Katt Girl, Robin, & The Harley-Kidd: Chapter 26: The Two Jokes by Chad Sheefel 11/30/19
After a couple days of Bruce and future Selina trying to make their way back to Gotham City, Bruce managed to recover from his memory loss. He lost his memory because Talia had been drugging him to keep him from remembering who he was. She tricked him into loving her because she would need the blood of a Wayne to fulfill her future plans. But, Bruce's mind continued to get stronger, as memories continued to flood into his brain. Talia's plan was to sacrifice Bruce during a ritual in order to resurrect her father … Ra's al Ghul. But, she needed time. The Lazarus Pit had sank into the mountain when her father failed to open the Hellmouth, which would have allowed Darkseid to come through. Talia was having trouble finding the pit beneath the rubble. Plus, she could tell that Bruce was having too many flashbacks, and would soon remember everything. She realized she would need to come up with a different plan if she was to sacrifice a Wayne. Only a Wayne's sacrifice would allow her father to come back, and Bruce was the last Wayne left. Apparently, the conflict between the Wayne Family and Ra's al Ghul went back for many generations. Once Talia managed to make Bruce fall in love with her, she knew the only possibility of sacrificing a Wayne, was to become pregnant with his child. After Bruce and her made love, she knew she wouldn't need Bruce around anymore, then tried to kill him. She wasn't counting on future Selina Kyle to still be alive. Selina stopped Talia from murdering Bruce, then they started heading back towards Gotham City.
As they were traveling back, Bruce had a multitude of questions that he wanted to ask Selina. There was only so much that she would be willing to answer. She knew in her mind that Bruce was meant to do great things. She feared telling him anything about the future because she didn't want to change Bruce's path. She did let him know, in her timeline from the future, Gabby and Lola were his children. This was hard for him to fathom. He remembered the Northern Lights of Gotham, which happened almost nine years ago, after Selina and Gabby came through the time portal. That was the night Bruce realized that he would take on the corruption in Gotham City.
"Ra's al Ghul told me that he killed Gabby and Lola." Bruce sadly stated.
"No, they are still alive. I'm not 100% sure, but I just have a feeling that they are." Selina replied.
"A feeling huh? What is that all about?" Bruce asked.
"We are felines. Cats have nine lives. So, between the girls and I, we have 27 lives." Selina replied in joking fashion.
"So … me and you are a thing in the future? How were we supposed to meet?" Bruce asked. "The first time I met you … or should I say … met your "younger" you … you and Chad Grayson were dating. What happened between you two, he must not have liked the whip." Bruce laughed.
"Actually, that is a crazy thing. I never dated Chad Grayson. In fact, I never knew a Chad Grayson. Apparently, after you stopped Lola and Gabby from being shot by The Landlord, the timeline sharply skewed into the trajection that we are on now. You know something, I actually forgot what it sounded like to hear you talk without being so serious. It's kind of nice." Selina stated.
"What? In the future, do I become a complete dick or something?" Bruce asked.
"If you only knew. Ha Ha. Never mind, I might have said too much already. Trust me, you end up having a good reason for why you might become such a dick." Selina replied.
"I'm sure Chad and Selina already think I'm a dick. Especially, since I left for the League of Assassins without them. Plus, I've been gone for so long, Alfred is probably getting worried. He never gets out very much. I'm sure it has been quite boring at Wayne Manor."
Meanwhile, Alfred, Chad, Gabby, Lola, and Dick had been making decent strides to clear out the rubble from the cave. They managed to make it to the section of the cave where Alfred had set up computers. This allowed them to get into the emergency backup generators, which could supply heat without alerting Bane's army. The cave was becoming a new home. They managed to re enforce the cave with steel beams and lumber they salvaged from the destruction of Wayne Manor. The cave was a decent size. There would be plenty of room once the rubble was removed. They had made themselves pallets to lay on when they would be ready for bed. One person would stand guard each night to watch for any intruders. Tonight was Gabby's watch.
A message came over the radio that Gordon gave Alfred. "Alfred, come in Alfred … this is Gordon … we are planning to make moves to take down Bane's army. We are going to start with his team of men on the outside edge of the City, then quickly make our way to his command post. We could use as much help as possible. Please let me know something soon and I can give you further instructions at that time … Gordon out."
Gabby went to wake Alfred up. She told him that Gordon had just tried to get into contact with him. Alfred immediately got back to him. Gordon asked him whether or not they could handle some of Bane's army, which was patrolling the Narrows.
Alfred looked down at all the weapons that Mr. Fox had given him, then said, "I'm fairly certain we could hold our own, sir. When will this attack happen?"
"Tomorrow night at dusk. Be on the lookout for the Red Hood as well. We believe they are also planning an attack. At this point, the enemy of our enemy, can prove to be our friends … for now anyways. We will give you the signal when we are going in ... Gordon out."
Gabby, Lola, and Dick hadn't seen any action for a few nights. They were hungry to get out there and take back their city. Alfred would have none of it. After witnessing what Bane's army was capable of, he felt it would be far too dangerous for them.
"Uncle Alfie! You know we are ready! You know we can kick some butt!" Lola exclaimed.
"People are going to die. I don't want you kids to have something like that on your conscience. Chad and I will take some weapons with us, besides, I will need you guys to hold down the fort." Alfred replied.
The children weren't happy, but they respected Alfred's demands.
Bane stood alone in an abandoned warehouse near downtown Gotham. He couldn't stand being around his men. Despite them being loyal to him, they were much too simple for his taste. He preferred intellectual conversation, which none of them could supply. Suddenly, the sound of a door closed, then the sound of a door being locked. Bane looked over towards the door, but it was too dark to see. Then, from out of the shadows, walked Jack Napier. He was still sporting one of the purple tuxedos that Harleen gave to him.
Bane looked at him. He couldn't believe how pale white he was. His hair looked wild, and his lips were scarred with what looked like a constant smile. Bane wasn't worried because Jack must've only weighed about a hundred pounds.
"What do you think you are doing here, Clown boy?" Bane asked. "Whatever it is, it better be good, because if not, it will be the last thing you ever say." Bane stated.
"Wooo hooo hooo … I like a man with integrity! … Or is it just roid rage from that crap you are inhaling?" Jack laughed.
Bane's face became filled with anger. He didn't like clowns or their jokes. "I'm about to snap you in half like a twig!" Bane exclaimed while walking closer to Jack.
Jack just stood there. Bane grabbed Jack by his goofy bow-tie, and was about to clobber him. "Wooohooo, hehe … No, you don't want to hurt me. I have brought you a gift Mr. Bane. Surely, you would like to see what I've brought you before you do bodily harm to me. But, I've heard the saying, The bigger they are, the more obtuse they become! Hehehehe" Jack joked.
Bane became even more aggressive, then lifted Jack off the floor.
He held his fist in the air, then said, "Last chance Joker! You better make it count!
"Woohoo … okay, okay! I heard that the Red Hood was planning an attack." Jack said.
"Sooo ... they have been planning attacks for some time, it is nothing that my army can't handle." Bane stated.
"But … What you don't know, is that there is a resistance group that is also planning an attack. They have grown quite a large army. It appears that you may have pissed quite a few Gothamites off with your sudden takeover. I'm sure the Red Hood leader would know all about it." Jack replied.
"And how do you know that information? We haven't managed to find the Red Hood leader yet. He always manages to run as soon as the bullets start flying." Bane replied.
"You haven't found him, but I have. Hehehehe ... The other night, after your men slaughtered some of the Red Hood down by the riverside, I managed to catch up to the little weasel." Jack said. "I can show you to him, on one condition."
"And what condition would that be?" Bane asked.
"We will talk about it on the way." Jack replied, as Bane dropped him on his ass.
Jack took Bane to the Axis Chemical cleanup site. Bane could stand a lot of things, but the fumes from that place smelled worse than death. As they walked through the site, Bane noticed many dead bodies. Some were his men, and some were the Red Hood's men. Finally, they made it to the area that Jack was keeping the Red Hood leader. Next to one of the toxic chemical containers, was a man in a red hood tied up, while Harley Quinn stood guard. Then Jack walked up to the Red Hood leader and removed his mask.
"Allow me to introduce you to ... Jimmy Snipes! A weasel amongst weasels." Jack stated.
"Oh my God! Another Joker! Are you guys related or something?" Bane asked.
Jack and Harley began laughing uncontrollably. "He is almost as funny as you, Puddin!" Harley laughed.
Bane pushed Jack aside and walked towards Jimmy Snipes. Jimmy's eyes got wide, knowing that he was doomed. Bane picked him up in the air, then slammed Jimmy against the container. Then he picked Jimmy up again, and punched him so hard, he made 4 teeth fly out of Jimmy's mouth. Jack and Harley stood there laughing, it was so gruesome, yet entertaining to watch Bane work. Harley pulled out a bag of popcorn, then started munching on it as if she was at a movie theater.
Bane picked Jimmy back up again, then asked him, "Where and when is your men planning an attack?"
Jimmy spit blood out of his mouth and said, "Screw you pal! If I tell you, you are going to kill me! Go to hell!"
Bane's eyes squinted while he gritted his teeth. "You go to hell first!"
Then Bane began slamming Jimmy's body to the ground, over and over again, as if he was tossing around a rap doll. After he stopped, Jimmy's face looked like it was smashed in. Still pissed, Bane looked in Jack and Harley's direction, as if he was going to smash them next.
Jack quickly spoke up. "Umm … I actually know when and where the attacks will take place."
"Why didn't you say anything before I decimated this clown!" Bane angrily asked.
"Hehehehe … I would have told you, but then I wouldn't have got to see you smash up Jimmy. How boring would that have been? HA HA HA HA HA!" …. Suddenly, Jack stopped laughing when Bane grabbed him by the throat and squeezed.
"Start talking Joker! Or your girlfriend will be thoroughly entertained next!" Bane demanded.
Jack tried to speak, but Bane's grip was cutting off his vocal cords. Bane released him just enough to allow Jack to speak.
"Hoohoohoo … That's quite a grip you got there Bany … The attack is going to be tomorrow night at dusk. They plan on taking out your outer crews first."
"Hmm … thanks for the information!" Bane said while dropping Jack on his ass once again.
"Don't forget about our agreement Bany Boy!" Jack demanded.
Bane turned and gave Jack a mean stare. "You better hope your information is correct, or both your deaths will be more entertaining than your brothers!" He said as he walked away.
Chapter Recap: (Bruce and future Selina made their way back towards Gotham. Alfred got word from Gordon that the resistance army and the Red Hood was planning an attack on Bane's army. Jack Napier found out when the attacks were going to happen, then told Bane what he knew. But not until after Bane pulverized Jimmy Snipes.)