It's as if I think one really long chapter makes up for the ridiculously long wait you all had to endure. Aside from the grammatical errors I'm known for, I think this chapter came out nicely with a little bit of everything. Let's see: Sex, violence, and Spanish. Yup, I have everything. The song in Spanish is Cancion de Mariachi from the Desperado movie. If you are expecting a translation for the Spanish, I'm sorry to say there won't be any. If Sasuke and Sakura can't understand, then it's only fair that my readers share their pain (unless of course you're bilingual). Besides, my Spanish sucks anyways. Just know that I'm not only butchering one language, but two.

I think this chapter is the first one to actually warrant the M rating. Keep that in mind as you read and I'm sorry if I've offended anyone. Sorry that I couldn't see the look on your faces! Just kidding. But seriously, I'm just trying to have fun with this. For the record the long pause was caused when I realized how hard it was for a guy like me to describe sound. My Music professor couldn't do a good job of it and he has a freakin' PhD in it. Just plug in you're own music to fill in the gaps.

For the record, I don't own jack. This includes Naruto, Desperado (both the medium and the rights), the actors whose names I ripped off (though if you don't catch the reference there really wasn't any point in me adding this), or the rights to procreation (that belongs to creationists). Read, Review and Enjoy in whichever order you want. But I strongly encourage reviewing.

Of Bongos and Sex Kittens

Shino wandered through the forest, doing his best to follow the directions his exiled Uncle Raid had given him. He was failing miserably as the so-called 'map,' was nothing more than an arrow scribbled on a piece of paper. What the hell! To begin with, the poor Aburame clan member had walked in a circle for three hours before passing out from dizziness (the arrow had been pointing to the left). When he came to and picked the slip of paper off the floor, the arrow had magically changed direction. He was not sure exactly how long he had been walking and the denseness of the trees above him made it difficult to tell whether it was day or night. Besides, this alone time gave him the opportunity he needed to think.

Shino had only joined this band so that he could jam. If he knew that his band mates would consist of an idiot, an eternally PMSing she-devil, a self centered asshole, and his bipolar teammate, Shino would have traded in his bass for a pair ballet slippers. Instead, the number of names on Shino's People-To-Kill list was growing day after day. He patted his head where his once glorious fro once adorned itself only to cringe when he felt the tangles of dreads. How dare that sadistic whore take away the one thing he had any joy in? Then there was Naruto, the ever moronic blond who could not for the life of him figure out that Hinata, his usually sweet and innocent teammate, who deserved everything that she wanted simply because she was Hinata, had a crush on him. He and Kiba had been through a lot trying to console the frustrated teenage girl and as a result, Shino held a great deal of resentment for the baka.

A shy girl with an unrequited crush going through her cycle is a pain in the ass to deal with.

A number of other genin had managed to sneak their way into bug-boy's bad side. Chouji had tried stealing some of Shino's friends in an attempt to make himself chocolate covered insects, Neji and Sasuke were jack-asses and wouldn't let Shino into their club, Lee was a pansy ass pain in the ass, Ten-Ten wouldn't go out with him, and who didn't want to kill Ino? However, his hate for all these irritating flytraps were dwarfed in comparison to the seething enmity he harbored for that disgrace of an uncle of his. Where the hell was he supposed to be going!

Thinking of all the people that made his life hard to bear only strengthened his annoyance at the thick foliage around him. He took out a kunai and began hacking at the shrubs and ferns, wondering where he was heading and wishing he had brought a machete instead. He increased his pace, wanting to get out of the forest as soon as possible, when he realized how 'not' solid the ground was. He looked down and saw that there was in fact no ground. He had just walked over a cliff and was defying the most basic law of gravity: 'Shit falls down.' But this is a fanfic about an anime, one about ninja's for crying out loud. Unfortunately, it seemed that coming to the realization about how fucked he was made everything snap back into its natural order. As Shino fell, he caught sight of a vine that was conveniently hanging off the edge of the cliff and grabbed it before it was out of reach.

If Shino survived and ever saw Raid again, he was so going to shove his foot up that asshole's ass. Wait, what?

Twenty Miles West of the Dingy Bar…

Sakura and her obedient pet Sasuke were entering the village Sye and Rin had directed them to. It seemed pretty peaceful and ordinary and not a place where they would be able to learn anything useful to help them beat Aka-Sue-Me's. Sasuke was muttering something about wishing he had just stayed hidden in Orochimaru's underground Neverland….I mean hideout. Sakura on the other hand seemed to be enjoying herself as she was experiencing one of those rare occasions when her hormones and violence fetish were not in control of her actions. From time to time, Sasuke had caught her looking at him to which she would quickly turn away blushing. Mistaking her embarrassment for annoyance, Sasuke quickly brought a hand over his precious family jewels for fear that she might smash them into dust out of retribution.

Their first stop, being as Sasuke was told to wait for nightfall and it was still midday, was Sakura's destination. They stopped in front of a shabby-looking two story building that seemed to be on the verge of crumbling down and Sakura took out the small scroll with their instructions.

"Head twenty miles west until you reach a village" – check

"Walk to the third intersection and take a right" – check

"Do two somersaults and the electric slide" – check

"Slap Sasuke upside the head for taking things so literally" – check…check…check…check

"Walk up to the fifth building on the left. If it looks like only hobos would live there then you are where you need to be. There should be a sign that says Matt's House of Drums just in case."

Sasuke could not see a sign anywhere on the building but noticed a large rectangular sheet of metal laying flat on the ground, with a pair of legs sticking out from under it. He lifted the sign in order to see if the poor bastard was still alive but quickly flung it back down, covering his noise and trying desperately not to hurl from the stench. He told Sakura that it was the right place and the guy smelled like he had died a few days ago. He walked much closer to Sakura than he had been previously, making the pink haired girl feel like a million bucks. Little did she know that Sasuke was doing his best to exchange the smell of rotting flesh with the less revolting scent of doggy shampoo.

Many details caught them by surprise when they entered the building. Where on the outside the building had looked like a rundown shack, the inside looked like a mansion owned by the country's wealthiest snob. The mahogany floor was polished so well that the two shinobi could see their reflections, making Sasuke's libido wish Sakura was still donning her trademark skirt. There was an incredible amount of space and all around them were glass cases with an assortment of different types of drums.

But the most shocking sight was what the two of them saw in the center of everything with a spotlight shining directly over it: A naked man sitting cross-legged on the floor with a bongo drum in his lap. Sasuke, who had seen his entire clan dead with their faces in the dirt, had that he had seen the last of things that could scare him. Apparently he was wrong. However, the high pitched shriek that pierced the room was not his own. Sakura was freaking out.

What happened next was even more surprising than the naked man sitting on the floor with a bongo. In the midst of her screaming, Sakura felt Sasuke place a warm hand on the back of her head, which brought her into what she saw as a passionate embrace with her face embedded in Sasuke's chest to protect her from the disturbing sight. What Sasuke had been trying to do was smother the source of the infernal sound that threatened to make his head explode.

The man on the floor took a finger and violently tried to clear his ear canal. He was a moderately built middle age man with pale skin, light brown hair, and a rugged appearance. Most women would have found him attractive, but let's just say he wasn't Sakura's type. He got up to see if the girl needed some medical, or perhaps psychological, help but was politely stopped by the raven haired boy.

"Would you put some goddamned pants on for fuck's sake!"

It was as if the boy's words had been a bite off the fruit that fell from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (though you have to wonder why God in all his wisdom would make such a freakishly long name for a plant) because the manly instantly became aware of his lack of dress. He changed direction and grabbed a silk robe fit for a king which had been hanging on coat rack behind him. He draped it over his frame before heading back to the scarred teenagers.

"I apologize for my state of undress. I wasn't expecting company." His accent sounded like nothing either had ever heard before. After having been stoned the night before, they suspected that he was probably high right now. "I'm Makanohe Mato. Just call me Matt." (AN: Thank you if you get the reference)

There was a muffled sound from Sasuke's chest so the boy decided it would be wise to give the girl some air lest he suffocate with her. She gasped violently but did not divert her eyes from Sasuke until he reassured her that the naked man was no longer naked.

"Some of the band members of Fallen Shinobi sent us here to learn about what it takes to a make a good rock and roll band," Sakura said in uncharacteristic unease.

"Well," the man said scratching his head, "if you want to be good you're in the wrong place. Now if you want to fucking rock, I'm at your service." He walked over to the couple and eyed them both. When he was done with his examination he extended an open hand to Sakura. "You most be the hopeful drummer. It's a pleasure to meet you Miss…"

Sakura was bewildered that the man had instantly approached her as being the drummer. When she realized that Matt was still waiting on her to introduce herself, she snapped out of her daze and shook his hand. "Sakura. How did you know that I was the drummer? Wouldn't you have assumed the drummer would be a guy?"

"Lady, I play the bongos naked. Of course I know a drummer when I see one and this scrawny dude," he turned to Sasuke, "no offense," turned back to Sakura, "is no drummer."

"Damn straight," muttered the offended boy.

"And if Fallen Shinobi sent you then I would 'assume' they gave you proof. I'm not a cheap tutor but I'd do anything for those cats." For a moment he drifted off to his own fantasies and unconsciously added, "And oh the things I would do to that fine guitarist."

"Who, Maiku?" asked the bewildered Sasuke, disturbed at the mental image of the two older men having a naked jam session together.

"No you fruity little boy, I'm talking about that hot chick that's always wearing a robe. From the moment she walked through those doors I knew she was a looker even if she looked like the Grim Reaper. It's a damn shame I'm the only one who can see through the threads to the inner beauty. Wait, I take that back. That god of men who writes the Ichi Ichi series most definitely has the sight to see what I do."

Sasuke and Sakura groaned at the mention of their dimwitted partner's perverted mentor. The idea that he could see something they could not made them feel like insignificant peons (hehehe…pee ons). But they had more important things to take care of before the sun went down.

"So what exactly can you teach me to make me better at playing drums?"

"What can I teach you?" he asked, somewhat stunned by the girl's question. "Jack shit. What I can do is give you the passion you need to figure it out for yourself and that's all that really matters."

Sakura was speechless that this so-called teacher had no intention of teaching her anything and found herself furious at Sye for wasting her time sending her here. She turned around to leave and Sasuke was inclined to join her of his own free will. However, she stopped when she heard the sound of a beating drum coming from behind her. It sounded very little like the drum kit she had grown accustomed to playing with and she found the sensation of listening to it to be divine, like a gift from God.

In Heaven…

"Your welcome," came the Almighty voice from the sky.

Back to Reality…

It was extremely fast paced but the rhythm was there, making her want to dance a tribal ninja dance. She wondered why Sasuke was looking at her funny when she realized that little by little she was beginning to move to the beat, first as nothing more than a nod of the head, then a swaying of the hips, and finally the bending of the knees. The music had her.

Matt ended his random bongo play with a forceful slap midway between the rim and the center of the drum and had a sly grin on his face. "Where do you think you're going little lady?"

"You have my attention."

"Why thank you," he said with a bow. "Now about that proof of who sent you." He unfolded the scroll Sakura handed to him and read his portion of it, nodding in affirmation to the instruction Sye had left him in order to better help him help her. "It seems you, little missy, resent playing drums because you're a girl. Is that right?" Insert Sakura nodding. "Well shoot, what kind of an excuse is that. Girls make the best kind of drummers. Hiding behind a large set of drums gives us dudes a chance to picture you sitting there naked and the fact is that since not many ladies play the drums, you're a much appreciated commodity."

"How flattering," she said sarcastically.

"Here's what we'll do. Since you two lovebirds are attached at the hip and have different things to accomplish in less than a week, you'll start with me at noon and then at nightfall you'll do you're little shindig across the street. Now, as for my tutelage, I won't be letting you touch a drumstick until you learn to appreciate feeling the rhythm with you're body. In other words, you'll start off playing the bongo, the conga drum, and some box drums with your hands before we move on.

"However, I must warn you that once you get the feel for it, it will be extremely hard to want to drum with anything else. As I always say, 'Once you play bongo, you can't go wrong-o.' Do we have a deal?"

"Deal," she returned.

"Alright," he said slapping his hands together with an eager grin. "You'll be playing the bongo naked in no time."

At that moment, Sasuke fainted.

Wherever The Hell Shino Is…

Although it had taken a considerable amount of effort, Shino had finally made it out of the blasted forest. His clothes were tattered and dirty, there were twigs in his dreads, and the blisters on his feet now had blisters of their own. He was dehydrated and hungry and, crawling on his hands and knees, proceeded to look for any signs of life. After a few minutes of aimless crawling, he happened upon a modest home. Not able to stand, lift his hand, or speak, he inched his way to the foot of the door and knocked on it with his head. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

What Shino did not realize was that banging you head against something as solid as, oh I don't know, a freaking door, might cause you to lose consciousness. Shino blacked out and when he woke up he was on a very comfortable bed in a dark room. Okay the room was pretty bright, but it was hard to tell since he was still wearing his trademark shades. His only complaint was how chilly the room seemed, but then that would only be natural as he was no longer wearing anything.

"!" (Where the fuck did my clothes go!)

"Oh, you're awake," said a very feminine voice from another room. "If you're wondering about your clothes, I'm having them washed. You were filthy when you came in here so you should probably take a bath. A relative of yours came by a few hours ago and dropped off a change of clothes for you though I have no idea how he knew you'd end up here."

"…" (Really? I've been walking for half a fucking day! How'd he get here so fast?)

"Half a day? He said he was stopping by from the nearby concert village. It's just over this hill."

Shino could not believe what she had just revealed to him. Not caring about his own nudity, he rushed out of the house to confirm if what she said was true. When he saw the lights of several bars and hotels, he dropped to his knees and raised his fists to the heavens, swearing that he would have his vengeance. When he was done making a spectacle of himself, he got up and headed back inside but was greeted by a rather red-faced girl. A very hot red-faced girl. Well, not so much a girl as a very well-endowed twenty year old, with short black hair and a single streak of purple.

"I-I-I-I,' she stammered as she looked away in embarrassment, though that did not stop her from taken a few more last chance glances. "I got the bath ready for you. Feel free to make yourself at home." With that she quickly retreated inside. It all happened so fast that Shino didn't get a chance to react to being seen naked, and by the hottest chick he had ever seen no less. Then he looked down and began shouting obscenities at what he saw. Like I said before, it was pretty damn cold.

He went inside, grabbed the extra set of clothes, and headed for the bath. The warm water was soothing and he was equally pleased that his manhood was regaining its former glory. He knew he would eventually have to apologize to his hostess for his display, but for now all he wanted to do was enjoy this one moment of relaxation. However, all good things come to an end and even Shino knew when to call it quits. The last thing he needed was a body full of drowned insects.

He dried himself off and dressed himself in the change of clothes his bastard relative left him. It was nothing more than a simple t-shirt and black sweatpants. Raid didn't even have enough courtesy to leave him a pair of boxers or anything. He let out a silent sigh and opened the door. Not knowing where he should go, he returned to the room he had woken up in, but his jaw hit the floor when he saw what was waiting for him.

The young woman who had graciously dragged him into her home, undressed him, washed his clothes, and prepared a bath for him was now laying sideways on the bed wearing nothing more than a very sexy see-through purple nighty. She started giggling, which confused the hell out of Shino until he realized that he his little buddy had pitched a tent. His temptress gave him a very innocent smile and motioned for him to sit next to her.

Shino hesitated. He was a virgin after all and although he could handle killer puppets, guys shooting air out of their hands, and a psycho hokage, a half naked woman with the intention of rocking his world was scary. It was only for a moment, however, as his third leg convinced the other two to walk over to the girl and sit down on the bed.

"Well," she started nervously, "you're not very tall and you're pretty pale."

"…" (What the fuck?)

"But you look like you can pass for the strong silent type," she added with a pretty smile. It quickly vanished as she became nervous about what she was about to do. "Look, I haven't had any since my boyfriend and I broke up and this is an itch that demands scratching. But you look pretty young so I don't want to force you into anything you're not ready for."

Shino had a lot to think about and that fact alone made him realize what a complete dork he was. This was free sex and he has to think about it? Most people would have been in and out in less than ten seconds, completely satisfied with themselves, and Shino was actually thinking. Well, you can't teach a dull dog good tricks. Shino decided to find out more about her before he went through with anything. If he was okay with everything he heard, he'd let her have her way with him until the sun rose.

"…" (Why did you and your boyfriend break up?)

"That's a little personal, don't you think?"

"…" (So is what you we're about to do. I just want to know a little bit more about you. You don't have to tell me if you feel uncomfortable.)

"It's not a very pretty story for me, but if it helps you feel easier about this I'll tell you. I run a booth in the village and I met singer of one of the bands. He was cute but it was his persistence and charm that one me over. He'd send me roses, sing me love songs outside my window, and flattered me till I blushed. I was head over heels for him and I thought he felt the same for me. That's why it only took me a few months before I felt comfortable enough to…you know. I'll probably remember that night for as long as I live. He was my first and only and he told me I was his. What a crock of shit.

"We had been dating for a couple of years, but he never proposed to me. I was always the one making excuses for him. 'He's too busy with touring,' or 'Maybe it's still too soon.' Little by little he stopped doing all the things I loved about him. No more roses showed up at my stand, no more love songs to keep my up at night, and although the sex was as good as it ever was, that's all he wanted when he came by my door. Then one day a woman came knocking and when I opened the door to see who it was, she attacked me. I had to defend myself for what seemed like an eternity before she gave me even the slightest hint of why she was doing it.

"That's when I learned that the love of my life had been living another life behind my back. The woman was the mother of two of his children and had found out about his life with me when a friend of hers saw him kissing me at my booth. I did my best to reassure her that I had no idea that he had a family of his own and that if I had, it never would have gone as far as it did. I cried more at that moment than on the day both my parents had died and I had loved them deeply.

The next time I saw him, I lashed out at him as badly as the woman had done to me. I broke his jaw, his arm, and I'm pretty sure he lost the ability to bear children after leaving my doors. He made several attempts to patch things up with me but I wasn't biting. That was the end of us."

"…" (How long ago did this happen?)

"Two years ago."

"!" (Two years!)

"I don't know," she said, sounding very frustrated. She flung herself backwards onto the bad and began staring at the ceiling. "I guess it was hard for me to trust someone again after being lied to like that. I felt so used, but I can't suppress this urge anymore." She turned to Shino with a pleading look in her eyes and she looked as if she were on the verge of tears. "I don't mean to seem this emotionally fucked up but I really need this. I don't care if you're inexperienced or if it doesn't last long, just-"

She was abruptly cut off when Shino placed two fingers over her lips. He was looking down on her, eyes hidden behind dark glasses and an emotionless smile. When he saw that he had her full and undivided attention, he removed his hand from her lips. Taking both hands, he brought them two his temples and gently clasped his sunglasses in his fingers. He slowly took them off, only to reveal closed eyes as if to keep the girl in suspense. Then he opened his eyes and all seemed right with the world.

God's House…

"Quick, gather the choir of angels!" Jesus shouted at his messenger cherub. "I should be smelling freshly baked cookies! Where are my freshly baked cookies! And will someone signal a freakin' beam of holy light to illuminate the kid already! We're losing momentum here!"

Satan was abruptly woken up from his middle of the night nap and was he pissed. "What in hell, I mean heaven, is going on! Hey God, what's the big idea!"

"Nothing much," the Almighty deity returned. "Just my son's directorial debut."

Back to Shino, Shall We…

The girl was completely awestruck by Shino's eyes. Shino took this opportunity to stroke her cheek gently with one hand as he supported himself on the bed with the other. He lowered himself slowly, lest he startle her into a change of heart. They were almost nose to nose when Shino paused, signaling the girl to give some sort of sign that she would consent to what he intended. When she closed her eyes without pulling back, Shino made his move.

He gently brushed his lips against hers and then ran his tongue over his upper lip, licking both his lip and hers simultaneously. As eager as she was, Shino made sure that he was in control of the situation. She would have plenty of time later to take the reigns, but for now the kunai was in his holster. Finally, he committed himself fully to the kiss and found that he rather enjoyed the taste of her. The sounds coming from her were intoxicating and the sensation he received from her nails gently raking at his chest was electric. One of his own hands had slid down a shoulder strap of the night piece she wore and then gently began caressing her smooth skin. After a few minutes, he pulled away just enough for her to catch her breath.

"…" (My name is Aburame Shino. You never did tell me yours.)

"Mika," she said, flustered and out of breath. She was amazed that someone so young could make her feel the way she did at that moment. If she could read minds, she would have known that Shino was just as surprised with the way he was handling things. "Makoto Mika."

"…" (It's nice to meet you Mika-chan. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that, but it would be an honor…no, it would be my pleasure to spend the night with you. However, I have one condition. If you ever need someone to help you with these 'urges,' I want you to come to me first. You're a beautiful and kind woman. I wouldn't want people getting the wrong idea about you simply because you have needs that demand your attention.)

Shino had opposing intentions when he presented her with his condition, but both were equally valid. The considerate side of Shino honestly wanted to comfort her by being the caring man in her life that her ex-boyfriend could not. His downright horny side still couldn't get over how hot she was and if he had a chance of making this more than just a one time deal, then damn it, he was going to take. Mika suspected that the latter might be his true intention, but something in his warm and gentle eyes told her that there was more to it than sex. She saw something she could trust in them and it removed all doubt from her mind.

"Okay. But the same goes for you. If you're going to have me commit to you, young as you are, then you have to have eyes only for me. I don't want another angry misses breaking down my door in the middle of the night wondering where her husband is."

"…" (Deal) he said. (But don't be so quick to sell me short. I may not have any experience, but I get the feeling that I might be a natural at this.)

He lowered himself once more and initiated a heated kiss and his hand gently toyed with one of her breasts, eliciting a purring sound and causing the lower half of her body to jerk up in excitement, pressing into him. He broke the kiss momentarily and looked at her with a sly smirk that would have made Sasuke jealous.

"You won't remember your own name when I'm done with you."

Castle in the Skies…

"Cue the Love Making music!"

Archangel Michael picks up a bass and begins a porno solo. Boom Chika Boom Chika Bow Wow. Sorry kids. Any more details and I'd have to post this on adult fan fiction. I'm sure the truly devoted sex connoisseurs can use their own imagination to fill in the details.

To The Village with the House of Drums…

Sakura and Sasuke made their way out of Matt's place, Sakura feeling like she had found her passion in life and Sasuke satisfied with Sakura being happy. Maybe now she wouldn't hit him as often. Their next stop was a concert club where they were supposed to listen to a certain band play. Sasuke had been given a sealed scroll to hand to the front man and had been instructed not to open it on penalty of death. That fact alone made Sasuke want to unseal it, just to spite Kakashi's old teammate.

The bar was the only bar in the village without a name and since it was directly across from Matt's house, they had no trouble finding it. It was surprisingly packed for being in such a small village. When they saw that several of the patrons were wearing shinobi headbands, they realized that people were commuting to see whatever it was the two teenagers were supposed to. It was a little irritating that Rin had not given them the name of the band, but she had said it would be easy to figure out who they were supposed to meet.

The music that filled the bar was not what either of them expected. The most noticeable feature that was new for them was that you could actually dance to it. Not the jumping up and down or the pushing and shoving kind they had experience at the concert, but really shook your money maker, move you feet and groove kind of music. Sakura instantly recognize they sound of a conga rhythm and heard keyboarding in place of a guitar. Sasuke asked what kind of music they were listening to, but was puzzled when the answer was Latin music.

What the hell was Latin music!

A few songs were played, some of them with vocalists singing a language neither of them knew and others with no real words except for loud melodic shouts. Sasuke was particularly interested in the one performer who simply played a very elaborate guitar solo while a woman danced in a colorful dress by tapping her feet in rapid succession and holding up the frills of her dress so that the audience could see the movement of her feet.

It wasn't long before they were replaced by a group of men clad in black suit-style clothing carrying an assortment of instruments: a couple of trumpets, a large guitar like instrument that Sasuke took for an acoustic bass, and a couple of classical guitars. Silver buttons were sown into the suits and underneath their jackets and each member wore a frilly white shirt, with the ends of the sleeves sticking out of the jacket sleeves. The most notable part of their outfits was the large, black bowl hats they wore.

The entire house erupted in cheers and whistling. Sasuke took this to be the proof that they were the band he had come to see but was skeptical about getting anything useful from it. That was when a young man, no older than the two teenagers, walked on stage wearing the same attire minus the hat carrying a guitar. His skin was tan and his hair was long enough to be tied into a tail. The woman, from the young girls to the old grandmas, burst into fawning.

"Buenas noches a todos," he said in the language that most of the music had been in, "y a las mujeres…" the young man winked at the audience and pursed his lips together in kissing fashion. One of the girls near the front fainted.

"Vamos a empezar," was the last thing he said before the house lights died down and the spotlight was placed at the front of the bar. The song began with the teenager playing a very simple intro melody, followed by the rest of the band joining in. The additional guitars played rhythm in perfect sync with one another, the bass line was fairly linear but was a nice accompaniment, while the trumpets acted a ornamentation the overall performance. When the young man began to sing, the music changed slightly but never lost its vigor.

'Soy un hombre muy honrado, Que me gusta lo mejor
Las mujeres no me faltan, Ni al dinero, ni el amor.

'Jineteando en mi caballo, Por la sierra yo me voy
Las estrellas y la luna, Ellas me dicen donde voy'

The chorus followed and the instrumentalists joined in on the vocals.

'Ay, ay, ay, ay
Ay, ay, mi amor
Ay, mi morena
De mi corazon'

The next verse was sung the same as the first, but it mattered very little to Sasuke. He was extremely pissed that he couldn't understand the lyrics, just the way about ninety percent of my readers are. The young man was now walking amongst the crowd as if the thickness and the crowding meant nothing to him. All eyes were on him but no one kept too close as to interfere with his performance.

'Me gusta tocar guitarra, me gusta cantar el son
Mariachi me acompana, quando canto my cancion.

'Me gustan tomar mis copas, aguardiente es lo mejor
Tambien el tequilla blanca, con su sal le da sabor.'

'Ay, ay, ay, ay
Ay, ay, mi amor
Ay, mi morena
De mi Corazon'

When the chorus ended, the singer had already jumped onto the bar counter and had begun what Sasuke and Sakura had thought to be his guitar solo. However, midway through the section the rest of the band played with him. It was similar to the way the other man had played as the woman had danced around him only this teenager was both musician and dancer. As he stomped his feet, many drinks bounced to the beat, many spilling over and when the section was ended, he kicked one man's glass mug and sent it smashing against a wall.

The music died down but the song was not over yet. The young performer jumped off the bar counter effortlessly and continued to know the rhythm of the song on the wood of his guitar and continued to sing more or less in acapella, with one of the onstage guitarists taking over his role on lead guitar temporarily. All eyes were on him and his eyes had caught sight of Sakura. He let the guitar hang off to his side, supported by the shoulder strap attached to it as he approached the pink haired girl and stared flirtingly into her eyes.

'Me gusta tocar guitarra, me gusta cantar el son
Mariachi me acompana, quando canto my cancion.'

The quite portion of this final verse was done quietly and quickly, but Sakura was putty by the end of it. Once the acapella piece was through, the suave teenager immediately brought the guitar into his hands and continued to play as usual, still in the midst of the crowd.

'Me gustan tomar mis copas, aguardiente es lo mejor
Tambien el tequilla blanca, con su sal le da sabor.'

'Ay, ay, ay, ay
Ay, ay, mi amor
Ay, mi morena
De mi Corazon'

'Ay, ay, ay, ay
Ay, ay, mi amor
Ay, mi morena
De mi Coraz-o-o-o-o-o-o-n'

The place burst into applause and the young man made his way back on stage to rejoin the other members of his band. He took a bow and motioned for everyone to quite down. They eagerly complied.

"Gracias, gracias! Ojalá que tuviéramos mas tiempo pero hay otras cosas que tengo que hacer. Estaremos aqui a lo mismo tiempo mañana. Hasta luego my bitches!" He then turned his attention to Sasuke and the flustered girl in his arms. "I'll see you two out back in ten minutes."

Out Back Ten Minutes Later…

The sound of 'Latin' music could be heard from the interior of the building even outside, but Sasuke endured it. Sakura was still a brainless cadaver after her encounter with the singer's lustful approach and Sasuke was glad that the link between them was allowing him to maintain his own clearness of mind. If he had been forced to fawn over the guy simply because Sakura was, he would have had to kill himself.

At that moment a metal door popped open and out walked the front man wearing torn pants, a Ramón T-shirt, and a green bandana folded into a head band. His hands were in his pocket and he stared at Sasuke without emotion, waiting for them to make their introductions first.

"We were sent by Fallen Shinobi to learn from you. They gave us a scroll to give you to prove it." Sasuke reached inside his leather jacket to retrieve the parcel but went as cold as ice when he discovered it was gone. Had he really lost it? The almighty Uchiha, survivor and star pupil of Orochimaru, had lost track of something?

"You mean this?" the young man said, holding up the now unsealed scroll. "My range of skills extends beyond the boundaries of music. Finding ways to survive when no one is looking out for you can be pretty tough, but you always remember what you learn. You must be Sasuke. My name's Antonio"

"Do you have a nickname I can use instead? Antoine or Tony?"

"No, pendejo. My name's Antonio. You wouldn't want me calling you Sassy or Uke, would you?"

"Fair enough," he said wrinkling his nose at the thought of being called Uke. "Now how did you take that from me without me realizing it."

"Oh, that was a piece of cake. When I approached your girlfriend, you moved in as if you were trying to get me to back off. You were so concerned for her that you didn't see my hand sneak into your jacket and pull it out. I just hid it behind the neck of my guitar afterwards and read it backstage."

"She's not my fucking girlfriend."

"Damn right I'm not your fucking girlfriend!" said the pink haired girl behind him. "And if you keep talking like that about the women around you, you won't have any kind of girlfriend."

Sasuke stiffened at the realization that Sakura's good mood had returned to its usual pissed off and furious setting. However, the girl was doing her best to contain her rage. After all, there is no point in committing assault if there are witnesses. Antonio merely laughed at the two of them.

"You know," he said between fits of hysteria, "for the two of you not dating, you sure act like an old married couple. My old man and mother used to argue like that all the time, at least from what I can remember." His laughter died down at his own mention of his family and his face returned to the emotionless state it had been in previously. "I guess I should show you where you'll be staying for the next few days. Follow me."

Antonio led them to the far end of the village. The buildings there were all old and on the verge of collapsing, but that was what they had thought when they went to Matt's place. They figured it would be the same deal but were dead wrong. Antonio's place, though very spacious, was a disheveled and worn as the outside. The floors creaked with every step and there was a large hole in the wall that lead to the outside opposite the entrance.

"This place is a dump," Sasuke said, not so much giving his opinion as telling a fact.

"Not all of us can inherit a clan's fortune. I share this place with my band and there's plenty of room for all of us. The plumbing works, it keeps us dry when it rains, and there are a few cats to take care of the rodent problems. It may not be much, but it's a home." He motioned to a loveseat sofa and told the two to sit down. He asked if they wanted anything to drink but warned them that all he had was beer. The both accepted his offer and waited patiently for him to return.

"You didn't have to be so blunt," Sakura criticized.

"What do you want from me? All I did was tell the truth. Besides, he seems perfectly fine with living in a dump."

"And who are you to say anything about how people live. You were born into an elite clan and then had the entire complex signed over to your name when…well, you know. You've been catered to your entire life, so where do you get off looking down on someone who can wipe his own ass. Besides, you're supposed to be getting him to teach you what you need to know to improve and I doubt he'd want to help a snob so show some goddamned respect!"

"Well put," Antonio said from behind the couch holding two opened bottles of beer. Sakura was so preoccupied with her speech and Sasuke with listening to it, that neither noticed his presence. "Thank you for you concern, but I've heard worse about my lifestyle from better. Besides, after reading what Rin had to say, I doubt I'll be taking anything that comes out of his mouth seriously."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" the proud Uchiha demanded. "What exactly did she put in that scroll?"

"Your life story," he said, handing the two their drinks. "How your brother killed your clan, that you were the only survivor, the way you ditched the people who thought the world of you for a guy who wants your body (whatever the hell that means), and that you're only doing this band thing to spit in his face. She probably thought I'd be able to help you sort out your priorities since I went through something similar. It's a shame she doesn't realize that that alone doesn't mean I'll be able to help you."

"Your point being…"

"That you and I are nothing alike and if you're as stubborn as she tells me you are then I can't help you. Besides, I hate it when people treat me as if I were a shrink because of my past."

"Then don't," Sasuke said as he got up from the couch. He placed an empty bottle on the small coffee table in front of him and turned to Sakura. "Let's go Sakura. We don't have time to waste on this bullshit."

"Sit down Sasuke," she ordered, staring down at the beer in her hands. "If he brought us here then he must have something to tell us. Besides, I want to hear his story before we leave, that is, assuming he's in the mood to tell it."

Antonio let out a heavy sigh. If it had been anyone else asking him besides Rin, he would have spat in their eye, beat them into the ground, and then kicked dirt over their quivering body for bringing up such painful memories. But he owed that woman more than he could ever repay. When Sasuke had finally sat back down, realizing he couldn't go anywhere until Sakura was good and ready, Antonio pulled up a wooden chair and sat directly across from them, throwing his feet on the table.

He pulled out a cigarette and began patting himself all over. The two shinobi figured he had forgotten a lighter, so Sakura took the cigarette from him and placed it between her lips. She turned to face Sasuke, who had already finished the necessary seals for a flame jutsu and let out a small stream of flame. The flame just hit the end of the small cylinder and Sakura took a small puff, exhaling the smoke moments later like a pro. She then handed the cigarette back to its original owner.

"Those ninja techniques must really come in handy," he said after exhaling the smoke from his first hit. "I appreciate it, but if you don't mind, I think I'll use the butt to light the next one. Now where were we? Oh right, you wanted to hear about my sob story.

"To begin with, I used to live in a small village on the border between Fire Country and the Hidden Village of Grass. My parents were field hands and although individuals in the village were not particularly close, I had plenty of brothers and sisters, eight in total, to keep me company. I was the youngest, but none of them ever treated me like I was less then they were. We weren't rich or anything, but I can honestly say we were happy."

For a moment, Antonio drifted on to his own thoughts and started chuckling to himself. "I remember this one time when I was about four or five. We were playing hide-and-go-seek in the fields and I had gotten lost. The fields where my parents and older brothers worked were humongous, and the grain stalks had grown taller than me. I was afraid that no one was going to find me so I just started crying and crying, praying that someone, anyone, would find me.

"Eventually two of my sisters showed up and led me back home, and all I can remember after that was how worried everyone had been. My mother thought that I had been attacked by a wild animal. My father just laughed to himself and said that 'no son of his would get killed so easily.' Hearing those words made me feel really good inside. I don't really have many memories of them after that.

Two weeks later, our village was attacked by Grass Shinobi. My father and siblings were in the fields, but I was at home sick and my mother was tending to me. We heard screaming so my mother went to see what was happening. She peaked outside but immediately came back to me side, pulling me out of bed violently. She threw me down a hidden compartment beneath the floor and shut it. Telling me not to move or make any noises no matter what I heard.

A couple of seconds later, I heard our front door getting blown away and my mother hitting the floor screaming. There were footsteps of maybe two or three men entering the house but my mother didn't make a sound. I'm still not sure if she was trying to be brave for my sake or if she was simply petrified of what was about to happen to her."

Sakura could tell that what happened next was probably something they didn't need to know the details to, but feared he might add them to send the message home to Sasuke. Antonio took this pause to light another cigarette with the ash of the first. When he continued his story, Sakura was relieved when details weren't mentioned. Antonio had more respect for his mother than that and frankly, he didn't want to relive the memory any more than he had to.

"To put it bluntly she was raped right on top of where I was hiding, though I didn't know it at the time. I was just a kid. They left soon after but I stayed where I was for a hours, afraid that one of them might still be lingering. When I felt comfortable enough that they were gone, I crawled out from the hole in the floor. I knew that something was wrong when my mother never made a sound after all the screaming, but I guess I didn't want to admit that she was dead. Unfortunately, the way that had slashed her throat made it perfectly clear, even to an innocent kid like I was, that she wasn't going to get up and comfort me.

"I ran outside screaming for help. It was pretty stupid of me since it basically told any leftover shinobi that there were still victims to demoralize and kill. There were bodies everywhere, faces I knew and some I didn't. I didn't see me father's body or any of my siblings so I started to hope. I ran into the fields, and one by one I found them all. The dead bodies of my brothers were a godsend compared to what I saw of my sisters.

"My father was still alive, but barely. After everything I witnessed, I knew he was going to die and so did he. There was a kunai on the ground next to him. I guess the ninjas that were sent were pretty sloppy.

"I picked it up. I was tired of seeing my father in pain but I a still hesitated as I held the weapon over him. I don't know where the push came for me to do it as I forced the knife into his chest. What I do remember was how much it had freaked me out when I came to my sense and realized what I'd done. I probably would have taken my own life right there if my father hadn't put his hand on my forehead and thanked me before he died."

"Thanked me for what!" he shouted, grabbing Sasuke's empty beer bottle from the table and flinging it against a wall. "I did the same thing those ninja bastard's did. What the hell was so noble about that! I did it to put him out of his misery? Even I wasn't naïve enough to think that. I did it because the sounds of his dying breaths were scaring the shit out of me!"

He had to pause again to get his bearings. The two teenagers thought that he might be crying when he lowered his head and brought his hand up to massage the bridge of his nose, however that idea was put out when he raised his head and his eyes appeared to be perfectly clear without the slightest hint of moisture.

"I fell asleep crying next to my father's corpse and woke up in the morning. I felt guilty for being the only survivor, not that I expect you to share the same sentiment. I wanted to bring them all back to the village and give them a proper burial, but couldn't carry them all. So I went back to the village and grabbed a shovel. Ten graves I dug, my mother's being last, with the feeble hands of a child and under the influence of a fever, but I managed to finish by nightfall. I sat in the fields without anymore tears to shed, just wondering what was next. I had no place to call home, no family, and I was pretty sure I'd lost my sanity. I looked over at the shovel I had used to make the graves and decided to dig one more.

"Before I even had the chance to break dirt, I realized that the shinobi had returned and were setting fire to the fields and the village. Why the hell they couldn't remember to do that the first time around was beyond me but I was glad that I'd be joining the rest of my family soon."

They were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and their attention was immediately diverted. Standing in the doorway was a girl that looked like the mirror image of Sakura only with black hair and not pink. Antonio jumped out of his chair with the first genuine smile the two of them had seen on his face and walked over to the girl, giving her a quick kiss on the lips and grabbing a few of the grocery bags she was carrying. The girl gave him a frown, but Antonio was unsure what for. It wasn't until she nudged her head in Sakura and Sasuke's direction that he got the point.

"I'd like to introduce you to my girlfriend. Sasuke and Sakura, this is Sara. Sara, these two are Leaf villagers Rin sent me to help out. They're a little special but we won't hold that against them."

The girl gave him a quick smack to the back of the head and scowled at him. "I swear to God you're horrible. Remind me again why I put up with you."

"Because after having you stalk me since childhood I finally decided that I couldn't live without you, we're madly in love, and the sex is great." The girl began sifting through her purse for something, but Antonio stopped her. "Before you start bombarding me with the chancla, remember that we have guests. Play nice and I'll let you have your way later. "

Maria complied and walked over to couple on the sofa. Sakura immediately rose to her feet and Sara, not wasting any time, brought her into a friendly hug. After seeing the way Sara had acted with Antonio and then seeing the two that close together, Sasuke was starting to feel very afraid at the idea of two Sakuras. A question popped into his head, and although he knew it could be considered rude, he had to ask.

"Um, Sara," he started, "do you dye your hair?"

"No, why do you ask?"

"No reason," he said, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. "I was just curious."

Antonio moved over to Sasuke's side, chair in hand, and sat next to him while the two girls chatted away. He was glad that Sara had shown up when she did to run interference, since he knew that Sasuke would not want Sakura to hear what was going on in his head just yet. He and Sara had been the same way at first. She wanted desperately to know what he was thinking and Antonio wanted to be left alone. For the time being, he thought it would be best to give Sasuke this small consolation.

"Sakura, maybe this would be a good time to practice controlling that leash thing. I'd like to talk to Sasuke alone."

Sara immediately understood what was going on. She had heard Antonio talking about his past and knew that he would never do such a thing unless he thought it was important. For some reason, she thought she saw a bit of the old Antonio in Sasuke and took it as a sign that he might have experienced a similar dark past.

"Sakura, why don't you come with me and I'll show you my collection of things I use to hit Antonio. Maybe I could even lend you something that fits your tastes."

Sakura nodded in assent and stood up. She walked the full length of the leash, stopping when Sasuke was jerked in her direction. This time Sasuke held onto the couch for dear life as Sakura began to move away. Their was significant stress on his part as he felt like his body had become the rope in a tug of war match, but the space between them was increasing. When Sakura and Sara were finally gone and the strain on Sasuke's body had died down, Antonio spoke.

"I was a little confuses to when I saw Sakura at the club. I thought for a moment that she had dyed her hair pink for some sort of role-playing thing, which was funny because she hates those kind of games."

"You said that you were the sole survivor but you mentioned that she had been stalking you since childhood. How do you explain that?"

"Hmmm. And here I thought you were supposed to be some sort of genius. Either I knew her in the village and she moved away before the attack or I met her afterwards while I was still very much a child. Either one seems perfectly acceptable. I don't remember much of her during my time in the village, but I met her again after moving here."

"And what exactly did you want to talk about?"

"How much of an idiot you are."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Look, Rin expects me to somehow magically change your whole perspective on what happened to you in three days and it would be impossible if she gave me three years. How you live your life after something like that depends on what kind of man you are. Sadly, you look like you haven't grown a day since it happened. I wasn't kidding when I said we had nothing in common on this subject. I managed to move on and all you can think about is how your life was stolen from you.

"Everyday you tell yourself that you're willing to sacrifice everything to get your revenge, but I know you better than that. You chasing after your brother on your own is like me chasing after a squad of shinobi. It's suicidal but that was always the point, right? You intend to die the same way your clan did just to give yourself some closure. Do you have any idea what that would do to that girl who worships the ground you walk on? How fucking selfish can you be!"

Sasuke had had just about enough of Antonio's lecturing. He was a trained assassin and he wasn't about to take that from some guitar-playing nobody. He grabbed him by the throat and pinned him on the coffee table. His chidori was at hand in an instant, bloodlust in his red sharingan eyes, but Antonio just laid there, stoic as usual.

"Are you going to kill me Sasuke? Show how much like your brother you really are. You know it will only prove how right I was about you. I'm not going to do the condescending thing and make your experience seem less then it was to you because that's your own pain you have to endure, just the way that this is mine."

"Are you telling me that if you had the opportunity to get your revenge for what they did to your family, for what they put you through, that you wouldn't take it?"

"I'm not saying that at all," he said calmly. "If they were still alive, I'd rip their throats out and bathe in their blood. But my mother gave her life so that I could have one. I wouldn't throw that gift away so easily the way you seem prepared to do. I was feigning ignorance before when I said I wasn't sure what Orochimaru wants you for. If revenge was your true motive, you wouldn't even be considering his offer. Having him kill your brother by giving him your bloodline limit would be an insult to their memory."

"What the fuck would you know about what my family clan would have wanted? My clan treasured my brother as if all their hopes were placed in his abilities. I can't think of anything my family would want more than that traitor's death. Every breath he takes is the true insult to their memory and I'm the one bearing the shame for allowing it to happen."

"Your clan will cease to be the moment you give yourself to Orochimaru and he grants your request. You will be failing your clan if you let it die that way. I honestly don't give a rat's ass what you decide, but don't you dare lie to me about your motives because you're full of shit."

There was a loud crash as Sasuke's hand came down in a flash of crackling light. Sasuke's breathing had increased rapidly from the stress of everything Antonio was telling him. When he saw eyes staring back at him from the table he had just put a hole in, he stumbled back into the sofa. Never would he have imagined that someone would be able to dodge one of his strikes from such a close range.

"Two years ago I stumbled onto one of the ninja that killed my family. From his smell, I knew he was one of the men that came into my house and killed my mother. Without hesitation, I picked his pocket, and with his own kunai I gutted him. I don't know what I was expecting. I knew killing him wouldn't give me back my mother, but I at least thought I'd feel relieved. I didn't. I felt hollow and dirty.

"You're probably thinking that once you lose something, nothing in the world will ever give it back to you. That's not true at all. I lost my home and family once, but now I find myself with both. The few months I've spent with that girl has meant more to me than killing that murdering bastard ever did. But I'll admit I was scared as hell at first. I couldn't live with the thought that the same thing would happen again. It's takes a lot to cross a bridge like that and it's obvious you aren't ready. There is nothing wrong with that.

"Rin sent you here because you need help letting go of the things holding you back. You have a way of attracting people to you and Sakura is proof of that but as long as you keep pushing them away, you're always going to fall short of your brother. Look at me and tell me you aren't afraid of going through that all over again. I don't think I could."

"I have no one left to lose. There is nothing for me to be afraid of."

"Then why was it so important for you to join Naruto's band. I'm sure with Orochimaru's influence you could have found plenty of experienced and decent candidates. Hell, I hear it's within his power to make candidates. Whether you are willing to admit it or not, you don't want to let go of your new bonds. If you did, then this Naruto guy would be dead already. Let him live on a whim my ass. And you owe me a new table."

"Would you let me go already!" said a concerned Sakura from the hallway connecting to the bedrooms. "That chirping sounds like a dangerous jutsu only a complete idiot would use indoors and I don't like the way the sound went away after that loud crash. Holy Shit!" she exclaimed at the sight of the destroyed table. "Sasuke, please tell me I'm imagining this."

"You're imagining it."

"Don't get smart with me dumbass!"

"Well don't tell me to tell you things you want to hear when you don't want to hear it!"

The two of them were intererrupted by hysterical laughing coming from Antonio. His face was turning a deep red since he was finding it hard to breath. Sasuke demanded to know what was so funny but it still took him several minutes to calm down before he answered.

"Nothing," he said. "I was just thinking how great the two of you get along. I'll just say one more thing before I let you off the hook Sasuke. Lighten up and enjoy the life you have. If you really want to get under your brother's skin, have fun in spite of him. If you do anything else, then you're doing exactly what he wants you to do. Now let's get something to eat because I'm starved. We'll show you where your room is later."

"Wait," Sasuke exclaimed in utter disbelief. "We're staying here!"

"Well, I guess you could stay at Matt's place if you're really that uncomfortable."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Sara chided in. A little flushed at the mention of Matt's place. "When I walked by after leaving the store I saw a bunch of half naked women going in."

"That's right," Antonio said in realization. "Tonight's orgy night. Even so, I'm sure Matt would be more than willing to—"

"We'll stay!" they shouted in unison.

The four of them went into the kitchen-slash-dining room where Sara prepared a quick nighttime snack with Sakura's help. They ate in relative ease, no one feeling quite like chatting anymore than they already had. Sasuke had a lot to think about, and as much as he didn't like it, even he could see the light in Antonio's words. Maybe his libido was right and what he really needed was to get laid. He looked over at Sakura but when she caught him he reflexively turned away.

When they were finished with their meal, Sara led them to a room and let them in. She told them that the room she and Antonio shared was directly across from them and that the bathroom was to their down the hall and to the left. She said that if Sakura needed any clothing then she should feel free to ask to borrow some. Sasuke, however, was out of luck since Antonio had a thing about sharing his clothing.

There was a single bed that looked only big enough for one medium sized adult. Sasuke instinctively began setting up a pillow in the most comfortable part of the floor and checking the drawers to see if there were any blankets he could use as a makeshift mattress. Sakura had other ideas.

"Ano, Sasuke," she said nervously. "Would you mind if we shared the bed tonight? I'm not used to sleeping in a stranger's house. It would mean a lot to me."

Sasuke could tell that it had taken a lot for Sakura to make that kind of a request. He knew better than to expect anything more than sharing a bed but he was still hesitant. Say 'yes' already you brainless moron! said the voice of Sasuke's mojo, but this was a decision that went beyond whether or not he was horny. Was he willing to form another bond at the risk of having it taken away? Sakura was growing impatient and after deciding that Sasuke was probably going to reject her offer, she threw herself on the bed and turned away from him.

The lights went out and Sakura felt tears welling up. She didn't know why she kept making a fool of herself to try to get close to her old crush. Maybe she really was a glutton for emotional neglect, but she couldn't bring herself to pull away from him. That's when she felt Sasuke lie on the bed next to her and an arm wrap itself just below her breasts. She instantly tensed up, not knowing what it could mean.

"Is this alright?"

She slowly rolled onto her other side to face him. On the surface he looked the same as he always did, calm, collected, and completely in control. But something deep inside told her that he was as unsure of this as she had been. The tears that had started to form rolled down her face without her consent, but she quickly wiped her face trying to hide it.

"Thank you."

The Next Morning at the Place Bug Boy Lost His Virginity…

Shino took a long drag from the freshly lit cigarette in hand as he watched the beautiful women cutely sleeping soundly next to him with her delicate hands resting on his chest. If the world came crumbling down at that moment, Shino would be able to die a very satisfied man. Jiraiya himself would have given his left testicle to have been in his position. Another puff from the after-sex cigarette.

For some reason, Shino felt like looking at the mess the two of them had made during their nightly adventure. The floor was littered with tissues, used condoms, and plenty of empty lubrication bottles. The headboard of the bed had been destroyed when Mika had tried handcuffing Shino to the bed. And let's face it, the sheets were in desperate need of a washing. Nay, they needed to be burned and replaced immediately.

That's when Shino caught sight of the sweats Raid had lent him. They were lying on the floor and sticking out of one of the pockets was a folded piece of paper. He didn't want to get out of bed and disturb his companion's rest, so Shino sent a trail of insects to retrieve the note for him. He thought it was fun to watch the way his insects dragged the paper to him the way ants would carry off picnic items.

He unfolded the note as soon as his minions returned and read the contents.

'Dear Shino,

I apologize for the wild goose chase I sent you on. I just couldn't think of a better way for you to meet Mika without it seeming suspicious. The rest of the band and I have known her since she was much younger. We used to stop by her parents' stand all the time when they were alive and even after their death we kept a close eye on her. When we heard that she had started dating some punk, we did our best to warn her about him without crushing her faith in men. Unfortunately, we failed. I sent you here for a number of reasons, but mostly in the hopes that you would be able to mend her broken heart and restore her trust in people.

The other reason I sent you here was so that you could finally learn what funk really means. Let's face it; you cannot get funky with a baseline if you cannot get funky in the bedroom. Saying this to you is meaningless. It is something you simply have to experience. I guarantee that if you pick up a base and remember the night you shared, your sound will improve one hundred fold.

And if you are wondering how I knew that you would pick up this note AFTER doing the naughty, let me enlighten you. I planned it. I planned all of it. From you falling off a cliff, to you ending up in Mika's house by nightfall, then going outside cursing my existence at the moon, and even Mika catching standing at her doorway butt naked. I am the ultimate strategist and you can tell that to those bastard clan heads the next time you see them.

Hugs and Kisses,

Aburame Raid'

It was at that moment that Shino decided to know his first child after that blessed uncle of his.

'P.S. The others shouldn't be finished with their tasks for another two or three days, so take your time and enjoy you're smoking hot girlfriend, sex-partner, whatever the hell you call each other for a little while longer.'

"…" (Oh, I plan on it Wise One. I plan on it.)

"mmmmm," came the sound of Mika talking in her sleep. "Shino, do that thing with your tongue again. That felt s-o-o-o-o good."