Disclaimer: I don't own The Loud House, the brand, as well as all of its characters and settings belong to Chris Savino and Nickelodeon, all rights reserved.
Chapter 57: Dichotomy.
Lana's P.O.V:
So, my family seems united, my older sisters are finally here, mom and dad seem to have finally forgiven me for my "misbehavior", and there was even this one scene where my brother and… her… kinda, returned to siblings at last, everything's fine right?
Well, not really, not yet, Lynn is gone, how can this family pretend that It didn't matter? She doesn't answer my texts, and even Lori seems to have tried hard to connect back, but to no avail, and really.
It's not like I can't see her point, she's right about Lola, I dunno about Lincoln, but my ex-roommate was at least honest enough to admit it in front of my face… yuck, I still cringe about it.
Although…. Today was an overall good day, the kind I hadn't seen in months now, even though Lynn wasn't here, even though I had to stand near the princess, and the goth, and my brother, even though we had an awkward breakfast, even though I still wasn't allowed to see him (nor do I know how to approach him again)…
We sang together, we dinned together, we played stuff together, we shared gifts (and Lily's one was a real tearjerker I tell ya…) and I finally felt the warmth of a good'ol family hug.
Yeah, i hate to admit it, today was kind of awesome, and it made me feel lots of nostalgia… nostalgia for better days, damn.
I really hate to admit it, but I do miss how things were before all this messy stuff happened, and I realize that Lori tried so hard to give it back… plus, Lincoln and Lola do seem to be back to normal… so maybe I'm not the only one that lost her chance.
Ugh… Lori did everything to bring this family together, and I just… can't let go, I hate them, I hate them so much.
I sort of hate Lincoln for having the audacity to restrict Liam from visiting, who does he think he is? My dad? Sure, he rejected Lola, but that still doesn't give him any moral superiority to mess with my business, especially after ridiculing our family on live TV!
I hate Lucy for lying to my face all of these years… Lynn was right, Lucy was nothing more than a fucking enabler, there really is no excuse in defending her, and she got the chaos that she wanted, hopefully that was enough for her!
I… can't, stand, the princess, I can't even consider her family anymore, if liking my brother that way was the only thing that she did wrong, I could have possibly forgiven her… eventually, hell, I even tried to help her get rid of that… But no, she just couldn't keep it to herself, she lied about "her crush", she lied about "helping me with Liam", she lied about her fashion shit, she lied to me about everything, and when her little game did not go her way, she just turned on me, called me a hypocrite, and worst of all.
Bitch just had to go and tell mom and dad about Liam, like, why? We made a deal, I kept her secret, not my fault she finally spilled it herself, why did she involve me on that? I promised to leave her alone, and this is how she repaid me? Well… fuck her!
Fuck her!
Fuck her
Fuck her…
Fuck… her…
No, why now, why am I crying? Why does it feel so bad? Why do I still miss her so much?
Lori's words are being replayed like a broken record in my head.
"Lana, I know that things haven't been the same for awhile, sure I wasn't here to see it happen, but it must have been hard to see Lola after her confession, and yeah, I also literally cannot imagine how hard it is to be unable to see a loved one, I wouldn't know what to do If I was separated from my Boo-Boo bear either, but, isn't that a thing that connects you two in a way? You both had no chance to be with the boys you liked, but have any of you given up in life? And also, what stays even after romance fades?"
"Family, that's what! You and Lola are twins, always remember that, you're singular, have very different tastes and goals, but in the end, I'm sure that nobody can understand each other better than the two of you, in fact, I'm shocked, I literally though that the last relationship to fall apart in this house would be yours, you were inseparable! don't you want to at least give her the chance to explain herself?"
I want to believe Lori, if only because she proved that this family wasn't a lost cause, and there is also the fact that Lola looked genuine back then, maybe she did get over him… and she also had to feel the separation for a longer time than I did, so it's not like I don't know what she probably had to go through.
But I also feel like believing in Lynn, maybe it really is just a fool's errand, Lincoln acted like a genuine asshole back then, and where else could have he gotten that from? Lola was a master of manipulation, and perhaps she still is.
But maybe, if we talk, just for a few minutes, she and I, just maybe? It's already like 1:30AM, I'm sure she'll get mad, but I couldn't bring myself to give a damn if my life depended on it.
Tomorrow is Christmas, a day to remember in family, and I couldn't enjoy the eve to it's fullest because of my own blockage, maybe this is the part that I need to fix first…
And also, I'm honestly tired of sleeping in this old couch, I don't mind the smell, but the cushion has become harder than a rock, and this is the 3rd day in a row sleeping here, I mean, my room was once again repurposed to accommodate Luna and Luan, the only other vacant rooms were… yep, you guessed it, Lucy and Lola's, ugh…
Yeah, maybe if we fix this, I'll be able to share a room with her at all, and I guess my mind won't let the thought rest until I do it.
So let's do this, I'm now going upstairs, to my siblings rooms, I am now in the hall, heading towards that room, her room, our former room.
Here I am, now I only need to knock the door, ehh… actually forget it, I'll just slowly open the door, I don't need an invitation.
… wait, she's not here, (oh crap she's in his room she is in), nah, she must be in the bathroom, I'll just wait, right here.
Huh? Lincoln is awake? What is he doing? Push-ups? His bed is cracking like crazy, I can hear pants, like if he was hyperventilating, (oh no oh no oh no oh no), ok, weird, but I guess he needs time to exercise as well, he needs some muscle.
Hmmm… Lola is taking a while to come out, now that I think about it, there are no lights coming from the bathroom, (check his room now you have to!) aright, maybe she needed to do it in the dark, beauty queens can feel real self-conscious about going for the 2, not like I care.
Yeah, maybe I'll entertain this situation, I'll go talk to Lincoln now that he's awake, I also need to make things up with him (you just want to confirm that he is a sisterfucker), but I'm sort of afraid to disturb him, maybe I'll just hear from the outside, a little closer, just a little closer.
There, my ear is now stuck in the door I can now confirm what he's doing (you already know what he's doing), it would be real funny if (Lola) Lynn was also there, hahaha.
Actually, yeah, I can actually hear two different voices (I want to die), very unnoticeable, it's almost like if they were repressing their (moans of pleasure) gasps from being tired, haha.
How interesting haha, maybe I'll just open the door to (catch them) surprise them haha.
I'll slowly, slowly open the door, just like that, good, oh yeah, indeed, I can finally see them!
Haha… hahaha… hahahahahaHAHAHA!
Oh, I could barely hold it, almost blew my cover, so (foolish) quirky of me, it's just… haha, I have them right were I (dreaded) wanted to have them, I could almost (vomit) squeal from the sight.
Lincoln and Lola were naked, on top of each other, and I'm pretty sure that is his thingy entering her coochie repeatedly, hahahahahahaha.
I almost wanna tell a joke, yeah, one that they can hear, that'll be (deserved) hilarious! yeah, here we go.
- So much for brother and sister huh? - Luan would be jealous haha, I did it, look, now they are looking at me, hahahaha, they are now (shitting their pants) pausing to get the joke, I'll give them a moment to recover their breath, get it? Hahahahaha.
Wow, they haven't laughed one bit, what could it be? They seemed pretty content just a few minutes ago, admittedly they did tell a great joke down there in front of the family, in fact, what an incredible act for these last years, Lincoln should honestly just become an actor, what a (putrid) fantastic performance, you know what's even funnier?
- Lynn was right… - haha, oops, I let that last part out, whatever, it's true, that's what makes this (nightmare) moment so much funnier.
Ok, now I'll just leave, back to my couch it is, man, I feel so (dead inside) glad to finally see it, the most hilarious joke I ever heard: This entire family.