It was a boring day at school. I wanted something to happen, but nothing would. It was just another 8 hour school day. Math, Science, English, it was the same dull thing every day.
"Rrrriiiee" The obnoxious bell rung. While sounding less and less like a bell each year, the dying cow fart of a noise indicated the school day was over. The long and dull day was finally over. School started at 8:00 AM so I had to get up at 7:00 in the morning, so I was dead tired. Students filed out of the school in large numbers like cattle out of a barn. Perhaps a better example would be a group of undead lurching out of a nightmarish building, as most of us felt that way by the end. The noise of people, books, and bags was quite loud as the groups of friends seemed to try and talk over each other. Things settled down as everyone split apart. I was walking alone, back to my house. This was normal. I never made many friends. The other students were either jerks or couldn't care less about an average guy like me. I could probably make more, but at the time I really didn't care. I was an angsty teen with issues, as we all were at one point. Though I am known to be a smartass which had kept me from being on the lowest rung in the hierarchy of school, that didn't help my athletic or intellectual abilities, or rather, lack thereof.
Houses passed by, red, yellow, blue. Some places hadn't mowed their lawn, and others were kept very trim and neat. The sound of a siren was in the distance. It was probably heading to the retirement home a mile away, again. Turning the corner, and onto the street, I was just a block from home. I entered the house, and a huge wave of fatigue washed over me. I needed to rest, but I walked into the kitchen to grab something quick to eat, first. A bowl of chips, that's good enough. After pouring myself a bowl, I walked to my room and sat on my bed. My eyelids were shutting themselves. When I laid on my bed and stretched, I fell asleep very fast. My half eaten bowl of chips sat on my legs, waiting for the moment I shifted to fall onto the disaster zone I called a floor. I fell asleep very quickly, certainly a personal record for falling asleep. A normal, boring day followed by a good sleep, followed by another normal day. No changes, no excitement in this quiet, dull town I call home.
I had a dream that was strange, to say the least. It involved someone who had a blurry face, me, and a pizza. A pizza was screaming as it was being cut by that blurry faced person. I watched on, only saying one word during the entire dream, "Pizza." When the dream ended, it was black for a moment before I saw some odd lights. These lights floated around, rhythmically moving and bobbing in a strange but visually pleasing dance. A voice seemed to ring out from the dark void, changing what everything looked like. The lights disappeared, and I was in a technicolor void, colors changing constantly. Blue, green, yellow, red, orange, back to blue, a veritable rainbow of what I imagine it looked like when you took LSD.
"Hello." It said. The voice sounded female, but as it was an ethereal being it probably wasn't female at all, nor male. I imagine it's gender was both 'yes' and 'no', because the being was more of an abstract concept than pronouns themselves.
"Uh, hi?" I wondered.
"Our world is in danger. Someone important will die, and we need you to stop it." It said, fairly calm in to despite what it said.
"Wait, what!" I shouted. It got straight to the point, but I didn't get what was happening. Honestly, it could have slowed down and properly explained things. It wasn't even a huge rush, but clearly the benefit of hindsight affects even ethereal deities at times.
"You need to save someone to save the world from disaster. We must change their fate." It responded.
"Huh, uh, what? Save this world? How!" I screamed. There were so many questions, but mostly my mind was blank, it was too much to process at once.
"Not your world, don't worry. Your world is not in danger." It said, trying to reassure me. While it did succeed in stopping my immediate panic, I still had many more questions.
"Why would I save a world if it isn't connected to ours? Is it connected?" I asked.
"It is not connected, but you don't have anything else to do, do you?" It responded.
"No." I said. Thinking back on it, I really let this voice manipulate me. I understand why it did so, because I might not have agreed if it tried to use the usual 'because it's good, and just and right!' speech that I just absolutely know it used on all the others.
"Okay! I will ask you some questions as a personality quiz, answer them honestly, okay?" It said.
"Wait, why do I need to do a personality quiz?" I asked.
"Because humans are all gone in this world, so you have to become another creature based on your personality." It responded. Become another creature? I was hesitant about that.
Once again, if the voice had explained what it meant there, I might not have fully gone along with it. No, I absolutely would have no questions asked. What 14 year old wouldn't want the chance to become a fire breathing dragon, or a Kung Fu Jackal which could shoot a Hadouken?
"Uh, okay. What happens if I don't answer honestly?"
"The creatures of the other world all have certain personalities based on what they are. You don't want to be different, you'd be thrown in a mental ward."
"Okay, then. I won't lie." I agreed. I didn't fully understand what was going on, but I decided to play along anyway. This is where I made a mistake. Fairy Tales failed to teach me to not agree to strange deals before knowing all the details.
"Great, choice five through fourteen said no to becoming other creatures... oops." It said.
"Uh, forget I said that!" It sounded exasperated, like it had been through a lot that day. I knew the feeling.
"I was choice fifteen?" I questioned. It sighed before answering
"You weren't, you were choice twenty out of twenty. One through four and fifteen through eighteen said no to begin with, and nineteen was hit by a car." It admitted.
"What about five though fourteen?" I asked.
"They had various reasons they wouldn't, familial obligations for example. One of them was taking care of their elderly grandfather." It explained. I nodded, or made an approximation of a nod.
"Well, at least I was a choice to begin with. Wait... you want me to change fate, but you probably are connected to fate, right? That's assuming you aren't a manifestation of fate itself, but you are clearly something with a bunch of power. How come you can't have someone from that world to save them? Also, didn't you know I would be the true choice if you are connected to fate?" I questioned.
"I can read the fate of those from this world, but not one from your world. Those from your world have no fate here. Therefore it will be much easier to save the hero with someone from your world. I can't outright change fate, either. That is a power bestowed only to mortals and the gods who came from mortal origin."
"I understand. That's pretty much all of the questions that first popped into my head-wait. Gods from mortal origin?" I asked.
"I- I can't go into more detail. Sorry! Let the quiz begin!" It shouted.
"Hey wait, no!" I shouted. The rainbow void rushed past me in a cascade of colors before abruptly stopping.
"Do you talk a lot?" A voice said. It was a different voice, more monotonous, robotic.
"Hey, I didn't get an answer1 Hello? Hello! Hey! Are you even listening?" I shouted.
The voice repeated itself, "Do you talk a lot?"
"Yeah, even in my sleep according to my family." I grumbled, conceptually crossing my bodiless arms.
"Do you get tired easily?"
"As much a normal person." I responded. They weren't kidding about a personality quiz.
"Do you think you have too much of energy?"
"No." I said. I felt I had enough energy for what I needed.
Thinking back on it, I think I was just too tired and angry at the time, but I certainly answered honestly. I didn't think I had too much.
"If you see a box labeled 'Do not open, contents are deadly', what do you do?"
"Open it." I stated. Even years down the line, this answer hasn't changed.
"Do you consider yourself 'brave'?"
"No, I am hasty and curious." I admitted.
"Do you sleep with a night light?"
"I sleep with the anti-light on, otherwise known as the dark. So no I do not." I said, becoming irritated at this voice. The monotone voice wasn't ear grating, but the lack of emotion was getting on my nerves, because I knew I couldn't yell at it or annoy it.
"Do you think you are good at math?"
"Kinda?" I admitted.
"If a hand comes out of the toilet, what do you do?"
"Ask if it needs paper." I responded.
"What kinds of jokes do you like?"
"Good jokes." I said. I would have rolled my eyes, but being a bodiless consciousness floating in an infinite rainbow void made that impossible.
"Are you a boy or a girl?"
"Yes."
"Are you a boy or a girl?" It asked again.
"Fourteen year old male." I responded. The female voice from before returned, acting as though it had never left. Though to be fair, it's possible it never did leave.
"You seem to be the sassy kind of personality. You want friends, but people don't like you because you run your mouth to much. You are certainly honest, but that is not always a good thing. A sassy person like you would be a... Treecko!" She exclaimed. She was clearly annoyed by my sarcasm. I wasn't certain how wise it was to annoy what could be the manifestation of a divine entity, but being fourteen I decided it was funny anyway.
"Okay? What is that?" I asked.
"It's a creature from our world." The voice responded.
"Ah." I said. I understood, to a point, what it was saying.
"Normally we erase memories, but I know you understand that you can't blurt out your mission. It also dawned on us that you wouldn't be taken seriously anyway. Your adventure begins now." It said. An extremely bright light filled my eyes, filling the swirling technicolor void with a shining white light. This sudden light was followed by an even more abrupt darkness. Everything felt odd, as if the world were spinning. Something washed over me, a calm, and then a breeze. I felt like I was on my back, with a small breeze hitting my side. It was relaxing. However, soon after I heard a voice, disrupting the tranquility. It wasn't the same voice, and it seemed worried. "Hey, are you okay?" It asked.
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Updating this! Woo! Also of note "dying cow fart" isn't my joke, it was my art teacher in middle school who described the noise our "bell" made like that, so thank you for being a wonderfully creative person. I wish I could be half as artistic and witty as you someday.
"I would have rolled my eyes, but being a bodiless consciousness floating in an infinite rainbow void made that impossible." Somehow I didn't think I'd be writing that down, ever. Hahahah, sometimes you surprise yourself with the weird, context-driven goop that comes out when writing. Honestly, there's a lot of sentences in this chapter which I never thought I'd get the chance to write down.
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