NEW YEARS 1984

Ennis sits back and relaxes against the bench seat enjoying the ride of his sparkling new F-150 Ford pickup as he crosses the state line into Colorado. In his 39 years he has never yet set foot in Colorado, only other states visited were Idaho and parts of Montana. It's Thursday December 29th and Ennis is meeting up with Jack at a cabin Jack rented in the Gunnison National Forest, to talk about maybe what lies ahead for them. Ennis still feel a tug of nervousness at the thought. Passing a road sign measuring 81 miles to Fort Collins Ennis thinks back at a conversation he had the day before during a shared lunch with his friend and fellow ranch hand Andy.

"Ennis…I was just wondering…I…I'm my Aunt….are you……

"What is it Andy …Somethin' I c'n do fer you?"

"Ennis…you see my……I was…Your friend that got your new truck. Are you and him….I'm meant it ain't none of my business….and I 'd never even ask…..It's just that……well my Aunt Susan…she lost her husband a few years ago …Fell of his tractor when he was ah diskin' , he was only about 36 I think "

Ennis looks back wide eyed, thinking he and Jack are both now 39.

"Well…Her kids are nearly growed now…an I thought that…I know your divorced…..and you such a good man, been so good at me and my family…..I just thought that you and her ….but if…your….I mean if you and…."

Ennis feels his breath leave him stares back with a horrified look.

Andy seeing he has caused his good friend distress, puts his arm around Ennis's shoulder. "I'm sorry Ennis, never meant at get ya upset, don't matter none to me er Rita. Wouldn't never say anything at no one…It's ok ….really Ennis…me 'n my wife 'n kids think the word of you, would never do nothing' at cause ya harm…The other guys at the ranch think ya saved fer at least the last ten years fer that truck, workin' hard as ya do….no one thinks nuttin'. It's ok…..Ennis… just thought maybe my Aunt….I'm sorry I upset ya….If ya'd rather I'll never ask ….I won't….."

Ennis slowly gathering himself managed to pull out. "…Guess that' ll be best…if ya didn't…your Aunt …I mean."

"Just…Rita…ya know how women are…always wantin' at play matchmaker….want …people to be as happy as we are……me too I guess….."

"I ….I think I am…." Ennis said almost under his breath. Andy smiles at Ennis, claps him on the back.

"Don't you worry about Rita none……just cause she married a cowboy when she was 17 don't mean she don't know the ways of folks. I can't tell ya how highly she thinks if ya. And Ennis…You be sure when Jack Twist is in town at have 'm and you come fer dinner."

A few hours later, with hand written directions from Jack spread out on the seat Ennis is threading his way thru a labyrinth of dirt roads on the final stretch leading him to Jack. Still with very mixed feelings of apprehension for what may lay ahead this year, yet strangely comforted by Andy's words. And then finally coming to a clearing in the woods Ennis sees a fair size log cabin, dark stained logs with light green trim, smoke from the chimney rising above the trees, Jack's pickup parked near the front door. Jack as always there ahead of time, waiting ready to greet him. As the truck comes to a halt, the door opens , Ennis sees Jack's beaming smile all fears, anxiety are all but forgotten. Ennis bolts from his pickup nearly knocks Jack down in a body slam, holding onto each other in a fierce embrace, tears spilling from both.

"Missed ya so much bud" Ennis said squeezing even harder.

"Missed ya to cowboy…thought maybe ya wouldn't show….you know might….."

"No way…..wouldn't miss seeing ya….nothing would keep……" Ennis feels a tear from Jack roll down in own neck into his collar, can no longer speak.

After a few minutes the pair pulls slightly apart resting forehead to forehead, looking so close the tears are not in focus, yet this time absent of shame. Ennis reaches over to Jack's face caressing is cheek ever to gently, then flips his hat off clawing the top of head .

"O yeah?…..whoa…." Jack takes Ennis's arm pulls him to the thick carpet of pine needles covering the ground near the driveway. The two wrestle moving toward a large open patch of snow left from storms earlier in the month, disturbing a large area of the prefect smooth snow cover.

"Hey Ennis…yer not a gonna throw me 'nother punch er ya?"

"Long as ya don't knee me in the kisser again." both burst out laughing so hard they can't move.

"Ya wanna make snow angels."

Ennis laughing. "The two of us is hardly angels and 'sides we just ruined all the good snow."

Jack smiling back. "Alright then….better get inside…need to stoke the fire…go on get you stuff."

"I got somin' ya can stoke."

"Ennis! ….eerrrrrr."

Ennis turns a bit red.

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Noon the next day found Jack and Ennis in the kitchen preparing a lunch of homemade chili, simmering all morning, fresh corn bread with honey butter, leafy green Cesar salad with a few beers to wash it all down.. Having yet to venture outside on this day the boys still managed to build up health appetite.

"Sure is ah nice place ya got fer us Jack, has everything."

"Yep, lots a places ta camp in these her mountains in the summer too."

"Looks like were all ready, let's et."

The boy eat heartily in comfortable silence enjoying one another, the meal. Plates nearly empty, bowels nearly licked clean, basket of bread empty, Jack looks to Ennis sitting across from him at the wooden table. "So Ennis ….Ya thinking…about….a you know…."

Ennis looking back at Jack clinches up, bits his lower lip moves his blue jean covered leg against Jack's breathing unsteadily. "…Uh….I was ….thinking that…….with Alma Jr. already eighteen and Jenny will be …next year…that……." Ennis is have trouble getting the words out.

Jack takes his hands hold them tightly. "It ok Ennis …go on…ya can say anything at me."

"It's just that….If ya still want…ya know I sure like being with ya like this…mebe we still…still could have…"

"Ennis…your shaking…Just relax…" Jack holds on to Ennis 's arms tightly. "It's ok…come here"

Jack stands up takes Ennis holds him, then walks him over to a large overstuffed couch sits them down. arms wrapped around him.

"So…so are ya say…are ya saying that ya wanna….ya wanna mebe have a…." Now Jack is biting his lip, uncertain in his voice. "You…you wanna …ranch up together?" Jack looking at Ennis intently, afraid of the answer.

Ennis shaking leans forward looks down still biting his lip nods what Jack has wished for most.

"But it still scares you don't it, yer still 'fraid cause of what ya saw when…" Jack holding on to Ennis, thankful for this lifeline.

Ennis nods his head yes, eyes shut glistening.

"But ya still want to…don't ya Ennis" Jack maintaining his grip.

Ennis nods again. "Uh Huh….."

Jack unable to hide his excitement. "Ennis….Ennis it will be ok, we c'n be together….watch out fer each other, we'll be ok. I's thinking 'bout us gettin' a place east of Denver, folks lot more acceptin' there, not like Wyoming er Montaina, you'll be close at visit yer daughters anytime ya want. Say ya will Ennis…please. Start lookin' soon, day after New Years if ya want."

Ennis wants more than anything to believe this. "….Ok…I'm just scared something' 'll happen at ya."

"And I sure don't want nuttin' at happen at ya….Ennis we'll be ok…long as were together…you rest your mind now…hear?"

The two remained encircled on the couch for considerable time, cheek to cheek Jack stroking Ennis's head, in a voice barely above a whisper, talking of the ranches in Colorado, how big a spread they would have, the sweet life, just them together, able to wake up every day next to each other, both enjoying the protective blissful entanglement. After a time Jack begin to stir.

"Come on Ennis we got some dishes at do, get yourself up."

"Only if ya help me up Jack"

Jack pulls Ennis up holding on to both arms. "Got plans fer you this afternoon boy!"

"Oh yeah… and just what do ya have in mind Mr. Jack Twist…Huh?"

"You'll see Mr. Del Mar and ya won't be disappointed neither!"

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"NO…NO, NO! Come back here. NO!"

Jack is awakened in pitch darkness to Ennis flailing his arm and legs gyrating in violent motions in their bed.

" JACK…NO…NO!…..NOOOOOOOOO!"

Jack trying his best to calm Ennis is rewarded for his efforts with a punch in the face. "ENNIS!…Wake Up!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Jack finally manages to get his arms around Ennis pinning his arms holding on to him with all his strength as he tosses uncontrollably rolling out of bed into a heap of twisted sheets and bedding on the hard floor. Still shaking Ennis's face wet in tears, body wet with sweat.

"ENNIS! Wake up!" Jack gently shook Ennis, feeling his own nose start to bleed. "Ennis…Ennis its ok….You were having a dream…..Wake up its ok…"

"Jack….Jack they got you…..JACK!" Ennis sobbing , tears flowing.

"Its alright Ennis I right here with ya, Were in Colorado, were safe bud….I'm right here holdin' on ta ya….won't let go. Just had a bad dream, that's all." Jack nuzzling Ennis's wet face, arms remaining locked around him.

"Jack…they came after you…..they took you….took you away…..from……" Ennis between dreams and reality talking between sharp breaths.

"Shhhhhh…shhhhhhh….'s alright….right here…nothing's gonna happen……shhhhhh." Jack pressing his face against Ennis's.

Ennis become almost wide awake, encased in the warmth of Jack, squeezes the forearms griped tightly on him. "Jack… they came ….I couldn't…." Ennis sobbed.

"Shhhh……Ennis we'll always be alright, nobody ever mess with us…ya just had a bad dream. Always be here with ya….Shhhh…try to go back to sleep, your safe here with me bud. Mmmmmmmmm……mmmmmm…..mmmmm"

Jack feels Ennis go limp, his breathing becoming even.. Releasing his grip Jack eases out from under Ennis, rises, turns on a light in the adjoining bathroom. Finding an extra comforter in the chest at the foot of the bed covers Ennis. Then gathering fresh sheets and pillow cases as well, proceeds to make up the bed, careful not to step on Ennis. Bed made with soft flannel sheet Jack untangles Ennis out of the bedding he was twisted in and tossing it out of sight, carefully picked Ennis up laying him down on his side in their bed and then, lights out crawling in behind Ennis engulfing his body around him.

Ennis awakes from a deep sleep, sunrise lighting up their room, shadows of the trees on the walls, Jack's hand resting on his chest, looking back at him as he focused. He sees the blood, dried on Jack face. "Wha…what the hell happened at you?" Ennis asked, with a quizzical look in his face

Jack smiling back, had been savoring in the sight of Ennis in slumber. "Whadda yer mean?"

"Your face…all bloody…look like ya went out an got in a bar fight."

"You don't….remem…I…I went an took a piss in the middle of the night, hit the bed post on the way back."

"Jack F….g Twist you always were the biggest klutz I ever knowed." Ennis grinned back. "Come on let's get yer mug cleaned up. Ain't a gonna be kissin' no one with a bloody face."

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As the clock approached 12.00 New Years Eve, high up in the Colorado Rockies, under brilliant starlit sky, in a fine log cabin with two pickups outside, surrounding trees reaching to the heavens, a bedroll laid out on the floor before the fire, two men in just their skin with more than twenty years behind them, touch face to face, raise a glass toasting to the years that are before them.