This is my first Naruto story so be nice. I do not own any of these characters. If I did they would all be living in Ramen Mountain ...with rubber duckies! I also do not own Candy Mountain! You can find Candy Mountain on Youtube under the search 'Charlie'...its the one with the unicorn...it will help explain the insanity...
Kakashi was dreaming, the normal dream, and beautiful women on a beach, rubbing suntan lotion on him while reading Itch itch paradise out loud to him. He smiled in his sleep, this was the good life. He sensed the chakra of his loudest student before he opened his eyes to confront him.
Naruto ran over to him shaking his still prone form on the bed.
"Hey Kakashi, Hey Kakashi wake up."
Kakashi chose to ignore the small blonde, used to his morning annoyances.
"Yeah Kakashi, you silly sleepy head wake up." Sasuke said enthusiastically.
Kakashi's eyes immediately snapped open. Sasuke was never that chipper. Something was clearly wrong. He blinked his tired eyes before turning them upon the two boys.
"What is the village on fire?" He asked simply, startled to fins both Sasuke and Naruto smiling down on him.
Naruto shook his head.
"No Kakashi, we found a map to Ramen Mountain. Ramen Mountain Kakashi."
Kakashi blinked. Ramen Mountain? He was being woken up because Naruto had a dream about a mountain of Ramen? He turned to Sasuke, who he had always found to be the most level headed of his troupe only to find the same blank smile on his face.
"Yeah Kakashi!" Sasuke said excitedly. "We're going to Ramen Mountain. Come with us Kakashi!"
Kakashi narrowed his eyes. It was clear to see that is favorite student was playing games with him. Stupid twit, he would pay for this later. No doubt he had even gotten Naruto to actually believe there was such thing as a Ramen Mountain too.
"Yeah, Ramen mountain" Kakashi said sarcastically, his eyes never leaving Sasuke's face. "I'm just gonna go back to sleep now."
He pulled the covers back over his head and sunk back into his bed closing his eyes.
He was startled to feel something jump on him the next moment, followed by another.
"What the hell." He muttered, his eyes snapping open.
"No Kakashi." Cried Naruto. "You have to come with us to Ramen Mountain!"
"Yeah Kakashi Ramen Mountain, a magical land of sweetness and joy and joyness!"
Sasuke spoke up backing his friends and giving Kakashi's side a painful jab as he jumped on him.
"Can you please stop bouncing on me?" Kakashi asked, using all of his patients not to just throw the brats out the window.
When they did not comply however he did throw them off of him and sat up in his bed. He eyed he brats on the floor for a moment watching them collect themselves before returning to pester him.
"Ramen Mountain Kakashi!" Naruto exclaimed grabbing hold of one of Kakashi's legs.
"Yeah, Ramen Mountain!" Sasuke yelled grabbing a hold of the other leg.
Kakashi sighed. This was going to be a long day. Finally he relented.
"Alright fine," He spoke in an exasperated tone. "I'll go with you to Ramen Mountain."
The two boys quickly jumped to their feet each grabbing a hold of one of his arms. Kakashi thought about protesting but thought better of it. The sooner this was over the sooner he could get back to sleep.
As they walked along the path, one which, mush to Kakashi's surprise he had never actually been on before, the boys had begun to sing.
"Lalalalalalala!" The two preteen voices echoed through out the woods.
Kakashi had been fighting off a headache for the better part of an hour. He rubbed his temples in vain as the boys voices cracked as they tried for a higher pitch. When Sasuke started his solo piece Kakashi had had enough.
"Enough with the singing already!" Kakashi snapped.
The boys glanced back at him but seemed unphased. Naruto let out a gasp of joy and pointed. Sasuke following his friend's finger smile widely.
"Our first stop is over there Kakashi!" Naruto said for his teacher benefit.
Kakashi frowned yet again. The boys were using his name far too much for his liking. Something was defiantly up. Probably something to do with Gia, his eternal rival would love a chance to annoy him. When he got back to town he would be sure to string that man up by his feet.
As Kakashi moved forward to get a better look at what the boys were staring at a large green lizard came into view. It was covered in brown and orange spots and appeared to be dead, at least from Kakashi's point of view.
"Oh god, what is that?" He asked examining the lizard from a safe distance.
Naruto ran to his teacher's side grabbing onto one of his hands.
"It's a leoplurodon Kakashi!" Naruto declared joyously.
Kakashi looked down at the blonde boy in wonder. In his lifetime he never imagined Naruto would ever utter a word with so many syllables.
"The magical Leoplorodon!" Sasuke corrected breezily moving to stand next to Naruto.
Naruto nodded excitedly.
"It's going to guide our way to Ramen Mountain!" He explained.
Kakashi looked from one innocent joy filled face to the other. This was insane.
"Alright guys." He said pulling his arm away from Naruto to look at both boys properly. "You do know that there is no actual Ramen mountain, right?"
Both boys' eyes went wide, and they quickly moved to clutch each other in shock.
"No!" Sasuke said in awe.
"Believe it!" Naruto said holding out a hand to his mentor.
"Believe it!" Sasuke said echoing his friend.
"Belllliiieeevvvee iiiiiittttttt!" Naruto said at length.
Naruto rolled his eyes. Idiots.
"Yeah." He muttered. He needed a beer.
Suddenly a loud grunt was emitted, apparently from the leoplurodon was a live.
Kakashi turned to eye it.
"It has spoken!" Naruto declared loudly in awe.
Sasuke's jaw dropped momentarily before he spoke.
"It has told us the way!" he said at length, taking great care to pronounce ever word slowly.
Kakashi looked between the two boys and then back to the giant lizard.
"Guys, it didn't say anything!" Kakashi yelled pointing at the lizard.
The boys did not seem to hear what he said, or more likely chose to ignore him.
Naruto turned and pointed off in the distance.
"It's just over this bridge Kakashi!" He exclaimed and began skipping in the direction he pointed.
Sasuke grabbed a hold of Naruto's hand and began to skip in time with him.
"This magical bridge of hope and wonder!" He sang lyrically.
As they reached the bridge Kakashi came to the sudden realization that it was not so much a bridge as a few blanks of wood tied together across a great canyon. AS they walked the boys began to hum to a tune only they knew. It reminded Kakashi vaguely of jazz; it had now really melody and jumped about in no real order. It was making him go insane. After a few steps across the rickety 'bridge' Kakashi's feet were rapidly getting covered in splinters. Kakashi frowned.
"Is anyone else getting covered in splinters?" Kakashi asked pulling the attention of the two humming boys, who were still currently holding hands. "Seriously guys, we shouldn't be on this thing." He said wearily watching one of the planks he had just stepped on fall into the canyon.
Naruto turned his head to look at Kakashi a broad grin across his face.
Kakashi groaned, no good could come from that smile.
"Kakashi…Kakashi…Kakashi….Kakashi!" Naruto sang.
"I'm right here, what do you want?" Kakashi snapped.
The blonde boy seemed unphased.
"We're on a bridge Kakashi!"
It took all of Kakashi's reserve not to leap over to the boy and toss him into the canyon below.
They continued on from the bridge for about another half hour. Kakashi was growing more irritated with every passing second. They boy had moved on from humming and had gravitated to actual songs. Unfortunately these songs consisted of the spice girls greatest hits. Kakashi let out a groan as Naruto loudly began to sing if you 'Wanna Be My Lover'…off key.
Suddenly Sasuke ran forward.
"Were here!" He declared loudly pointing to a structure in front of him.
Naruto jumped with joy and began to sing again.
"Ramen mountain, Ramen mountain, you fill me with sweet ramen goodness!"
Kakashi stared a few moments at the structure before him in shock. There standing before him was a mountain of ramen. Chicken, beef, you name it, it was there. Kakashi raised his hand and scratched the back of his head in confusion.
"Well, what do you know; there actually is a Ramen mountain." He muttered, more to himself then to any one else present.
Sasuke moved to his side and grasped his hand once again.
"Go inside the Ramen mountain cave Kakashi!"
Naruto hearing his friends comment ran to Kakashi's other side.
"Yeah Kakashi!" He said excitedly. "Go inside the cave. Magical wonders that you will behold when you enter!"
Kakashi eyed the cave for a moment. It was made from ramen, supposedly which meant the cave was no doubt not structurally sound.
"Yeah ah." He said slowly, wrenching his hands free from the boys. "Thanks but no thanks. I'm gonna stay out here."
Sasuke's eyes grew wide as he looked up desperately at his mentor.
"But Kakashi!" He spoke in a pleading, desperate voice. "You have to enter the Ramen Mountain Ramen Cave!"
Kakashi opened his mouth to respond when suddenly the sound of music filled the air. Kakashi quickly turned his gaze to the entrance to the Ramen Mountain Ramen Cave and watched in amazement as dancing noodles filtered out. They began to dance around to the jolly beat as one noodle moved over to the three by standards.
"Oh when your down and looking for some cheering up, then just head right on up to the Ramen Mountain Cave!"
The noodle sang loudly dancing around the trio.
"When you get inside you'll find yourself such cheering land, such a happy and joy filled and perky merry land!"
The boys let go of Kakashi's hands and began to dance with the noodles, skipping this way and that.
"They've got chicken flavored and beef flavored ramen cups and ramen things, oh so many things that will brighten up your day."
Kakashi glanced over to Naruto who appeared to be drooling to the songs words.
"It's impossible to wear a frown in Ramen town; it's the Mecca of love the Ramen Cave."
Kakashi glanced around the outcropping. If he made a run for it he might be able to sneak out after the next verse.
"They've got ramen cups and coconuts and little hats, ramen rats, ramen bats it's a wonderland of ramen.
Kakashi raised an eyebrow. What the hell were Ramen bats? He'd have to ask Naruto later. Once he killed both Naruto and Sasuke for bringing him here on his day off.
"Find the Ramen train to town and hear the ramen band ramen bells such a treat as they march across the land, ramen noodles stream across the sky and to the ground turn around it astounds, it's a dancing Ramen tree."
Kakashi looked around for said dancing ramen tree but found none.
"In the ramen cave imagination runs so free so Kakashi will you please go into the cave!"
The noodles stopped their dance the popped, disappearing from sight, and splattering the three ninjas in particles of noodles.
Kakashi's eye twitched with his suppressed anger. He looked down and saw both his students looking avidly up at him. He snapped.
"Alright fine!" He yelled. "I'll go into the freakin' Ramen Cave. This better be good!"
He angrily stomped into the Ramen cave. Once inside all he could see was darkness. A land of wonder, stupid kids.
Suddenly a noise from behind him drew his attention.
"Wahhhhhh!" Both Naruto and Sasuke said in unison, both still retained their blank smiles.
"Goodbye Kakashi!" Naruto called to his teacher.
"Yeah goodbye Kakashi!" Sasuke shouted into the cave, turning his back to his teacher.
Kakashi blinked.
"Goodbye, what?" he repeated in confusion. Weren't the boys going to come into the cave as well?
Suddenly the entrance to the cave began to close.
"Hey!" He shouted. "Hello?"
The cave was plunged in darkness. Kakashi groaned. Why the hell had he listened to those two brats? He heard movement behind him and swiftly turned.
"Who is that?" He called out.
Suddenly something connected with his head, forcing him onto the floor. His world began to swim in darkness.
Birds were chirping loudly, alerting the sleeping figure that it was morning. Kakashi groaned. He trued to stretch his stiff body but stopped short as a piercing pain traveled up his side. He quickly wrenched his eyes open and glanced down at his side.
"Ow!" He muttered. "God what happened?" He asked taking in his surroundings.
He appeared to be out in a field.
As his eyes adjusted to the early morning light he could clearly make out an incision on his left side.
"Gah!" He shouted. "They took my freakin' kidney!"
Kakashi felt something shaking him and immediately he was awake. He quickly sat up and glanced around, assessing for danger. He appeared to be in his sleeping bag, out in the forest. As he looked he noticed that his students were gathered around him, all of them looking worriedly up at him. Sakura was the closest. Kakashi assumed it was her that had shaken him awake seeing as how her hand was still on his arm.
"Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked worriedly.
Kakashi turned his eyes to her.
"Are you alright?" she asked looking at him closely.
Kakashi was about to ask why when Sasuke spoke.
"You shouted in your sleep that some one stole your kidney." Sasuke explained also examining his mentors face carefully.
Kakashi frowned for a moment. Kidney? Ah yes, Ramen mountain cave. Thank god it was all just a dream. He graced his three students with his best reassuring smile.
"Its fine, just a dream." He said calmly. "Go back to sleep, I'll take over watch until morning."
Sakura thanked him and her and Sasuke headed back to there cots and settled down for the rest of the night. Kakashi pulled out his book and leaned against a tree and began to read. He let out a relieved sigh when he felt eyes on him. He lowered the bridge of his book to peak over it. There in front of him was a crouched Naruto, his blue eyes wide.
"Ramen Mountain?"