Please tell me right away if you think that anything about this chapter isn't appropriate. I've let Shuyin become a little needy in this chapter, thinking that since he loves Lenne, and decides to use Vegnagun to save her in the game, he would get like that if something happened that parted him from Lenne. But please don't hesitate to tell me right away if it's not a good idea. Enjoy!

Chapter Five

A painful parting

The next day, we saw on the news that there had been more Machina ambushes on the outskirts of Zanarkand. I and Lenne were sitting in the living room, watching the news on the wide-screen TV on the wall. Lenne sat herself closer to me and took my hand in search of comfort. I watched as the guy on the screen talked about how tenths of civilians lost their lives. Bevelle had done it all just to get the one summoner who lived in that district. The news were that Bevelle had bombed place were they had known that the summoner lived. As Lenne heard this, her hand started shaking. I held it tighter and looked at Lenne, unable to say anything. "I won't let them get you, Lenne." I thought, worried that to say it would just make her feel worse, somehow.

Later that day, we were flying over Zanarkand on Valefor. For the first time when I looked down from Valefor's back, I could see no people down on the street. Apparently, the news that Bevelle were attacking had frightened the citizens of Zanarkand into staying inside their houses. It really felt…..I couldn't find any other word for it: strange. It felt just so extremely strange to see Zanarkand so sleepy, and I and Lenne were so used to our city being so full of life. A Zanarkand that never sleeps. Suddenly, it was totally different.

"Hey, Lenne. Do you think it looks weird to see Zanarkand like this?" "Yeah, it really looks just so sleepy I can hardly bear it." Lenne replied sadly from behind me, clinging unto my back as usual. Not that we could solve anything just by complaining, but somehow it helped ease the pain we felt over knowing that Zanarkand was about to go to war with another city.

"Shuyin." Lenne said suddenly after awhile. We were still flying on Valefor. "What?" "Do you think that…..that we can make it through this?" I turned around on Valefor and looked Lenne in the eyes.

I didn't know if I would ever see her again if she went to the frontlines to fight Bevelle's Machina, but I knew one thing: I would do anything to save her. If it included sacrificing my life for her, I would do it. I wouldn't let anything happen to my beloved Lenne.

"I won't let anything happen to you, Lenne." That was all I could think of saying. Lenne smiled her warm smile again, and put her arms around me in a tight embrace. I could tell, by the way she hugged me, that what I'd just said, really meant a lot to her. "Thank you." She said. I held her, and didn't let go until Valefor returned to our home. I wasn't sure how much more of this anxiety I could take. But my resolve burned even fiercer. "I won't let those bastards hurt you, Lenne." I whispered.

The day had come, the day when Lenne had to leave for the frontlines. A day, which, perhaps could be the last day I ever shared with her.

I was fighting back urges to shout "Lenne, don't go! I need you!" the whole time. We were standing in the entrance door, hugging each other for what would probably be the last time.

"Shuyin, don't be afraid. I'll come back." I nodded, holding her tightly, refusing to let go. (As always) "Lenne, I won't let you die. I'll find a way to save you." I said with a voice quiet unlike my own.

"Shuyin…..please! Just live, and wait for me to come back to you!"

Lenne wouldn't let go either. "Oh, a thousand words call out through the ages. They'll cradle you, turning all of your lonely years to only days." She whispered in my ear. I smiled, as I recognised the last part of "1000 no kobota". Lenne smiled at me. She kissed me, holding the kiss long, trying to give me some of her before she left. "This kiss will probably be the last I'll ever receive from her." I thought, and an unbearable sorrow filled me then. Lenne broke the kiss, looking into my eyes with the same loving gaze she had had when we lied in bed together that night which seemed so long ago. "I'll return, Shuyin. Don't worry." And with that, she left me.

I'd never imagined that something like this could ever happen to us.

I ran to a window in the living room, hoping to get one last glimpse of her as she soared across the now sleepy city of Zanarkand. But all I could see when I looked up at the sky was a storm with dark clouds sending bolts of lightning and icy cold rain over my hometown.

I stood like that for a long time, looking up at the sky without really seeing it. I was thinking about Lenne and the life we'd had together, before all this started. I felt how the familiar feeling of fear for losing Lenne overwhelmed me completely.

She was going out to fight in a Machina war, and all I could do was watch, helplessly, without any means of protecting the only woman I loved. "There must be some way I can save you, Lenne!" I screamed out aloud in desperation, but no one heard me, Lenne least of all.

A few painful days later, when I went to bed, I felt nothing but a terrible emptiness inside of me, robbing me of all my chances of sleeping. It had been like that ever since Lenne departed. Oh, it was so painful! There was no woman by my side to make love to me. Since Lenne left me for the frontlines, I could no longer feel the warmth of Lenne's naked body against mine in the night, when we lay in bed. I lay there alone now, staring up at the ceiling without managing to fall asleep. Image after image of my life with Lenne flashing before my eyes. "My dear, dear Lenne, please come back alive." I whispered. I lay there for endless hours. The loss of Lenne's body tortured me emotionally beyond imagination. I missed her. I wanted her so much. Even after just a few days without Lenne, I felt this way. Perhaps it had something to do with that she'd just gone to war to fight against Bevelle's feared Machina. I thought back on the night we'd had together in bed.

I remembered her face, so blissful and completely relaxed when I had rubbed her core.

I remembered how she'd told me: "Please, don't hesitate. I'll always be yours." And I remembered how I'd feared losing her, even while we lay in bed together. Now, I had no one to lie in bed with. My Lenne had left me, leaving a gigantic hole in my heart when she left. The moment Lenne went out of the door, I felt as if a part of myself got ripped to pieces. Lenne was my world. Without her, I had nothing. And now, she'd left me. I turned my head and looked at the side where Lenne slept. It was so indescribably painful not to see her sleep there, so peacefully, with her arms locked tightly around me. I put my arms around myself. I missed Lenne's arms around me in the night so much. It was all that I could think about. "This is the worst night I've ever experienced." I thought miserably, just staring up at the ceiling.