Disclaimer:Yes it may shock you to know I don't own it..I know but sadly it's true but I do own a packet of delectible tim tams mmmm chocolatey goodness.

My notey thing: Yes another chapter... tear... but sadly no world domination yet!Thanx to all you persons that reviwed special thanks at the bottom.

Chapter 3: Evil villains and their mutated pets

"Okay so he's not gonna eat me...You can just get off your bed and he's not going to grab you and if he does then your theory is right,the hot one does always die.Either that or they turn evil.Which is partially true .I mean I have been sadistic and idiosyncratic since I was born.Meh that's not really my problem at all though it's that slimy shit demon I've got to be scared of.If there's one thing I know about midgets (which I do ) it's that if you try to flush them dwn the toilet they get extremely pissed.Oh god am I actually talking to myself?"

" Oh ..Well fine then! I thought you were talking to me! But now that your not! You can just go and shove a pineapple up you ass!"

"Ooh touchy! Mirrors are getting terribly hormonal nowadays ."Sneered Draco raising an eyebrow offhandedly.He dangled his feet csutiously off the edge of his bed.He winced as he slowly lowered his feet onto the polished marble floor.He heaved a sigh of relief as nothing grabbed him.He stretched and sniffed himself ( as you know ..you do...Don't you?).

"Whoa ! Evil plans really work up a sweat!" He then bounded off.(Damn you! You morning people make me sick!)

If you don't hold me..EEEEE!

I think I'll SCREAM!

Your loves an incantation

and my bodies seh..xy

I know you wanna hold me..EEE!

and ride me like a broom

VA...VA...VA...VAROOM!

"Frankly the abscence of ab's is dissapointing." The mirror mumbled to itself as Draco was reflected dancing around, in nothing but a pair of highly expensive undergaments from gladrags.The mirror flinched (if it can) as the blonde tried to pull offa michael jackson move...(Ahem..unsuccessfully.)

That moring in the kitchen after a before breakfast snack of unspoiled cookies.

"You seem in an overly good mood do I have to punish you?"Said Bell, seriously considering that option.

"Oh don't worry it has nothing to do with overthrowing the human race...Or you know You."said Draco confidently as his mummy was returning today.

"You are a cocky little shit aren't you!

"Yes and that's one of my good traits ..Well aside from looking damn good in a leather thong!"

there was an awkward silence as bellatrix left the room in a huff.

"Kitty Meow Meow!" Draco called sweetly in the sickening voice people think animals find alluring.Reluctantly kitty Meow Meow strutted in.Almost rolling his eyes at the sound of his own name.Why is it that every evil villain worth their salt (I've never got that)

has got a pet with a gaggingly cutesy name.If you need an example look at Paris Hilton..But you better hurry because she's fading fast.

Kitty looked at his food and gave an almost loathsome look to Draco.He (the cat) thanked god that he used a different name in the company of the ladies..Oh yeah.. His secret name was Hoff-man.Draco looked down at his little black kitty and made those weird incoherent baby noises.But was interupted by..

"Aaaw diddums do you need a nappy wappy?"

Draco turned scowling and saw his aunty trying very hard to do a cute face.

"At least I don't have to take estrogen pills to look like a woman!"

He spat reproachfully.

"That's right for you it comes naturally."She said barely keeping her cool.

"Well for one thing I actually have to pee standing up.You as .. a woman is? Do so on a regular basis despite the psychical boundaries!"

Bellatrix took out her wand he eyes flashing dangerously.

"You're going to wish you hadn't said that!"

"No I just wish I hadn't seen that!"

She screamed and the glasses around her exploded

"Wow you could be an opera singer!" Sarcastically stated Draco immediately knowing he'd gone too far.

He tried to back away but was trapped by the bench.He looked for an esape and began edging his way around the other side .Bellatrix glared and aimed not at him but at his precious kitty.

"Vanquish le' furre' "

Draco gaped at the hideous abomination that was his cat.Bellatrix stood triumphantly as her nephew fell to his knees dramatically throwing his head back and screaming.

"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Kitty just stood there in complete and utter shock.He looked at his hairless freak body and at that moment swore revenge against all wizard kind!

worl domination plans coming soon batteries sold seperately.

Yes I know it's a tragedy!Oh good gravy what is the world coming to except infinite doom! Heh Heh Heh!

Yes I know my evil laugh is pathetic but if I make it too maniacal I honest to god scare myself.Oh the cookies must taste so good for these great and almighty people! Phantom Sirius Black
Yes there should be toast to you but well I have no idea who you are oh well I luv yah! Thanx 4 being a gr8 reviewer and yes I confuse mysel with the last chapter..Hmmm thats a bit worrying karmabelle69
thank you so much ...darling..you're ..FAB-U-LOUS Chios-gal
I shall keep it up and I would so take over the world for cookies but I may leave that job to draco leencz
well i shall... KABLAH Lady Nightstalker
Thank you! the reason it's so psyhcotically funny is because wait for it... I'm psyhco!

Give yourselves a round of cookies and milk and care not for the media induced images of what a person "should " be. ...Why because I LOVE YOU!

Love and special thanks from the queen

peace and world dominantion ..out!

P.S. subliminal or not so much advertising read the way the cookie crumbles...ooooohhwwoooohhooooohhh oh and check out The part creator of hibbon!