A/N: The topic of a diet was suggested to me by XFangHeartX. It's safe to assume I butchered this one, so yeah.

Diet

He had never expected this to happen.

He had never imagine such a dreadful fate could befall him, of all people.

The only forewarning he had had was Kagome's hand resting on his stomach for a while too long after bandaging his wounds the previous day.

And now, he was sitting around the fire with his friends, in Kaede's hut. They all were happily slurping the old miko's stew while he was string at his bowl in bewilderment.

Diced carrots and other vegetables rested there, lonely without the heavy soup or bits of meat. There was a tiny spoonful of rice next to the pile of something that looked suspiciously like grass.

He lifted his eyes to Kagome, his head titling as his ears cocked, completing the puzzled puppy look.

"Kagome...?" he asked. Where was his meat? Why was he denied normal people food? He wasn't a rabbit nor a horse, to live on carrots and grass, damn it!

"What are you waiting for, Inuyasha, dig in," the miko encouraged him kindly.

"Dig in?" he growled and pointed at his bowl. "Do I don't deserve real food anymore? If there's not enough of Kaede's stew I can rat ramen!"

And then Kagome spoke the words that were far worse than any amount of 'sits',

"You won't be eating ramen any time soon, Inuyasha."

And just like this his world shattered.

A distressed whine started in his throat, but he refused to be crestfallen, he refused to give up easily.

"Why? What's wrong with you, wench?" he barked.

"I'm fine," she replied and put a piece of meat from her stew in her mouth. "The problem is with you, buddy."

"What?!" he growled. The rest was just watching, enjoying the show while munching on the stew that smelled like the heavens.

"You need to go on a diet, Inuyasha," Kagome stared. "Unless you want to get fat and round, and..."

"I am not fat!" he exclaimed.

"Your belly says another thing," she smirked a little. "Your clothes hide it well, but recently I found out that you're developing a bit of fat over those abs of yours"

"I don't!" Inuyasha exclaimed.

"I'm partially to blame, introducing you to all those new foods from my time and allowing you to eat too much at once, and almost all of it being junk food."

"You..." Inuyasha growled menacingly. If this wench thought she could keep him away from his food she was sorely mistaken!

"Don't worry, Inuyasha, I know just the diet to get you back to your slim and fit shape," Kagome gave him a reassuring smile. "I did quite a lot of research on this topic. You will have to eat more healthy food and exercise a lot. I know exactly what you have to do."

"Fuck you!"

"In contrast to the common belief, sex isn't the best way to burn calories," Kagome informed him, before she realized what she was actually saying it was already out of her mouth.

"Oh?" Miroku grinned at the pair, who were staring at each other in frozen mortification. "Pray, Kagome, can you share more details..."

He didn't have a chance to finish before both Kagome and Inuyasha fled the hut.