My God! It's actually done. It took me three tries and I had to reread (something I absolutely hate doing.) it twice, but it is done. I hope this is worth the wait. Okay, this happens to be my favorite chapter so far, but seeing as how it took more than a couple of months, it'll probably fall short of your high expectations. Oh well. If it's any consolation, I aced most of my finals by studying instead. See, if I pass my finals, I get to stay in school. If I stay in school, I won't have to get a full-time job. If I don't have to get a full time job, I'll have time for hobbies. If I have time for hobbies, I can write this fanfiction. So everybody wins.
My apologies to people who actually have full-time jobs and still manage to regularly update their fanfics.
This chapter is also dedicated to a fic I ran into a month ago called Hinata's Music Filled Day. I thought, "Man that is some scary yet funny stuff! I could totally get half a story tying that fic into this one!" So tie it in I did and I really hope people will read it (thing will also make more sense as I refuse give away specific details about someone else's story). There's another reminder later in case you forget.
Well, enjoy the chapter and review!
Surprises: What You Least Expect
"Please stop," Hinata mumbled as she tossed and turned in the hotel bed. Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, and Shino watched with concern as the sleeping girl fought with her nightmare. They nearly had simultaneous heart attacks when she woke up kicking and screaming.
"Enough already! My fragile mind can't take much more!" she shouted with paranoid fear in her eyes. Not sure where she was or what she was doing there, she glanced around the room with sharp twists of her neck so forceful, her friends feared her head my pop off. Slowly, everything came back to her: Rushing the bouncers, meeting up with Suzu, rescuing Sasuke from the tranny, and finally, accidentally singing to the largest crowd she'd ever seen and then passing out. Fallen Shinobi could burn in hell as far as Hinata was concerned.
Feeling embarrassed for a thousand reasons, she looked down at her hands as they fidgeted with each other over her lap. "I," she lifted her head to look at the four of them, and then let it face downward once again in shame. "I'm sorry."
Sakura seemed annoyed by the apology. "What the hell are you apologizing for? The concert was just about over anyways, so it's not like we missed anything when we had to drag your unconscious behind out of their. In fact," she said, her irritancy giving way to admiration, "it was a piece of cake getting you out since the entire crowd was in shock."
"Yeah," Sasuke said with a smirk on his face. "You even managed to shut the dobe up."
Naruto hid the desire to kill his ex-teammate like a champion. Instead, he clasped his hands behind his head, shut his eyes, and, with a smile on his face, stunned them all. "Well," he said, "after hearing a voice like Hinata's, who wouldn't be?" The moron had actually countered Sasuke's insult like an adult. Mouth agape, the Uchiha was speechless. Proud of himself, Naruto diverted his attention from the stunned Sasuke to Hinata. The compliment was so surprising, Hinata forgot to blush.
Shino tried waving his hands in front of the statuesque Hinata hoping to get a reaction without any luck. "…" (Damn it Naruto! We're back where we started with her!)
Before Naruto could respond to the accusation, everyone heard someone in the hall outside the hotel room whistling. It was an odd tune since few of them were familiar with the style of music, but it did remind them of a musical the Hokage, (dead old one and not the hot new one) had held while they were still in the academy. Men were dressed in tuxedoes and woman wore dresses that could blind people and there was singing and dancing. Frankly, it was well beyond the understanding of children growing up in a hidden shinobi village, but whatever it was, Hinata was reacting badly to it.
Released from her trance, the girl began pressing her back against the headboard of the bed and raising the blanket above her mouth and nose. The paranoia from before had returned full force. As the whistling grew louder, so too did Hinata's state of panic escalate.
Just when it seemed the whistling could grow no louder, it stopped. A feeling of relief overcame Hinata, and her friends relaxed a little after seeing the frightened girl calm down a bit. However, the worst was moments away. Next came the singing.
"If you're blue…"
Out of fear, Hinata reached out and grabbed Naruto's arm, bringing it towards her for protection. This confused Naruto, leaving him looking as helpless as Hinata did.
"…and you don't know…"
A rustling sound was coming from just outside the room as the mysterious voice continued to sing. Hinata's grip on Naruto's arm strengthened and Naruto grew concerned for Hinata's state of mind. Sakura, who was still in the room, was brainstorming ideas on how to wake the still shocked Sasuke.
"…where to go to…"
The doorknob to their room began turning, catching Shino's attention. The bug user tensed, a tingling sensation warning him that his health was in danger. Hinata clutched Naruto's arm with even more force than before, this time digging her fingers in. Naruto now grew concerned for the well-being of his captive arm.
"…why don't you go where fashion sits…"
There was a pause from outside the room and a silence within as the knob stopped turning.
Slowly the door began to creak open.
The floor creaked as the mysterious visitor took a step through the door, revealing nothing more than a boot.
Crickets outside began creaking in the hopes of getting laid.
Somewhere on the other side of the planet, a high school student was being drowned by a girl suffering from unrequited love in a creek named after the poor bastard (serves you right Dawson).
Then, just as they were beginning to relax their guard, the stranger burst through the door and landed in the middle of the room.
"PUTTIN' ON THE RITZ!"
Hinata screamed like a madwoman.
Naruto screamed in pain as all ten of Hinata's fingers ripped through the flesh of his arm.
Shino screamed like a girl when he realized just who had entered the room.
Sakura growled in frustration at the frozen Sasuke, kicking him in the shin and hoping to God it hurt like hell when he woke up.
Sasuke……….remained stunned.
The figure standing calmly in the room looked mockingly at the poor, frightened girl on the bed. "Hinata, you have got to be the only girl on the planet who can go from catatonic to psychotic in less than sixty seconds." After hearing the characteristic mix of sarcasm and cynicism, Hinata finally realized who it was that was speaking to her. "Anko-sensei?"
"The one and only," she said with a sinister smile, walking towards her and stepping on Shino who had gotten into the fetal position. "I had just gotten back to see how you were doing when I ran into an old friend of mine." Everyone still conscious glanced at the door and saw Suzu poking her head through the doorway. "Yo!" she said cheerfully.
"You two know each other?" Naruto asked redundantly, nursing his wounded arm.
"That explains a lot," Sakura muttered.
"What's that suppose to mean?" Anko said with a threatening look. It was enough to silence Sakura for a while. "I thought so. Anyways, she explained everything that's happened since I left." She turned her attention to Hinata and flashed a proud smile. "And I do mean everything. Still, I'd really like to know how the hell 'Puttin' on the Ritz' earned that kind of reacton."
Curiosity getting the better of them, everyone turned their attention to the white eyed girl. One would have expected the shy girl to faint again, but seeing Naruto's arm was enough to guilt her into reliving the nightmare. "Well," she started nervously, looking back and forth between her genin companions, "it was a really, really bad dream. You were there, and you were there, and you were there…."
Five Minutes Later…
(Hinata's dream is actually another fanfiction, so if you want to know what could possibly derange such a sweet and innocent kid like Hinata, read Hinata's Music Filled Day by RedLotusNin and IceHunterNin)
"…and that's when I woke up."
The room was silent as the group wondered how such a quiet girl could have such a scary imagination. The only person completely unaffected by the tale was Sasuke, but considering how he was nothing more than a statue at the moment, not much was expected from him. Even Suzu and Anko, veterans of scary shit, seemed disturbed.
"Anko," Suzu said in a pleading tone. "Promise you'll put me out of my misery and kill me if Hiashi ever does that in the real world."
"No can do," the jounin said. "If I'm going to put anyone out of their misery first, it's going to be me." She put her hands on Hinata's shoulder and looked her dead in the eyes. "Hinata, you are a sick, sick girl. Most people have nightmares about being eaten alive, falling into a bottomless pit, seeing the Third Hokage butt-naked, or Naruto procreating." She shuddered at that last one while Naruto scratched his head wondering what exactly procreating meant. "But only you could come up with something that…evil."
"I don't know," Sakura said in a sweet voice staring dreamily at Sasuke like she hadn't done since I started this story. "I thought it was kind of cute." Had Sasuke been conscious, he would have hurled.
Shino, if anything, seemed offended. "…" (Stomp? What kind of sick joke is your subconscious trying to pull? I have insects in my body for Christ's sake!) (AN: I get the feeling only a few people are actually going to get the joke, but oh well. I'm laughing my ass off.)
"I will never be able to look at Gaara with a straight face again," Naruto said. "And how does someone survive after hearing Lee on vocals? Hinata, you could have at least warned us first."
"I'm sorry," she said. "It's just that everyone seemed so interested, Anko-sensei was being scary, and your arm…"
Naruto laughed a little, dissolving the fear and anxiety in the room. "You mean this," he said, raising the arm Hinata had been clinging to moments before. "Don't worry about it. See, it's already healed."
Sure enough, nothing except the strange tattoo could be found on the arm. No open wound, no cut, no scab, and not even a drop of blood. Still, despite her confusion as to how anyone human could heal so quickly, Hinata was glad that she had not harmed him as much as she thought she did. "If it's alright with everyone, I think we should go out," she said. "I don't feel too comfortable in this room after what just happened and I'm sure everyone could use the fresh air."
"That is such a great idea," Anko said enthusiastically. "I know a great place."
"It's a bar, isn't it?" Naruto and Sakura said in unison, not surprised at all when she nodded cheerfully.
At that moment, Sasuke snapped out of his trance and let out an agonizing cry. "What the hell! I feel like I walked into a goddamn breakfast table!" Still nursing his shin, he completely missed the self-satisfied grin on Sakura's face.
Later While Walking To Some Bar…
None of them really wanted to go to a bar but, since Anko had the money from the Hokage, they had little choice in the matter. Suzu and Anko began talking about what they had been doing with their lives after Suzu left the village and how much fun they had as kids growing up. The genin learned that they had been neighbors, best friends, and pranksters beyond even Naruto's skill and talent, though Naruto denied their claims.
Sasuke, wanting to know what happened while he was out of it, was briefed by Sakura about Anko's creepy entrance and Hinata's even creepier dream. After hearing his part in the dream, he scoffed. "No self-respecting Uchiha would ever wear a leotard…ever!"
"Oh yeah?" Naruto challenged. "What about that getup you wore for the chuunin exam?"
"That was NOT a leotard! That was a…"
"…an oversized black condom with enough bandages to keep the hospital stocked for a few years?" Anko cut in.
"Yes," Sasuke said prematurely, quickly realizing how stupid he seemed. "I mean no! Hell no! That didn't look anything like a condom!"
"But you were wearing enough bandages to last the hospital a while, and I would know," Sakura interjected. Sasuke, seeing that he had been beaten, dropped the subject.
A while later, they reached the place Anko had in mind only to find a huge line in front of the entrance. Seeing as how they had walked all the way from their hotel room, they sure as hell were not planning on going back, but they did feel the need to do away with the line. Sasuke, being a pupil of the man himself, was afraid Anko was going to go Orochimaru on the people ahead of them. He certainly didn't have a problem with her doing away with them in such a fashion, but he preferred they remain inconspicuous. Fortunately, so did the Tsunade.
Not one to let setbacks like that hinder them, Anko and Suzu decided to use this opportunity to show Naruto what true pranksters were made of. Anko took off her jacket and headband and then tore off half of the fishnet stocking shirt she wore underneath. She then undid her hair and shook it out giving off a wild appearance. Suzu, who had been a wearing an ordinary blouse and slacks, unbuttoned the blouse and tied the ends across her bust, showing off a fair amount of cleavage. Then, to the utter shock of the younger girls, they took off their pants. The boys immediately had to hold their noses to stop the blood from flowing when they realized that the women were wearing thongs. Deep down inside, however, they were a little disappointed that they had anything on at all.
The senior pranksters walked towards the line and proceeded with a dialogue meant to be private but said loud enough for the crowd of horny men to hear.
"I can't believe that asshole fired us!"
"Yeah, and all because we wouldn't put out for the customers. I'm a stripper for crying out loud, not some two-bit whore."
"Still, why did he have to fire us?"
"What do you expect when you have that many girls willing and able. Face it girl, we're just too old and the young ones are a dime a dozen there, and I mean that literally."
The men standing in line were looking at each other for support, not sure what they should do. Slowly, they began to sneak away and run in the direction Anko and Suzu had come from. When the skirt chasers were gone, Anko and Suzu walked back to the group and put their clothes back on.
"Your turn brat," Suzu said with a grin. "Let's see what you can do."
Naruto took a look back at the line and sure enough, half remained. Women, the straight ones anyways, wouldn't be lured away by the promise of T&A. The blond boy thought for a moment and then it hit him. "This is going to be easier than making Hinata blush," he said, causing the girl to do just that.
He walked behind a tree near the bar so that no one, not even the people he was with, could see him. Henge! they heard him shout and when the explosion of smoke had died down, he leaped out from behind the tree in the guise of Jiraiya. He faced the line of woman with a devious grin, holding his arms out and making grabby motions with his hands.
"Keh, keh, keh," he laughed, imitating Jiraiya perfectly. "Getchu!" he shouted like a sexual deviant, taking a step towards the crowd. In an instant, the women ran screaming in the opposite direction. When the last of them were out of sight, Naruto turned back to his friends and gave them the thumbs up, still in the guise of Jiraiya. Anko, having been on the receiving end of the old perverts antics, shivered.
"Strong is the force with him," Suzu said in a playful manner. "Much potential he has."
"Hmph!" she grunted, "consumed by the dark side he is!"
"As if your one to talk," Suzu said as she elbowed her old friend.
Inside the Bar…
Despite Anko's insistence that they go to this specific bar, the genins could not figure out what was so special about it. It wasn't any cleaner than other bars, the prices were the same, they didn't serve anything out of the ordinary (not that the minors could drink anyways), and the bartender looked like some average Joe with a fairly decent arrest record. If anything seemed unusual to them it was the small stage directly across from the entrance. Sure they had heard about them, but none of them had actually seen one in a bar. Then again, this was probably the first bar any of them, with the exception of Naruto who had traveled with Jiraiya, had been in.
Anko and Suzu took a seat at the bar while the underage genins went to a table near the stage. Apparently the bar was having an amateur night, and anyone with any sort of musical or comical talent was allowed to perform. Some were good, some were bad, and some were so terrible that audience members ran on stage and beat the performers. While a comedian was being taking away on a stretcher, Naruto had gone on stage to pick up the tooth that had fallen to the floor. When his friends asked why he did it, Naruto replied, "to see what the tooth fairy will give me for them."
Hinata noticed that the two women had been doing very little drinking their entire time at the bar. Instead, she saw that they were talking to the bartender and directing his attention to the group at the table. Hinata had a bad feeling, but just when she figured out what they were planning it was too late.
"Guys and gals," the announcer began. "Our next performers have come here all the way from the Hidden Village of Leaf. So new they don't even have a name, please give a hand for Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura, Aburame Shino, and Uchiha Sasuke!"
The crowd gave an encouraging applause and the announcer was just about to leave the stage when a kunai hit the ground right where he was about to step. There was a note attached to it, which he quickly read. "My apologies everyone. Accompanying the band will be the same girl whose voice managed to stun an entire crowd silent just a few hours ago at the Fallen Shinobi's farewell concert, Hyuga Hinata!" The audience members, many having been to the concert, were in awe and unsure whether it could be true that the same girl was here in this bar and about to perform again.
Sakura, dragging Sasuke along unwillingly, was the first to approach the stage. "What are you talking about? How are we supposed to play without our instruments?" Sasuke made a sarcastic comment about borrowing from one of the other bands, but Sakura quickly silenced him with a swift kick to the shin. "So it was you!" he cried out in pain.
The announcer gave the pink haired girl a puzzled look. "But your instruments were hand delivered just an hour before you got here." He directed her attention to a silver haired man lying face down on the floor to the left of the stage with a large pack of ice on his back.
"Kakashi-sensei?" she said sounding very confused. The poor man give them a thumbs up for good luck, but his exhaustion made him drop the arm.
Naruto was next to reach the stage with a complaint. "What exactly are we supposed to play? It's not like we have any songs of our own!"
"Kid," the man said, sounding annoyed. "This is amateur night. No one cares if you perform someone else's stuff so long as you don't suck when you're doing it. Got it?"
Next came Hinata with a concern. "What about me? I'm not even part of the band."
"Look!" the man shouted, finally reaching his limit. "The five of you have been scheduled to play so the five of you are going to play! Now stop with the questions and start setting up before this crowd gets violent."
Defeated, the four original band members began setting up while Hinata fidgeted onstage, trying very hard not to look at the audience. Naruto quickly hooked up his guitar to the amplifier, as did Sasuke and Shino. Sakura was having the greatest deal of trouble getting her kit exactly the way she wanted it. This gave Naruto the time he needed to calm Hinata down.
"You okay Hinata-chan?" he asked, though he could clearly see that she was far from okay. She looked like she was about to start crying and that was something Naruto was not prepared to handle. Sure he had chastised others for crying over selfish reasons, but Hinata was different. Hinata was doing the best she could to be strong for them and was failing miserably. He'd never seen anyone as scared as she was right now and he had seen the faces of many people as they were about to die. He couldn't really blame her either. If he had the choice, he'd be on the receiving end of a chidori right now.
"I'm f-fine Naruto-k-kun," she managed to say, sounding just the opposite. She turned to adjust the microphone stand but caught sight of the audience. She quickly turned away and started panting, as if she had just challenged Lee to a Race and won.
"Hinata, it's alright to be afraid. All of us are scared right now and we're trying to deal. I understand that this is a lot harder for you to handle than the rest of us. We knew that sooner or later we were going to have to play in front of a crowd like this. It's unfair that you got thrown into this the way you did, but there's nothing we can do about it right now. After all, you aren't the type of person to abandon your friends. Hinata, you've been supporting us since this whole thing started. It's only been one week, but you are just as much a part of this band as any one of us."
"I'm so scared," she said, a tear managing to escape down her cheek. "What if I mess up and the laugh at me? What if they boo us off the stage because of me? I don't think I could live with myself if that happened."
"Are you kidding Hinata? You have nothing to worry about. We heard you when those bastards played that joke before and you were amazing. Even Sasuke, as stubborn a bastard as he is, admits that you have more talent than he does." It was obvious that this approach was only putting more pressure on Hinata so Naruto decided to try something different. "Hinata, close your eyes."
"W-What?"
"Just close your eyes." When she had done so, he placed his hands on her shoulders and whispered in her ear. "I want you to picture something you want. You don't have to tell me, but picture it in your head. Now, imagine that whatever it is you're thinking of can be yours, and all you have to do is try. There are no crowds, no one to judge you, no one to laugh at you. It's just you and that thing you want more than anything in the world." He started to rub her shoulders in encouragement. "Can you do that?"
She opened her mouth to speak. "I—"
"Hey you!" came a shout from an audience member sitting in the back. "Yeah you! The dummy with the blond hair! Quite feeling up your girlfriend and play something already!"
Naruto was just about to shout back when someone unexpected beat him to the punch. "Shut the hell up you jackass!" Hinata shouted, angry that her moment with Naruto had just come to a screeching halt. "We'll play when we're good and goddamn ready to play!"
"What'd you just say to me you little bitch!"
Much to everyone's surprise, Hinata took the insult like a pro and returned quickly. "You heard me you hairy, ball-less, loud mouth son of a pig! SHUT! THE! HELL! UP! If I hear one more word come out of that filthy mouth of yours, I'm going to let your date know what kind of a disappointment she's in for, should she decide to sleep with you. Get me?" There was an 'oooOOOooo' from the crowd, but the jerk didn't say another word. Hinata then turned to Naruto and planted a quick kiss on his cheek, turning bright pink afterwards. "I'll give it my best shot. Thank you."
"Your," Naruto began to blush when he realized that Hinata had just kissed him, "welcome?"
"Dobe," Sasuke called to Naruto, putting the guitar strap behind his neck and adjusting it for balance. "What do you want to do?"
"Alright," he said taking charge in a serious tone very unlike Naruto. "Does everyone remember the last song they played at the concert? You know, the one where Hinata made her debut? I know we've never played it before, but we're going to try to cover it. Sasuke, you're going to be on rhythm and lead vocals. Hinata, you'll be on chorus, but feel free to shadow Sasuke if you can. Sakura, I want you to speed up things for the verse and then slow it down on the chorus. We have two singers instead of Fallen Shinobi's one and they sing very differently. We may be playing one of their songs, but I want them to remember who we are when we leave. Everyone ready for this?"
"…" (Hell no.)
"What he said," replied Sasuke, "but I doubt that's going to stop us."
With that said, everyone took their places. Naruto closed his eyes and tried to concentrate. Alright you stupid fox. Time to put your money where your mouth is. Slowly, the red charka of the kyubi began to seep from the tattoos on his arms and Naruto felt himself change. Claws began to extend from his fingers, his eyes were now crimson red and looked demonic, and his hair grew in length. Then he started to play the opening solo and the room went silent.
Immediately, the crowd recognized it as part of the farewell ballad Fallen Shinobi had played, but at the same time it sounded like something new. To put it in words, where the hooded guitarist had sounded optimistic with a hint a pessimism, Naruto sounded pessimistic with a hint of optimism. If hope had a sound, Naruto was making it. Where Fallen Shinobi's sound was serious all the way through, Naruto would toy with it and make it sound cheerful for just an instant.
Then, magic happened. Compelled by Naruto's amazing introduction, Hinata found the courage to shadow Sasuke on lead vocals and instead of the two sounds clashing, the two seemed to resonate with one another, Sasuke's angry and almost violent style with Hinata's calm and peaceful sound. The yin and yang outcome was almost surreal to the listeners. Then, following Naruto's instructions, Sakura slowed things down for Hinata's chorus. As Naruto had hoped, by slowing down for the chorus it made Hinata the focal point as well as accentuating the haunting quality of Hinata's voice. By the final lines of the song, half the audience was in tears.
When the song finally ended, the audience was silent and motionless. It wasn't until an anonymous voice from the crowd screamed in approval that the rest finally decided to join in.
"I'm so glad that's finally over with," Hinata said, shaking with a smile on her face.
"Me too," Naruto replied. "Now let's get the hell out of here."
The Hotel Room The Next Morning…Very Early The Next Morning…
"Naruto," a stern voice said in a harsh whisper, trying to shake him awake. "Naruto, wake your ass up!"
It was no use. The boy was out like a light. It took a full bucket of cold, icy water to wake him up, and he was not happy about it. "Sasuke you bastard!" he shouted at who he thought was his assailant. "What the hell is your problem!" Sasuke had a slick grin on his face and pointed to a shy, white-eyed girl with a bucket in her hands and looking suspiciously nervous. "Hinata-chan," Naruto said sounding betrayed. "How could you?"
"Gomen Naruto-kun," she said, bowing several times in apology with the bucket still in hand. "It's just that we were going to get ramen for breakfast and we couldn't wake…"
"RAMEN FOR BREAKFAST!" he shouted, cutting Hinata's lengthy apology short.
"Would you shut up Naruto?" Sakura demanded in a whisper. "The adults are still asleep and we really don't want them tagging along."
"Sorry," he said with a foxy grin. "It's just that I've been traveling around with Jiraiya for so long, I haven't been able to get a decent bowel of ramen for breakfast in a long time. Man, the only thing that could make this day any better was if Sasuke was buying."
"Actually…" the raven haired Uchiha said, letting his voice trail off as he waved his wallet in the air. To Naruto, the clinking of coins in the black pouch was like listening to angels sing. "I think I'm still dreaming," he said with watery eyes. "Quick, somebody pinch me."
There was a loud smack and then a thud when Naruto fell to the ground unconscious. Sakura pressed a foot on his back with a bat in hand (where the hell it came from is beyond me), towering over him in triumph. "Okay, someone is going to have to drag his sorry ass and it aint gonna be me," she concluded, spitting to the side.
Ramen Stand Somewhere Near the Hotel…
"…" (Would you like another bowel of ramen for that second head you've got growing?)
"Hey waiter," the blond said, ignoring Shino's insult about the bump Sakura gave him. "Send over another bowel to the guy with the shades and shit-for-hair. Oh yeah, throw in a roach motel while you're at it."
So the two boys bickered at the counter while Sasuke cried over his thinning wallet. How Sakura managed to convince him to treat the five of them was beyond reason. The pink haired girl had a serious set of puppy dog eyes. One minute Sasuke was saying 'no' and the next he was forking over the money he had earned taking care of Orochimaru's pet snakes. Do you have any idea how long it takes to shovel giant snake shit? Hell, finding food to feed them as well as not getting swallowed was hard enough.
While Hinata was trying to play referee between Shino and Naruto, a hooded figure walked in and plopped himself on a stool next to Sasuke. The group fell silent when they realized it was Fallen Shinobi's mysterious guitarist. Not knowing what to do and not wanting to upset the stranger, they tried to ignore his presence.
Meanwhile On High…
"What's going on God man?" the devil asked curiously seeing that his nemesis was observing something from his seat of power looking very bored.
"Nothing, and that's exactly the problem," he said with a sigh. "I keep watching these kids hoping something interesting happens, but I've got nothing."
"Well," the devil said with a smile on his face, "if there's nothing interesting going on, make something interesting." He looked down to see what the gloomy deity was watching and his smile broadened. "Hey! Now there's an idea with potential. Take a look at that guy with the cloak and hood. Why don't we have a little competition, just you and me? First one to make him take off the damn thing wins. I'll even let you go first. What do you say?"
"Hmm," said the god on the throne. "This sounds strangely familiar, but I'm so bored….what the hey."
Back At The Ramen Stand…
"Hey you guy," an exhausted Naruto said, slumping onto the counter. "Is it just me or is it really hot for this early in the morning."
"As much as I'd like to call you a stupid dobe right now," an equally fatigued Sasuke muttered, "you're absolutely right…I think a part of me just died having said that."
And the temperature continued to increase. The only one in the ramen shop that seemed unaffected was the mysterious guitarist, who actually wrapped the article of clothing even tighter. The kids were starting to remove their cloths and their ramen began to boil and still the cloak and hood remained. Shino thought he saw a bird catch fire as it flew by and Hinata was fighting to keep Sakura from removing her bra even though she was tempted to do the same. Naruto and Sasuke were actually so tired from the heat that they failed to react.
Then the figure finally stood up. However, instead of taking off the cloak and hood, he walked over to the drape that separated the inside of the restaurant from the outside and pushed it aside. Everyone caught by the light of the sun, received an instant tan. The hooded guitarist then turned to face the sun and proceeded to flip it off in defiance. When he was satisfied, he dropped the drape back down and returned to his seat.
Back In the Clouds…
"Ha!" Satan laughed. "Bet you didn't see that one coming. Alright then, let's see what the devil has up his sleeve. Just remember. If I win, you have to take William Hung when he dies and let him join the choir. And none of that back row lip singing either."
Ramen Stand Again…
Relieved that the temperature was finally coming down, the crew decided to finish their meals and get the hell out of their before the ice age decided to rear its ugly head. Sasuke picked up the pepper shaker and began seasoning it to taste. One shake. Two shakes. Right as he forced the shaker down for a third, an ominous wind blew in from nowhere and sent the pepper flakes flying right into Sasuke's face.
"Ah…Ah…Ah…" Everyone looked expectedly at Sasuke, but just when they thought nothing was going to happen, something did.
"AAAHHH-TCHOOOO!" It was the mother of all sneezes and the Uchiha managed to turn to his left, towards the mysterious stranger, just as a mix of snot and gokakyou flames flew from his nose. There was 'ew' and 'huh' and 'oh, if only I had got that on film' heard from everyone in the restaurant, but that all turned to panic when they noticed that the cloaked man had caught on fire. Immediately, he stopped, dropped, and rolled around, but apparently snot flames are hard to rub out.
Not having any other option, the cloaked guitarist was forced to throw off his precious covering. A loud, thunderous 'Son of a Bitch!' rang clearly throughout the world, but nothing was as shocking as the person who stood before them at that moment. Confusion overcame the room and then recognition dawned on Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke.
"Holy Shit!" they cried out as one. "It's—"
End For Now….Evil, aren't I?