Author's Note: Woot woot! Third installment of Privacy Deprived. Sorry I haven't updated it in awhile. I've been busy, and I really didn't know what should happen next. But thanks to HappeeGoLuckee, I was inspired enough to start a new chapter! That's good for you. Review please, and I'll give you a banana phone! (Er...sorry, that's what I'm listening to right now. I don't even know why. Ring ring ring, banana phone... ding dong ding dong ding, banana phone! It grows in bunches...)
Anyways, yeah, review!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters––at least, I don't think I do. They all belong to Tamora Pierce the goddess. I am merely a worshiper.
Privacy Deprived - Chapter Three
With a disgusted expression on his face, Dom gingerly picked up Raoul's breastplate and sniffed it, immediately regretting the action. "Augh! Doesn't Raoul know of a thing called deodorant?" he yelled rather too loudly––loud enough to attract a certain jousting lord on his way to the privy...
Lord Raoul entered the tent with the silence of a cat and seated himself on one of the chairs in the tent. "Well," he replied in a matter-of-fact manner, making Dom jump with a clatter of armor, "I tried it. I went through about five nobles worth of the stuff in one day."
Dom, panting wildly from the scare, snapped at him, "One would think that at your size, you would make more noise. But you're hardly any normal half-giant, are you?" He glared at the casually sitting, calm knight with sharp blue eyes. "...my lord," he added in a meeker tone of voice.
"At least I don't sneak into tents to do chores," Raoul retorted. "Maybe if you didn't hang up my armor, you wouldn't have to complain about how I don't use deodorant. Ha, what do you say to that, huh?" he asked, very un-lordly. Dom had to smile at that. Raoul relented as well, face softening. "So, sarge, why are you here anyway? Kel's supposed to be doing that job, not you. Or did you decide to give her a favor?" He raised an inquisitive, wiggling eyebrow. (A/N: Haha, I love it when people do that...ahem, back to the story)
The handsome sergeant scratched the back of his head. "Well, about that, milord..." Raoul's eyebrow raised even higher. "...okay, um, well, Kel had to go..." Both of Raoul's eyebrows were up now. "...she had to go...go...go do something." Lord Raoul's eyebrows snapped together, his eyes filled with the look that seemed to say, We both know you're lying...
Dom broke. "Okay, fine, milord, but it's not pretty," he faltered and took a deep shuddering breath, continuing only when his companion stared at him like an owl. "Fine, fine! Lord Raoul," he continued, stalling as much as he could by giving a sweeping bow, "I...I kissed Lady Squire Keladry." Keeping his eyes downward, Dom waited for the backlash he expected to follow.
There was a pause. "Is that all, Dom? Get back up, then." Slowly, the young man unbent.
"What did you say?"
"I said, Is that all, Dom? Get back up, then," he answered patiently. "Look, Dom, we've all known you've had a crush on Kel ever since you met her––"
"What! Even I didn't know that till just now!"
"Well, Dom, you've never been that bright." Raoul grinned at him, who glared in return. "Okay, okay! Just kidding! Anyways. Well, what did she do when you kissed her?"
Dom sat on the floor with a plonk, and dropped his head into his hands. "I thought all was going well," he replied miserably. "But then she walked out on me. No, it wasn't cruel, that isn't Kel. She left because she said she couldn't cheat on Cleon."
Raoul nodded. "That's definitely Kel. Well, you should ask Neal."
Dom's head shot up. "Meathead?" he asked in astonishment.
Amused, Raoul said, "Yes, your cousin Nealan."
"You're kidding me."
"He is her best friend."
Dom sighed. "You're right. Thanks, my lord!" He ran out of the tent, then came back and poked his head in. "Er...you can take care of that armor, can't you, old man? Thanks a lot!" He ran away again before Raoul could even open his mouth.
Sighing, he shook his head and ambled to the armor rack. "Kids," Raoul muttered, and picked up a piece of armor. He sniffed it. "Augh!" he yelled, exactly like Dom had. "Maybe I should put on more deodorant," he said to himself thoughtfully.
-
"You what!"
"I told you, Meathead, I kissed Kel," Dom explained impatiently for the third time. "Look, if you can't help me, I'll just go ask someone else..." He started to head out of the tent, only to be stopped by Neal's hand gripping his arm.
"I can't believe it," his cousin muttered. "I can't believe I'm going to help my cousin and my best friend get together..."
Dom brightened visibly. "You are?"
Neal sighed. "Yes, even though you are even more idiotic than I thought you were before for kissing Kel. You know she wouldn't do that to Cleon, even if your kiss had sent a jolt to her heart. Maybe I should give you brain surgery..."
"No, no," Dom replied hastily. "I understand. You're right. I admit it. I was stupid for doing that. Just––just tell me what I should do!"
"'Kay, here's what you've got to do..." Neal trailed off.
"What! Tell me!"
"Only on one condition."
"Anything!"
"You have to call me 'Your Royal Ingeniousness' for a month, in public and in private."
Dom glared at Neal, who returned the stare with calm green eyes and a smirk on his mouth. Finally, Dom looked down, examining the wrinkles in his callused hands. "I'll do anything," he muttered quietly. "Even that ridiculous bargain. I––I think I love her, Neal."
Neal was astonished, for two reasons: a) that Dom admitted his love for Kel, but mostly b) that Dom had called him by his real name. He cleared his throat. "Okay, Dom, here's what you've gotta do..."
-
Kel sighed. "All I can say, Cleon, is that I'm sorry. I didn't know Dom would get so...so, defensive."
Cleon closed his eyes. "Defensive? Kel, I think he's in love with you."
The girl placed her hands on his hips. "Dom? Dom the flirtatious? Dom, the man all court ladies swoon over? Dom, who always goes for the petite ladies in flouncy pink dresses? I don't think so."
He opened his eyes again. "You're right, Kel. I'm sorry." He placed his hands on her waist. "Please forgive me," he whispered, then kissed her.
Kel smiled beneath his lips and returned the embrace. She twined her hands into his black hair, dreaming about his blue eyes––No! she cried in her mind. No! I'm with Cleon, not Dom, that flirtatious—that flirtatious idiot toying with me! No! Kel broke away and turned from Cleon's concerned eyes, regaining her calm Yamani mask. She turned again.
"I think I'm a little tired, Cleon," she said to his questioning stare. "I'm going back to my room."
-
Author's Note: Wow. Not too shabby. What do you guys think? It's not much like Tamora Pierce's writing...but I hope you like it. Review, and again, I'll give you a banana phone!