Mariko's Mundane Morning

A/N: Raito cusses (a lot? some?) and there is virtually no angst whatsoever. No angst-y angst anyway. No suicidal love-poems to L because this chapter has been delayed long enough and I can't write angst. BUT THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE ABSOLUTELY FULL OF IT. I think. I'll ask. Screw homework.

Oh, and

I DON'T OWN IPOD? what.

-

ENTER HAPPYLAND! THE WORLD OF SPARKLES AND FLUFF!

-said the unnoticed sign. Annoyed, it decided to drop the fifth T.

It now said:

ENTER HAPPYLAND! THE WORLD OF SPARKLES AND FLUFF!

A miscalculation- there was no fifth T.

"LOLOLOL KAYZ SO LYK ILL DROP U HEER K RATO/" Ryuk spammed.

"JUST PUT ME DOWN!" he felt a little airsick; maybe he should've stayed in that hospital. Ugh, and how could Ryuk spell his name wrong? There was a limit to stupidity, even for shinigami.

And as he wished, he was dropped.

Three hundred feet above the ground, he was dropped.

Yeah, that's got to hurt. When he wakes up, that is.

-

Ugh, what happened to the sky? Last time he checked, it was still purple. Why is it black and white? Oh shit, not the sun. Ugh, his eyes. Ack, color! And contrast! Unfocused vision! Splitting headache! Exclamation marks! Oh, the pain.

He rolled over to the side to get a good look at where Ryuk dropped him. Water? Oh, waves! Ryuk had dropped him near the ocean! Good job, he silently complimented. Ah! And there was a mini cliff near water he could use to jump off of too! It wasn't as high as the other cliff he wanted to jump off of, the one where he and L had enjoyed a picnic before a swarming group of fangirls tried to eat them. But it would do. He just wanted to get it over with.

Climbing up the mini cliff, he decided that it wasn't nearly as high as he'd like it to be- but he'd still drown so it was all good. This was a state of crisis! He had no time to be picky!

But it'd really be a much more memorable death if he could just go back to that special place- he could still leave and get a taxi right? Wait no, the hospital stole his wallet. Damn doctors! They made enough already! What nerve, to steal a poor student's wallet! Except he wasn't really a student anymore since he wasn't going to school- But it was still an invasion of privacy! And it was theft! They should be jailed, dammit. But then he never paid the hospital bill! Oh, that was why...Wait, no! He was hospitalized against his will-

And so, back to the cliff: It was really a difficult cliff to climb, despite the shortness of it all. He had not calculated that such a vertically challeneged cliff would be so extremely impossible to climb.

Oh wait. If he went around the cliff and then walked up, it'd be so much easier! Ha, Raito you genius, you.

And so that was what he did. He went and walked up the side of the cliff.

-

Mariko sighed and admired her manicure. She had been part-timing at this little kiddy-amusement-water-park thingy and the chlorine would, like, totally ruin her new five thousand yen manicure. It was all nice, new, shiny, and had, like, little sparkly rhinestones things that would so fall off if she had to get into the damn water. Like, why'd she apply for this stupid job anyway? Oh well, at least she got to wear the swimsuit of her choice- given that it was red- which was ok, 'cuz red was so her color.

Except that this was a little kiddy-amusement-water-park thingy and no one important would see her in it anyway. She decided to, like, totally quit this ghetto job and get another one. Then she remembered how much she needed that cash; her parents had cut off her allowance and told her to get a job after she, like, totally maxed out her credit card and went into, um, debt.

Ugh! Why couldn't she have gotten, like, a job like Nanami at some cute shop? She so saw that Help Wanted sign first! Bitch.

She sighed again and adjusted her nine thousand yen designer sunglasses and watched the solitary cloud drift across the sky, dreading the moment the west side of the park opened and the little people flooded in.

SPLASHH!

She checked her watch. Oh, it was probably slow. Great, there goes the peace and quiet and iPod time. At least there was some nice scenery, with all the fake trees and plastic rock walls.

Waitaminute. Splash? Ugh, those little brats.

She picked up the microphone and made sure to go job hunting later.

-

OWW! SHITSHITSHIT WHY THE FUCKING HELL WAS THE WATER TWO FEET DEEP? WHAT THE FUCKING HE-

OH FS(#&#!DMKSM!

WHAT THE FU-

AW HELL NO, WAS HE- WAS HE BLEEDING?

FUCKFUCKFU-

"No diving in the kiddie pool, please," came the high, sarcastic voice through static-y speakers.

K-kiddie pool?

KIDDIE POOL?

RYUK DROPPED HIM IN A POOL? A POOL FOR SHORT, LITTLE, PEOPLE?

Well that explained the depth of the water-

-which was now stained with the downpour of what looked like cranberry juice running steadily from the gaping wound in his forehead.

"I repeat, no diving in the kiddie pool, allrightt?"

-

A/N: And I will make sure that my cowriter writes an angst filled chapter to balance the random pointlessness of this one.