Title: Exchange
Author: desolate butterfly
Genre: Angst, smut
Pairing: NaruSasu, SasuNaru
Rating: M
Summary: 'As Naruto presses hot open-mouthed kisses to Sasuke's neck and shoulders, Sasuke makes a list of repayments in his head.'

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This isn't the way things were supposed to turn out; Sasuke's sure of it.

He doesn't know what Naruto gave up to get him back; only that there was some kind of exchange that he was left out of, some decision made out of his control again and Sasuke sometimes thinks that being Orochimaru's tool would be better than being Naruto's.

At least there were no conflicting emotions in Sound. There was power and there was hatred and there was convenience and Sasuke knew exactly where he stood. Now he lies in Naruto's bed, curled in the sheets that reek of too many sweaty nights and unwashed bodies—the slightly darker scent of the forest—and tries not to think too hard about the removal of Orochimaru's seal from his body.

Naruto appears in the doorway, soaking wet. Sasuke raises his head slightly from the pillow but can't hear the rain. The bedsprings creak as Naruto sits down, a cautious distance from Sasuke's legs, and peels off his jacket.

Sasuke ignores the quick movements of Naruto's hands as he strips: what he notices is the still slightly clawed fingers, the tremble in Naruto's shoulders as he shrugs off his shirt and tosses it on the floor. He notices that the room is growing unbearably hot, even though Sasuke can see his breath in the air if he sighs hard enough.

"Sasuke…" Naruto whispers, and it's like a plea. There are damp fingers trailing across his back, over his shoulder and down his chest leaving streaks of moisture. Sasuke resists because it's expected that he do so, but they both know it's a token resistance and he doesn't keep it up long.

Soon Naruto has rolled him on his back and Sasuke stares resolutely at the ceiling while his clothing is pulled off piece by piece. Naruto is impatient this time. He can hear something tear.

"Sasuke," Naruto growls, and it's no longer a plea—if it was in the first place—so Sasuke redirects his eyes to Naruto's face.

There is a red-rimmed quality to those blue eyes, and the whisker lines on his cheeks seem wider, thicker. Sasuke reached a hand up to trace them curiously. The blond twitches at the touch, eyes widening as Sasuke strokes his fingers over the ridge of his nose, the tightened jaw, and down to the hollow of Naruto's throat, resting there.

He is able to kill Naruto easily like this, when the other boy is vulnerable and naked before him. He really wishes he could.

Things were so much simpler in Sound.

Sasuke mutters something incomprehensible and pulls Naruto down on top of him, burying his face in that soft throat, that rigid collarbone. He doesn't know what Naruto has given up for this, but Sasuke knows exactly what he's lost. As Naruto presses hot open-mouthed kisses to Sasuke's neck and shoulders, Sasuke makes a list of repayments in his head.

The bites on his neck, those are for his father. The welts on his back—if he arches into it, Naruto might draw blood—those are for his mother. There are various palm-shaped bruises lining his arms and legs. Those can be for his aunt and uncle. The dull pain when he pushes his head back into the headboard; that's for his grandparents.

Naruto's crouched between his thighs now, murmuring something soothing that Sasuke blocks his ears to.

"Come on," he groans, trying to move the blond closer. Maybe if he arches his back just so…

Naruto stills him with a hand on his hip and Sasuke edges up on one elbow, panting, mouth pulled into a frown.

"Why are you stopping?"

"…I don't want to hurt you," Naruto says, brokenly. A flash of lightning illuminates the bedroom and the markings on Sasuke's skin become garishly visible. Naruto traces a red welt on his thigh with trembling fingers and Sasuke sighs.

'That's the idea,' he wants to say, except he won't because the dobe won't understand. "It makes me feel better," is what he says instead, and it's a half-truth.

Naruto still looks hesitant, so Sasuke does the work himself; grasping Naruto in his hand and driving himself down onto his erection in one brutal thrust. His mouth drops open at the pain and light flashes across his vision. Naruto is looking at him anxiously so Sasuke changes his gasp into a moan and starts to move.

The pain changes—becomes deeper. This one is for Itachi, who Sasuke failed the most. His living disappointment is almost worse than the disappointment of the dead. Sasuke pushes back harder, moves faster.

"S…Saa…" Naruto has lost his anxious look and his hands on Sasuke's hips clench tighter, taking over the thrust and controlling it. Sasuke rolls his head back and watches the sky crack and part around white flame. He still can't hear the storm, but he supposes it would be impossible over the sound of Naruto's groans and his own harsh breathing.

A calloused palm closes around Sasuke's cock and strokes in tandem with the thrusts and Sasuke digs his own nails into his stomach to counter-act the immediacy of his response. If Naruto notices he doesn't say anything.

A few strokes later, Naruto finds his completion. It's pure stubbornness that makes him keep working Sasuke until the Uchiha comes as well, with a strangled cry. After he's caught his breath, Sasuke rolls on his side, an arm coming up to hide the reddened marks of his nails ringing his abdomen. Naruto watches in silence for a while before sliding off the bed.

Sasuke listens to his feet pad on the floor and sees another flash of lightening. He counts the beats in between, like Itachi taught him to do in order to measure the distance of the storm.

Naruto comes back before he can get past the number four, settling down on the bed with a warm cloth which he uses to wipe the blood and semen from Sasuke's lower body. Then Sasuke is pulled up and over so that he's lying half on top of Naruto, arms and legs tangled together with the blonde's sweaty limbs.

"You okay?" Naruto asks, stroking Sasuke's hair with his fingers.

Sasuke ignores that and asks his own question. "When are you going to tell the others I'm here?"

Naruto is quiet for a few seconds, his hands still shifting restlessly through Sasuke's tangled locks. "They can't know you're here," he says quietly. "They'll kill you."

"Even Kakashi?"

"…He has orders. There's nothing he can do."

Sasuke lifts his head to peer into Naruto's eyes. They are still rimmed red, even though it's been three days. Surely someone has noticed by now.

"And Sakura?"

Naruto avoids Sasuke's gaze, hands stroking down Sasuke's shoulders and back, like he's comforting a pet. "It would only hurt her," he mumbles. "Once we find a way to make the council see that you aren't a danger to Konoha…I'll tell her then."

'What if I want to die?' Sasuke thinks, but doesn't say it. The last time he did, Naruto's eyes turned completely red, and his fangs grew as long as his claws. It had taken Sasuke hours to coax him back into a relative calm.

Instead, Sasuke lays his head back down on Naruto's chest and closes his eyes.

It takes him a few moments to realize that the low too-quick drumming in his ears isn't thunder, but the inhuman tempo of Naruto's heartbeat.

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fin.

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