Loki was sitting on his cot-bed, reading his book.It had been a couple hours since he had told Kurse where to go.
"You might want to take the stairs to the left." No, doubt Thor would be here soon to deal with the prisoners. Loki remembered the monster from childhood tales. Even Thor wouldn't kill the beast. Better to let it go free and hunt it down later. Besides, that way they could ensure the prisoners didn't escape.The guard walked down the hall. Bringing the other's their monthly rations, most likely. Loki had enough food in his cache to last a couple centuries. At least he didn't have to eat prison food. It also prevented the guards from speaking with him. Good. Leave him to try to repair his own mind. Let him save his magic.
Magic is like a horse. If you neglect and abuse it, it becomes aggressive, it doesn't trust easily, any training it had is lost because it becomes wild to survive. It shies at every little thing, lost in it's own mind.
You have to gain it's trust slowly. You have to show it unconditional love and praise, disciplining, but not breaking. When you save a horse, when you love a horse, trust a horse, work for a horse, that is what you will get from them. They will love you, trust you, work with you. That is how his magic was.
Thanos had broken, abused, neglected it. Overworked, starved, beat, tortured. Magic was a living thing. In attempt to balance Loki, the titan had tried to kill it. In doing so, his magic became wild and unpredictable.
For the past year, Loki had been working with it, gaining it's trust back. While it was still alive, it wasn't living, for the past year, Loki had been reviving it. He was grateful that his magic trusted him enough to put up illusions up at night to hide the nightmares from prying eyes.
Though, it was also protecting itself. Like a horse, they were both one and two beings. Protecting Loki meant protecting itself. When Loki was tortured, as was his magic. When Loki was filled with rage, his magic felt it and in turn was filled with rage. They had both been broken. They had both tried to heal. They had both failed.
"Prince Loki, your brother sent me to inform you that the queen, your mother, has fallen in battle. She was run through by the Kurse protecting the Aether. You have my condolences." Everything froze as the words played an endless loop through his head. your mother...run through... by Kurse...Aether... condolences. Something inside of him froze and it had nothing to do with being half Frost Giant."Then am I not your mother?" He felt as if he had been slapped. How could he deny that she was his mother? Loki shook his head minutely, stepping forward. Frigga was the one person who cared. It's better to not care. Do not show weakness. Do not show sentiment. Protect them by hating them."You're not." He wanted to tell her everything. If she stayed another second, he would break. Loki wanted to hug her and take it back. Instead, he stepped forward, passing his hand through the projection.
His famous Silver-tongue did indeed feel like a lump of lead. He couldn't speak. He finally understood what the Other meant when it said "You will long for something sweet as pain." His mother was dead. He nodded to the guard, excusing him. Loki stood slowly, placing the book neatly on the table. His mother was dead. He walked to the center of the cell, his magic fighting against his will.
Loki let it go, he let it rage and lash out. He set it free. It still protected him, casting an illusion even as it destroyed everything within reach. His mother was dead. His mother was dead, because of him. All the pain, anger, grief, guilt, everything came crashing down. His mother was dead.
Thor was here.
"Loki, enough. No more illusions." His magic receded like a tide, showing how broken he truly was.
"Now you see me brother." It was the most honest thing he had uttered in centuries.
Below my soul, I'm feeling injured
Collapsing as it see the pain
If I could only shut it out
...
There's nothing left to say now
I'm giving up, giving up ey ey, I'm giving up now
...
I keep falling, I keep falling down
...
I'm drowning in the waters of my soul
-Imagine Dragons, Nothing Left to Say
A/N: I gotta be honest, I kind of sound like a broken record in this chapter.