Katt Girl & The Harley Kidd: Chapter 6: The Laugh's On You by Chad Sheefel 11/12/19
A lot of things had happened in Gotham over the last week and a half. Oswald Cobblepot and Mayor Shrek were still missing. A rash of burglaries had taken place at multiple jewelry stores. A new gang, called The Red Hood, had been ruled a suspect. The jewelry stores were owned by a major crime boss in Gotham known as Falcone. Falcone had plenty of money, so surely the jewelry stores were fully insured. Plus, there had been other smaller, more petty break-ins, at local cosmetic stores. The two stories didn't seem to be related. There was a new "crazy" rumor going around about a large crocodile that had been stalking fisherman down near the river banks. One witness said that the crocodile tore through a barrel of fish within seconds. Other rumors had still been circulating about the 4 unidentified vigilantes that the police saw on the rooftop of Arkham Asylum. Crime never sleeps in Gotham city.
Chad decided to keep searching for evidence that would prove his theory that Mayor Shrek had been involved in a coverup scandal involving the Cobblepot family. One night he managed to break into the Mayor's Office. All the records had already been taken. The entire office looked like it had been ransacked by every major criminal outlet. He searched the drawers and filing cabinets. There was nothing to be found. He looked under the Mayor's desk. There was a small button near the right side corner. Chad pushed it. Suddenly, a secret cubby hole appeared. It contained several pages of the Mayor's shady business deals.
"This must be what so many people have been looking for," Chad said out loud.
Then he started skimming through the names, and some of the other information.
"Some of this stuff dates back nearly 30 years ago."
Falcone was mentioned several times in the book. It showed all the businesses that Falcone owned. There seemed to be more businesses than Chad could count.
"If I'm going to find the Mayor and Oswald, I should start by questioning some of Falcone's henchmen," Chad said.
Chad made his way across town to a comedy club called The Gotham Laugh House. A few of Falcone's buddies hanged out there. The comedy club was ran by Falcone's nephew, Jimmy Snipes. Jimmy was a useful idiot when it came to running small crimes for his Uncle. Chad entered the club and sat down at the bar. There was a stage with a backdrop picture of Gotham City lit up by moonlight. It also had many lounge chairs placed throughout the joint.
"What can I getcha?" the bartender asked Chad.
"Do you have Diet Pepsi?" Chad replied.
The bartender looked up at Chad and said, "You are kidding me... right?"
Chad played along and said, "Of course I'm kidding around! This is a comedy bar isn't it?"
The bartender wasn't amused. He grabbed a bottle of Bud light, popped off the cap, then sat it in front of Chad.
"There's your Diet Pepsi. That'll be 5 bucks."
Chad looked around the room. He spotted Jimmy Snipes sitting in the corner with a couple of his knockaround guys. Jimmy was arguing with a spunky looking young lady. She was wearing a nice red and black dress, but she didn't seem to look very happy. She got so upset that she splashed a drink in Jimmy's face. His goons stood up. Suddenly, the lights dimmed and the announcer spoke.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, please give a warm round of applause for your host tonight, Harleen Francine Quinzel!"
The lady that just spilled a drink on Jimmy's face made her way to the stage. She took the microphone off of the stand. Then she grabbed the stand and held it up over her shoulder like a baseball bat.
In a screaming voice she yelled, "I QUIT!"
The crowd started laughing.
"I'm serious folks! You couldn't pinch another dime out of my bosses ass if you wanted too!"
The crowd continued to laugh. Harleen got flustered and said, "Oh forget it!"
She threw the microphone down. Then she lifted the microphone stand in the air and started using it to smash the backdrop picture of Gotham City. One of the comedians that was planning on doing his act next was standing near it and had to dodge out of the way. Jimmy Snipes sent his goons up to the stage to tame Harleen. She swung the microphone stand and smashed it against one of the goon's heads. The other goon grabbed her around the neck. She pulled out a small knife from below her blouse and stabbed him in the leg. Jimmy jumped up on stage and tackled Harleen to the ground. He began choking her. Harleen started to feel faint. All of a sudden, Jimmy Snipes got smashed over the head from a bottle of Bud light. Jimmy Snipes turned over and saw Chad standing over him. One of the other goons tried to jump on Chad. Chad pushed him off of the stage into the crowd. Suddenly everyone in the crowd started scuffling. Chad jumped off the stage and punched the goon before he could get up. Harleen laid there on the stage floor trying to catch her breath. Out of nowhere a hand reached out to her.
"Allow me to help you up beautiful," one of the comedians said.
"Gee, thanks puddin'," Harleen replied with a smile.
Then, both Harleen and the comedian exited the building.
The comedian smiled at Harleen and said, "What are you going to do for work now that you've quit this place?"
"I'm actually studying to be a doctor in psychology. As far as money right now, I guess I will just have to improvise." Harleen replied.
"Psychology huh? Do you have any wise words for a failed comedian." He asked.
"Keep your head up toots. Just don't quit your day job." She replied.
The police got to the comedy club and broke up the scrum. Chad had already taken Jimmy Snipes out the back door.
Chad held Jimmy Snipes up by his collar and said, "I know you have information on the whereabouts of Mayor Shrek. You tell me what I need to know or I'm going to mess up your weasel looking face!"
Jimmy told him that he didn't know much. All he knew was that there were a lot of crime bosses that didn't want the penguin or the Mayor to resurface. Something about all the money they made selling their miracle drug. Chad realized that there may be a lot more to this story than meets the eye.
Lola and Gabby sat on Lola's bed. They talked about trying to solve the latest crimes. While, at the same time, waiting for their mom to get home from work.
"Mom sure has been working a lot lately, hasn't she?" Lola asked.
"Yes, this is the third night in a row that she is working overtime. I don't know how she does it." Gabby replied.
"Maybe we should call Wayne Enterprises and see what time she will be home," Lola said.
"I have a better idea," Gabby insisted.
"Let's go check on her ourselves. We could swing by the latest crimes scenes on our way back."
Lola was always excited to go investigate crime scenes. "Heck yeah! Let's go!"
They grabbed their outfits and then off to Wayne Enterprises they went.
Meanwhile, in downtown Gotham, on the main strip, a group of Red Hood gang members were causing a stir. Alarms started going off in many of the department stores. Three cars had been set on fire and civilians were trying to take cover. One of the gang members broke into a jewelry store and tried to grab as much gold and silver as he could. He looked over in the corner and saw a beautiful bright necklace in the showcase. He headed over to it. He lifted a hammer up in the air, then he was ready to smash the glass. All of a sudden, something grabbed the hammer.
He heard a female's voice say, "I believe I will take that necklace tiger."
The man turned around, he was shocked to see that it was a woman dressed in a skin tight, black cat outfit. She pulled the hammer out of his hand.
Then the gang member yelled, "You'll get that necklace over my dead body! I was here first!"
He attempted to pull a knife out of his pocket. She cracked her whip against his wrist before he could get the knife out. Then he tried charging at her. She acrobatically dodged him. He tried again. She is much too fast for him as he stumbled around. Then, with a swift roundhouse, she kicked him into the showcase holding the necklace. It shattered instantly. She took the necklace and made her way out to the street. Three more gang members were waiting for her when she got outside.
"Hey toots! How much for an hour? One of them said as he laughed.
"You wouldn't last eight seconds!" she proclaimed.
They try to attack her. She quickly cracked her whip and hit one of the men on their hiney.
"Yow!" The gang member yelled as he jumped back.
As the other two rushed towards her, she leapt into the air at the exact perfect moment and caused them to run into each other. A couple other gang members saw what was going on in the distance. They started heading that way. She tried to fend them off but there were too many of them. They got the best of her and pinned her to the ground. The leader of the gang stepped in front of her. He grabbed the necklace out of her hand. He kicked her in the stomach.
Then he took out a lead pipe and said, "You're about to be in a world of hurt lady!"
Out of nowhere, a baseball bat cracked against the back of his head. He fell to the ground bleeding.
Another female's voice said, "That ain't no way to treat a lady mister!"
When everyone turned around, they saw a woman that was dressed in a colorful black, white, and red jester's outfit. She was even sporting the jester's hat. She held her bat over her shoulders and began to giggle when she said, "Anybody else wanna step up to the plate?"
The woman in the cat outfit sprung up from the ground. She made claws come out of her fingertips. Then, in one quick strike, she clawed all of the Red Hood gang members across their chests. Blood flew through the air and the men began to flee as quickly as they could.
"Wow! I like your nails sugar!" the harlequin says. "Maybe, since I saved your life, you could hand over that necklace sweetie."
The catwoman clutches them in her hand and said, "Maybe next time clown."
The harlequin didn't like that statement and got into a fighting stance. "What do you have against clowns, you puss in boots?" she asked.
"They are losers, most of them are ugly, and they never make me laugh," said the catwoman.
The harlequin had heard enough. She started swinging her bat. The catwoman started doing flips as she dodges out of the way. Suddenly, they heard sirens. The catwoman swung her whip into the air and grappled it onto a pole.
"We will have to finish this another time clown," the catwoman said as she fled the scene.
The harlequin got upset and started busting car out windows as the cops got closer.
"Not fair! Not fair!" she yelled.
The police cars stopped about 20 yards from her, then they drew their weapons.
"Put the baseball bat down and put your hands in the air!" The police demand.
"Sure thing toots!" she responded while throwing the bat to the ground.
As she was putting her hands in the air, she pushed a button on a detonator. The front of the police cars blew up. Suddenly, the cops were surrounded by fire all around them. It was almost like a war zone. A firefighter showed up seconds later and is able to put most of the fire out. Suddenly, the harlequin was nowhere to be found.
Katt Girl & Harley Kidd finally made it to Wayne Enterprise. They searched the premises. They couldn't seem to find their mom.
"She isn't here," Lola said.
"Oh no! I hope she hasn't left for home already. If so, we are dead meat if we don't make it back before she does."
They began to exit the building area, when all of a sudden they saw a light turn on. They rushed over to the window. It was their mom. She was placing a package in the delivery box, and then sat some papers on a desk.
"Hmm… I wonder what part of the building she was in earlier?" Gabby asked?
"Maybe she stepped out for a bite to eat," Lola said.
"Are you ready to check out some of the crime scenes? Lola asked.
"Sure, let's go check out the jewelry store first." Gabby replied.
They got close to the downtown area, when suddenly, someone spotted them. It was one of the police officers from earlier.
"The jewel thieves are over here!" The police officer yelled.
Gabby looked at Lola and said, "I think it's time to get out of here!"
They ran off as quickly as they could. They got close to home before they stopped running.
Lola was out of breath. "Wha… Wha… What was that all about?"
"I'm not sure," Gabby replied.
"They seemed to think that we were the jewel robbers. Maybe we should just tuck it in for the night and lay low for a day or two."
They headed inside the apartment and lay down. About an hour later, their mom got home. She entered quietly into each of her daughters rooms. She gave them a kiss and then went to bed herself.
The next day they woke up and turned on the news. The reporter said,
"The police are looking for two women today in connection to the local jewelry store robberies. They created a lot of havoc with police officers last night. Tearing up most of downtown. A journalist named Chad Grayson managed to get a picture from a distance. In the picture you can see two women fighting over a necklace. One of them is wearing a cat outfit and the other one is sporting a jester's outfit. The police say they spotted them minutes later fleeing the scene. The two of them seem to match what witnesses say they saw on the rooftop of Arkham Asylum over a week ago. In other news. A new sighting of the large crocodile has been reported to have been seen at the Gotham waterfront."
Gabby turned the television down for a second. "What the heck! That wasn't us in those photos!" I think we are being framed Sis!" Gabby proclaimed.
"We may need to stop going out at night for a little while."
"Dang!" Lola said. "I was really getting used to this kind of life!"
Meanwhile, at the comedy club, you could hear two guys arguing in the back office.
One of the men said, "Come on Jimmy! You need a new host for the comedy club and I would be perfect for the job." Jimmy quickly responded,
"Listen Jack! You are in your mid thirties. Nobody laughs at the kind of jokes that you like to tell anymore. And, when you can't make people laugh, they don't buy tickets. Usually, when they don't laugh with you, the laugh is on you pal!"
"Jimmy, I need the extra money. Can't you give a guy a break?" Jack asked.
"Look, my uncle has a lot of other jobs. Why don't you come by the club later tonight, after hours, and I will fill you in on some of the details."
Chapter Recap: (Chad broke into the Mayor's office and found paperwork that tied Falcone to multiple crimes. He went out to find Mayor Shrek. We were introduced to Harleen Quinsel/Harley Quinn. We were also introduced to comedian Jack Napier. Catwoman/Future Selena made an appearance and fought Harley Quinn. Gabby and Lola are mistaken for Catwoman and Harley Quinn after a jewelry store robbery.)