*Author's Note*

Thank you for all the follows, favs, and reviews.

4th of July, 1882 Pt. 1

Allie POV:

It was the 4th of July and the festival was being held in West Virginia this year. Like every year, the festival grounds were decorated with patriotic banners ribbons, and silk bunting. This year tho it seemed that a heavy tension filled the atmosphere and that it was coming from the McCoys. Ever since Tolbert got murdered by Shaw, the McCoys have been on edge and moody at every event or even during a trip to town. Randall was the worst since all he did was drown his sorrows into a bottle. Perry Cline was proably scheming by the slick look on his face. Nancy McCoy, my shrew of a sister-in-law, had a permanent piss-face and gazed evilly at any Hatfield that crossed her path (including me). What my brother saw in that woman I'd never know.

A fresh and unexpected face at the festival was Nova Landon-Brooksdale and her husband Senator Brooksdale, along with their two children (a boy and a girl). It was clear to anyone with working ears and eyes that the senator was using the 4th of July gathering as a campaigning event. The man was standing on his soap box going on and on dramatically about how he'd be the people's voice of Pike County, Kentucky in the senate if he was reelected (for the third time). With Senator Billings gave his speeches, Nova was spending time with her father, Brenton, and was letting him play doting grandpa to her kids. I also noticed how she gave her condolences to the McCoys and how she spent a few moments with Roseanna and Johnse.

I was with Vera and our baby girls since our husbands took our boys off to watch some shooting gallery. It was more or less a display and demonstration of the many models of Colts and Winchesters that were on sale. The true shooting contest wouldn't be held until the Election Day Festival this fall. I knew that my husband would enter it since the history book said as much. He'd also win, but not without the McCoys accusing him of cheating.

"How long do ya think he's gonna be able to play dotin' daddy for wit' that baby?" Vera asked, gesturing to where Shaw was at talkin' to Uncle Jim with Endor slung on his hip, as we slowly walked around with our own babies attached to our hips.

"I dunno, but I don't think it'll be too long since that boy's a spittin' image of you know who."

"Mhm…" Vera hummed before admitting, "I couldn't agree more." She looked between me and Shaw before saying, "I don't know why Jessa's with him, 'specially since that baby ain't his. You'd think she'd want to keep that boy 'way from that monster, not let him close to him."

"I know, Vera. I feel the same way." I told my friend as she passed by Shaw and Uncle Jim. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Shaw cutting a look at us while tightenin' his hold on Endor.

"At least Olga got away from him, despite losin' her child."

"Yea, at least our dear friend managed to escape his blackhearted ass." I nodded in agreement, my voice turning into a bitter snap at the last two words of my sentence. After a few moments of silence, I honestly sighed, "Jessa loves Lydia as her own, but it's still sad that Lydia was torn from Olga."

"At least the little girl has Jessa. If she only had Shaw, well…I don't even wanna think 'bout the kinda life she'd be livin'."

"Most likely a miserable one since he's a hateful bastard." I bluntly told my friend as we made out way towards some quilt booths.

"Rightfully so."

Jessa POV:

I was sitting on a blanket with Silas and Lydia after buying them some cherry pastries to eat. As they gobbled down their treats, I watched the scenery before me. Women were gossiping, walking side by side with their elbows linked as they looked at arts and crafts in the various booths while children ran around playing different games and buying candy. The men were congregating at the whiskey carts (buying the homemade moonshine), hanging around the gun dealer's booth, and just standing around in random places bullshitting and drinking. Of course, families were scattered about on both sides of the venue (separated by Billy McCoy's whiskey cart and Johnse Hatfield's) doing things such as spending time together, eating, and visiting with friends.

I was so engrossed by watching my surroundings that I never noticed my husband coming up to the blanket. Well, not until he took a seat next to me and kissed my cheek. "Hey babe." His deep timbre rung out after his lips left my cheek.

Turning to him, I smiled, "Hey honey."

"See ya got the kids some pastries." Shaw told me, gesturing to Silas and Lydia eating their cherry treats with a nod of his head, while placing Endor on the blanket.

"Yea, they were hungry." I replied, earning me a nod from my husband. "So, how was your talk with Uncle Jim?"

"Good." Shaw simply answered. "I left when dad showed up with Brenton."

"Yea, I don't blame you." I told him since I too didn't trust Brenton Landon. That man was playing both sides of the feud and caused a lot of drama in my life, Shaw's life, and the life of countless others by giving out half-facts and false-truths.

"Brenton gave me a weird look when he saw Endor. As if he couldn't believe I was holdin' him." Shaw admitted in an unnerved tone.

"Shaw, you and I both know why he gave you that look." I told him, tilting my head towards our ginger haired 7-month-old that was crawling around the blanket.

"I know, baby, I know." Shaw sighed, as our older kids finished up their cherry pastries.

Silas, having just noticed his dad's presence, greeted him with a beaming smile. "Hi, daddy. Mommy gave us cherry pastries."

"Hey, buddy." Shaw smiled back at Silas. "Yea, I saw that you and your sister were eating them when I sat down."

Lydia didn't say one word to Shaw, just looked at him before poking Silas and sayin', "Let's play."

"Silas, stay where we can see you." I told my son, giving him and Lydia permission to play a couple of feet away on an open piece of grass.

"And stay away from McCoys!" Shaw called out to our kids, from over his shoulder, as they ran off to go play. I didn't say a word, just shook my head at my husband's words. Of course, my husband would tell our kids to stay away from McCoys. I wouldn't expect anything else from the man.

My husband stiffened up next to me and his neck craned. "Sonuva bitch…" He swore under his breath, causing me to direct my attention to what he was looking at. To my horror I saw Mary about a yard away from Billy's shine wagon and she was talking to him. Hell, they weren't just talking, but were laughing and grinning from ear to ear. "Hell, I warned her 'bout bein' 'round that fucker." Shaw gritted out thru his teeth as he stood to his feet.

Oh no, he was going to go break them up. It wasn't going to be pretty either. As Shaw stormed off, Endor tried to crawl after him which caused me to grab him and hold him tight. All I could do was hold Endor and watch Silas and Lydia while they played nearby. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't save Mary and Billy from Shaw's wrath. They were going to be embarrassed or worse, Billy was going to get his teeth knocked down his throat.

Shaw POV:

"What the fuck's this, Mary!?" I roared as I stormed over to my sister and Billy McCoy. My sister at least had the sense to look scared, but Billy just had this smug look on his face. The lil shit was taunting me and my authority over my sister. Since I didn't get an answer, I probed, "Hmm? I asked what the fuck's this shit, Mary?", as I came to a stop in front of my sister and that redhead McCoy she was with.

"He's telling me a joke." Mary had the sand to say while giving me a sheepish look.

"I thought I told you to stay away from him?" I rhetorically asked my sister before turning my angry amber-honey gaze onto Billy and snappin', "And you, ya fuckin' piece of shit, you stay away from my sister."

"We're friends, Mr. Eldridge, and the last I checked this was a free country an' I can be friends wit' whoever I wanna be friends wit'." Billy retorted with a shit eat grin. Dear god, this boy was Tolbert's mini me. Acted just like that ginger fuck.

"Oh, you ain't bein' friend with my sister. Unless you want to end up like your brother, Tolbert, you'll leave Mary the hell alone."

"I ain't scared of no closet drunk." The auburn-haired prick spat at me, causin' me to see red. Who the fuck told him I was a closet drunk?

"Billy…" My sister chastised her 'friend' in a whisper. One so low that I barely heard it, but I did hear it and knew why she was chastisin' him. She was the one that told him I'm a closet drunk. What the fuck?

"You bitch, you told him I'm a closet drunk. How could you tell such a lie 'bout me? Hmm?"

"It ain't a lie, mister. I see signs as sure as day that yer a bad drinker, but just good at hidin' it." Billy told me while at the same time Mary said, "I didn't tell him any lies, Shaw. I swear."

"You stay away from my sister!" I ordered Billy in a shout. Rounding onto my sister, I grabbed her by the upper arm and said, "Since you don't wanna listen and wanna run 'round with McCoys I'm draggin' your ass home."

"You can't do that! I didn't do nothin' wrong!" Mary cried out in protest as she dug her heels into the ground, makin' it hard to drag her away from Billy.

"I can and I will do it cause you were wrong, Mary. You went against my orders and consorted with Billy McCoy even tho you knew I didn't want you anywhere near that fucker."

"He's not a fucker, you are!" Mary spat at me, takin' me aback. First off, I didn't like hearing that word come out of my 11-year-old sister's mouth and second off, I didn't like that she was defendin' that 13-year-old dick by callin' me a fucker. As if it couldn't get any worse, my sister lashed out at me by screamin', "I wish you were dead instead of mommy! She would let me be Billy's friend, unlike you! I wished you never came home, then mommy'd still be alive cause she worried herself t'death thinkin' that Tolbert was gonna kill you over Jessa even tho that was vice versa!" What the fuck? She wished I was dead, wanted our mom back, and blamed me for our mom's death… "I hate you!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, eliciting an amused chuckle out of Billy (who was still nearby).

Before I could even think, I quickly raised by hand up in the air and brought it down across my sister's face in a loud backhanded slap that echoed throughout the air. "You lil bitch, don't ya dare say that shit to me! I didn't have to raise you, but I did, you ungrateful brat!" I shouted at me sister as she held her red cheek, her eyes wide with shock. "Next time I catch you with the McCoy he's dead and your ass is out of here. Now let's go." I told her before draggin' her off towards the picnic blanket my wife was sitting at with our son, no doubt watchin' the scene between me and my sister.

Mary POV:

I dared a quick glance over my shoulder at Billy, only to see him givin' me a sad look full of empathy. The look in his blue eyes made me feel like I wasn't alone, that he knew how it was to be yelled at and hit by a closet drunk.

Billy POV:

Goddamnit, Shaw was off his rocker. He hit his sister for tellin' him the truth. Hell, I don't blame her for wishin' her brother an' mama could trade places. I wouldn't wanna live in a house wit' that bad drunk neither. Hell, he's as mean as poppy when he's drunk. Oh, and even tho Shaw was slurrin' his words or stumblin' 'round he was drunk. I could smell the likker rollin' off his breath wit' every word he spoke.

When Mary turned her head to give me a quick look, her eyes were so dull an' full of unshed tears. I just gave her a sad half-smile, lettin' her know that I understood her pain. I understood how it felt t'live wit' a bad drunk.

God, I swear, when we're old 'nough I'm gettin' her outta that house. Only lord knows how meaner an' drunker Shaw'll get in time. Mary's too nice an' sweet to be trapped in such a hell house. Since she's my friend, I'm gonna help her get 'way from her crazy family.

Jessa POV:

The ride home was very tense, to say the least. Todd was pissed that he had to leave while Silas and Lydia were upset that they couldn't stay for fireworks. Mary was sulking in the wagon while holding her cheek, which I'm sure was stinging like a bitch from that slap heard 'round the world she received from Shaw. I don't condone hitting children, but when she was screaming at my husband, she was loud and I heard (actually everyone nearby heard) the hurtful things she told him. I know she was angry and upset and being caught with Billy, but Mary should've never screamed the things she did at Shaw. Especially since my husband hasn't been right after shooting Tolbert down dead back in January.

Talk about Shaw, well, he was furious as he drove us home. He was chewing on the inside of his cheek as he snapped the reigns, urging the horses to pull the wagon faster down the road. He didn't dare take his eyes off the dirt road either. His honey eyes were still flaming angry amber as he let a snort or grunt out every so often. All I did was hold Endor in my lap, soothing him by rubbing his back to keep him calm so he wouldn't pick up on his daddy's bad mood.

I'm sure the blow out between Billy, Shaw, and Mary's currently the biggest gossip topic at the festival since everyone (and I mean everyone) saw it and saw us leave too. God, I can only imagine the things people are saying. I'm sure the Hatfields are saying a few negative things, things I'm certain I'll find out once Uncle Jim pays us a visit since that crochety old goats the biggest gossiper I know. Hell, he's worse than a bunch of old church bitties.

"Go straight to your room and no readin' or sewin'." Shaw ordered Mary as he pulled our wagon to a stop in front of the house.

Mary didn't say a word, just scrambled down from the wagon and rushed over to the house. "Hell, she would ruin our day by runnin' 'round with Billy McCoy.' Todd grumbled as he climbed out of the wagon.

"Not another word out of you. Ya hear me, Thaddeus?" Shaw sternly told Todd as he helped Silas and Lydia out of the wagon while I handed him Endor so I could get down.

"I hear ya." Todd told Shaw before bringing the kids over to the house.

"Do you want me to have a talk with Mary?" I asked Shaw, taking Endor from him so that he'd be able to get out of the wagon.

"I wouldn't talk to her til tomorrow. It'd just go in one ear and out the other right now, babe." He told me as he climbed down from the wagon.

"Okay." I simply nodded. "Do you want to talk?" I asked as we made our way over to the front porch.

"Yea. Let's go to our room and talk." Shaw told me, taking me by surprise since I didn't think he'd actually accept my offer to talk.

Quietly, we walked up the porch and over to the front door. When we stepped inside of the house, I noticed that Todd was sitting in the corner of the main room with Silas and Lydia, playing with some toys. He heard us come in and looked over his shoulder at us. Todd didn't say a word, just watched us as we walked across the main room, into the kitchen, and to our room.

Once we entered our room, I put Endor down in his crib while Shaw took a seat on our bed. When I turned away from the crib and went over to join Shaw, I saw that he was running a hand thru his long golden-brown hair in a frustrated gesture. Sitting down next to him, I placed my hand gently, but tentatively on Shaw's shoulder. I didn't say a word, instead just leaving it up to him to start talking.

Shaw took a deep, but shaky breath. He ran his hand down his face and sighed, "I hit her, Jessa. I just lost it and hit Mary."

"I know, Shaw." I rubbed his shoulder. Giving him a sympathetic look, I told him, "I don't condone it, but I know why you did it. You were hurt by what she said."

Shaw's honey eyes were dull as they locked onto his hand, his right hand which was the one that slapped Mary's face. His chest heaved up and down as he said in a mortified tone, "I swore I'd never hit my kids, Jessa. I swore I'd never be like my father, like Peter, but I turned 'round and did just what he'd do if he was screamed at; told somethin' he didn't like."

"You didn't hit your kids, Shaw. You hit your sister. You're not like Peter, even tho you hit Mary." I told Shaw, rubbing his arm soothingly, in an attempt to get him out of his stupor. The last thing I needed was his mind all twisted up.

"Same thing since I've been raisin' her since mom died." He sighed, shaking his head at me. "God, Peter was this mean drunk that beat the shit out of us and I swore I'd never be like him. Never, but turns out I'm capable of bein' him."

"No, you're not, Shaw. You're nothing like that man so please, stop beating yourself up over it."

"I'll stop beating myself up over hitting Mary when you stop beating yourself up over Tolbert's death."

"What?" I asked, finding my husband's declaration a bit much. How did he know I still felt a bit guilty over Tolbert, especially whenever I saw any McCoys.

"Babe, I know you've been blamin' yourself over me killin' Tolbert in a jealous rage. You've been doin' it since I came home with his blood on my hands, but you don't have to. His death's on me, not you."

"Doesn't feel like it. If it wasn't for me going back and forth between you two he'd be alive. Hell, Sally told me to go back to you when I was a month pregnant with Silas or else Tolbert would die, but I didn't listen."

"Sally havin' a vision of me gunnin' down her son's not on you, it's on me. You didn't do anything, I did, so stop blamin' yourself."

I nodded. Cracking a slight smile, I told him, "I'll stop the self-blame if you do, Shaw."

"Reckon I'll have to let it go, huh?" My husband asked me, giving me a

"Reckon so, but please don't start breaking out in song. That Frozen theme was so annoying."

"I promise, babe, I won't sing Let It Go." Shaw assured me with a smirk.

"You know, if you truly want to let go of your guilt over thinking you're turning into Peter then maybe you should tell me about him. It might make you feel better; lessen your burdens too." I suggested to my husband, hoping that he'd listen to me and bare his soul in order to feel better.

"If I tell you about my father then you have to tell me about your parents." Shaw countered, most likely as a dare or a way to get out of having to talk about his childhood.

"Okay, I can do that." I nochdded, agreeing to his terms. I had no problem talking about my parents. I knew they were messed up, that my 'perfect' childhood wasn't as perfect as onlookers thought. It was Shaw that needed help talking about his past.

"We'll start our fucked up homemade therapy tonight. Right now, I just need to calm the fuck down; get a drink." He sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly.

"Okay, but I don't think you really need a drink." I told him, needing him to know that I didn't approve of the drinking.

"Yes, I do, baby. I just need a drink to settle my nerves." Shaw protested in a quick whine.

"Fine, but don't overdo it." I relented, knowing that I couldn't win the battle of the booze against my husband.

"I won't, babe." Shaw assured me before rising from the bed and walking out of the door. I sighed, knowing that by time I followed him out into the kitchen he'd already be sitting in his armchair pouring himself a glass of whiskey.

Well, looks like instead of watching fireworks tonight I'll be listening to my husband talk about his father and how hard his childhood was before he went off to live with his real dad, Sully.

AN:

I know, this was a bit dramatic and angsty. I'll be finishing up the 4th of July stuff in the next chapter.