A/N: Do you remember Lemony Goodness, one of the previous Barks chapters? Well, I was requested to do something similar, but witch another fic. So there will be a small part of that fic cited here. It probably isn't what you had in mind, but yeah, enjoy.
An Ultimate Weapon
Naraku was sitting in his room with a cup of miasma flavored tea. He was contemplating a scroll spread on a small lacquered table in front of him.
It contained a skillfully composed and masterfully written waka from Lord Sesshomaru. It would be worthy of being hung on a display for anyone to see and to make the evil hanyou's more respected for being in possession of such a beautiful poetry from the Western Lord himself.
Sadly, the poem would never see the light of day or anyone reading it, because Lord Sesshomaru used it to tell Naraku in elegant writing that he deemed him worthless and beneath even Inuyasha's feet, which was obviously a greater insult in the daiyoukai's opinion than any other.
Naraku glared at the poem,
"Damn this Sesshomaru, I wish this poem..." he hissed, but never finished the wish.
A sacred arrow came through the barrier around his palace and the screen wall of his room, sizzling with purifying power. It embedded itself in the center of the paper and it burst in flames.
"Huh?" Naraku blinked at all that, unsure what to do next. As soon as the offending poem was burned the arrow lot its glow and fell tot he table as harmless as a stick.
It was when Naraku noticed that there was something tied to the shaft of the arrow. Carefully he untied it and peered at a handful of pages, each covered on both sides by rows upon rows of letters. The vile hanyou marveled on the skill of the one who had written it, the letters were perfectly identical in height, the rows straight and the curves round. He picked the first page and started to read, curious about the contents of the message.
"Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). [[I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie..."
.
Kagome and her friends crouched behind some bushes, watching intently the shimmering barrier around Naraku's palace.
"It has been five minutes," Miroku said, holding Kirara in his embrace and stroking her back. "Do you think he reached the sex scene yet?"
"Monk!" Sango hissed at him and pointed with her eyes to Shippou. The kitsune seemed not to hear, being more interested in a lollipop he was holding.
"I really don't get why we're sitting here and doing nothing," Inuyasha grumbled. "We could just storm the place and get rid of him."
"It's better this way," Kagome glanced at her watch. "You'll see, that arrow will do him more bad than any of our attack ever could."
"Feh, won't believe before I see it," Inuyasha crossed his arms.
As if on cue Naraku appeared on the engawa of his palace. He looked a tad disheveled, his hair in disarray, his baboon pelt hanging from one shoulder as he leaped off of the raised floor to the grass of the garden.
With a shriek that sounded like nothing Inuyasha had ever heard before, Naraku threw his pelt off of him and ran across the grass, his fancy kimono spreading around him like wings of a butterfly when his obi got loose. Shouting like a flailed man Naraku raced across the green expanse just to reach the top of the cliff. But, instead of stopping there and yelling at the wind, Naraku actually jumped. The gang still could hear him howling as he fell down to meet the jagged rocks and crashing waves on the bottom of the tall cliff. Then, finally, Inuyasha could her the pained screams of insane man stopping.
"Score!" Kagome exclaimed and threw her fists up to the sky.
"Remarkable," Miroku, the only one who had had the nerve to actually read some passages from the sent text - only because Kagome had told them that there was a lemony scene included, mind you - nodded in thought and held Kirara closer to his chest.
The tiny kitty purred and nuzzled the monk, who was holding much better than she had predicted him to.