Stuck in Reverse

-Ivory Princess-

A/N: I just kind of thought of this as a short scene from "New Moon." There's always so many scenes between Jacob Black and Bella, so I kind of pictured this as just one of the many that never got written... R&R. (I would really appreciate it!)

I could feel his eyes on me…again. Why? I could honestly say I wasn't that pretty. Why couldn't he just go for a girl like Jessica or Angela or Lauren—No, I wouldn't wish him that much misery… I could have been rude… I could have just said: "Jacob, I DO NOT like you like that." But, I didn't want to be mean to him. I couldn't. He was my best friend…

Maybe it was my fault that he expected more. Had I lead him on to believe something? Did I start to act like those clingy girls that were desperate for attention after a really bad breakup? I didn't think so. I mean, aside from the depression mood swings and the occasional tears…

"Um, Bella…are you okay?" Crap! I hadn't realized how long I had paused. I shook my head back into reality and looked at the dark-haired boy beside me. All of a sudden my truck seemed to be getting really, really…stuffy.

"Bella?" Had I not answered?

"Yeah, I'm fine, Jacob…just thinking, is all." I replied with a smile. Did that sound convincing enough? "Sorry…"

"No, it's okay…what are you thinking about?" He asked curiously. Damn it! I thought heatedly. He wasn't supposed to be so concerned! Why couldn't he act like everyone else in the world and just be rude and impolite? Was that so much to ask?

"Oh, um…nothing, really…I was just kind of zoning out. I don't know, golly—er…" Golly! I said it again! "—I mean, gee…" Just as bad.

"Oh," Jacob's voice suddenly grew more serious than before. "If you're thinking about Victoria: don't. I promise you, Bella, Sam and the others aren't going to let anything happen to you. I definitely won't." He slowly put his hand on mine and looked into my eyes.

For a moment, I felt genuinely safe. As he looked into my eyes, I began to wonder again if it would have been so bad... Jacob and...me...

I looked down at our hands and then noticed how his hand engulfed my petite one. It was so masculine. He then followed my eyes and pulled his hand away.

"Sorry, I didn't...I wasn't thinking," He said sheepishly.

"No, it's okay, Jacob..." That was when he looked up at me, eyes wide. "Er...I mean, it's not a bad thing."

"But, you're not interested," Jacob looked away slowly and then out the truck window. "Look, Bella," He looked at me differently: he had frustration reflecting in his eyes. "I'll always be your friend. Always. But, I can't keep going on like I don't like you--"

"No one's asking you to like me!" I snapped. Okay, so maybe that was a little too snappy...

"I know that!" He yelled back. "I'm just saying...it's hard for me. I've liked you since I first saw you...come back...when you first came back...well, you know..." This was the first time I had heard him babble so much.

Before I knew it, I started to scoot closer to him...if that was possible. "Jacob, look," I breathed. "I would be lying if I said that I didn't..."

What are you saying? My heart skipped a beat as I heard the velvet voice echo throughout my head. I shut up immediately and began to listen closely.

Bella...I want you to be happy... It continued.

Then let me, I thought silently. You're the one who's not letting me!

Bella, I know...using him isn't going to make you happy... His voice was so grief-stricken, yet so beautifully soft. More beautiful than I remembered.

"Bella..."

Bella... The voice reprimanded.

"Bella, are you okay?" Jacob shook me as I stared into his eyes once more. "Where'd you go?"

I pressed my lips together as I tried to figure out what his words had told me. "I, um, I'd be lying if I said that I didn't...want...to be your friend." His eyes fell, defeated. "Because, I do."

"Yeah, I kind of caught on to that everytime you pulled away when I touched you." He said softly.

"I didn't mean to," I said defensively.

Jacob gave me a knowing look and replied, "Yes, you did... but it's okay, Bells."

I looked out my own window, embarrassed to face him.

"You should go, though, Sam and I have to go patrol the woods and make sure everything is okay." He said, almost eager for me to leave.

"Oh, okay," I opened up the passenger door to my truck and he exited out of the driver's side. We both met in front of the truck and stared at each other. Awkwardly.

"So, I guess, I'll see you later," Jacob turned his back and began to walk away.

"Jacob?" I called after him quickly. He turned to face me and was met with a hug. "Thank you..." I breathed quietly as held onto him.

"For what?" He seemed shocked that I was even touching him.

"For just...being here..." I squeezed him tightly and then abruptly let go.

"No problem, Bella, I told you before, I'll always be here." He said with a friendly grin. For a moment, his grin almost reminded me of...

No... This time it was my voice reprimanding me. Don't hurt yourself...Don't. "Good," Was all I managed.

I watched him walk away with a small smile. I turned on my heels and walked into my empty house, blocking my thoughts of him as I shut the door.