Auther's Note: This fic has now been rated R. There will be no exploited scenes, but since has already deleated one of my fics for some apparant reason, I will not take the chances again. So I'm being as safe as I can with this story and the ones that will come in the future. Sorry for the inconvenience, and I hope you guys will still enjoy reading this fic.

Title – Head Over Heels

Author – Shinsei Kokoro

Chapter – 10 – Lil' Fools

Beta Reader – Amai Okashi

Updated – 16th October 2004

Sakura Kinomoto P.O.V

I've always thought that dreams were little figments of your stupid imagination that made you crazier than ever, but here I was, enjoying every single moment. As long I was this near him, I think I had a chance of staying insane.

From the moment he pushed me down on the bed, till the moment I grabbed his shirt, I thought this was all some sick dream that was tricking me into thinking it was reality. I'm sure I'd either stopped breathing, or I was already dead.

But sometime after that, my heart had returned, thumping hard and wild, the moment he kissed me. Strands of his hair fell lazily on my face, his forehead jammed against mine, almost knocking my breath away.

His eyes stayed shadowed in the darkness, but I could hear his warm breathing that laughed in my ears.

I couldn't smell any alcohol.

But then again, that didn't mean he hadn't been with some other girl seconds ago.

He didn't seem to be hesitating. He didn't seem to be giving me a chance with all the kissing, because he just stayed on top me. We kissed. And kissed.

Maybe this wasn't real.

Maybe someone up there had decided to turn all the tables around and dump me in porridge, because here I was…the butt of their joke once again.

Damn these dreams. They didn't seem to run low.

Syaoran Li P.O.V

She was breathing softly.

Slow. And quiet. Her eyes stunned and looking wild.

I moved over her and balanced my elbows next to her face, feeling the grip on my shirt loosen by the seconds, until her fists finally fell.

"Syaoran?" Her breath felt warm against my face, and I liked it. The way she said my name. It sounded weak and strained. Always the way I liked it.

I fell against her, and smirked. I could feel her muscles tighten underneath me. Her stomach tensing, and her knees shaking lightly.

"Heard you were looking for me." I breathed in her perfume and then pushed back her fists. Roses. An excess amount of roses.

She shook under me the moment I caught her fingers in mine and held them away.

She was here. Finally. Right in front of me. Just like I imagined her to be. Looking pretty and glam. Her pink lips slightly apart shielding her pearly teeth.

They shook tightly the moment I stayed still over her, my body firm against hers. Her fingers moved absently in mine, and I held them tight.

"What…what are you doing?" Her question came out at the end her voice wavering in chords.

I kissed her again. Slowly. Harshly. I didn't let her move, and she didn't resist.

I pushed back the hair off her forehead, and snuck into her cheek, breathing her hair.

"Nothing." I answered after a while.

Then I noticed a crucifix around her neck. Large and beaded with blue and white crystals. I never knew she was a Christian.

Then again, I didn't know anything about her.

The room seemed dark and cornered in the mess and loudness behind the door. It was Yamazaki's room. The closest I could find to keep us alone. My room would probably be crashed by now.

I felt her touch my back, and pinch my shirt in her fingers.

It felt nice to be like this.

I didn't know what to say. I never really talked to girls. They never talked either. But here I was, hoping she'd just say something.

The white of her sleeved shirt almost glowed, but I stayed tight to her hair.

I'd had enough of thinking about her all the time. Dreaming like some loser. I was gonna get this over with. Maybe if I could just stay with her all night, I'd forget.

But I didn't move.

I didn't want to.

I moved in beside her, and I heard her breathing again.

I had to grin as she turned her head to look at me. She was finally here with me. I didn't have to go through dreaming about her again.

She was murmuring things.

"This isn't a dream." She repeated herself, and I pulled her closer to me, "You're real." She was smiling a little.

I held her by her hair and covered over her, "Yeah. I'm real."

Her knees knocked against mine lightly, and she fell aside me, her arm tightening.

I pushed back her hair, and pulled back from her cheeks

She was smiling.

Sakura Kinomoto P.O.V

"I'm real." His voice seemed to have echoed through me leaving me burning and freezing at the same time.

I pulled myself next to him, and threw my arm firmer. His fingers raked through my hair, and I had to smile.

It wasn't a dream.

I touched his face. Leanb.

He wasn't a dream.

He kissed me again. His hand leaving mine, and going around my waist and holding me against him.

He was real.

Real.

He was kissing me for real. No more dreaming for me.

My body fell limp under him, and I was lost in the bliss. His lips were soft. Exotic and it felt crazy.

A hand lifted up my back, and I caught my balance around his arm, closing my eyes.

I held the back of his neck; just like I'd wanted to for days, and ran my fingers through his brown strands. They felt soft in my fingers, and I could almost feel his lips smiling against mine.

My jeans felt rough against his, and I had to open my eyes. I know it's rude to when you're kissing someone, but I just had to memorize this moment.

I just had to make it seem real.

His eyes were closed. And I was right.

He was smiling.

My heart soared through the darkness around us. The blasting music didn't bother me anymore.

As long as he was here. With me.

I wouldn't say I wasn't surprised. But I didn't want to forget even the littlest of this. I wanted to remember every time he would breath in. Everytime he would nuzzle against my neck, and his grip would tighten around me. Every little sigh.

I didn't want to know why he was doing this.

No.

But I thanked God anyways.

Maybe those days of voluntary work in the church was actually being paid off. Maybe those days of infatuating and drooling in my dreams were finished.

Maybe he would just ask me out right now. Maybe he would say he didn't care if everyone called him an outcast because he would still want to be with me. He would confess how he couldn't resist me anymore, and wanted me to forgive him for spending time with that girl he was with just minutes ago. He would take off that ring in his ear, and swear he would never touch drugs.

Then maybe we could come up with a plan and run away together. Away from my dad. He wouldn't have to worry about marrying me off to some restpecable creepy man with an interest in archeology.

We'd buy a house from that money in my account, and Syaoran would go working somewhere while I looked after the house. And then one day he'd buy a diamond ring without telling me, and fall down on his knees the moment he would get home, grab my hand smoothly and…

"Hey! Open the goddamn door Syaoran! I know you're in there!"

The bedroom door almost threatened to give away with the load of raps it got, and for a second I lost track of what was happening.

Syaoran didn't move away, and I didn't dare myself.

He didn't seem to be looking bother, but the banging kept on going.

"Get the fuck out Syaoran! I'm bloody tired, and Chiharu's spazzing out on me!" Then came the kicks.

I could hear the string of light curses in my hair, and then he was up. The coldness almost stung me.

He didn't look back, and I lay sprawled on the bed. Confused. A little hurt.

He didn't turn the lights on. No. He didn't look back either. He unlocked the door. Opened it, and before I knew it, it was slammed shut. And I was in the dark again. The voice from outside didn't yell anymore, and so I waited.

Waited.

And waited.

But he didn't come. He never came.

The coldness in the night suddenly seemed to throw itself on top of me. I shivered in my sleeves, and pushed my hair off my face. Wasn't it warm just a few minutes ago?

The time seemed to go by slowly and painfully. I could hear cars zooming by. I could hear the music changing. I could here thumps from next door.

I stayed tight in the mess. I waited. He wouldn't just leave me here…would he?

My eyes suddenly prickled in the ruffled sheets, and I grabbed the nearest pillow, just incase my eyes betrayed me. And just incase the screws in my eye came loose.

He could have at least said a sorry, and asked me to leave the room.

He could have at least turned around, smiled and said bye.

He could have at least said he wanted to meet me again.

But he didn't.

His friends would probably come in any moment now.

Laugh.

Point. And laugh. The whole school would doubtlessly know by tomorrow. That I hooked up with an outcast. Tomoyo and Rika wouldn't talk to me anymore. I doubt Van and Eriol would even look at me.

And he would probably be there. Some girl dragging him off to that Resource room.

The spine of my back suddenly gave in, and I hauled myself off the bed, kicking off the sheets that came in my way.

Damn him! The tears fell fast without consulting me. They felt like fire.

I swayed around for a second, wiping them off my cheeks. My face felt hot. Was I burning?

I caught my head, and made my way to the door.

Did he use me?

Was he just making fun of me?

Then where was that guy who had been banging on the door?

I flung the door open, and for a second I was blinded by the extremeness of the light and loudness.

I almost pushed myself out. Almost bumped into a snogging couple. I looked around.

I couldn't see anyone particularly interested in getting the door open. And I couldn't see Syaoran. Was he in some other room by now? With some other girl?

I swear. I think I could have almost bawled out right there and then. My knees suddenly felt weak, and pushed myself forward.

Hurled through five drunk guys, the strength in the music almost blocking away my thumping thoughts.

I think I was crying again, because I could feel something wet on my cheeks. But they went away with the back of my hand. I sniffled, stepping over a guy and not bothering to apologize.

I found the door. Blocked by snoggers. Trailed with beer cans and things that I just stomped over.

My eyes went blurry again, so I threw myself through the door. Shivered as the coldness stung into my skin again.

I cursed as my boots got caught in the string of more beer cans outside the hallway. There weren't many people out here this time, so I forced myself to knock the cans over, tearing myself through another glued couple, and running towards the sight of an elevator.

I just had to get home now.

Home.

And snuggle into bed, and cry my heart out.

I punched the button with my fist, my breath coming short and the tears almost reeling out. My throat had knotted up by now, and it felt dry. Very dry. Like someone had just shoved cotton into my mouth.

I knew I was about to cry again. I just knew it. And I didn't want to do that in front of anybody. Even if it meant in front of these people who were a bunch of drunkards at the moment.

I kicked the metal door when it didn't open. I kept kicking it, letting my boots crash into it mercilessly.

I yelled out a little. I don't think anyone heard me over the bounding of the music. I jammed my thumb on the button again.

"Open dammit!" I kicked again, and at this I could feel my eyes ready to throw out the tears.

Why was I always so stupid to trust people?

Why hadn't I known that this guy would fit his description of being the kind of asshole he was? Even Meiling had asked me to stay away from him. But no. I just couldn't resist could I?

I've always been the girl to go against what ever thrown my way. Good or bad.

Bad, because that was the only way around it. And good because, there was always someone up there who turned things like porridge too thick.

Personally, between you and me, I'm no fan for porridge. Thick or thin thank you very much.

But yet, here I was getting this damn elevator to open, and trying to keep me from just falling down and start crying.

Why hadn't I just listened? Dad had asked me to stay away from guys like Syaoran just this morning. The ones who were misguided, and didn't care of what they did.

I should have stuck with everything I had. Like Van. He wanted me. But now. I had to reject him and go for his stark opposite. Syaoran.

Why hadn't I just stayed home and finished off hearing Kero and Touya go for each other's throats?

It wasn't like I liked Syaoran that much. Sure I was obsessed. But there were always limits to it right?

There was always a boundary to show you where to stop this infatuation right? Was this where it all stopped?

The dead-end to my possibly ruined love life?

Was this how it would always be? It had been the same with a few guys in Tokyo before. Eriol was obviously the same as them. But could I expect something different out of Syaoran when he'd just ditched me?

No.

I know I've always been stupid and an idiot when it came to guys. But how could I've actually thought that I was in love? How could I've been so dumb?

So blind.

I gave the door another kick. This time a weaker one.

Even this damn elevator won't listen to me. Who else would then?

"Open up." I could feel my shoulders shaking, and I could feel my chest jumping with the rhythm of the tears behind my eyes.

I was so stupid.

So crazy when it came to guys.

I didn't even have the right hooks to pick the fishes out of the sea. This time I actually went against everything, and fallen for some bad boy.

A real bad boy.

A guy who just threw me away in the first ten minutes. Was I that pathetic?

I whacked the door for an extra measure, suddenly feeling very alone and left out.

Who was I trying to kid?

I was pathetic.

"Pathetic." I scowled at the door, giving it one last kick, and hovering up my screwed tears.

"Y'know. It don't matter if you're some macho chic. That door don't open for no one."

I cringed in my spot and whirled around at the voice, my anger suddenly blaring at whoever had decided to sneak up on me, "Damn it! Does it look like I freakin' care!? It can goddamn go to hell and rot with you!!"

Maybe I shouldn't have pushed the guy across his shoulders. Maybe I shouldn't have grabbed his shirt.

"If it doesn't want to open, then I'll make it open! I can do whatever I want, do you get me?! I can burn it! I can strangle it! I can kick it! I can turn it into a pig, and send it flying! I can do whatever I bloody want! So why don't you be a good boy and go back to bed huh?!"

I jammed him against the wall, his shirt balled in my fists, my breath come in short and sharp rasps. For a second, I almost fell. For a second, I could have almost cried on him.

But then I looked up.

I had to look up.

"Fine" He was grinning, "I'll be a good boy and go to bed. Are you gonna come with me or what?"

I don't know how I didn't recognize his voice before. I don't know how I had the strength to push around someone like him.

He didn't seem surprised.

No.

He was just holding me tight. Hadn't he just left me for some other prettier girl?

Syaoran Li P.O.V

The moment she looked up, she didn't blink.

Her curses stopped in midway, and it was almost like she was frozen. Almost funny. Her face was looking priceless, and I could see the redness in her eyes. Was she crying?

"What?" I managed to speak, grabbing her around the waist, and pulling her tight, "Is that a yes?"

Her expression was looking tangled. Tensed. And before I knew, she was pushing me away. Something I wasn't expecting.

She was whirling around and punching the elevator button again, her voice rumbling softly.

"It's crashed…if you wanna know. Stuck on the second floor."

Her movement had stopped, and she took the chance to look over shoulders and glare at me, "I knew that."

"Sure you did."

And with that she was stalking off, half-running towards the stairs.

"Hey!"

I couldn't take the chance of letting her go off like that. No. So I ran after her. Taking two steps at a time.

I never could let go of a girl when I had her.

Especially not this one.

I loved the smell of her hair. Like roses.

Sakura Kinomoto P.O.V

I couldn't believe it!

I swear to Christ, I couldn't believe what was happening? But I was running. That was all that mattered.

I don't think I could hold myself if I had to see his face once more.

Cheeky. With beautiful eyes.

No. I had to get out of there. Even if it meant, that I'd have to walk home alone in the middle of the night.

"What the hell's wrong with you? Wait up!" I could hear him yelling from behind me, but I didn't stop.

"Bitch!"

He was near, but I pretended not to hear him. I would just act normal, and say it was time for me to go home. I would just pretend that nothing happened. Just pretend that I was fine, and these tears that were falling were just particles of a hologram. Artificial drops of water.

I slapped them away the moment I took a turn.

I think he saw them. I think he saw my face. Because his fingers were suddenly around my elbow, hauling me back against him. Hard and painfully.

I tried pushing him away again, but he just held me tight. Awfully close.

For some reason I couldn't say anything. I couldn't yell at him. I couldn't scratch him in the face or kick him where it'd really hurt him.

"Wanna explain?!" He had me trapped against the walls of the stairs, his face inches away from mine, "There ain't no dog behind you, y'know. So you gotta shut your yap."

I looked away, my pounding heart grazing against my rib cage, my lips breathing for air. I could feel his hair tickling my face, his arms hard against mine, and his soft panting. I didn't look at him. I couldn't. I was shaking.

"What's got you so pissed?" he was very near. Too near. "Eh?"

"You." I whispered, not being able to take his closeness anymore and having him touch me like that. Why was he acting like he didn't know anything? "You!" I leaned back against the wall, but he didn't let me go.

I don't think he heard me, because he wasn't saying anything after that. And I didn't expect him to. He probably thought I was just another one of those sluts who came and went.

But, why had he run after me then?

Wasn't he finished with me?

I could hear him chuckle in my ear, his lips grazing against my neck, his cheek inclined against mine. "Bitch." His voice was quiet and not even a little scraped.

I shook my head, but I didn't push him away, "Screw you."

Then he kissed my cheek.

He kissed my jaw.

"I like bitches."

I couldn't understand his talk. I couldn't.

I stared at him for seconds. Scowling. Gritting my jaw. "Why did you leave me then?" the question sounded alien to my own ears. Childish. But, there. I asked him. I finally tore away my nerve and let the blood fall. Sounds gory right?

Syaoran laughed again, his lips brushing past the corner of mine, and a hand suddenly in my hair.

"Hey, I didn't leave you. You ran off."

I suddenly caught my breath, "What?" I froze, my jaw suddenly running out of energy to grit anymore, "I ran off? I ran off?" I was lost for words for a second but it didn't last any longer, "Are you crazy? If you knocked yourself somewhere on your head, let me jog your dead memory. You walked off. You just got up, and left. In conclusion, you ran off! Are we on the same plane now or what?"

He pulled back a little; "Wait a sec. You got cracked over that?" he started chuckling, "That I ran off?"

He didn't know what he was talking about. Cracked?

I glowered at him, gripping onto the side of his shirt, trying to push him away; "I need to go home. So if you can let me go, that would be nice." Maybe a change on subject would be good. Definitely.

He rolled his eyes, "Ain't it past your curfew already?"

I didn't catch his eyes.

"How about we go back up and talk this out?" Syaoran continued.

I held past him again, "No." I said firmly, "I'm going home."

"Home?" he laughed a little, then paused, "Okay." He let out a stalled breath, his head pressed against mine, "Listen to this then." Our noses bumped as he continued, his breath warm on my face, "I didn't bloody walk out on you. You've got it all rollin' in your lil' head. All right?"

Great.

Now he expected me to believe that.

"My mates don't like me making out with some random girl in their rooms. They pay me rent. Not the other way 'round. So I gotta keep it clean if I need my money."

I scoffed at him. Laughed a little, and tore myself away from him, jogging down the stairs before he had the chance to grab me again. I wasn't random.

Guys called me bitches and other rated words…but…never random. Never.

"Where're you going?" his voice was low in octaves.

I didn't turn to look at him, "Home. But tell Meiling thanks for getting me here." I didn't see his face darken. I didn't see his glare; "I had fun. Lots of it."

I kept at my calm pace.

Calm.

With trembling knees.

This time…I was walking away from him. From a guy I was crazy over. Would this craziness go away this time? Now that I knew more about him?

"It wasn't Meiling y'know." I could hear him muttering the moment I took the last step down.

"What?" I stopped for a few seconds, wanting more than ever to hear him out.

He wasn't smiling anymore. No. He hadn't moved an inch from where he stood before. "You think she wanted you here?"

I frowned readily, clearly confused, "Come again?"

He looked exactly the same when I saw him on my first day at school. Black shirt, torn jeans, spiked hair gone messy, with that little ring in his ear catching the light of the bulb

Just the way I'd liked him. Why would it ever get any different?

"It was my idea." His voice was quiet over the thumping above us; "Do you think Meiling would have the guts?"

I stood there tight, unable to understand anything and everything he was saying.

"What. What do you mean?"

He gave me one long hard stare, then came bounding down the stairs. Not even looking my way.

"Let's go." Before I knew it he was walking past me; hands in his pockets, cringing a little as he opened the door and then out of my sight.

Without wasting a moment, I ran after him.

"Where are we going?" I couldn't help but ask as he took a turn down what seemed to be a parking slot.

"I'm driving you."

I froze in my steps, shaking my head, "No thanks. But I'm walking."

He was instantly throwing me a scowl as he pressed onto his beeper, "If you wanna get raped, why not make it a lil' more obvious then, huh?"

I bit onto my tongue, suddenly feeling very embarrassed and angry. How could he talk about something like that? "Shut up!" My fiery tongue came back, "I'm not gonna get raped all right? I can take care of myself. I don't need you telling—,"

"Why don't you save it all for your wedding aight? I don't have time listening to crap all night." He was suddenly grabbing me and dragging me towards his car.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!" I was screaming all the way until he had himself strapped, "I'm not gonna say something like that at my wedding."

"Cap your bullshit, bitch." That was all he said, before turning to look around and taking the car into reverse.

And there I was, already planning our wedding. Idiot. He sure knew how to kill a girl's dreams.

We didn't speak a word till the moment we were on my street. The heat seemed to have gone down, and I had more than a nagging feeling about this.

Maybe I shouldn't have gone and said all that to him. Maybe I should have stayed there for a little while and made good use of the luck I was getting. Maybe he hadn't really ditched me.

But it was too late now.

"You can stop here." I motioned him to a white building that stayed dull in the dark night.

"It's not even your house."

I kept myself from looking at him; "If you really have to know, I snuck out. I can't just knock on the door and expect to be allowed to go to bed."

He didn't say anything more, but parked the car on the right curb, the silence suddenly feeling very disturbing.

He'd been kind enough to give me a lift. I had to say at least a thank you. Or a sorry for kicking his dead elevator. Maybe these boots wouldn't be that strong enough to give it a few dents?

"Um…" I started turning to him slowly and nervously, "Thanks for the ride," I gave him a sarcastic giggle after that, "And thanks to you, at least I didn't get raped."

That might not have been a good enough joke, but the least he could do was crack a smile, and make the tension easy for both of us.

But instead, he had that strange look on his face. I could almost hear him say, 'Get out lame-o. I have better things to do than hear your dry jokes'.

I should have been angry at him. But I wasn't anymore.

I should have been getting out and slamming the door in his face. But I wasn't.

I was stammering. Feeling nauseous, and getting all the symptoms you get when you're near someone you're head over heels with.

I reached out for the door. Dejected. And angry with myself. I always went for the wrong guys. Either they got too harsh or either they played around with me like Kero's rag doll that my brother had thrown away the other day.

But before I'd gotten too carried away with my thoughts, I felt him snatch my wrist.

"Sakura. I didn't ask you to leave." The moment I turned around, I caught his eyes glowing in the light, and his fingers slipped into mine. Slowly. Silently. Softly.

I didn't move an inch.

I had made up my mind to ask him what he meant when he said that it was 'his idea'.

But I didn't get the chance. I could hardly open my mouth.

And I don't suppose he was the kind of guy, who would beat around the bush, because after pulling me closer, he was kissing me again.

No. I don't think I'd ever get enough of kissing him. Never.

He held me close, and I tried not to show how surprised I was. I regained my consciousness after a while, demanding myself whether to kiss him back or not.

He pulled back for a second, his lips brushing past my chin, and catching his breath. When they were back in level with mine, I made my decision.

I swallowed the cotton in my throat, and gripped onto his fingers. They felt smooth against my clammy ones. This time, I leaned and kissed him once.

Then twice.

"What did you mean, when you said it was your idea?"

He trailed his chin over mine; "I…wanted you to come." His kissed me this time; making my heart skipped a beat; "Meiling had nothing to do with it."

I was shocked.

More that shocked, "You mean…?"

He gave a little sigh as his fingers curled behind my neck, "Man. You talk a lot." And without recognizing my grunt, he caught himself in the parting of my lips again.

We were pulling apart after a few seconds, and the dizziness in me faltered away as he left my fingers.

Uncertainly I looked around, and straightened my shirt a little. Hell, I was nervous.

"Um…I…I better go."

And before I could take it any longer, I pushed the door open, jumped out and slammed it behind me.

Syaoran didn't waste time in starting up the engine. No.

He gave me one side-glance, and then he was gone. The muffler of his car riding away into the silent street.

I peeked around discreetly. Nobody would have heard that at this time of the night, right?

I smiled wistfully, and started the way to my house.

It stood tall and angry before me.

I gave a little laugh, and shook a little. Kicking off my shoes, I went forward to climb the tree outside my window. I could see the little slit in between the glasses, so I finally gave in a sigh of relief.

I wasn't bothered if someone would see me breaking into my own house. I wouldn't care if they called the police.

Because I was on Cloud 9.

Now, only if Kero wouldn't bark that loud, I'm suspecting I'd get through the night without much trouble.

Syaoran Li P.O.V

I don't know why, but as soon as I reached back to the apartment, I locked myself in my room after kicking out Shiroi and some half-naked girl.

I had fun, but I hadn't had enough. Not even near enough.

I hadn't planned on letting Sakura go so soon. I hadn't planned on getting frustrated over that.

I was supposed to be over her by now.

But I wasn't.

She was gone, and I wanted her with me.

"Damn it!" The wall didn't seem to have any effect with my punches, so I just had to drag myself and fall in bed.

She'd been a little weird…but I liked weird. I liked stupid and crazy girls.

She gotten pissed when I'd gone to talk to Yamazaki. Thinking that I'd ditched her.

Man.

That was crazy.

In fact, it almost felt nice. I could tell she wanted me. Heh. Like hell she did.

She was wild for a goody. With all the kicking Harotori got from her, I wouldn't be surprised if he'd jump her sometime.

She'd been a little out of it. I don't think I can remember her being like that at school. But then again, I don't even know her.

I liked her.

Was that it?

I hardly liked girls. One small fling. And they were gone.

But she'd been so…weird.

I wouldn't bet on it if she wouldn't mouth this off to someone else. Yeah. Girls like her always got me in trouble.

They bring their 'man' out on me.

Jeez.

Don't know how much of a man Hiiragizawa ever was, but he was a wuss. Pretty boys like him didn't dirty their crossed faces.

But since he had his own girl, I don't think he'd be worrying if I did a little borrowing.

No one would find out. No.

I don't think the lil' fool would tell anyone.

She was a little ditzy. A little silly. A little bitch.

Then again, I've always liked little bitches that could give a few punches to retards.

Sakura Kinomoto P.O.V

Tomoyo hadn't stopped going on about how her date last night had been. With Eriol off course. All alone, driving around in his car. Yada. Yada. Ya.

She continued to emphasize every point till I reached to the stage where I could have blown up.

Nope.

She didn't have the slightest clue that I didn't care.

I didn't care about their so-called relationship or what they did.

I didn't give a damn about Eriol.

He could ask her to marry him for all I cared, because there was no way what they could have done would have been completely wild as the night I had.

No.

Never.

I could have boasted. I could be the one babbling out like her right now. But Tomoyo didn't need to know.

It was lunch, and she'd dragged me off with her story.

Eriol had been nearby, watching me. Then had been dragged off to a soccer meeting.

I couldn't help but grin. Cheers to you too Mr. Ass, there was no way he was ever gonna see me jealous over his cheap charms. The loser didn't even get it by now.

His charms were getting old, which by the way, had to be second-hand.

Van hadn't even been conversing with me. Not even a little 'hi'. It didn't surprise me. He probably couldn't stand seeing my face after that 'kinda-rejection' I'd given him yesterday.

Yeah. He was history.

Besides, I'm sure he'd get over me soon.

Guys don't stay single for long after they've liked someone like me.

But I hadn't seen Syaoran around either.

Maybe he didn't want to talk to me anymore?

Maybe he couldn't face me?

Somehow, I didn't think that was entirely true, because last night he'd been different. He hadn't walked out on me, and he hadn't charged me for kicking his elevator.

Even after I'd gone crazy and retarded, he'd run after me.

And he wouldn't have done that if he didn't like me even a little bit.

"And then I met his mom. I can't believe how cool she was!" Tomoyo went on blabbering, while I continued to poke around with my salad. The coleslaw stunk, and all the talking was making me dizzy.

Rika beside me slurped on her juice, her expression looking equally bored as mine, and Van who sat the furthest away from me, didn't even bother to look like he was listening. His eyes were on me. Frowning. And it was definitely creeping me out.

But thank goodness, Eriol decided to pop in at that moment, shutting off Tomoyo with a kiss and sliding in beside her, "Hey baby."

Rika and I sighed in unison, breaking the humid atmosphere, while the two unlocked after a 'Get a damn room' from Van.

He immediately got in a discussion with Eriol, while Tomoyo leaned over the table looking suspicious, "Girl. What did you do to him? He doesn't even talk to you," she whispered behind her hand, with Rika nodding all the way.

"He even rejected this girl who asked him out after homeroom."

I didn't know what to say, so I just kept my mouth shut and managed to look away before they could say anymore.

"Sakura!" Rika went on hissing, "You wouldn't know how he is if you don't give him a go y'know."

Great. They made him sound like he was some bikini in a surf store.

"Yeah." Tomoyo piped in, "You can dump him after a week. He wouldn't even be interested in you after that."

Yup. Just great. Now they made me sound like a polka-dot bikini.

Ah.

Hell with bikinis.

Grabbing my books, I stood up hastily, picking my tray, "Uh…I need to go to the library. I'll…see you guys later."

Rika was glancing into Van's watch, "Bell's gonna ring in a few minutes. Why bother?"

Plastering on a nervous smile, I slid the tray over the counter, backing out, "I need to get this book for History. I have this stupid assignment, and I—," but I was out of there before I even realized that Van took History too.

Oh. Damn it. But I had to get out of there, before Tomoyo could go on about Van and his sexiness.

Why couldn't she just be happy with Eriol and butt out along with Rika?

Unfortunately, I hadn't gotten far away, before I heard my name being called. It was a guy.

God. Oh god. Speak of the devil.

Van was jogging towards me, my skin jumping with each step he took nearer to me.

"Thought I'd help you with your History." He was smiling a little along with every pant, "Whatever it's about."

He seemed to have caught onto my lie, but it didn't matter anymore.

"Look. Van I really—,"

"Y'know, I don't care." He interrupted me before I could even start my apology, "I know you already have a boyfriend, but I don't care. Ryoga or whatever his name was. Screw him." He was too close to me.

Ryoga?

"You gotta go out with me. It's not like he's gonna find out or anything. And I…I like you."

Before I knew it, his fingers were tucking back my hair and I happened to notice that he was beginning to lean on me.

I gave a hard gulp, and instantly pulled away, laughing all the way. As forced and nervous as I could make it. It felt like a perfect déjà vu, except this time it was Van instead of Eriol.

"Van. I…uh…this isn't good."

"Why not?" He fired back scowling and dangerously near, "I like you. And I know you like me."

It was a little funny how he could admit something like that so freely and how I'd been waiting to hear that same thing from Syaoran.

"Look. Van, I—,"

"I can make you like me."

"Hey, I really don't—,"

"Forget about Ryoga. He's gotta be some wuss anyway!" His face was suddenly over mine, and my cold feet were back to sending shivers down my back.

I was backing off instinctively, "Van. Please. You're freaking me out."

His smile suddenly looked very crazy, "Right."

"Honestly. And there are people watching." I was glancing around at my own words, and I caught a few smiles.

"Good for them." He turned on a smug look, then brushed his fingers over my forehead, "But I have a meeting right now."

I swear, I'm sure he could have seen my relief right through me.

"Break it off with him." He was taking steps back, "It's gonna be easier for you."

My words were blocked off, and I didn't even have the strength to say anything. But with a small wave he was gone.

Walking off.

Leaving me breathing hard and full of cold blood.

Argh! That idiot. First he confesses, and then he runs off?

The hallway was empty by then. The only few guys who'd been there had went into the cafeteria, and it suddenly felt all weird.

Pushing back my thoughts, I continued down the hallway. My footsteps echoing and my dry sweat disappearing with my deep sighs.

Things happened in an eye-blink after that.

In front of me was suddenly Syaoran. Scowling. His face darkened, and his jaw gritting.

His hand was suddenly grabbing me and hauling me off into one of the classrooms. Slamming the door close, I was thrown against the door, and his forehead was jammed against mine harshly.

"A close friend of yours?" his voice came sounding hoarse and loud over my thumping heart.

I knew he was talking about Van, and in that one second I knew he'd seen us.

I think I'd paled.

"Just…a friend." I gulped as he fell against me, his cold fingers slipping into mine and gripping them tight.

"Bullshit." His parted lips brushed over my face.

Then he kissed me.

Angrily.

Aggressively.

Roughly.

He didn't let go of my hand, and his kisses suddenly flew down my neck, his voice in deep whispers.

"You didn't punch him." He had me clamped shut again.

"You didn't do nothing!" He had already opened up my mouth, and the force had already brought my knees to its end, so I stayed hanging in between the door and him. Embarrassed. Confused. And happy at the same time.

For that moment, I didn't know why he was doing this.

But I knew he was pissed.

Shinsei Kokoro