Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender

Author's Note: Chapter 8 review responses are at the end. In the portion of Aang's earthbending lesson we see here, think Whack-a-Mole. This chapter spends a lot of time in Katara's head because her journey of discovery seems most important right now.

I don't know about you guys, but we are the weirdest herd I have ever seen.

--Sid the Sloth, Ice Age

Introspection

Katara sat on a rock, watching Aang's earthbending lesson. It was now his third day of training in that element, and she had to admit he was progressing well. He'd told her that the hardest thing was learning the attitude of an earthbender. Once he had that, everything else was relatively easy.

Toph and Katara had managed to call a truce the previous evening, which was the reason Katara was now allowed to observe, as long as she remained quiet and out of the way. Katara chafed a little at these limitations, but she gladly accepted them to be close to Aang. She still didn't understand it, but being out of his presence for more than a few hours caused an emptiness inside her that was almost a physical ache.

Toph had also agreed to permit others from the island to come as spectators for the first time, primarily the children. Katara glanced over at the group some distance away. Momo flitted among the kids, gladly accepting the treats some of them offered. It was a good thing they were leaving at first light tomorrow, or Katara suspected the little lemur would quickly become fat. They were already pushing a little beyond their three-day limit, since they'd arrived in the early evening on their first day and wouldn't technically be leaving until the fifth. Still, it made sense to give Aang three entire days of learning, and they probably wouldn't be able to reach the mainland before dark if they took off that late in the day.

Katara returned her attention to the teacher and student.

"Okay, Twinkle-toes," Toph was saying in her authoritative voice. "See how fast you can respond." She began sending narrow pillars of earth up about four feet in random locations. They only stayed up for a couple of seconds before receding back into the ground. Aang was not supposed to dodge them, which was his instinct as an airbender. He was supposed to predict where each one would come up and shove it back down.

Being able to watch Aang's training was something of a dilemma to Katara. She got to see him, but it was hard sometimes to sit still with some of the things Toph did. Her style of teaching was a lot rougher than Katara's, and the waterbender frequently caught herself gasping in alarm.

When did I become so protective? she wondered.

Probably right after you met him.

Katara considered this. Certainly, she had leapt unhesitatingly to catch Aang as he slid down the icy slope at the South Pole, despite her brother's warnings. She now understood that the Avatar State had been keeping Aang alive inside the iceberg, and his collapse was the result of it letting him go. Maybe her desire to protect him really had begun then, at the very beginning.

Her current situation was kind of ironic, when she thought about it. A little while ago, Katara was wishing for another girl to talk to. Toph – aggressive, argumentative, and decidedly rough around the edges – was not exactly what she'd had in mind. The two girls seemed to erupt into hostilities at the slightest provocation. Most of the time, it was over teaching Aang. The person she had hoped to welcome as a companion had instead become a kind of rival for his time. Her father used to say that the definition of trouble was two women under the same roof. Katara was beginning to think he was right, even when there was no roof involved.

You're in love with him, whispered an annoying voice in her mind.

What? I am not. That's ridiculous.

Yes, you are.

No, I'm not.

How would you know?

That thought brought Katara up short. How would she know? She frowned as she considered the question. She understood familial love, of course, but romantic love was something else entirely. Gran-Gran had once told her that love represented attraction in four dimensions: physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual.

Physical…she remembered the other night on the beach, when she had wanted to curl up next to him. She also couldn't forget the waterbending lesson that had made her feel so hot and strange.

Not to mention the fact that you're wishing he would take his shirt off again.

Shut up! Katara thought furiously at herself, but she could feel her face heating up. I am not!

However, the voice was right. Despite the fact that there was little to remark in Aang's torso – just the barest suggestion of the muscle definition he would probably attain in two or three years – she still wanted to see it. In the absence of other exposed flesh, her eyes kept drifting to his calves, following the way they tensed and relaxed with his movements.

I must be going crazy, she decided.

"Love is merely a madness…"

Great. You're going to quote dead poets to me now?

"…and the reason why it is not…punished and cured is, that the lunacy is so ordinary…"

Who are you, anyway?

I'm that little voice in your head that tells you things you don't really want to hear.

What good is that?

Sometimes, the things you don't want to hear are the things you most need to know.

So why do you sound kind of like Sokka?

You're used to him telling you things you don't want to hear. And like me, he's usually right.

The smug undertone in this last statement was highly irritating, and it was that much worse to know that this was actually a part of her. In any case, Katara supposed that the question of physical attraction had been settled. She skipped emotional, deciding that would probably be the hardest to determine.

Intellectual bonding was definitely there. They talked about anything and everything.

Well, almost everything, she amended mentally. Obviously, she hadn't talked to him about this. Anyway, she was always amazed at how much he knew from his world travels and never lost interest in their conversations.

Spiritual attraction was hard to define, yet this was one Katara was sure of. She had felt an instant connection to the young Avatar from the day they met, and Gran-Gran had told her their lives were intertwined. Now, in retrospect, she recognized that her insistence on going after Aang when he had surrendered to Prince Zuko went beyond simple concern for a life she'd touched. It probably even went farther than seeing him as the key to changing the world.

So, she had answered yes to three out of four, which brought her back to the emotional dimension. This was where Katara was the most confused. She cared about him, certainly. She was also aware that her level of caring had deepened and broadened in the time they'd known each other. She had even as much as said that she loved him, though she had meant as a friend. At least, she'd thought that was how she meant it.

Katara closed her eyes, breathed deeply, then opened them again. Maybe she needed to get away for a little while to sort this out. Besides, it was awfully hard to concentrate on her feelings for Aang when he was just about to get flattened by a rolling boulder. She bit her tongue in her effort not to cry out. Aang stopped the boulder, but Katara was convinced that she had seen enough earthbending for one day.

Aang caught movement out of the corner of his eye and called out to Toph.

"Hey, Toph, hold on a minute."

"Tired already, Twinkle-toes?"

"No, just give me a second." Then, he turned to address Katara. "Are you leaving?" he asked, trying not to sound disappointed. She flashed him that smile that always made him feel like his legs wouldn't support him anymore.

"I'm going to take advantage of our last day here and have a nice, hot bath," she replied cheerfully. "Who knows when I'll get another chance?"

Aang swallowed hard and tried not to think too much about that as he resumed his lesson.

I'm in love with the Avatar. I'm in love with the Avatar. I am in love with the Avatar. The thought pounded through Katara's brain like a mantra as their group rode Appa's back to the mainland, loaded with good wishes and supplies. She wasn't sure whether she thought the repetitions would make her believe it or make it somehow seem less real, but she was strongly beginning to suspect the latter.

"You've been awfully quiet, Sugar Queen," Toph addressed Katara in the nickname she'd selected for reasons the waterbender couldn't fathom. In fact, it seemed to be her habit to assign her own titles to people. She had dubbed Sokka "Snoozles" and Zuko "Sourpuss." Iroh was the only member of their group she addressed by name. "Is something wrong?"

This caused Sokka to look at his sister more closely.

"Yeah, are you okay?" he asked her. "You look kind of sick."

Yeah, lovesick, she thought ruefully. Aloud, she said, "I'm fine. I'm just thinking." She turned away from the piercing blue that appeared to be gazing disbelievingly at her. Katara was spared any further questions by Aang calling out from Appa's head.

"I see land. Do we know where we're heading yet?" As he said this, he cast a concerned glance over his shoulder at Katara. She smiled back at him as best she could.

Aang was back in his air monk attire, re-sized to give him a little growing room. The cobbler had managed to stretch the boots a little, but since he didn't think that would buy very much time, he'd also provided Aang with a larger pair of the calf boots favored by Earth Kingdom men. As a compromise, the new boots had been outfitted with tight laces to prevent them from falling off when Aang took to the air. Since Earth Kingdom people tended to keep their feet firmly on the ground, they didn't need shoes to fit that tightly. Most of these items had been overseen and negotiated by Katara, who had found herself somewhat at loose ends during their stay on the island.

"I know a place where there's water and plenty of space for earthbending and firebending," Katara spoke up, an idea forming in her mind. "There's even a scenic volcano nearby."

"No way," Sokka flatly refused. "I am not going back to Aunt Wu's village."

"Who's Aunt Wu?" Zuko and Toph asked at the same time.

"Just a crazy fortune-teller who rules a village with her mystical nonsense," Sokka jumped back in before Aang or Katara could provide a different description. "Besides, what if one of these guys sets off the volcano again?"

"You travel with the Avatar, yet you doubt the validity of mysticism?" Iroh sounded amused. Sokka shrugged easily.

"What can I say? I'm a pragmatist and a skeptic."

"That seems to remind me of someone," Iroh mused, casting a significant, yet affectionate, glance toward his nephew. Zuko merely grunted irritably.

"Just find some open, unpopulated area," Toph directed, having realized that the others had sidetracked and Aang was still awaiting instructions. "We've got supplies to last us a while, and we should probably avoid towns as much as we can."

Sokka looked at the blind earthbender with a certain grudging respect at that, clearly approving her thinking. Katara was just glad that the conversation had turned away from her preoccupation, though she was a little disappointed to not be able to see Aunt Wu. Even if she couldn't get a fortune, Katara could use a little advice. That only left her with the members of their party to confide in, and Aang was disqualified for obvious reasons.

Toph? Not likely. Not only were they not on very good terms at the moment, but she'd never even had a friend before. What could she possibly know about love?

Katara discarded Zuko almost before thinking of him. They had scarcely exchanged a dozen words during the time they'd been traveling together, so it hardly seemed the time to be pouring her heart out to him.

Sokka? Well, maybe as a last resort. The thought of having such an intimate conversation with her brother was more than a little awkward. Though Katara recognized that Sokka might have some valuable insights and would probably not tease her TOO much, it wasn't a first choice.

Iroh? Katara thought this over carefully. The older firebender was a definite possibility. He had a fatherly quality about him along with an air of wisdom. Surely, he'd been in love before and could advise her. After a little more reflection, she resolved to find an opportunity to speak with him alone.

Author's Note: The "Love is a madness" line is from Shakespeare's As You Like It. Great play! Rosalind says it while pretending to be a boy who claims he can cure Orlando of his love for her. Talk about crazy! Apparently, I'm on a bit of Shakespeare kick.

I've seen people say they have trouble seeing Aang in a sexual way because of his age. However, my husband assures me that 12-year-old boys are becoming quite…sexually aware. Not only that, but certain parts of the body are starting to work better than is strictly convenient. That's all I'm going to say on that, but I thought it important to note that I do view sexuality as being a part of Aang's character.

Review responses:

Thank you to Kairuthefrog, Nuclear Kitty, Dark Hearted Angel99, and xenus for your support.

MyrmidonGuy: I always find comedy funniest when it's true.

loaned: That line of Sokka's was sort of an add-on at the last stage. Glad you liked it.

frozenheat and xXxEndangeredSpeciesxXx: Here's my secret to keeping everyone in character. When I write dialogue, I close my eyes and imagine the characters saying the lines. If I can hear them, and maybe even see some body language and facial expressions, I figure I must have it right.

EphemeralMist: Yes, there is a lot of poorly written Kataang, along with a surfeit of Zutara fans. I actually have thousands of hits, so I'm not too upset that people aren't reviewing. I often find that the subtle approach can be more titillating. My view of romance is the slow and steady building of the relationship, bringing them together at the end. Of course, because they're teenagers, you do have to deal with the sexual aspect, and it can be a challenge to write that delicately and realistically at the same time.