Disclaimer: Ahem I ate a big red candle!No not really but I have been trying to make each of these disclaimerscreative and positively laughable.I didn't do it ( the not doing it pretaining to the harry potter book series.)

My Note: Hello every body . Sorry for the very lng hiatus but i had no computer and vowed to stay away from this place as it get's to like 45 degrees.Phwoar has anyone seen brokeback mountain I can't wait!mads mikkelsen rox my boat go tristan luv yah all and once again onwards to world domination! Mush!

Chapter is it four. maniacal laughter and an elf named potter

Draco had receeded into his room ,dimly lit and sinister looking, as that was how he liked it when he was planning evilly.What had that evil bitch done to his sweet little kitty.Draco tried desperately to find a potion that would reverse the effects.But sadly he didn't find one.Instead of letting his little kitty freeze ,he decided to design a range of kitty clothes for him.(yes I know it sounds terribly gay...but then well..Hitler only had one testicle.)

Later in the Malfoy Study

"There you go my little kitty now you don't look so horrendously ugly.No you don't!" Cooed Draco as he rubbed his nose against kitty meow meows.He leant back holding the hairless freak at arms length.

"Yeah stripes look good on you!" He observed .He dropped kitty onto the floor .Hoffman/ kitty gave Draco a look of deepest loathing

and plotted evil things in his little freak cat brain.Hoffman then stalked off his tail in the air the little green and white tail warmer swing as he moved.Yet Hoffman still held his pom pom beanie covered hat head high in the arrogant Malfoy way.Draco sat on the black leather armoir staring maliciously at his Aunts portrait on the wall who poked her tongue out at him.The blonde narrowed his eyes and walked defiantly over to the wall and grabbed the portrait.He threw it on the couch and began attacking it.

"DRAKEY DRAGON WHERE ARE YOU?"

"MOTHER!"

Draco left his latest project and bounded off to see his mummy.Bellatrix's picture scowled as she looked at her new moustache and monobrow not to mention the stink lines being emmitted from her armpits.

Draco leapt down the stairs all 260 of them and threw his arms around his frail mother.He glared as Bellatrix pushed him out of the way.

"Cissy!"

"Bella!"

The sisters embraced as Draco sniffed indignantly eyeing the many packages levitating over his mothers shoulder,he knocked the siters out of the way as he took a closer look.

'OOOh for Mwah?" and without waiting he wrestled an armful of presents and stumbled inside with them.Narcissa clasped her hands together in front of her face beaming.

"Not until tommorow darling,"She laughed as Draco's face fell and formed a childish pout.Bellatrix sneered.

"But I do have an early present for you."

Narcissa clapped her hands commandingly and a disheveled house elf emerged with snot icicles like stalactites.

"Merry giftmas Draco!" (The Malfoy's didn't celebrate christmas as it was a muggle tradition but they wouldn't pass up an oppurtunity to give presents most can't even afford to look at.They loved to flaunt the fact theyare richer than every one else.)

Draco smiled in glee and wickedly announced to the houself ," your name shall be potter right elf ?" He raised his eyebrows in that oh so cute way.Bella and Narcissa laughed.

"But sir my name is Whippy!" The elf protested.Draco glared at the elf and spat "HOW DARE YOU!' he raised his wand but his mother stopped him and said

"Later Draco I want to hear what's been happening."

Draco glared at bella and grinned wickedly which quickly turned into an eep as she gave hima a look of malevonent warning.Ha thought Draco all I have to do now is show mother my poor innocent defencless little kitty and that bitch is out of here! He did a little victory dance which contained certain pelvic movements his mirror was sure to groan at.

Draco searched everywherefor kitty but didn't find him reasoning that he was probably off torturing innocent little animals.

Kitty was not infact stalking defencless little critters but was investigating a stone pipe protruding from the ground.From the pipe situated in the immacuatly kept lawn echoed evil helium filled lung sounding laughter.Hoffman put a paw cautiously into the pipe and fell yowling into the abbys.

What's down the pipe ?I mean really you'd have to be a tool or mentally disadvantged or cookie deprived to not have guessed immediatlely what's down there.I'll give you a hint it's not ompa loompa's in a giant orgy okay?Good aah summer holidays hideous forty degree celsius heat lucky me I think I fried my brain down the beach the other day.Grrr bloody hotness die die die!

Greetings and salutations and happy day of birth to absolutely all the cookie lovin freaks out there.

Mwah

love da queen!