Hi and hello, I am back again. This one isn't quite as long as the last one, but it's pretty long, sorry, I want to give you decent amounts of story to read with each update, I hope that's okay with everyone. Anyway, onto the chapter, I hope you like it.
The Device
The next day M was officially back to work so she got up, disappointed but unsurprised that she'd missed John leaving that morning, and got on a uniform. This was one thing she'd missed at the Pantagon; having a uniform. It may have given her the chance to try out other clothes, but it meant planning out an outfit every day. Maugan might enjoy that, but M didn't.
She got ready and put her hair up in a ponytail with the fringe twisted and pinned back. She grabbed all the things Maugan had put on her and in her hair yesterday and headed out of the room to return them to her, and see whether she was ready for breakfast.
She rang the door chime and Maugan answered quickly. They had a minor disagreement over M returning the jewellery, before Maugan finally agreed to keep it in her room for safe keeping and they headed next door to see if Carlos and Sacha were still in their rooms. They were dressed and ready as well which was great because M was starving and ready to go and eat.
They headed up to the mess hall and grabbed some food, then headed over to the table where Teyla and Ronon were already sitting. They greeted them and sat down, M wondering where John was; she'd expected him to be with them. She was about to ask when she felt a hand gently run over her back and the man of her thoughts appeared beside her.
"Good morning, beautiful," he greeted her quietly as he sat down.
"Good morning, gorgeous," she replied, giving him a warm smile which he returned.
She wondered if it was obvious to anyone outside their group that they were together and thoughts of Kavanagh and Cherry jumped into her head. Hopefully they would sort out that device today and get the alternates home, she'd really like to see the back of that woman.
They talked about their days ahead as the others trickled in a few at a time. Having SG1 around was going to be interesting and she'd have to get used to that, but she was sure she'd adjust soon enough. Once she had the alternates sorted out, she'd introduce herself to SG1 properly and let them know who she was; for now she had other things to worry about.
When breakfast was over, she, Maugan, Sacha and Carlos headed off to the science lab while John took his other self and the rest of the alternate team to see Elizabeth about going back to the planet to sort out the device and send them back.
They were almost at the lab when Zalenka called through the headset for M to get down to the lab as fast as she could and she hurried the rest of the way, wondering what was going on. When they arrived, they found a weird device sitting in the middle of the room with a cable running from it to one of the conduits that fed power from the naqueda generator into the science lab.
"What the hell is that?" M asked.
"I have no idea, I just came in here and it was there," Zalenka replied. "I can tell you what I think it is though."
"A bomb," M replied for him, thinking the same thing. "Either way we have to disconnect it from the power."
I have tried to approach it, but the device keeps sending out blasts of energy whenever I get too close," Zalenka explained.
"Okay so we need to get it to shoot at something else or find a way to shield ourselves." M thought about it. "Carlos grab the portable iris generator I made for Atlantis," she ordered, pressing her headset to call up to the central tower. "This is Dr McKay, we need to evacuate the north tower immediately! The rest of you get out of here," she ordered, and all the other scientists who'd beat her to the lab that morning looked at her worriedly for a moment before doing as she said.
"We're not leaving you here," Maugan snarled.
"You can't stay here, Maugan," M replied, as the alarm starting to ring through the tower ordering all staff to evacuate.
"Well tough because we're not leaving, so tell us what to do," Sacha replied as Carlos brought over the iris generator.
M sighed, knowing she didn't have time to argue with them right now. "We need to power this up as much as we can and get it to wrap around the device to contain it's fire until we can disconnect if from the power cable," she explained and they all got to work around her as she began working on a way to get it disconnected. She ordered Zalenka to keep an eye on the energy going in with the scanner, to see if there was any sort of indication of where the level needed to be before it did whatever it was designed to do.
It took only a few minutes for the iris generator to be ready and for M to have worked out a way to separate the device from the power source; they were going to have to sever the cable running from the naqueda generator. They all got ready, and Carlos, being the fastest, leapt towards the device with the iris device in his hand and activated it at the right time to get it to concentrate its energy in a small space and contain the devices fire.
As soon as it activated Sacha and Maugan pulled him back and M ran in to cut through the cable with a blow torch. The iris generator was doing well, but she could see that it was going to run out of power soon.
When she finally cut through the cable the device started to shudder and shake and she ordered the others to get out of the lab, leaping to her feet to follow the, glad that they didn't argue this time. They were almost at the door when she felt a burning pain rip through her body, then everything went dark.
XX
John was standing at the sealed doors of the central tower, calling repeatedly to M, getting more and more panicked with every moment. He'd already been up in the central tower walking up the stairs to Elizabeth's office when the call had come through from M about evacuating the north tower and he knew that could only mean one thing; something had happened in the science lab.
As soon as the evacuation had been ordered through the system, the central tower had sealed them all in the room. John has been livid and ordered the techs to get the doors open, but of course they couldn't until Elizabeth ordered the release of the lockdown; which she wasn't going to do until they knew the problem had been contained.
He'd tried to call down to the lab and so had Elizabeth, but there was no reply. They scanned the interior and found a massive energy build up. They didn't know how M's original message had gotten through, but as the energy built up it generated too much interference for any other signals to get through.
They watched the energy with baited breath, the techs and Sam working on a way to alter the shields to isolate that area and shield the rest of the city in case the energy reached catastrophic levels and threatened to destroy all of Atlantis.
John understood what they were doing completely, but he didn't like it.
For a moment the energy spiked and they all tensed waiting to see what would happen, then it winked out and stopped and John tried to call through to M again. When there was still no response, he tried again then tried to call Radek. He kept trying every few moments and he could hear Elizabeth calling down as well.
"McKay, answer me damnit!" John snarled, using anger to mask the utter panic that was slowly devouring him from the inside.
"Harper to central tower, the threat had been neutralised but we need a medical team down here now!" Maugan's panicked voice finally came through the central communications system.
"Open it now!" John snarled at the techs and he ran down to the door and out of the room without waiting for Elizabeth to give him permission, Sam close behind him.
He met Carlos in the hallway carrying M's unconscious body towards the infirmary and the panic almost suffocated him.
"She was hit by an energy discharge from the device," Carlos explained as John took her from his arms and they continued on down the hall.
"Was anyone else hurt?" he asked, because he knew he needed to find out to report to Elizabeth.
"No, everyone else is fine," Carlos replied.
'Of course they are'
They met the medical team in the corridor and John placed M down on the stretcher while Carlos explained what had happened. He ordered Carlos to stay with her and give him frequent updates on her condition while he went back to the science lab.
He didn't want to, he wanted to stay with M, but he had a job to do.
Every step he took back to the lab broke his heart a little more.
XX
Elizabeth was in the briefing room with most of SG1 and the alternates, discussing a trip to the planet where the device was that had brought them here. As much as her own city was having issues she still needed to get them home, with SG1 here they could easily go through with the alternates to work on the device while her own people stayed here and got everything sorted out with the city.
She was surprised when Sam walked into the briefing room with an angry, worried look on her face. "Colonel, do you have any answers for me?" she asked.
"Yes, there was a device planted in the science lab. It was designed to syphon power from the naqueda generator until it had enough stored, then it was supposed to release it back into the generator and create a catastrophic overload, destroying the generator and the rest of Atlantis with it," Sam explained.
"Do you have any idea where the device came from?" Elizabeth asked.
"As a matter of fact, we do," Sam replied, turning to look at the alternates with a raised eyebrow.
They looked back at her blanky for a moment before a group of marines walked into the room with Cherry detained between them, another two came in with Kavanagh.
"Cherry here brought the device to Atlantis, Kavanagh helped her get it up in the science lab," Sam explained, her eyes still trained on the alternates.
"Oh, hey, we had nothing to do with that," alternate Sheppard immediately replied, finally catching on to what they were saying. "She is a new staff member the IOA sent to the city against our will and Woolsy had wanted her to come off world with us to gain experience. She's not part of our team, we don't even want her in the city; we certainly didn't bring her here to sabotage you. Until we stepped through the gate that day, we'd never seen the device that sent us here, it wasn't our intention to come here. Elizabeth, you know me, you know all of us, do you really think we'd be a part of something like this? What would it gain us?" Sheppard asked. "Making friends with another Atlantis would be far more beneficial to us than blowing it up. Having you guys here means we can trade intelligence and technology, if you're all dead what do we gain from that? Plus, we'd all have died here with you and why would we want to do that?"
Elizabeth studied John closely and he looked sincere. "All right, John, I believe you, but if she's not allied with you, that begs the question of just what she was doing in your city. Perhaps the device wasn't meant for our Atlantis at all."
"I was just thinking the same thing," Rodney said, looking over at Cherry accusingly. "Having her assigned to the city never sat right with any of us, there was nothing she really brought to the science team, not like the other people who were along on the expedition. Woolsy had wanted us to take her along on that mission for off world experience and to help her acclimate to at least a few people; but we all knew that was never going to happen. I'm wondering if it was really the IOA who sent her here or if perhaps it was someone else, like the trust," he looked over at her accusingly. "We've had a few run ins with them in our universe."
"Either way, until we get to the bottom of this, neither she or Kavanagh are going anywhere. You can all go to the planet and work on the device, she will stay here in a holding cell," Elizabeth ordered, looking at Sam as well.
"Hey look, I wasn't responsible for this," Kavanagh started to protest. "She asked for help hacking into the personnel system because she wanted to find out more about … certain people. She didn't tell me anything about a bomb."
"I don't care what she told you," Elizabeth replied. "By helping her hack into our systems you are just as culpable as she is and you will face charges accordingly."
"What charge are those?" he asked, looking nervous.
"Don't let them scare you, Kavanagh, they're not going to do anything to you. I've read over all their mission reports and Dr Weir is far too soft to do anything, even about their worst enemies. She's a bit pathetic really," Cherry said with a disgusted glare at Elizabeth, her demeanour completely different from the petty, high schoolesque cattiness they'd all experienced from her since she'd arrived.
"Dr Weir isn't the one you need to be concerned about right now," Sam said, looking from Cherry to Kavanagh.
"What do you mean?" Kavanagh asked nervously.
"When they cut off the power to the device it had nowhere to send the energy it had stored, so it discharged out into the lab. McKay was the one closest to it when it went off," Sam explained.
"Is McKay all right?" Elizabeth asked.
"I don't know, I haven't heard the report from Dr Beckett yet," Sam replied.
They all looked over when Cherry started chuckling.
"That was the point of this wasn't it? To kill Dr Mckay?" Elizabeth asked.
"No, but it is a delightful fringe benefit," Cherry replied with a sadistic grin
"Do John and the others know?" Elizabeth asked Sam.
Sam nodded, "Sheppard was going to come up here and give you the report, I offered to do it instead so he could go down to the infirmary and see if Carson had anything."
"Oh good, I can just imagine the look on his face when he finds out I've broken his precious scientist. It doesn't seem to matter which universe they're in, those two are so attached to each other," Cherry said, shooting a sly grin over at Sheppard and McKay who glared at her.
"Would you shut up, you've already gotten us into enough trouble," Kavanagh hissed.
"Oh, stop fretting, what exactly do you think they're going to do to us?" Cherry asked.
"Whatever we like," Sam replied. "You seem to be forgetting that you're from another reality, which means there's already another you in this reality and therefore you are … no one."
Cherry was opening her mouth to reply when Carson appeared on the bridge between the control room and Elizabeth's office, and the soldiers made room for him to move between them. He was looking grave and Elizabeth's heart sank, "I'm guessing you don't have good news for me, Carson."
"Unfortunately not," the Dr replied sadly. "There's neurological damage, it's not something I can repair. McKay might survive but … it won't be the McKay we all know," Carson said sadly.
Elizabeth sat back in her seat, feeling like she was losing one of her children even though M wasn't all that different in age to her.
"Now Dr, this is very important, do the rest of McKay's friends know and did they cry when you told them?" Cherry asked. "Particularly Sheppard, was there ugly crying? Or the giant? I would love to have seen him sob."
One of the female marines punched Cherry in the face, the sound of her nose snapping echoing through the office.
Elizabeth enjoyed it more than she'd ever admit. "Take them to a holding cell," she ordered the marines. "Make sure Cherry gets there in … mostly one piece."
The marines looked just a little too gleeful, Cherry looked shocked, and Elizabeth was sure her eyes probably looked colder than they ever had. She watched the marines take Cherry and Kavanagh away, when they were out of sight she turned back to address the teams in front of her.
"Sorry, Dr, you said neurological damage?" Vala asked Carson before Elizabeth could say anything, and he replied with his usual Scottish 'Aye'. "I might be able to help with that. Qetesh, the twisted goa'uld that she was, was an expert in neurological research, you don't want to know why, but I still have all her memories and before I got away from my planet I went back and raided her stash of equipment; I still have it. I might be able to save McKay."
Elizabeth looked at her hopefully. "Anything you can do."
"Right, Doctor if you can come with me down to my room then show me how to get to the infirmary," she asked and Carson agreed without hesitation, leading her out of the room.
"All right, the rest of you get to that planet and get working on that device," Elizabeth ordered, looking over at Sam as well, and they all headed out of the room to get geared up.
After they had gone Elizabeth sat there for a moment, hoping so desperately that Vala would be able to save M. They'd finally gotten her back; she didn't want to lose her again.
Elizabeth wasn't blind, she hadn't missed the fact that John had become a completely different person in M's absence, then came back to almost a perfect version of himself with her return. Whatever was between them, Elizabeth knew John wouldn't survive losing her again.
Atlantis couldn't afford to lose either of them, they needed them here. More than that though, they'd come to mean so much to Elizabeth and she didn't want to lose them.
XX
John sat beside M's bed, holding her hand and feeling like someone had ripped his heart out.
This couldn't be happening, it had to be a really bad dream and he needed to wake up. All those years of being in love with Rodney and not being able to have him, all the pain of losing M, then the relief of finally getting her back, all the love and happiness he'd felt the last few days having her finally be his; it couldn't all be over now.
He wanted to cry and scream and smash his fists as hard as he could into someone or something, but he felt too numb to move.
'You can't go, you can't leave me, please come back.'
"Colonel," Carson's voice made him look round at the doctor. "I need to move M, Vala thinks she might be able to save her and I need to take her in to the scanner for the treatment."
John couldn't speak, he felt Ronon pulling him up from the chair, then away from M's bedside and he didn't fight the Satedan. He held onto M's hand as the nurses rolled the bed away, letting her go only when he had to. He watched as they rolled her into the scanner, feeling completely helpless and broken, but desperately hoping that Carson was right and somehow Vala could save her.
Vala walked into the room a few moments later, holding a large bag. She stopped beside him and looked between him and the others with compassionate eyes, "I'll do everything I can, I promise," she said, squeezing him gently on the shoulder before heading over to join Carson in the scanner.
John felt Ronon move him to another chair, then Teyla and Ronon sat down on either side of him to wait, the Athosian holding his hand tightly. They waited for what felt like hours, watching Vala run several different devices over M's head, with absolutely no idea what she was doing or whether it would help at all. He didn't believe in a higher power, he never had, but he wished and hoped with everything in him that Vala could do this.
Please, Mere, don't leave me, I need you."
When Carson finally came out to talk to them, John looked up at the doctor with what he was sure was a look of pure desperation.
"Vala did it, M's going to be all right," Carson said gently and John felt relief flooding through his body so fast it made him dizzy. "There will be no lasting effects from the damage. She's going to need a lot of rest over the next couple of weeks, but she'll make a full recovery," Carson explained.
"Are you certain, Carson?" Teyla asked.
"Aye, Teyla, I am," he confirmed kindly and John looked behind the Dr to see the nurses wheeling M out of the scanner, into the back of the infirmary.
"M's going to have to stay here for a while, so I figured I'd move her somewhere with a little more privacy," Carson explained. "Come through with me and you'll be able to see her."
Somehow John's legs got up from the chair and followed after Carson without any real input for him. Carson led them into an enclosed section of the infirmary and John watched as the nurses attached M to the monitors behind the bed, before leaving the room.
John moved over to the bed with the others behind him, looking down at M's beautiful, sleeping face. When he'd heard she was probably going to die he'd felt numb, now that he knew she was going to be okay he was completely overwhelmed with emotions. Fear, relief, sadness, happiness and love all stewed together in his body as he dropped down into the chair beside her bed and took her hand, laying his head down on the pillow beside hers and pressing his face into her hair.
Ronon and Teyla were right beside him as he burst into tears, completely unable to hold himself together any longer.
He was the Colonel, he was supposed to be strong for his team, but right now he just couldn't be. He was so grateful that when he fell apart Ronon and Teyla were strong enough to keep him, and each other, together.
'Thank you, Teyla, thank you, Ronon. Vala, thank you, I'll never forget this.'
XX
It was going to be a few days before M woke up, but to reassure him Carson had shown John the scans of her brain and explained what it all meant so he'd know she really was okay. When he'd calmed down enough to leave the infirmary for a short time, he went back to his room to shower while the others went to the mess hall to get them all some food. He ended up eating in the infirmary beside M's bed; whether she was going to be awake or not he couldn't bring himself to leave her anymore than necessary.
Carlos, Sacha and Maugan came by to see her during the evening and ended up staying for a while, talking to M even though she probably couldn't hear them. Over the next several days they managed to work it so that one of them was always with her throughout the day, taking it in shifts so she was never alone, particularly when John had other matters to attend to.
John only left her room as much as he had to. He made sure to be at every meeting Elizabeth needed him for, he oversaw Kavanagh's transfer back to the Daedalus, the only other thing he really had to do was see Cherry and the rest of the alternates back through the device.
He wanted to kill that woman and he considered putting a bullet through her brain before he threw her through; but he knew he shouldn't. She wasn't from their reality and the one she'd come from would surely want to interrogate her; he wouldn't deny them that.
The moment Sam, Zalenka and the other McKay worked out the device, John ordered a group of marines to bring Cherry to the gate room. He called Ronon and Teyla to join him, and they went on ahead through the gate to double check everything before the marines brought Cherry through.
John didn't know what the alternates or SG1 saw in his face when he arrived at the device, but they all looked wary, even the alternate versions of himself and Ronon.
"Everything in order?" he asked Sam.
"All sorted," Sam replied confidently. "There's only enough power to maintain the portal for a short time, so there will only be one trip."
"One is all we'll need, good work everyone," he praised and both Sam and Zalenka gave him a grateful smile.
They all looked round as the gate dialled again and when the marines came through with Cherry John felt his hands tighten into fists. He was surprised when Teal'c hand suddenly appeared in front of him holding a zat, and he looked at the Jaffar curiously.
"It is most satisfying," Teal'c explained, showing him briefly how the weapon worked before handing it over.
John held it in his hand as the marines approached and John glared at Cherry as she smiled sadistically at him, even through the many cuts and bruises currently covering her face.
"There you are, Colonel, how's your girlfriend doing today?" she asked mockingly.
John waved the marines back, and when they released her, he held up the zat and shot her, watching her twitch as she fell to the ground.
"McKay's fine, thanks for asking," he replied sarcastically to the unconscious woman, then turned to hand the zat back to Teal'c. "You're right, that is satisfying," he agreed.
"Indeed," the Jaffar replied, taking the zat back and holstering it.
"All right, let's get this going," Sam said, fiddling with a tablet for a moment before the device swirled to life, the power source sputtering and whirring. As soon as it looked stable John ordered the marines to throw Cherry through and when Sam confirmed that she had made it to the other side, the rest of the alternates followed.
"Sorry about all of this, thanks for having us," alternate Sheppard said with an apologetic smile.
John just waved to him, not really in the mood for talking to anyone, and Sheppard disappeared into the device. When Sam confirmed that they were all through safely, she cut off the power and the device shut down.
"All right, let's move out," John ordered, seeing no point in hanging around any longer. The others seemed to agree with him, they helped Sam and Radek pack up, then headed for the gate.
When they got back John went to see Elizabeth, letting her know that everything had gone smoothly and asking for the next few days off, since they had no missions scheduled and it was relatively calm at the moment. Elizabeth granted his request and told him she'd be staying around an extra week to see M back on her feet before she left. It was nice to know Elizabeth cared so much about them all, he was really going to miss her while she was away.
John was sitting in M's room a short time later with Ronon, holding M's hand and trying to think of something nice he could surprise her with when she woke up, when Maugan came in to talk to him, looking excited.
"John, I was looking over the blueprints of Atlantis, searching for somewhere my men and I might be able to live together, and I saw something I thought might interest you," she said, holding out the tablet in her hands for him to see. "I figured that perhaps you and M might be thinking about living together soon and I thought this might be a nice spot. I was thinking perhaps Ronon and Jennifer might want to move over there too and maybe even Teyla and Carson, just so you can all be close together, Vala too maybe, it'll be like our own little community," she suggested.
John studied the blueprints, then looked over at Maugan in surprise. "We looked at these rooms in person and dismissed them because there were bigger rooms in the tower we already lived in, but if this is right … have you gone there to see whether these actually do what it says here?" he asked.
"Not yet, I thought you might like to come and look with me," Maugan replied with an excited grin.
"I'll stay here," Ronon told him and John smiled at his friend. They all knew John didn't want to leave M alone and they'd all been there to support him and wait with him; he was so grateful for them.
John leant over and kissed M's forehead gently, promising to be back soon, then slipped out of the room after Maugan.
XX
John jogged up to Elizabeth's office about half an hour later and knocked on the door.
"Yes, John, what is it?" she asked with a smile.
"I have a request to make," John replied and Elizabeth looked at him curiously.
XX
Over the next two days John hatched his plan. He got Maugan to help him design what he needed to build, had the science staff and the Athosians help him build the parts and put them together, ordered what they couldn't build from Earth, and had all the others help him move things around and get them ready. He offered them help as well but they all politely declined, wanting him to be with M as much as he could be.
It was the night of the fifth day since the accident and John was sitting in the chair beside M's bed, with his head resting beside hers on the pillow, and his eyes closed. He was holding her hand and singing along to the music he was playing on his iPod.
He didn't know if she was aware of anything around her at all, but if she was he just wanted her to know he was there. He wasn't a big talker so he couldn't talk for that long, but he could sing along to his iPod without an issue, and he didn't think he sounded too bad.
It was the tiniest movement in her hand but he was aware of it immediately. He opened his eyes and looked up to find her blue eyes open and looking back at him.
"Mere," he breathed, smiling at her and reaching out to gently stroke her hair, tears stinging his eyes. "Hey, can you hear me?" he asked softly.
She nodded, smiling tiredly up at him. "I … I like it … when you sing … you sound really nice," she said quietly.
He returned her smile, pressing the button for the nurse to come in and check on her, "Well I'll sing for you any time you want, Mere," he promised her, leaning forward to kiss her forehead and stroke her hair back. He felt her hand come up to gently thread into the back of his hair and he pressed his face against hers, taking a moment to enjoy having her awake.
The nurse came in a minute later and called out to tell one of the others to call Jennifer in; then came over and started taking observations. John moved out of her way but stayed close to M, holding her hand.
Jennifer came in a minute later, smiling when she saw M finally awake. The nurses gave M a sip of water which she definitely appreciated, then they left the room so Jennifer could talk to M privately. Jennifer asked whether M wanted John to leave while she spoke to her, but M declined, wanting John to stay which was what they'd both expected.
Jennifer explained what had happened to her, how Vala had been the one to save her and how they expected her to make a full recovery. John could tell she was overwhelmed by the whole thing and how close she'd come to dying, and he thought about suggesting to Jennifer that perhaps it was all a bit too much right now.
M squeezed his hand and he looked down to see her looking up at him with tears in her eyes, not for herself but for him. He squeezed her hand back and leant down to kiss her gently.
'I'll be okay, Mere, you're still with me,'
He didn't say it, he let the kiss say it for him and he knew she understood. She still looked sad when he pulled back, but it had eased a little.
Jennifer asked her if she had any questions and M asked when she'd be able to leave the infirmary. Jennifer told her it would be another couple of days, just to get M back on her feet and eating again. Jennifer then told M that John needed to go back to his room and sleep, but John protested.
"Look, we've let you stay here while we've been waiting for M to wake up, but you've seen that she's fine now; you need to go back to your room and get a decent night's sleep, Colonel. I'll send you with some sleeping pills if you need them, but I'm not taking no for an answer this time," Jennifer said sternly.
John was about to argue when M interrupted him. "She's right, you need to look after yourself as well and Jennifer said I'd probably just sleep for the rest of the night anyway; I barely feel awake now. I want you to sleep as well, you look so tired, John. Please, go to bed, I'll be fine I promise."
John asked Jennifer to give them a minute alone and she left the room, closing the door quietly behind her.
"I don't want to leave you," John said, looking at M earnestly. "I've been waiting days for you to wake up and it has terrified me. I can't just leave you now you're awake."
"John … my love, I am barely awake, I doubt I've got more than a couple of minutes left in me. I'm going to fall asleep soon and I won't be surprised if it's tomorrow afternoon by the time I wake up again. I don't want you to end up sick and rundown because you're here needlessly worrying about me while all I'm doing is sleeping. Please, for me, have some care for yourself and go to bed for a while. I promise I'm not going anywhere and I'll get them to call you the minute I wake up again, okay," she beseeched.
"All right," he reluctantly agreed. "Only because you asked. But I'm not leaving until you're asleep again."
"Okay, I'm good with that," she agreed, and he lay his head back down on the pillow next to hers. She smiled at him, reaching out to gently stroke his hair and his face. He did the same to her, gazing into her beautiful, blue eyes until they slid closed. "I love you, John."
"I love you too, Mere," he replied, watching her smile as she slipped off to sleep.
He stayed there watching her sleep for another few minutes, before reluctantly dragging himself away. He made the medical staff promise to call him when she woke up again and left the room, declining Jennifer's offer of sleeping tablets. He walked wearily back to his room, stripped off his clothes and dropped tiredly onto the bed. He missed M, he wished so badly she was there with him, but he was so tired that his mind eventually shut down and he fell into a thankfully dreamless sleep.
XX
For the next few days he stayed with M while she was awake and spent the time she was sleeping getting all the preparations for her homecoming organised. The last pieces he needed arrived the day before she was due to be let out and he was thrilled that Earth had a ZPM now and could get his things sent through so quickly.
He finished setting everything up and stood back to admire his handy work. He had to admit he was really impressed by how everything had come together, he just hoped M liked it too.
He raced through breakfast the following morning, excited to spring M out of the infirmary and the others grinned and chuckled at his enthusiasm. "You are going to make yourself sick, John," Teyla admonished.
John just shook his head, "Nope, not going to happen," he replied between mouthfuls and she just shook her head with a fond expression on her face.
As soon as he was finished he practically ran down to the infirmary, even though Carson and Jennifer were still eating and M couldn't leave until they'd officially discharged her. He didn't care, he wanted to be there waiting with her.
She looked up as he appeared in her doorway -barely panting from the exertion, yay air force fitness- and smiled brightly at him.
"Hey there, beautiful man, you are looking especially fine today," she greeted him and he moved over to the bed, leaning down to kiss her. "Mmm, you smell spectacular too," she added, slipping her hand back into his hair and deepening the kiss. He bit back the moan that wanted to escape when her tongue gently stroked his and kissed her a little longer before finally pulling away.
"As much as I'd like to do that all day, I don't think the medical staff will appreciate the show," he said softly.
"Don't stop on our account, honey," the nurse who'd just walked into the room to take M's observations said, with an appreciative look at them both, and he and M laughed.
"Are you ready to get out of here?" he asked, and M's eyes lit up.
"Yes, absolutely," she replied. "Are we just waiting on Carson?"
"Yep, I'm sure he'll be here soon," John replied. "Oh, I haven't told you yet, but I have a surprise for you when you get out."
"Ooh really? What is it?" she asked excitedly.
"Something I hope you'll like," John replied, really hoping the gesture didn't fall flat. "I think you will and the others think you will, so hopefully you will."
She gave him a half concerned half sympathetic look and reached out to gently touch his face. "I'm sure I'll love it," she assured him.
He hoped she was right.
They chatted for a bit longer before Carson finally came in and went through all the discharge information with M and John, including how much food to eat and how often, then the extra vitamins he wanted M to take for the next little while. Both John and M nodded through the whole thing and Carson laughed.
"Just make sure you're taking them and doing what I say, M and you'll be able to go back to work properly in a week or two, all right," he finished and she gave him a bright smile and agreed. "All right now, off with you," Carson ordered and John grabbed a wheel chair so she didn't have to walk and placed all the vitamins in a bag, which he hung from the handles on the back of the wheelchair. They bid good day to Carson and the nurses before heading off.
M was quiet for the first little while, seemingly just happy to be out of the infirmary. It wasn't until John went in the opposite direction he'd normally take to go back to M's room that she said something.
"Oh, where are we going?" she asked.
"It's a surprise," John replied and M looked puzzled, but nodded.
They walked through the corridors and took the transporter to the right level before he pushed the chair out and M looked around herself in curiosity.
"Where are we? I think I recognise the corridor, but I can't place it."
"You'll see in a minute," John replied, telling her to cover her eyes which she thankfully did without question, then pushing her over to one of the doors. He waved his hand over the console outside and the door slid open with its usual musical sound. He pushed the chair inside, moving her over to where he thought would be the perfect position, then told her to open her eyes. She pulled her hands away and looked around the room in wonder.
"Oh my god, John, where are we?" she asked, pushing herself out of the chair and moving over to the glass sliding door she was currently facing, that led out onto the large balcony.
"Your new room, if you like it," John replied and she turned to look at him then the room around her in surprise.
"What do you mean?" she asked. "I never remember seeing rooms this size when we went through the city before."
"We have been up here looking at these rooms before, but we dismissed them thinking they were too small. What we didn't realise is that the walls can actually move and change in this tower to make the rooms bigger or smaller. This is actually two of the smaller rooms joined together to make this space and when you move this one." He walked over to the wall on the left and pressed the buttons to make it disappear into the floor revealing the room behind it and the surprise he, Maugan, the other scientists and the Athosians had built.
M's eyes lit up in surprise and wonder as she moved over to look at their handiwork.
"You said you wanted a bigger bed, so I thought I'd make one for you," John explained as she moved closer to study her present.
It was a fairly simple design, but it was practical which John knew M would appreciate. It had storage drawers underneath it, which John always thought was the best use of underbed space, and the bedhead was just the right height for her to sit up against when she was working or reading. At the end of the bed was one of those long tables that sat on castors and rolled up to sit over the bed so she could have her computer in front of her rather than on her lap and would hold a drink or anything else she wanted to put on there. There were bedside tables on either side of the bed and it was made of a combination of wood and metal. The wooden components had been created by the Athosians and he thought they looked incredible.
John had ordered the mattress, a good one for M's back, pillows, including two that acted like a cushioned seat back and went against the headboard to make it more comfortable to sit up against, and all the blankets and linens from earth.
He'd always known Rodney liked cool colours to sleep with, he loved sunset tones in other situations which was why he'd been wearing that orange fleece the first time they'd met, but he liked to sleep around calm, soothing colours. John had assumed M would be the same and bought different tones of blue, green and grey for the bedding in a soft silk/bamboo combination that John knew would feel heavenly against her skin.
"There is one bathroom through the door closest to the glass, the other leads to a wardrobe. There's also a second bathroom at the opposite end of the room, and I'm not sure if you noticed, but the wall that blocks the bedroom off from the rest of the room had a little door in it as well, so if you want to you can close that wall up and leave it shut then just use the little door to get into the bedroom, or you can leave it all open like a studio style apartment, whatever you like. On one side of this room is the room Sacha, Carlos and Maugan are going to be sharing, on the other side of us are Ronon, then Jennifer, I'm assuming they'll probably combine rooms eventually. Vala is next to Carlos and the others, Teyla is next to Jennifer, then Carson. Maugan said the other, that it's like a little community up here, and I think that's nice to have." He stopped and turned to look at her, hoping she liked it.
She was quiet, which unnerved him; he didn't like it when she was quiet.
"So … do you like it?" he finally asked and she turned back to look at him with an expression he couldn't read.
"You said this was my room, right?" she asked.
"Yeah," he replied.
"Not … ours?" she asked and he could hear worry and confusion in her voice. "You went to all the trouble to make me a giant bed and got this big space together, I'd have thought you'd want to share it with me? Don't you want to?" she asked.
"Well, yes, of course I do," John replied, moving forward to take her hands. "But I didn't want to just assume you'd want me to yet. I mean, this is relatively new and I didn't know if you were ready for that. I wanted to show you the room and see what you thought of it, then ask how you'd feel about sharing it with me, that's all," he explained and she nodded moving forward to wrap her arms around his waist and cuddling into him.
"Well, I love it, and yes, I want you to live in it with me," she replied. "The bed is amazing; how exactly did you manage that?"
A combination of me, Maugan, the scientists and the Athosians; they made the wooden parts when we showed them how to do it. They're very efficient too, had it all done in a few days. Anything I couldn't get made here I had shipped from Earth and thankfully I got the orders in and had them express delivered so they'd arrive through the gate with this month's delivery. I thought it would be something you'd like," he explained. "And I remember you telling me a while ago that you like to sleep around relaxing colours so I thought blue, green and grey tones would be the best choice. Was that okay?"
"It's perfect, John, thank you," she replied and he could hear the tiredness in her voice. She was getting better, but it would still be a little while before she could stay awake all day.
"Shall we curl up on the new bed and nap for a while?" he suggested softly.
"You don't have to go?" she asked.
"Nope, got today off," John replied kissing her hair.
"Okay, but you don't have to stay here with me while I nap if you'd rather do something else," she told him.
"Mere, there is nowhere else I could possibly want to be right now than right here," he assured her softly.
"Okay," she agreed quietly and he scooped her up and carried her over to the bed. He put her down long enough to pull the blankets back then helped her lie down and covered her over before taking his outer clothes off and crawling in beside her. She looked up at him tiredly as he moved towards her and looked down into her eyes.
Her expression was odd, he couldn't read it and he didn't like that.
"What's wrong?" he asked, stroking her hair back.
"I don't know, I just feel … I wouldn't call it upset, but I don't really have any other words for it," she replied.
"Well, you have been through a lot these last few weeks, maybe it's just a culmination of things catching up to you," he suggested.
"Maybe … I don't know," she replied, tears sparkling in her eyes.
"It's not something to do with me, is it?" he asked, worried that he might have upset her.
"I don't think so, I just feel really … I don't know, vulnerable and insecure maybe, that's all I can relate it to. I've never really felt like this so it's hard to explain it, or understand it. It's like … I'm scared that you're going to go away," she admitted, tears slipping down her face. "And it frightens me, because it almost feels like I'd … fade away or disappear without you. I don't know why I feel like that, I don't know why I'm so scared, but I am."
"Mere, you nearly died, of course you're scared," he said understandingly.
"I've nearly died before and it didn't feel like this," she replied.
"But this was different, this was your mind. You're a scientist, Mere, your mind is your strongest defence, your strongest weapon, knowing it was almost damaged beyond repair is going to be frightening for you," John reasoned. "And being afraid of me going away, I know that's my fault, you thought I didn't want to live here with you and that's not it at all, I definitely do. Mere you know I love you more than anything, you've seen me break down into tears a few times over you and now so have Ronon and Teyla. I'm not a crying kind of guy, Mere, that's not usual behaviour and I know you know that. I don't get this emotional over anyone but you, I didn't even cry when Nancy asked for a divorce, because I never loved her the way I love you."
He wiped the tears off her face and leant down to kiss her forehead. "I am not going to leave you, I am never going anywhere, but I understand you're going to feel raw and vulnerable right now and it'll be associated with me because, I'm your place of safety; I've always been that person, I know that. I will give you all the reassurance you need right now to feel safe and we will get through this together, I promise. I'm not going anywhere, Mere, ever."
She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to hug her, pressing her face into his shoulder. "I love you so much," she said wetly.
"I love you more, Meredith," John replied, letting her cling to him for a while before asking if he could hold her properly.
She released her grip on him and he lay down on the bed, pulling her into his arms and holding her tightly, stroking her hair. "It's going to be okay, Mere, you'll feel better soon, and I'll always be here," he promised.
XX
So there we go, I have to admit I got a kick out of the scene with Teal'c giving John his zat, it made me giggle. For anyone who follows my other story Another Life, the rooms are a little different, but I liked the idea of the moving walls so I incorporated them a little in here. These rooms will be in one long line rather than a big, circular tower like the ones in the other story.
The next chapter will see a new relationship form, I like to move the focus a bit to the other characters sometimes and it's a relationship I've never explored before so its a new one for me. We'll also see SG1's reaction to finding out M used to be Rodney and how different M and Sam interact not that M's a woman.
Thank you for everyone who had reviewed or favourited, I really love and appreciate you all, I'd love to hear what you think so reviews are always greatly appreciated.
See you soon
Kayla