Yes! I've finally finished this #$ chapter. I can't believe I had to start all over. Sorry if it took so long.

To the person who asked a couple of questions: Truth is I had no idea what the rating system was like. I assumed that M was mature and chose it to stay on the safe side. Besides, I'm sure there are several people out there who would find my use of God as a comical figure offensive and worthy of the M rating.

As for why I didn't allow anonymous reviews, I disabled that feature because I didn't want spam reviews. Unfortunately, I had one useless review already by none other than a guy (or gal) who thought I cared what their opinion of Naruhina was. To each his own I say, just don't let my review section be your spamming ground. Still, I might as well re-enable it. I just wish I knew a way to delete annoying reviews like that.

Getting Started: You suck!

Somewhere Non-Naruto…

All was peaceful on the Jundai campus as Kaname Chidori rested peacefully under a tree. The day had been perfect. Class had come and gone with ease, she had passed all her finals, summer was approaching, and most importantly, there had not been a single…

KABOOM!

…explosion. Deep down inside the high school girl, her mirror of sanity had shattered. She rose from her resting spot with murderous intent, running straight for the sound of screaming students and the smell of destruction. One boy was to slow to react and was left sprawled on the ground with a foot print on his face. Quickly she ran to the source of Chaos and found her target, the bane of her existence.

"Sousuke, you're going to get it now!" She screamed, reaching into her bag for her weapon of choice. Sousuke, knowing full well what was coming, put himself in the fetal position to reduce injury to himself. He knew full well what was coming.

When a moment had passed and he found himself not in pain, he peaked up at the girl who looked to be in a middle of a panic attack.

"Where is it! I could have sworn I packed it in my bag this morning. No, forget that! I know I packed it this morning!" She glanced behind her, under her, and even checked down her blouse. Sousuke, without understanding why, began blushing, but still lacked the sense to keep his mouth shut.

"This is just my opinion, but perhaps you left it in your bed. I know for a fact that you have slept with cradled in your arms many-" Sousuke never got the opportunity to finish his sentence. A clean punch in the face by Kaname sent him flying.

"How the hell would you know that!" Having taken care of that problem she continued her search, which now involved the interrogation of onlookers and passersby. "Have you seen it? Have you seen the Precious! Hey you! Don't run away from me!"

Succumbing to defeat, she let out one final cry.

"WHAT THE –"

Konoha (and back to the story)…

"—HELL NARUTO? I've heard better sounds coming from a dying cat!" shouted an irritated Sasuke.

A full week had passed since Naruto, Sakura, Shino and Sasuke had formed a band in order to compete against the Akatsuki and thereby save Naruto from a slow and agonizing death. Naruto, having never played an instrument before the challenge, was playing lead guitar with the kyubi's help. Sakura by Tsunade's order was forced to play drums. Surprisingly enough she was very capable as a drummer and found herself enjoying her instrument, though you'd never be able to get her to say it. Shino, being the more experienced of the four (who would have guessed), played bass, while Sasuke was on vocals and rhythm guitar.

Since the day Sakura and Naruto were able to handle their parts (both had learned everything they needed in three days…go figure) the band would rehearse from the time the sun rose till well into the night, playing songs they listened to from Hinata's extremely large collection of rock music. The quiet girl had never missed a practice, though the entire time she could be found writing in a black notebook as she listened to them perform. Every now and then, she was able to convince a few other friends to join in and listen. They were all amazed at how well each of them had progressed individually, but as a group they pretty much…sucked.

Blasphemy! Kid, eat him! I demand someone eat him!

Naruto ignored the demon, but was not about to let Sasuke get away with his insult. "Oh yeah! Well, I'm sick and tired of all the morbidly depressing shit you've been making us play! How the hell are we suppose to win this god-damn thing if our audience kills themselves because of our music!"

"…" came Shino, thinking to himself that the stupid blond had a point.

Sasuke struck back. "You know as well as I do that I can sing any style out there. I just prefer this one. You play what again? I think it was called…crap?"

That was the last straw. Immersed in the Kyubi's chakra to the point that fangs and claws were appearing, Naruto lunged at Sasuke with every intention of ripping out his tongue and making a snack out of it, assuming of course the Kyubi was a good little fox. His personal mission was cut short when he was struck down by a very angry pink-haired girl.

WHACK! was the only sound that was heard from the room in the academy where they rehearsed. With Naruto facedown on the ground, Sakura stood triumphantly over the boy with a paper-fan in hand.

"BAKA! If you kill him, whose suppose to sing for us? I sure as hell am not going through another Audition from Hell!"

Heaven…

"You see God? Nothing beats the pleasure of seeing someone beat the crap out of another person," Satan said to God.

"True dat," replied God, munching on some popcorn. He offered some to his Son who politely refused.

Damn Sadists, the Holy Shepherd thought to himself.

"Excuse me, Almighty sir?" said a herald from the door on the other side of the great hall. He seemed to be having problems with a viscous beast on the other side. "We have an extremely hostile visitor from the Full Metal Panic universe demanding she get her toy back. Something about a boy named Sousuke needing his medicine."

"I want my Precious back you Miserable Bastard!" came a very angry voice from beyond the doors.

"Get her number for me," shouted Satan to the Herald. He then turned back to God. "You're not going to give it back to her yet, are you?"

The Holy Father merely smiled and said, "Of course not!" (Inner-God: Nobody calls me a miserable bastard damnit!)

Back in the Academy Room…

"Sasuke-kun," said a very timid Hinata, "You really shouldn't pick on him like that. Naruto-kun had a lot of problems even before entering this competition. His freedom, and probably his life, is depending on this band winning." She gave a sympathetic look to Naruto and then went back to writing.

"Yeah," Sakura added. "It's not as if you have anything to lose!"

Sasuke turned to face Sakura with rage written all over his face. "WHO…THE HELL…ARE YOU TO TELL ME SHIT!" He demanded.

Sakura was stunned silent at the anger emanating from her former teammate. Saying she was scared would have been an understatement, but her Inner Self was a little turned on to say the least. Spin the wheel, raggedy man!

"This has to be the worst week of my life since the day my clan was slaughtered! I haven't had a decent nights sleep because someone gets the urge in the middle of the night to wake up and stuff her face with MY food. How am I supposed to live with myself when I've been forced into a woman's bathroom at least twice everyday? Let's not forget the time you had the sudden urge to try Mexican food! You chicks are disgusting and I've been to Men's Restroom at that place!"

Sasuke should have kept his mouth shut. Naruto, having learned from experience, was already making some distance between him and the seething kunoichi drummer. Shino followed Naruto's lead. In fact, had Sasuke stopped right there, he might have avoided what was to come, might have being the key phrase.

However, Sasuke's balls had taken over and were doing the talking now.

"But on top of all that, I'm stuck in a band with the worst drummer I've ever met! It's a miracle I'm not permanently deaf! Wait, I take that back! I'm pissed I'm not deaf because that means I have to keep listening to your obnoxious banging! Please, shove those sticks in my ears and put me out of my misery!"

Oh, if you want these sticks that badly then you're gonna get them smart ass! Inner Sakura shouted with rage. Taking both sticks in one hand, she moved with lighting fast speed and all the strength she could muster.

Haruno Sakura Style: Sennen Gurushi!

Sasuke's ass will never forgive his balls.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"

Ten Minutes Later…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"

Heaven…

"Ouch!" God said, instinctively covering his nonexistent anus.

"Oh Hells no!" Satan said, tilting his head as if to get a better look at the damage.

"I almost feel bad for the guy…almost."

The three men looked at each other in silence and then all of them, including passive Jesus, began laughing hysterically. "Hey Shorty," God called to his Herald. "Tell Psycho Girl she can have her fan back!"

Back in Konoha, Ten More Minutes Later…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—" Sasuke's unceasing cry of pain was interrupted by a quick smack across the face by Naruto.

"Pull yourself together man! Geez, I don't remember being this much of a baby when it happened to me."

If Sasuke had not been in so much pain, he would have said something like, You probably liked it, but being told to man up by Naruto stung about as much as his physical injury. Carefully, he reached behind himself and pulled out the inserted objects from his rectum. Despite the pain and embarrassment, he still had enough nerve to make one final threat. "Sakura, I swear on my aching ass, you will pay. Before the day I die, you will pay…"

Hinata had actually stopped writing long enough in her notebook to witness the scarring event. No one, save the hero of our story, noticed that the girl had not moved or blinked once since it happened. "Hinata are you alright?" Naruto asked.

She snapped out of her trance at the sound of his voice and gave him a reassuring smile. "I'm fine. I just might have to go through counseling for the rest of my life."

Naruto laughed at what he thought was a joke (a hell of a joke considering it came from Hinata), but Hinata had been all too serious. In fact, she was mentally deciding what would be a good date for her first session and calculating the monthly cost.

The band, having lost the energy to continue practicing, just sat there quietly waiting for a miracle to happen. Sasuke nursed his wound, trying not to sit in a way that would bring him pain, while Sakura proceeded sterilize her drumsticks. Naruto seemed to be having an argument with himself. He was muttering something about Guitars playing, groupies, and not wanting to eat his band mates (that had everyone staring at him for a while).

Shino however was staring at Hinata in a very…who the hell am I kidding? No one even noticed that he was staring because of those damn shades! Still, he was the first to break the silence.

"Hinata, why don't you tell everyone where our problems lie," he requested of the girl.

The shy girl nearly soiled herself at the thought of criticizing her friends. "W-Why me, Shino-kun?"

"First, I'm asking you because there is no one else to ask." This had Hinata casting her head down in shame. Obviously. "But more importantly, because we will be performing in front of people who love this music almost as much as you do. If anybody knows what our flaws are, it would be you."

Hinata glanced at everyone. Sakura gave her a reassuring smile and Sasuke nodded his approval. She looked at Naruto, not willing to go through with it without his consent. He gave her a toothy grin and said, "Don't worry Hinata. I'm not going to hate you for helping us out. Say what's on your mind." A much better choice of words from his original thought of yeah, tell everyone how much Sasuke and his depressing songs suck!

She took a breath and began "Well, none of you are really bad at playing your instruments. As musicians, you're all very good, but none of you except for maybe Shino-kun know how to play as a group. Sakura, as the drummer you are the heart of the band. Everyone needs to be looking to you to know what they need to be playing, but the opposite is happening. You are looking to everyone else for your part and as a result, it sounds like you are constantly trying to catch up.

"Sasuke, Naruto was right when he said that the songs you are doing aren't enough to make it in this competition. People from different countries are going to show up for this event and every one of them will have different tastes. If you know you can handle other vocal styles then practice different kinds of music. Also, I noticed that being so near to Sakura as she plays is a real problem for you, but insulting her isn't going to heal the damage done to your inner ears. First you should go to the hospital and then you should tell the Hokage that the bond is getting in the band's way."

Sakura, hearing that last part gave a guilty look to Sasuke and placed her hands over her ears. They began to glow green with her healing jutsu as she set to work on healing the damage. "Gomen," she said quietly, not looking Sasuke in the eye.

Sasuke, not knowing what else to say, replied with, "Same here."

Hinata finally turned to Naruto. "Naruto-kun, I've never heard anyone play the guitar the way you do. It's amazing to me that a week ago you probably didn't even know what a guitar was. Still, all the talent in the world can't help you if you aren't willing to play with your band. You're not supposed to be competing against Sasuke-kun, remember? I understand that the two of you are rivals and everything, but if you can't use that to your bands advantage then please put it aside."

Hinata looked at the floor, not wanting to see how upset she had made the boy she admired. Naruto was definitely ticked that he was to some degree at fault, but like he promised, he did not take it out on Hinata. "Thank you Hinata," he said, his hand patting her on the head. "I'll definitely get better even if it means working with that bastard."

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched and he was about to snap back when a guest opened the door to the room. Shikamaru, being his lazy self, yawned as he entered the room. He glanced around and decided not to ask any questions. Instead he went straight to the point.

"Hokage-sama wants to see all of you." He noticed that Hinata was in the room. "Hokage-sama wants to see everyone that's in the band. If you know what's good for you, get there fast. She caught Jiraiya snooping through her underwear drawer and she's been pissed all day."

Everyone got up to go. Sasuke had trouble standing so Sakura helped him up. The two of them and Shino were the first to leave but Naruto held back for a while. "Are you going to come with us, Hinata-chan? I'm sure Hokage-sama wouldn't mind" Plus, she's always nicer when you're around.

"No, I think I need to be heading home. My father thinks I've been training these past few days but he's starting to get suspicious. See you tomorrow Naruto-kun."

"Bye then." With that Naruto was gone.

Hokage's Office…

"I have a mission for you," she eyed the four genin in front of her, "We have just received information from a very reliable yet disgusting source," she pointed at the badly beaten body of Jiraiya, "that Itachi's band will be opening for a very popular band. Use this chance to your advantage and see what you will be up against. Anko will take you to the village where the concert will be held."

"Hokage-sama! You can't be serious about sending her to escort us!" Sakura said.

"Don't worry Sakura, she will only take you there. She has her own mission once you enter the village."

"Besides," came a voice from behind Sakura, "what's wrong with little ol' me?"

Sakura let out an eep, and then hid behind Sasuke. Well, more like shoving Sasuke between herself and the mad woman. "Nothing, nothing. I just thought that being with us would be beneath you."

"Damn straight!"

Sasuke, while not appreciating being used as a human shield, had more pressing matters. "Hokage-sama, I need you to either remove this bond thing or at least extend it. I can't contribute to the band otherwise."

Tsunade stared at the boy and then at her apprentice. Then out of nowhere she started laughing hysterically. "I'm sorry. I forgot to tell you that Sakura could extend the leash as far as she needs so long as it is a conscious decision on her part. There is a limit to the distance, but I doubt she'll have any need to test it."

Sasuke was furious at the Hokage's incompetence. "You bi-" he started. However, before he finished his statement, Sakura clapped a hand over his mouth and shook her head furiously. She knew full well what the Hokage was capable of and dragging a corpse around was not something Sakura considered a good time.

She glanced around the room. "Are there any other questions?"

This time Naruto spoke up. "Who are the Akatsuki openings for?"

Sakura and Sasuke stared at the blond boy. Naruto actually asked a question that wasn't stupid? A chill ran down both their spines.

Tsunade looked through the paperwork. "Let's see. I think they're called the Fallen Shinobi. Yeah that's right. This is supposed to be their final concert as a group. Why?"

The blond tried to remember where he had heard that name before. "Oi Shino. Isn't that the band-" the boy in shades nodded his head. Naruto then turned back to the Hokage. "In that case, Tsunade-bachan I have a favor to ask."