Summary: The Akatsuki arrive to take Naruto. Luckily, Tsunade manages to compromise with them. Now Naruto's only hope is to…..win a Battle of the Bands? Can Naruto form a kick ass band out of tone-deaf genins in time for the big show? How the hell does Naruto plan on learning guitar in less than a month? What in the name of Shino's fro is Sasuke doing back in the village! Read to find out.

Challenge: Tsunade is Backed into a Corner

"I'm going to kill them," Tsunade stated flatly. No one makes the fifth hokage wait and gets away with it.

"Please, Tsunade-sama," Shizune said, hoping to calm the violent women before she did anything involving hospital fees or building repairs. "They're only five minutes late."

Five minutes of borrowed time, Tsunade thought to herself.

Asuma and Kurenai simply sat quietly in the Hokage Office, not wanting to incur the boss lady's wrath. These monthly meetings were a mild inconvenience, but the two absent shinobi knew Tsunade was not someone you wanted angry.

Just then, two absent members appeared out of a puff of smoke in the middle of the room. "Sorry Hokage-sama," spoke the masked Jounin. "I accidentally stepped in a pile of quick drying cement…"

"And I had to help free him," finished Jiraiya.

Tsunade stood up and slammed her fists on the desk in front of her, splitting it into two halves. Shizune could only let out a heavy sigh. "LIARS!" Tsunade yelled at the top of her lungs. "I'm pretty sure it's a crime for shinobi to lie to their Hokage and knowing you Jiraiya, you both were out behind the women's bathhouse again!"

Kakashi and Jiraiya merely pointed at the huge block of cement on Kakashi's left foot, letting the evidence speak for them. The room went silent. Then everyone fell over laughing, finally releasing the tension caused by their tardiness. Neither Jiraiya nor Kakashi mentioned anything about the sidewalk repairs behind the Woman's Bathhouse.

Their laughter finally under control, Tsunade opened her mouth to speak only to be interrupted by a knock at the door. Somewhere deep inside her head, Tsunade's last remaining nerve finally snapped. There's gonna be hell to pay!

Meanwhile, in hell…

"ATCHOOO!"

"You alright there, Satan?" asked God, looking down from his throne.

"I'm fine. Just seems to have gotten a bit chilly down here." Satan replied, shivering in his realm of fire and brimstone

The Almighty raised an eyebrow. "You sure you're alright?"

"Swear to God."

Back in Konoha…

A messenger burst through the doors to the Hokage's office. "Hokage, it's urgent! They're here! The AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The poor messenger was sent flying through the ceiling by an uppercut before he could finish his sentence.

"Now, before there are anymore interruptions…..wait, who's her?" The hokage said with a puzzled look on her face.

"Maybe you should have launched him into orbit after you found that out," muttered Shizune.

"He was going to say, 'The Akatsuki are here.'" Asuma spoke.

"And how would you know that?" asked the red eyed kunoichi sitting next to him.

Asuma pointed towards the doors to the office. It seems that while everyone was looking up through the new sunroof at the airborne shinobi, four cloaked men had entered the room. Two of them Kakashi recognized immediately as Itachi and Kisame. Their last visit was hard for him to forget. The other two were new to him. One wore his hair in a blond tail and the other one seemed to be shrouded in shadow…quite literally. By the way the others stood behind the dark one, Kakashi surmised that he was the leader.

"I apologize for my unsightly appearance," the leader said. "Our cave needed some cleaning and I didn't have time for a bath. Anyways, I'm sure you know why we're here so hand him over."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "And why the hell would I do that!"

Itachi raised a small pig in the air, which squealed in fear. "TONTON!" Shizune shrieked. Tsunade, however, was unphased. She simply shrugged her shoulders and said, "I was going to eat the damn thing eventually anyways."

Kisame raised a book in the air. Kakashi's eyes went wide with fear. "My limited edition copy of Ichi Ichi Paradise! Hokage-sama, you have to do something!" Jiraiya slapped him on the back and let out a healthy laugh. "Don't worry about it. I'll make sure you get another one."

The blond Akatsuki member cleared his throat to get the sannin's attention. He gave Jiraiya a scroll and waited as his eyes scanned over the writing. "You bought the company that publishes my novels!" Jiraiya dropped to his knees. "Tsunade! You have to do something!"

"Are you kidding me? I should give them Naruto just for getting rid of that smut. I've been trying to do that for years." A smirk appeared on her face as she glared at the Akatsuki leader. "Not that I'll give them a precious shinobi of this village simply because of a little favor."

"I was hoping it wouldn't come to this," said the soot covered man. He snapped his fingers and a large bag, taller than Kisame and wider than Chouji's father, appeared in the middle of the room.

"In this bag are all the bras in the known world that could possible fit you. If you do not give us the Kyubi, I'm afraid I'll be forced to destroy them."

I like the way these guys think! Jiraiya thought to himself as he smiled devilishly. Unfortunately, he forgot that giving a thumbs-up to the enemy was not appropriate, especially in this situation.

A second human-shaped hole was made in the ceiling and all the women in the room shared a look of satisfaction. This did not change the predicament the fifth Hokage was in.

"Okay, you've got me. However, if you spent as little as five minutes with that kid, you'd realize that simply giving him to you is impossible. It's not as if he'd go voluntarily and he has been letting the Kyubi take more and more control these past few weeks. Naruto just might let him take over completely if cornered." It was an obvious bluff, but Tsunade hoped that her luck would pull through for her. The Legendary Sucker should have known better

"That's a lie," the leader said calmly. "However, I've also heard that this kid is a shinobi of his word and having him come of his own free will would be preferable." He had a quick conversation with Itachi and returned his attention to Tsunade.

"Here's the deal. We challenge the boy to a friendly competition that takes place one month from now. If he wins, we will leave him and this village in peace. If he loses, he comes with us quietly." Kakashi began laughing hysterically. After all, who could imagine a quiet Naruto?

"And if Naruto declines the challenge?"

The leader allowed Kisame to answer the question. "We make Orochimaru's invasion look like a New Years block party," he replied with a smirk.

"Yeah," added the blond.

Tsunade wasted no time giving her answer. "We accept then. Leave the…hostages and get the hell out of my office."

"Just so long as it's clear that we'll have to resume publishing the Ichi Ichi series. It provides too much revenue for us to simply stop for your benefit." The four men turned to leave when Kurenai broke the silence.

"Wait, what kind of competition is it?"

Itachi took out a sheet of paper with printing on it. He folded it into a perfect airplane and threw it towards Tsunade. She caught it, unfolded it, and read it quietly. A look of sheer horror appeared on her face.

An Hour Later…

"I HAVE TO DOWHAT!" an enraged Naruto shouted at the top of his lungs to a depressed Hokage sitting behind a broken desk. The next month was going to be very interesting.