the sympathetic guests turned to her. Tears still filled her eyes and she felt very small. Stefan downed his drink in one gulp, ignoring glares and compassionate looks alike. He put down his glass and went for the piano near him.
Liz continued. "Uh, luckily we got back the deposit so here we are again-"
The wedding march began to be played, and all eyes turned to Stefan. Then he did one last note, chuckling. The others joined him and Liz finally realized her mistake. Caroline looked away, both grateful Stefan swooped in like that and very depressed she couldn't thank him. Nick caught her eye and almost gave her a hug. He glared at Liz now, and wanted to shut her up right then and there. But the woman just grinned in embarrassment.
"Ah well yes, yes back to the bride and groom." She said. She raised her mostly empty glass to Marcel. He was still beaming with his arms around Rebekah, though Caroline knew he was going to trash talk her mother later and she couldn't wait for it. Rebekah now had a contemptuous look on her face that still didn't spoil the beauty it held.
"Marcellus, we are so glad, that you fell in love with the girl next door. Our Bex. Congratulations, babies!" Liz toasted.
"To the bride and groom!" Arnold called. The crowd echoed it and the mic was thankfully taken away from Caroline's drunken rambling mother.
"You okay?" Nick asked with concern. Caroline just shook her head.
"I just need a minute. I'll be back." She replied. She disappeared to the bathroom, and fixed her makeup, before making sure her hair clip was still firmly in place. When she looked back out to the hallway, Stefan was standing casually outside. He smiled gently and she grinned back.
"Stefan."
"Hello, Care." He greeted. She held back, and he laughed nervously, taking a step and leaning in, cheek to cheek. She tried to savor it...but what was there to savor? He wasn't hers anymore. He'd made sure of that. And she desperately wanted to still be his, but did he actually want her anymore?
When he took a step back, he gestured to her outfit.
"Wow, you look great." He approved. She breathed a laugh. "Gorgeous." Stefan added.
"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD oh my god, Carebear! Ohh!" Caroline's cousin Elena swooped in and crushed her into a hug with her bony arms. "Where the hell have you been?!" Caroline shrugged with a smile tugging at her lips. Elena whipped around to look at Stefan whom she'd purposefully been ignoring.
"Hello, dickhead!" Stefan's polite smile faded. "Listen, since you dumped my cousin brutally and without giving any reason, you won't mind if I steal her from you, right? Excellent." She took Caroline's hand, both Care and Stefan shared sad hurried looks as Elena yanked her away.
"You didn't have to do that!" Caroline scolded.
"I wasn't saving you from him, I was saving you from yourself." Elena brought them both back to the bar, and Caroline gulped in another blueberry martini.
"By the way, did he bring a date?" Caroline asked worriedly, gnawing on the remaining olive.
"Care. Why waste another minute on that horses' ass when Mr. Tie Me Up Tie Me Down is waiting for you other there?" Elena asked, staring hard at Nick who was charming Caroline's mother and a few of her friends.
"What does he do?"
"Therapist."
Nick turned around, caught Caroline's eye, and winked. She uncomfortably waved back.
"Oh my God, he is hot." Elena said in approval.
Nick joined her at the bar, and Elena went off to talk to another friend of the family. He bought Caroline a stiff drink, and ordered one for himself as well. When the bartender put them down, she eyed him and smiled with a muttered 'thank you'. Just as she was about to take a sip, she heard a voice.
"Can I have that?" Bex asked. Caroline turned to her little sister, Nick looking at her as well in surprise. She put the drink down and slid it to her sister, looking back at Nick with a smile. The girl was allowed complimentary drinks, any kind she wanted, and of course she only wanted whatever Caroline was about to have.
Rebekah smiled at him with a straw in her mouth, waving both hands cutely. Caroline pushed the drink closer to her. Rebekah leaned over, her eyes still on Nick, and put the straw in the drink with a giggle. She reached out her hand to Care, but not trying to take her sister's hand. Nick glared at the younger sister blatantly taking advantage of her kindness. No wonder Caroline was a nervous wreck.
"You know what I love about all of this, Carebear?" Bex asked.
"There's finally a reason for the world to revolve around you?" Caroline asked.
"Exactly!" Rebekah replied with a laugh.
Marcel popped up behind Rebekah and pinched her side on one side, then the other. Marcel put an arm around her waist and wetly kissed her neck.
"There you are." Bex greeted. Nick gave Caroline his drink, then gestured for the bartender for another. Caroline breathed deeply, clutching the glass and willing Bex not to see it.
"How's the future Mrs. Gerard?" Marcel asked.
"I'm perfect, thirteen glasses in." Rebekah replied, booping her fiance on the nose with a grin. "Marcel's forehead pressed against hers, Rebekah muttered a 'thanks snufflepop'. Caroline gulped, reeling in her jealousy.
Marcel kissed her sister deeply, the young blonde moaning loudly her appreciation. Caroline moved her hands around and Nick stared at the display with disgust.
Marcel finally broke the kiss, and Rebekah laughed, smiling at Caroline.
"Am I not the luckiest bastard on earth?" He asked the other couple. Nick then put an arm around Caroline shoulders, his other hand on her forearm.
"Aw..." Caroline smiled and took the tips of Nick's fingers in her hand.
"I'll dance to that!" Rebekah said, taking Marcel's hand. Marcel tried to tip Rebekah back on her seat but they both fell, Caroline leaned over the bar to see if they were okay though Nick's hands were still possessive on her skin. It was surprisingly comforting.
"You know, this is what he gets for taking dance classes two days before the wedding." Rebekah cackled as Marcel put the stool back up with annoyance.
"Come on, who's ever heard of dance lessons for a wedding?" He asked. Caroline stared at him and didn't know how she hadn't noticed before how drunk the guy was.
"Pretty much everyone, mate." Nick quipped. Caroline smiled in agreement. Marcel looked at him dumbfounded.
"You are joking." Marcel asked nervously
"We'll go with you." Nick replied steely.
"I don't even know you, hunky donkey, and I love you already." Bex said, giggling. Marcel furrowed his brow at this. But Nick's arm disappeared from Caroline's shoulders, and instead he played with the tip of her ear, tickling her skin. Caroline smushed her cheek against it and grinned widely, feeling better. She wasn't as out of place as she'd felt before.
Nick spotted a man leaning over a balcony railing and joined him there. The man was drinking...and smoking.
"Hey." Nick greeted.
"Oh, hello." The man quickly threw the cigarette over the edge with a cop-out smile. Nick studied him. There were a lot of reasons why he chose the profession he did, but one main one was reading the other person he had to trick well enough to know what the other wanted to hear.
"Wedding are supposed to be a celebration of love and commitment. But really, it's just to get drunk and say things we shouldn't."
"Philosopher, right?" The man guessed.
"Therapist."
"Wow!"
"What?"
"Oh, nothing."
"No, tell me."
"Well, therapy. Paying someone to listen to my problems. It's nice to have someone to sympathize, make you feel better. Cause you want to solve the problems but you can't."
"Seems like you need one. I could give you a number if you need it."
"I actually find drinking nights away and making bad decisions all throughout to be more therapeutic." The man chuckled. Nick breathed a dry laugh, looking away.
"I'm Stefan." The man introduced.
"Nick."
They shared a nod and Stefan looked inside to the party.
"Oh God."
Nick's eyes pierced him. Stefan shrugged.
"There's a girl, here. That I care about. Suppose you could say I love her. But the problem is, she's here with some other guy."
Right then Caroline swooped in, pressing a wet kiss to Nick's mouth and putting an arm around him. He kissed her back, knowing it was all an act. It was certainly easier for the guy to learn who he was this way than having to introduce himself again and again. Her eyes held his for a moment while Stefan kept trying to get her attention.
"Hey Care."
"Oh, hey yourself." She greeted unconcernedly. She looked back to Nick. "I see you've met my ex." Caroline said, tipping her head towards Stefan. Nick's eyes drifted to him in surprise. He saw how carefree she pretending to seem, and resolved that no matter what she said, this Stefan guy didn't deserve her. But he'd help her win him back if that's what she really wanted. Only time would tell the verdict though.
"I was just telling him how we met." Nick told her.
"Hmm, yeah the Knicks game." She replied. Nick grinned at her, then faced Stefan, who shifted uncomfortably now.
"You hate sport." Stefan protested.
"I hate cricket." Caroline pointed out.
"Right. Yeah."
Care stared Nick an adoring face and Stefan looked away.
"Well I should go. Leave you two alone." He hurried off. Caroline took her hand from Nick's shoulders immediately, her facade falling away.
"He looks miserable." Caroline said decidedly. Nick licked his lips, glaring after the man and wondering what the hell she saw in him. "What were you two talking about?"
"Well he was drunk. But I think he's still crazy about you." Nick said candidly. Caroline's head whipped back to him in surprise.
"What'd he say? You don't...you don't think he wants me back?" Her eyes told him everything he needed to know. She was in wonder...but also a hint of disappointed. Even if she didn't know it yet.
Eventually Caroline learned her mother and stepfather were ready to go home, so she and Nick got in a cab with all her luggage and drove to her childhood home. He took most of the stuff, and Caroline walked freely up two flights of steps to her room. Liz and Arnold helped Nick bring the rest of the cases up, all panting and sweating at the top.
"Where's Nick sleeping?" Caroline asked. She looked at Nick. "My mother has this rules of two people sharing a room with no ring invol-"
"No I don't." Liz interjected.
"What?" Caroline asked in shock. If anyone had been paying attention but him, they would've started to question this whole show Caroline was putting on. Inwardly, she added that to the amount of nervousness she was carrying. And Nick kept his eyes on Liz, knowing what was happening in Caroline's head.
"I'm not as small-town as my daughter thinks." Liz said, smiling at Caroline whose mouth was open in hurt, and smiling back at Nick before going back downstairs.
Caroline opened the door, and cursed at herself for the one step down that led fully into her room. Nick let the corner of one case bang on the floor, and Caroline didn't scold him.
"I went through a big floral phase." She excused the wallpaper. And bed sheets. And lampshade. And fake flowers in vases on her dresser. Nick went and sat on a nearby chair, taking his socks and shoes off. Caroline went into her bathroom, pulling out a makeup remover wipe and craning at her tall mirror to start with her forehead.
Nick noticed she was on her tip toes again.
"Is that an old habit from ballet class, or a lifetime of walking on eggshells." Nick earnestly held her gaze as she looked back at him, shocked. She took a step and knocked her door mostly closed with one foot.
"I never took ballet."
When she was done, she went into one drawer of her dresser, smelling the scent of her floral pajamas she prepared to get into. Her bags were open and half of it was on her bed. Including an article she'd read before she finally found Nick. His shirt was mostly unbuttoned now, and in shock he pointed at the magazine pages.
"How did you know that was me?" He asked. Caroline blushed.
"I have a friend at the magazine." She said.
"So much for anonymity." He grunted, fully taking his shirt off. She tried not to stare at the feather tattoo on his left pec that turned into birds farther along his shoulder, and the respectable set of abs he had.
"Go ahead and look, love. Part of the package." Nick smirked. Caroline laughed nervously in spite of herself. He undid his belt.
"Sorry, I'm just a little nervous."
"So I've seen." He replied gently.
"I just never thought anything like this could happen to me." Caroline said.
"This happened TO you?" Nick asked skeptically.
"H-happened, to me in a sense that I picked up a phone, tracked you down, flew you here and paid you 6,000 dollars out of my 401K." She admitted. Nick laughed, going to the shower. He had his white briefs halfway down his ass before he stepped foot inside and Caroline couldn't help a peek. Then she snapped her head away and shook her head, getting the rest of her clothes out and packed.
"Could you get my shampoo?" He called.
"Shampoo, got it!" She hurried to the almost sheer curtain, and slapped it into his hand.
The shower started, and Nick began whistling 'Strangers in the Night'.
Caroline cleared her throat, giving the outline of his naked body a side eye, and he stopped.
"Um, did you really mean what you said here? The part where you were a sexual surrogate and then started to...branch out?"
"The real story was my mother was a stripper. She was wildly inappropriate with me. She used to wash her undergarments in my bath water while I was still in it."
"Oh." Caroline replied in sympathy, sitting in the chair in the corner of the bathroom.
"So fully grown, I needed ways to experience intimacy and sex, but with rules that couldn't be broken."
"Wow." She said, imagining how screwed up his childhood could've been. Way worse than hers. She felt like a first world person and therefore awful for it.
Nick peeked out of the curtain with a shit-eating grin.
"I'm just screwing with you!" He protested.
Caroline smiled back at him with a glare and threw a towel at him. "You dick!" He took that as a signal to stop making her shift around so much. He got out of the shower and she hurriedly turned away, putting a finger up to say she wasn't finished.
"You say and I quote, "Every woman has the exact love life she wants. Now that's a pretty broad generalizati-AHHH!" She'd turned without realizing and saw his full wet nakedness. She put a hand up to her mouth, closing her eyes, and let out another squeak. Nick quickly dried himself off, but didn't bother to put his briefs back on, standing there until she would scurry off. Caroline just steeled herself and looked again, her fingers shaking against her eyes. She groaned.
"Do you honestly believe that I want to be single and miserable? To have had the perfect guy and then out of the blue, have him shatter my heart?!"
"First of all there's no such thing as 'out of the blue' as you say," Nick wiped his eye. "And second of all, yes." Caroline turned fully to meet his eyes. He was right, she didn't even notice what he wasn't wearing now.
"What?!" She demanded.
"When you're ready to let go, to be 'un-single' and 'un-miserable', then you will. Until then..." He finally tied a towel around his waist, and walked out of the bathroom leaving a dumbfounded Caroline staring after him.
She took her shower, and got into her floral pajamas which she was not going to apologize for. Nick was already in bed, and she made sure he wasn't fully naked on her sheets because she'd had to wash them later otherwise. Nick seemed pretty annoyed by then, but then she started piling excess sheets in-between her side of the bed and his like a barrier.
Somehow, he knew she trusted him not to make a move on her. But also that she was afraid of doing something she didn't want to. Like...touching him.
"When you were talking to Stefan earlier, how did he sound?"
"Like a harmless, self-absorbed tool." He honestly replied.
"Seriously." Her fingers jabbed into his back as she wedged another blanket in.
"He sounded tormented." Nick said, knowing it's what she wanted to actually hear. Whether Stefan felt real feelings was debatable at this point, but it was better to assuage Caroline. She didn't need to freak out again right now when she was supposed to be getting rest. Caroline stared at him, freezing in her work and decided that she was done making the barrier. She got into the bed, and pressed the blankets farther against Nick's legs and back.
"Tormented how? Like he's upset that I'm here with someone else or he regrets throwing away our life together?"
Nick didn't respond. He didn't want to talk about Stefan anymore, and pretended to sleep. He needed the rest anyhow. Caroline got into bed, hovering up behind him.
"It's just that...this hasn't really turned out the way I thought."
Okay, Nick was actually asleep. He didn't answer her, and she needed to sleep too.
Caroline rolled over, nearly falling off the bed, and settled onto her back. A glass of milk on her nightstand and her lamp still on, she stared at the ceiling.