AN: Like all of my stories, this tends to defy two-category labelling. Please keep in mind, as you read, that it's supposed to be funny too, hence the slightly over the top-ness of some of the behavior.

Chapter Eight

Her nap at the SGC had not revived her enough to stay up all night, especially since she refused to do anything besides stare at the baby. There was an entire list of things she needed to do, pre-baby, on the fridge, but she was glued to the edge of the couch, afraid to take her eyes off the baby. She wondered how Jack could have gone to sleep, leaving his newborn daughter in the care of quite possibly the most inept hands in the galaxy.

Unlike the rest of society, Carter felt no compulsion to try to hold every baby she encountered. Unlike all of her teenage friends, Carter hadn't even wanted to baby-sit. She didn't even think most babies were cute, except for her own. She'd seen her niece and nephew, had even visited them when they were very young, but she'd never been alone with a child under ten. She desperately wanted to hold her daughter, but she looked at the perfect pale skin and delicate body and she was too afraid to do anything beyond stare. Most women had time to get used to the idea of having a baby. And Carter decided that, had she been given nine months to feel as anxious as she did to hold her baby, it would have been enough time to get over her insecurity.

She braved glancing at her watch, only to discover that Jack had only been asleep for an hour. It was going to be an unbearably long night. She turned back to the baby. Carter cursed herself for having looked away because the baby's eyes were wide open and she didn't look particularly pleased with her lot in life. It seemed like it was happening in slow motion as her face crumbled and she started to wail. Carter tried shushing her. Carter tried talking to her. Carter even tried singing to her. The baby continued to cry. She tried giving her a bottle, but the baby wasn't the slightest bit interested. She even tried changing her diaper, since she didn't have to lift her from the bassinette to do so. But it didn't help. Her child was screaming and she had no idea what the baby needed.

Finally, in a psychosis induced by unrelenting screams of a baby, Carter ran for her life, crashing through the door to the spare bedroom in a heavy-handed manner that instantly reminded her why she was afraid to pick up the baby. She grabbed Jack's bare shoulder, not even noticing that her nails were digging into his flesh or that she was getting her happy little fantasy of Jack without his shirt.

"Jack! Wake up!"

He pried her hand off his shoulder. "Damn it, Carter. What time is it? What are you doing here?"

"This is my house."

He sat up and looked around. "Oh, yeah. What's wrong?"

She had no idea how he could ask that, considering the deafening cries. "The baby, Jack. She's crying. Get up and fix her!"

He lay back down, laughing. "She's not broken, Carter. She's a baby."

Hearing her baby's cries, feeling helpless, and being laughed at rendered Carter near hysterical. "She's crying, Jack. I don't know what to do. You can't just let her cry! She's your daughter too."

Jack rolled over, blinking the last bit of sleep from his eyes. "Bring her here."

Carter sprinted to the door before remembering she couldn't bring the baby to Jack. Not without draying the bassinette down the hall. "Uh, Jack?" She didn't want to say it. It was too embarrassing. It was too obvious to even need mentioning.

Jack seemed to understand finally. He stood up, grabbed Carter's hand, and dragged her down the hall. "Come here, Carter."

"Like I have a choice." She was referring to the tight grip he had on her hand, but mentally, she knew she wasn't going anywhere as long as he was shirtless. Knowing he was going to comfort the baby, she was able to relax, nearly starting to drool at the strong muscles that rippled when he moved. Luckily, she was saved from totally embarrassing herself when the cries shifted into a screech. It completely distracted her from her eye candy and she immediately felt guilty for even thinking of anything else.

He let go of her when they reached the end of the hallway. He sat on the couch and patted the cushion beside him. "Here, Carter."

"What am I, your dog?" She thought being rude might help disguise the desire and accompanying shame in her eyes.

"You're learning how to pick her up."

"Now?" It was the middle of the night. She was tired. She wondered if she needed to take notes.

"Yes, now, unless you can stand to listen to her cry."

"God, no." Humbled by his words, Carter sunk down into the seat beside him. "I'm afraid."

Jack smiled at her. "She can't bite until she has teeth, Carter."

"I'm afraid I'll break her."

He probably would have laughed if he hadn't been so tired. "You're not going to break her. You don't break things."

She closed her eyes, images of the ruined lab bench and the explosion that morning and repeated other screw-ups floating through her mind. She hung her head. "I break things all the time. I just don't always own up to it."

Jack contemplated her for a long time while he rocked the bassinette gently. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that." He scooted forward and reached out his arms. "Here, like this." With barely any effort, the baby was safely cradled against him. "See? She's not broken."

"How do you know?"

"She's still crying." His words were accurate; the baby was still crying, though not nearly as loud.

"And how is that a sign she's not broken?" Carter would have thought that happy, healthy babies didn't scream loud enough to wake the dead.

"It's a sign she wants to be held, Carter. Here." He stretched the baby out toward her.

"No." She wanted to hold the baby, but she didn't want to upset her. "You got her to quiet down a little. You probably shouldn't move her."

"I'm right here, Carter. You won't hurt her." Jack's eyes held hers, making it clear that he wasn't about to fall for her excuses.

Carter's arms were shaking as she reached out, accepting Jack's guidance of how to support the baby's head and how to make sure her arm wouldn't fall asleep at the same time. She was still shaking as she pulled the baby against her chest, trying to comfort the persistent cries. "She's so tiny." Tall or not, Carter was not exactly an imposing person physically, but her skinny arms still dwarfed the baby.

And amazingly, the baby looked up at her, offered that same expression she had earlier that Carter could have sworn was a smile, and stopped crying.

Jack shifted around, completely unnoticed by Carter, until he was sitting behind her. He leaned forward, wrapping his arms around both of them. "She needs us to protect her."

Flashes of all the things she'd seen in her life, with the Stargate, in the military pestered the perfect moment. "She'd probably be better off with someone else."

His face pressed against hers and his arms tightened the slightest bit. "No, Carter. We're here parents. There's nowhere safer for her."

"She's not crying anymore." She turned toward Jack, amazed to discover how very close he was.

"I told you she just wanted to be held." His eyes danced as he teased and Carter knew he meant her as well.

Nervous, she looked back at her daughter, who was drifting back to sleep. "And you're sure she's not broken?" Carter felt the rumble of his laughter against her back.

"I never thought I'd see the day Samantha Carter was insecure."

"I don't mind being responsible for the fate of all of civilization in the universe, Jack, but this is harder. This is scary."

"Yeah, I know." The harsh tone of his voice revealed exactly where his mind had gone at her words - to Charlie.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean-" Carter heard herself babbling, but she couldn't stop. They never discussed his son. They never discussed anything touchy and emotional. He refused to talk about things that hurt and she didn't try to make him.

"It's ok, Carter. You're supposed to be protective of her. If I were you, I wouldn't let me near her."

Carter shook her head, wanting to reach for Jack and keep him from hurting, but her hands were full. She had to rely on her words, so she chose them carefully. "She would be a million times better off with you, Jack."

"My track record's not so great." His arms released her and he carefully extricated himself from them.

"Jack, please. It was an accident. I know that. You know that. It won't happen again." She turned to face him, holding his eyes until he looked away.

"No, it won't." He glanced back at her, anger and pain flashing in his eyes. "We're baby-proofing the house in the morning."

The thought of Jack plugging the outlets with plastic covers warmed her heart and she had to smile. "We should probably decide which house she's living in first."

His expression fell as he looked at her and she could see the moment it sunk in that they weren't together. "She should be with you. Mothers are important."

"So are fathers. You loved her from the moment you saw her. You know what you're doing. I think she should stay with you." It killed her to say it, it killed her to think it, but she didn't want to imagine the misery she'd put a baby through waiting for her to figure out what to do.

Jack swallowed hard and carefully avoided Carter's eyes. "Maybe we should stay together for a while. You know, just until she's settled."

The idea made her heart leap. The idea that Jack said it first nearly made her heart leap right out of her chest. She decided to play it cool and prayed her pounding heart wouldn't wake the baby. "Think they'll let us?"

"I don't see how they can stop us as long as we're on leave." He smiled as he leaned back, stretching out and patting his side for Carter to join him.

She kept her eyes glued to the baby as she snuggled into Jack's hold. "If we're moving in together, however temporarily, and we're going to raise this baby together, Jack-"

"We should probably give her a name."

"Exactly."

Jack nuzzled his face into her neck. "Can we decide that in the morning?"

"Is she safe like this?" The baby was settled between them, but Carter wasn't sure how still all three of them could possibly be.

"She's fine. Go to sleep, Carter."

"Are you sure?"

"You have the neurotic mother thing down so soon."

"So you're sure?"

He chuckled as he kissed her cheek. "Yes, Carter. I'm sure."

Carter smiled, praying he meant about her too.

Consequences.7