Linnie sweated nervously as his wife, Nora Cosma, slammed her beer bottle on the coffee table, putting down her phone as her angered expression grew.
"Unbelievable. Un-fucking-believable..", Nora growled, catching Linnie's attention, noted with a squeak, "Linnie, come over here and see what YOUR son had just posted on his Fairybook."
"Um...y-y-yes Nora dear? What's the matter?", Linnie stuttered, nervously adjusting his glasses as he floated by her side, the phone shoved in his face, "O-Oh wow.."
"I know! After everything I told him, he still went and got hitched to that fucking pipsqueak of a woman! Like, are you fucking kidding me, Cosmo! It's like he's trying to get his own mother killed!"
"N-Now now darling, it's not that...I-I just think...well uh..", Linnie's voice got smaller and smaller, almost as if he were being put on mute, "I-I just think we should congratulate him..I mean, she really does make him happy and I...well.."
"I don't give a damn about that. He knows how much I hated that pink cockroach and he should know to follow fucking instructions. Bah!", Nora glared as she studied the picture; Wanda in her yellow dress holding Cosmo in her arms, the diamond ring placed on his finger. She glared daggers into the picture only to finally rest eyes on Cosmo's stomach, a small bulge where his belt was, "Say Lin, hadn't Cosmo put on some weight?"
"W-w-what do you mean?", Linnie asked before receiving a slap.
"A bulge, you fucking idiot! God, it's like I have to spoon feed everything to your dumb, stupid bitch ass. Look at the fucking picture Linnie.", Nora yelled, pulling his sweater vest to look closer at the picture, "Cosmo's gotten fat huh?"
Linnie didn't say much until he looked at the stomach, noticing the bulge was in the shape he (and thousands of other men) were far too family with. He blushed and smiled happily before Nora yelled at him, forcing him back to reality.
"Um..well uh...well even if he had dear...he's so happy right now and I-I don't think we should judge him dear. He's uh...he's beautiful."
"Heh..looks kinda like you after that one night. Wow..", Nora laughed before she looked at the picture once again, her anger not returning, "Seriously? What good does love do for anyone? All the pipsqueak wants is sex and I bet you she's going to use Cosmo 100%. Why, I wouldn't be surprised if...oh no. That better not be it."
"It? Dear, I don't understand?"
"That better not be a fucking child! We don't need anymore of her in the world!"
"Nora please...I think you're being a little too harsh..OH!", Linnie squeaked before receiving a punch in the stomach, tumbling over before he got back up. "Oh...oh my...I'm sorry, dear."
"Yeah. You fucking should be."
"W-why does this bother you so much though. I-I don't think I under-OH!", he received yet another punch. Nora then threw the beer bottle across the room.
"You know how I am about disobedience! I told him specifically not to get near her again and now all the sudden, they're getting married! Is that where he's been all this time when he was supposed to be getting the fucking milk?"
"Honestly Nora..uh sweetie...10,000 years getting milk? That doesn't really make sense. It should have been obvious to you, I would think."
"I didn't ask for your opinion Linnie! You always think you're so damn special! Well, why don't you shut your trap and do what you men do best; making me some damn sandwiches."
"Please Nora..I'm sorry..I was just trying to support.."
"Now Bitch! And get me another beer while you're at it. And don't fucking take all day."
After Linnie had sped off into the kitchen, Nora sat down and dialed Cosmo's number, only for it to go straight to voicemail. Nora growled, as she snatched the food away from Linnie, ignoring his soft whimpers. She tried to call several more times before eventually giving up and drinking the rest of the bottle, feeling herself slipping and losing her balance as she got up.
As she left the couch and headed towards the bathroom, she heard Linnie's voice ringing through their bedroom door, squealing with excitement.
"Oooh! I'm so happy! Cosmo, you've made me the happiest man of the planet! Congratulations! Is it a boy or a girl? Oh, I just saw the cutest little toys for them while I was shopping last week."
What? What's he talking about? Boy or Girl? Cosmo and Wanda didn't have kids...or did they? Nora was so confused, but the thought of grandkids scared her...and pissed her off as she continued to listen in. It was never her intention on having kids at all, but having kids with that pipsqueak woman...why Nora wondered if she had died and went to hell.
"Awww..do you know when you're due? Well, that's right after the wedding dear. Are you sure? I'm just worried you'll be uncomfortable...well ok. Just make sure your outfit fits by the time you hit the third month then...oh, I'm so happy for you! I know she'll take good care of you."
Bullshit. Nora rolled her eyes as she went into the bathroom, contemplating all that had happened. She hadn't received word of any of this happening, so why did she just find out? Why didn't he tell her! She was his mother! She had the damn right to know! Did...did he even want to get married? Did she brainwash him and force him to have her baby? Nora wasn't sure, but she didn't put it past Wanda to do something like that. Women these days...all they fucking want is one thing.
Despite being barely able to stand, Nora got up from the bathroom and slammed the door, grabbing her wand as she pooped herself in front of Cosmo's apartment door, banging on it and yelling at him to open the door. After a while, the green haired fairy finally came, his stomach poking out slightly.
"I-Oh...uh Hey Mama. I uh..."
"Any luck on that milk, son?", Nora growled, watching Cosmo squirm around like a worm, "Forget about it...we need to have a talk."