Ryuk's Rooftop Rescue
Disclaimer: L owns Raito
Alas, the great Yagami Raito had been sent to the mental ward section after repeated "odd behaivior.
But what was that? Oh, it couldn't be! But it was! The corner of his mouth twitched as his eyes fell upon the pale uniform left lying on the drawer across from his bed. Giggling like a retarded fangirl downloading J-rock pr0n, he stepped over to claim it.
He glanced at his roomate sleeping soundly beside him. Or maybe he was comatose...dead, maybe? Anyway, he quietly reached out to grab the box of tissues next to his bed and quickly balled them up, stuffing them into his new getup.
One and a half boxes tissues later, he emerges from the restroom, fully clad in a female nurse uniform.
"I wonder if L likes cosplaying..." he murmured, looking down at his uniform. Why did he still look flat chested?
A random man passed by and kind of just...stared a little.
This wasn't gonna work. If he was going to degrade himself into wearing a female nurse uniform he was going to look HOT in it.
Immediately, he ran back into the room to observe his figure in the mirror. The dress was a little too loose...shit, what was he wasting his time on? He grabbed massive handfuls of tissues and shoved them down his shirt. He needed to get out of the place. After sixty-four sneaking-out-the-door attempts, he figured that it just wasn't going to work running out of the hospital when he thought no one was watching.
Ah, wait. He ran back and swiped the teddy bear off his roommate's shelf. The guy was dead, he wouldn't need it where he was going. And Raito missed his Mr. Imagay that had unfortunately been lost in his previous suicidal attempt.
"Your new name is Imagay the Second alright? Yay!" he suddenly felt disgusted. Spending too much time with Misa was hazardous.
Stepping outside his room again, he was rewarded with a whistle from some random patient who happened to be passing by. Success!
"THERE HE IS AGAIN! SACHIKO, COME HELP ME DRAG HIM BACK!"
Or not.
He sprinted as fast as he could in that tight little skirt up the stairs to the roof… with much difficulty. The clothing garment from hell had to be at least 5 sizes too small and hugged his hips mercilessly. It somehow reminded him of that miniskirt L wore when they were drunk on New Ye-
Riiiiipppppppppppppppp.
Clunk.
Raito's left foot was throbbing; he had tripped over the stairs with that damn hospital slipper and the revealing split up his skirt really wasn't helping. He quickly kicked off his (stolen) stylish Italian Young Cow leather stiletto off his other foot and climbed up to the roof.
It was all over if he was caught now. He sniffed and squeezed Imagay II, longing for the comfort of Mr. Imagay. Why can't they just leave him alone to wallow in self pity?
Standing at the edge of the hospital roof, he looked down and savored the view from eighteen floors up. The people below laughed, talked, and gossiped. Couples on picnics, by the pond, on the bench.
There is nothing in the world I want more…
He closed his eyes.
It was cruel. Too cruel to be through this again.
…than to love and be loved…
He remembered that day when they were on coffee break. Matsuda and the others had joked about L's eyes.
… by him.
He was the only one that truly loved them, because only he understood those eyes.
Why is that so wrong?
Because only he was reminded of his own insomnia when he studied three nights straight to get into that prestigious middle school.
The only one I ever wanted...
His eyes had been exactly like L's. Wide. Baggy. Obsessed and squealed over by fangirls.
...ever loved...
It was now or never, he had to jump to free himself from this torturous life or be sent back and locked up - complete with a straightjacket and white, padded room.
… was you.
He jumped.
He fell.
The trip down the hospital side was...pretty far. This wasn't going according to his calculations at all - the gravity, the height, he should've long been made into a giant, splattered pile of roadkill! Curious, he slowly opened his eyes.
"LOLOLOL SUP MAN RAITO"
This was not happening.
"LOLZ WHATCHOO apples TRYIN TA DO? I TOLD U ALREADY U applez CANT FLY LOL U DONT HAV WINGS LIKE ME"
"Ryuk," he managed to choke out through his disbelief.
"APPLES BUY ME SUM AITE LOL"
"I'm FLYING THROUGH THE AIR RIGHT NOW. Do you think those people are blind? PUT ME DOWN, DAMMIT!"
"LOLOLOLOL apples are awesome K ILL PUT U DOWN HOLD ON WHERE?"
He slapped himself, wishing it was all a horrible nightmare.
Ouch.
Damn, not a nightmare.
"LOL ILL DROP U AT THE SUPERMARKET K N U CAN BUY ME APPLEZ"
"NO JUST LET ME DOWN NOW DAMMIT," Raito started to struggle himself free from being carried like an idiot in the air.
"LOLZ apples OK DEN"
Raito sighed in frustration and held his face in his hands, not seeing the giant sign above.
ENTER HAPPYLAND! THE WORLD OF SPARKLES AND FLUFF!
OMAKE (for Ragnarok Online players)
Sunglasses (1) to conceal your identity: 1,975,000 zeny from a street merchant
Raito peeks out from behind some sort of a wall
"I feel like I'm being watched"
"Fufufufufu"
Cake for your beloved: 500,346 zeny for the SP heals
"DAMN CRUISER MOBS"
"LOLZ a nub wizzy in toy"
"Hey, can I buy your cakes"
"LOLZ he wants 2 buy my cake"
Finding the perfect anniversary gift: 146 million zeny
"Two cruisers and 600cakes for your valk"
"LOLZ wut kinda crak r u on, gimme wings "
"...I don't even have wings"
"LOLZ gime z den"
"Ugh, how much"
"150m"
"WHAT"
"149 then"
"Ugh hold on let me sell my cake"
"LOLz ok"
"146million zeny"
"LOLZ 148"
"I only have 146"
"LOLZ ok den"
"L better freaking appreciate this"
"LOLZ huh"
"Wrong chat"
Finding out he owns the server...Priceless
"Uh...thank you, Yagami-kun, but uh why'd you buy me a Valkyrie helmet?"
"You'd look hotter in one :D"
"And 5 cakes"
"Well uh, I HAD 600+ before...I kinda...sold them"
"You know thats my server right"
"...What"
"I'm the GM"
"WHAT"
"It's called L-RO, what'd you expect?"
For everything else there's for Donation items
A/N: Gawd, Raito you N00B. Um, yeah sorry for the short chapter and slow updates. XD; So uh, an omake to make up for it? Though I doubt many people play RO.