Author's Note – All apologies to you guys for taking so long.

Title – Head Over Heels

Author – Shinsei Kokoro

Chapter - 13 – Dilemma

Beta Reader – Amai

Updated – 11th January 2005

Sakura Kinomoto P.O.V

Mom had tried calling a few minutes back, but she only got as far as leaving two messages. The woman tried so hard to get her daughter to love her. Bleh. I swear to Christ, I couldn't sound cornier.

When I came downstairs for a snack, I wasn't surprised to see Dad in front of the phone, staring at it like a hawk would at its enemy. He was playing the messages over and over again. Mom's messages. I felt like taking a vase and smashing it over his head. Or rather, maybe I could practice it on my head first.

But I didn't bother saying anything. There was nothing I could say that would make him feel like he never lost the lottery. So the vase remained safe out of my reach. Lucky stuff.

Touya still wasn't home, and it was starting to kill me every time Dad would just walk around the house standing in front of photo frames. Mom wasn't in any one of them. I had taken them all out last summer.

I didn't know what to do.

Okay, I felt hopeless. Seriously lost and demented.

I was sick of everything that was going on, and I wanted to shove dad in the coldest pool and make him get out of the trance he was in. On second thought, it didn't seem much of an idea. The deal is Dad could hardly float on water.

Ever since Friday when he came home drunk, he has been looking tipped off. He took a sick leave today, and it was unusual to have him around on a Sunday evening looking like he'd just took a swig of a bottle of whiskey, it was a little good.

Because this way Kero had someone else to pester and head-butt, and I could have some unheard company at the same time.

Dad gave me a little smile as I went past him into the kitchen.

"Want a sandwich?" I paused a little, looking at his flimsy figure hunched over the counter.

He gave me the smallest of smiles, "Yeah, why not. Not too much lettuce though, please."

I nodded and took the order. I should probably quit the volunteer job at church and start new as a waitress.

Kero came bounding the moment I opened the fridge, but it was closed by the time he skidded across the floor and crashed into the door. He lay there sprawled for a while, before jumping back onto his paws and giving me his dog-wants-human-food look. I ignored him as usual, so he went back to whining around Dad.

He was a very busy man, but today, he looked like he had just been fired. If he wasn't giving lectures at his university, then he would have been at some conference about a dig in Egypt or something. It was all Mr. Busy with him, and with his laid back attitude at the moment, it almost scared me. Where was my old Daddy?

For a second, I almost thought it would be okay to joke with him that it was still the same old hangover from two nights ago, but it seemed unpleasant, and so I thought it was best to drop the subject all together.

When I came back out of the kitchen, Dad was in a new position. He was on the couch. Kero at his feet. And telephone in hand.

"Did you hear? She wants you to go meet her new son."

I gave the plate to him wordlessly, and smiled a little when he thanked me. He was talking about the stepbrother I found I out I had. Double duh.

After that, I was back to being locked in my room.

I got the music blaring a little, and put on something funky just for the sake of it. After practically pulling all my clothes out, I struggled into my tightest top and a velvet skirt I hadn't worn for months. Then I threw myself into bed and pulled the bed covers over me.

I didn't want to think about Mom.

I didn't want to think about Dad.

And I didn't want to think about Syaoran.

I didn't want to think about anything really. I just wanted my head without thoughts for once. Just for once.

In the middle of all that intense thinking I don't know when I dozed off, but when I woke up; it was because of the screeches of tires. They'd been shrill and combative, and I was pissed.

Some prick, pathetic prick, had just woken me from one of the most peaceful sleep I've had in days, and I was gonna make sure they regretted it.

Kicking back my covers, I tugged back the curtains angrily. I pulled myself up against the window and strained my eyes against the setting sun to see across the street.

The first thing I saw was a black car. A black sports car. Rather familiar and parked right in front of our house. Tire streaks behind it, and the smoke puffs from the muffler.

I scooted back a little before slamming it open and poking out my entire head just to see if I had been mistaken.

But no, it was a black car.

Syaoran's car.

And even though I couldn't see the person driving it from this distance, I knew it would be him.

This time, it wasn't a falsetto. It was definitely Syaoran. And he'd come to see me.

I leapt out of bed in a matter of seconds and came tripping down the stairs as softly as I could. Dad appeared to have dozed off with the phone in hand, but Kero was nowhere to be seen.

I found him scratching at the front door, and in a spurt of the moment, I grabbed his collar and dragged him away while he whined and protested lightly.

It probably wasn't the right place to lock a dog in, but the kitchen had to be it. It was the nearest and only room that could resist him.

I tiptoed back to fling open the door, and ran to unlatch the gate barefoot.

Once on the curb, I leaned down to the height of the car, and grasped at the driver's window, my weight most probably careening onto it.

It was him. It was Syaoran.

I just knew it had to be him. And there he was.

His head was turned towards me, and I knocked on the glass as he rolled it down after a while of looking mildly surprised.

"Hey!" I gushed out without much control. I could have grabbed his face and kissed him right then, but it didn't seem like the best thing to do, and I pushed back my urges.

When he didn't say a word, I pulled on my brightest smile and stepped onto the road to bring myself just a little more closer to him, "What's up?"

There were creases on his forehead, and I knew that wasn't the kind of greeting he'd been looking around for, "How come you're here?" I tried again.

"Why'd you come to the apartment?" his voice was tight, and that was when I drew back.

"What?" I felt a clot suddenly surfacing in my throat. So he'd found out, but why was he sounding so stingy about it? "Oh that. I just came to talk...to you." Okay, that was good.

He looked to the other side for a second before turning towards me again with an unhealthy frown playing on his features, "About what?"

I tried swallowing, but I just ended up speculating his gritted jaw, "Is...is there something wrong? Did something happen?"

He looked like he was just about to explode, but his face remained devoid of any eruption, "No." He was speaking through his teeth, I just knew it. There was something wrong.

I knew I shouldn't have gone over to his place. I know now. I shouldn't have. He wasn't saying what he was supposed to, and I clung onto the open window, "Are you sure?"

He glanced up at me with his narrowed eyes, "No."

That's it.

That was just it. What more could I've said? There was obviously something wrong, and I kicked myself for it. Stupid. Why had I even bothered?

We stayed there in silence for a while. He had his fingers clenched around the wheel and I was starting to get Goosebumps in the middle of summer. No. That wasn't healthy. Not at all.

"I shouldn't have come over, right?" I decided it had to be me. I had to be the one to break the tense wave of nausea.

When he didn't say anything, I let my feet press against the sharp little roadside stones and I mumbled in my quietest voice, "I'm sorry." His jaw turned a little, "I-I hope I didn't get you into trouble."

"Trouble?" he scoffed instantly, and I felt myself just hanging on with a tipsy grip.

He wasn't even looking at me, so without saying another word I turned around. I pretended not to have heard him when he called my name out, and I didn't even bother to latch the gate as I went back inside.

I guessed it was just better to leave it like that when I had nothing to say. What more could I have said? That I had just come over to ask him if we were really going out, or if we were just messing around?

No.

I couldn't have said that.

So I left him outside and ran upstairs to my room. I slammed the door behind me, pulled back my curtains and jumped back into bed. It was only after a while that I heard the car pull away roughly. Syaoran didn't seem to be in a mood better than I had either.

I laid there stiff between my covers, my crucifix tucked under my chin and my eyes stinging.

Just for one day, I wanted to forget about everything. Just for one day, I wanted something good to happen.

Syaoran Li P.O.V

The roads couldn't be any damn packed right then.

There were oldies in their Volkswagen everywhere and once in a while I felt like giving them a push from the back. They had to be going at least at 50k and it was giving me a hard time.

I took a turn at the traffic honking all the way, ignoring the people who stuck out they heads to swear at me. Goddamn lazy asses, that's what they had. By the time they even got anywhere, they'd be growing yellow nails in their graves.

Shiroi was back when I got the car parked inside the garage. He had his girlfriend on the couch, and Meiling was flipping through the channels. One look at me, and she was up on her feet, stalking off to her room.

Yamazaki was in the kitchen standing near the stove, an apple clenched in his teeth and Chiharu at the table, reading the magazine I had been going through this morning. She had on a nose ring I've never seen her wear before and it made her look a little bit like a hedgehog. With the spiked hair and all. She didn't even look up at me, so I wasn't complaining.

Yamazaki turned around when I pulled out a chair, then turned off the heat, apple in hand.

"Where'd you go?"

Chiharu shifted a little as if showing me how engrossed she was in the shitty magazine. She didn't have to try not listening.

I shrugged grabbing an apple myself, "Filled the car up." I took a fresh bite.

He nodded carefully and seemed to catch Chiharu's eyes just for a second.

I scowled at them. Dumping the apple in the bin with a crash, I headed straight for my room. Whatever they had been saying about me, I knew it was some bullshit. And I wasn't in the mood for getting any of that at the moment.

I stopped a little to see how everything was thrown across the floor and random things just stood out. Like a report card. A stopwatch. Fluorescent blue spray paint can which I used last year to add my own touch to the school auditorium. And there was the motherboard of a computer I used to have.

It would take quite a while to clean it, so I just went straight to bed.

Sakura had apologized.

Don't know why, but I couldn't stop thinking of that face when she said sorry. So it was a while until I could get some sleep, but I got heaps of it.

Surprisingly, I didn't wake up even when Yamazaki knocked on my door with some pizzas.

The next thing I knew, it was morning.

Seven something. And I could hear Meiling yelling from outside, followed by Yamazaki's small talk. I didn't even want to know what it was all about.

So I just pushed past Shiroi who probably had crashed the night on the couch again, and went for that hot shower before Chiharu could get in ahead of me like every other damn morning.

I noticed a shampoo lying around, and without another thought, I emptied it over my head.

Meiling would have to get another one.

When I came out into the kitchen, I found the reason of whatever they were all bitching about. Meiling, who still hadn't found her CD, was blaming it on Yamazaki again.

The guy wasn't even looking at her and she was trying her best to get the door to his room open.

"Come on Yama! Open the goddamn door! I know you have it!"

"I don't." he replied distractedly with eyes glued to the TV and sipping a drink. He looked up at me when I sat across him, then hissed at me in a rush "Hey, tell that cow I don't have her stuff. I already missed this show last time because of her. And I ain't gonna let it happen again. They still haven't found the killer."

While Meiling continued to scream behind me, he continued to watch the show. I just sat there watching it too. I had nothing better to do anyways.

Half an hour later, Meiling gave up and flopped in beside me with a large huff. I could see her staring at me for a while, before all three of us were watching the cop vs. killer program.

It was the driest thing I've ever seen. Shoot shoot, some innocent lady dies. Shoot shoot, the cops handcuff the killer.

It was a shock how both Meiling and Yamazaki hung onto their every word. But that's how they went against stupid things.

It was the same damn thing everywhere. The bad guys always got the core of the apple.

Sakura Kinomoto P.O.V

I hate Monday mornings. As in I detest it to the max of the boiling point of my blood. Not only was it the first day of the week, but it was also five long and tiring days until the weekend.

Dad was up and about around the dining table like a duck; which I thought was a little surprising. Touya was still scowling at me for locking Kero in the kitchen for five hours, and the said dog was running around the house with a sick stomach.

That's what he got for eating non-edible things. Stupid mutt.

"Good morning darling." Dad was pouring himself some tea from the pot, and I rolled my spoon around in my Fruit Loops. I crushed them into the milk and watched as they sprung up on the surface again to float.

"Morning." I grumbled loud enough so he could hear me. I wasn't in the mood for anything, and that more over made it seem like a chore that I was forced to do.

Touya sat opposite me, as usual with the sport section of the newspaper and as usual screaming when Kero came galloping like a horse to chew his socks underneath the table. He spent the next few minutes trying to kick the dog away.

Yes. They hated each other with a passion.

But unlike yesterday, Dad seemed rather calm. He was back to wearing his glasses, and I gulped when he looked up from his own section of the newspaper, straight at me. Why were they glinting?

"You'll be calling your Mother today, Sakura." Okay. I wasn't expecting that. "And you'll be going over to see your step-brother." Or that.

Yes. I almost choked on the loop when he said that. Hurrying my hands for my juice, I made an uncomfortable gargling noise to which Touya wrinkled his nose, "Sorry." I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and tried molding my throat back to its normal shape, "But, I think I didn't hear that right."

His eyes almost narrowed a little. And I could feel the back of my neck suddenly feeling itchy for a scratch.

"Sakura, you'll be calling your Mother when you get back home. She has left you enough messages on the phone."

Yup. He would know it, wouldn't he?

I gulped, then gave Touya a quick glare for not saying anything, "But...why?"

"Because." Dad sighed to add on some dramatic effect, "He's officially your brother." When I grimaced at his answer, he added on, "And she won't stop calling until you really go over."

I was up before I would let him go on anymore, "I told you Dad. I'm not going anywhere, and that's it."

"Sakura, she's still your Mother. And you still have to obey her you know."

I suddenly didn't know if that was my Dad speaking or Satan who had taken over his body. I pushed back my chair abruptly and stormed up to my room after giving him my most disgusted look and my quickest answer, "No."

I couldn't believe it! How could he say that? How could he actually say that stuff when he spent the entire weekend insulting her under his breath?! This was crazy! He was actually favoring her after all that she had done to him. He was actually favoring Mom over me. I couldn't believe it.

I tore out of my bathrobe in seconds and got into something that would match my mood. Grabbing whatever books and pens that came to my hand's reach, I practically ran out, and darted across Dad who'd decided to come up the stairs to.

"Sakura..." his voice seemed strained, but I just slammed the door.

It just seemed like the usual bloody thing to happen. There always had to be something that would wreck the day I hated the most. Always!

I found Touya waiting for me on the road, and I just buckled in without a word.

"Sakura." He started after a groan from my stomach, "I think you should listen to Dad. He-,"

"Just shut up and start the goddamn car will you?!" I hollered at him furiously, and he shrunk back into his seat with a nervous smile.

"All right. All right."

There wasn't anything more to be said. And that's the way it went like always.

When we got to school, I walked out without as much as a 'see you later loser.' And just as I made it to my locker, the cursed bell rang for homeroom.

Spilling out every profanity that I knew I dumped my books in my locker and shut the door to have it bounce back in my face. Feeling very outraged, I slammed it again with every ounce of energy and clasped the padlock in.

The group across me gave me the 'damn-you're-freaky' look, but I just marched through them, hitting my shoulders accidentally against one of the guys and not bothering to look back and apologize.

I didn't need to be nice to anyone today. Not with the weekend I'd just had and the explosions I had to go through. I had the most distinctive and foolproof reason for anything unexpected I did today. Like crash into the guy who thought I was an angel to help heal his broken heart. I just left him there to pick up his massive books and scowled at some girls who narrowed their eyes at me.

When I came into homeroom, I was the last one, but I rushed to my seat and sat glaring at the teacher who looked as uncomfortable as Rika who was beside me.

"Uh...right." He then busied himself with the attendance while the class started to get back its rattle.

"Hey girl." Rika scooted close to me; "You okay?"

"Yeah." Van, who was on my other side, pulled his chair closer, "You look like you just came from some bitch fight. Who smashed you, eh?" He was grinning a little.

Then Eriol turned around, leaning his crossed arms on the edge of my desk, "She's steaming." I guessed he was referring to me. But I had my eyes only on Rika, and I shrugged at her.

"It's nothing." I hoped I sounded neutral. Because there was no way I had even the littlest of energy to spend it on Van or Eriol. But it looked like I didn't even sound near to be believed.

"You sure?" Rika peered at me, and I nodded vehemently.

"Of course." I lied through my teeth; "My brother's just been pissing me off." I tried a little smirk, but I couldn't do it. Poor Touya.

She nodded while Van closed in more, "Hey. Speaking of your brother, did he tell you that I came looking for you on Saturday?"

I turned to him with a clenched jaw, "Yeah. He did." I didn't even want to start with that.

Van just leaned back in his seat obviously pleased with whatever was going under his spiked black hair that covered his potato brains; "I forgot you were at church but he's the man. I mean, he was like going totally crazy over my car."

"Yeah." I muttered at him while ignoring the wide grin from Rika, "He lo-oves cars."

"I think you should check it out then." Rika butted in; "You've never been in it, have you?"

I wept silently and shook my head, "No." If I had anything sharp in my hand right then, I just might have poked her with it.

"Then you should come over sometime." Van's voice was so soft I had to nod and give the fake laugh.

"Oh yeah. Sure. Of course I will." Not in this lifetime though, buddy. And hell, I couldn't imagine Syaoran saying those exact words. Then you should come over sometime. It sounded so snotty and cliché.

I gave myself a mental kick and watched Eriol's lazy smile. He hadn't said anything, but I'd rather have him talk than look at me like that. It was as if he knew that something sneaky was going on. But since there wasn't, he could shove whatever he had on his mind back to where it came from.

When bell rang again, I walked off with Rika.

As I stepped into History, I almost dreaded it. I sat at the back like I always did and kept my eyes trained outside the window until class started.

When Syaoran walked in late, we locked eyes for a second until he looked away snippily.

I didn't know why, but I kept sighing almost after every minute, and the guy next to me gave me a sick grin that I mouthed a cuss to.

Stupid loser.

I didn't stop fidgeting. I was getting irritated and I was getting nowhere with the essay we had been asked to write about the Gestapo. The special force police that Hitler had formed… Dear God. With the way I was writing, I was sure even a little kid could write this better than me.

Biting into the inside of my cheek, I leaned back on my chair, balancing only on the back two legs.

The teacher was as usual writing something somewhere, and the entire class was silent. Since I was right in the last corner, I couldn't see even a single person who didn't have their pens moving.

That's when I looked to the right and saw Syaoran staring.

I tried smiling back, but then he started to point his thumb to the wall next to him.

I guessed I looked confused, so he started to jerk it again. Was he trying to tell me something? He looked a little frustrated himself when I just sat there wondering if he knew that I sucked at charades or not.

But then he was standing up and walking past desks. The students he went by looked up a little and watched him until he stood next to the teacher and started whispering something. She only nodded and handed him a pass.

I hadn't seen him do that before. Usually, he would just march off like he never cared.

And when he walked out of the door, he didn't even turn around to look back at me. So I sat there churning and crackling. I licked my lips once then twice, and pretended my hardest to be looking like I was thinking. I even managed to write a few sentences down, but I leaned back again. What had he been trying to tell me?

I was up on my feet before I knew it, and striding towards the teacher who glanced up uncertainly.

"Yes?"

"Uh..." I made it my best to look hesitant and restless, "Miss...uh…" Not what? "Can I please get a bathroom pass please?" It came out all too fast. I shifted on my feet and growled hearing a guy behind me chortle.

Asshole.

She made an indefinite expression, then scribbled something on a paper and tore it off. Grabbing it, I smiled and excused myself.

Closing the door behind me, I peeked into the hallway but there wasn't a sign of anyone. I couldn't see Syaoran anywhere. Had he duped me? Then looking onto the other side, I found him a few paces away, leaning against a door.

I didn't wave. I just looked back for a moment to see if anybody was watching and sauntered towards him. And when I was close enough, he grabbed my elbow almost painfully and dragged me inside the room he was standing by.

Shaken by his actions, I fumbled back on my own feet and attempted to erase that giddy feeling at the back of my mind. It wasn't what I thought was it?

It was dim, and I stood there for a second making out his outline in front of him. I wasn't nervous. I was happy. I was excited. I was jumping with joy.

"You took your time." Syaoran's voice was low, so I expected that we had to speak in whispers. He then closed the door by the end of his foot, and I swallowed hard while shuddering lightly in the butterflies swinging on my spine.

I gave a grin and looked around. It was the Resource room. The exact place where I'd found him and that other girl making out. I nearly scowled at him, but held myself by sliding up over a tall shelf that seemed strong enough to hold up my weight. We were in a room full of books, and I was already staring to feel ill. My health always got a little deterred around schoolbooks.

When we were staring again, I kicked up my feet with as much of an apology I could muster, "Look. I'm sorry about yesterday. I...I just had to talk to you about...something."

"Yeah? What was it?" He inched forward, and I looked behind him uneasily, trying to sound normal. He had a little playing frown on his face, but I chose to ignore it.

"Ah. Don't worry about it. It-it's nothing really." I tried to hide my gulp the moment his hands suddenly reached out for my knees and stayed flat on my thighs. I felt uncomfortable on that shelf; a whole head tall and right then I had to peep down at him. I surely would have preferred it to be the other way around, but beggars couldn't be choosers, could they?

My spine quivered as if struck by lightening and I found myself leaning onto him. I didn't know what to do. It felt almost as if I needed some sort of permission from him and I couldn't help but smile as the butterflies in my chest soared around. It was definitely exhilarating. Definitely something I wanted right then.

But there wasn't any need for consent, because in that little second he caught me in the wildest kiss without a warning. My lips just stayed stiff, but I learned to loosen them when his tongue darted against mine.

I had been waiting way too long for this. I had missed the feeling and in an urge of happiness, I pulled him against me and hung my legs closely around his waist. I gripped on tighter onto him, pulling back for a second for a heave of breath. But he seemed even more cut off than I was and had my hair tangled in between his fingers while crashing against my lips again and again. Like he wanted me just as bad. Like he had missed kissing me just as bad. Maybe he was making up for yesterday?

It was like something I had never imagined. Sure I had been kissed before, but this felt different. He actually brought goose bumps to my back by only passing his arms over them. Right then, I didn't care if it was summer of winter, but those goose bumps made me feel good.

His own hair smelled sweet and of...passion fruit?

I felt his cold hand at the back of my neck, then slipping across my shoulders in a repeating moment that had me moaning in bliss. I was feeling nothing at the back of my head, just his fingers slipping in and out through the collar of my shirt as if to massage my neck. He could have choked me for all I cared, because it felt so damn good. It felt like my chest might as well rise out of my ribs the moment I pressed against him.

His mouth quickly moved off to my jaw, a hand pulling back my hair behind my ears painfully. His heavy breath followed behind his kisses of nibbling callously on my skin. I turned my face to let him at my earlobe, but it was only a matter of seconds that desperation took the best of me and I fought around to reach his mouth and kiss him myself. My hands grabbed the back of his shirt, tracing patterns on it unknowingly.

It was as if I was indulged in the most beautiful thing that could ever be. It brought my heart racing and doing flips.

His lips smiled as if he knew the torture he was giving me by not responding, yet he gave up soon. His tongue came dancing against the caverns of my mouth and I sat there cradled as I pulled him against me covering whatever gap there was. His teeth painfully nipped at my lower lip seductively and I threw my head back in satisfaction.

But right then a thought hit me and I pushed him back against his chest. Confusion passed over his features as he took in a lungful of breath, but I didn't let him go. His confusion turned into a quick frown as he leaned in and brushed his lips past mine.

"Is this..." I kicked off my heels, then allowed him to shift his legs closer to the shelf, "Is this where you bring every girl you want to make out with? Here?"

I think my question hit him by surprise. His mouth broadened at my words and I shivered as he let out a warm breath against the skin of my neck, "Oh yeah."

I nodded primly.

"You got a problem with that?"

"Maybe a little." I brushed my nose against his, turned my head to a side, then leaned my elbows on his shoulders hoping to sound serious.

He kissed me tentatively as he parted my lips, "Too bad then. There's this dingy shit place or nowhere. And I'd chose this over the goddamn Gestapo back out there." He was saying that between the lines and I managed a quick giggle. History was right at the back of my mind right then and so were the stupid rules for not getting in deep with outcasts. It was some lumpy bull anyway.

"I guess." I murmured in response.

"All right. Now shut up yeah?" His hair tickled my cheeks as he bent down further to peck the side of my mouth in swift movements.

I felt good. I felt like nothing else could get better than this. Thank you God. Thank you so much. That's all I can say because I never expected this to happen today. I really didn't.

And I'm so happy 'cause something good finally happened.

Syaoran Li P.O.V

Don't know what Sakura did, but since yesterday, everything's been going good. Yamazaki hasn't said anything about her and Chiharu's remained out of my way. That girl's too much trouble.

Mother called this morning, and kept asking me if I'd been eating healthy and doing well in my studies or not. I answered her like I always did, with my darned positive attitude.

But that was all asked after she questioned me for the reason she had to bail me out of prison. She knew I have always been a troublesome kid, but I kept out most of the parts. The parts which would cause her to disown me if she ever heard them.

So I just mumbled on saying that I got in a fight with some kids and they reported me. But then she started to ask me their names so she could call their parents.

She wasn't being sarcastic and I wasn't surprised. That's how she always was. And with that death of one of her friends, I doubt she'd even been out of bed. The woman was too paranoid, and I was happy that it never ran in my blood.

Minas got me cornered today at school and she was demanding questions like always. She threatened me again, but I just left her to deal with Meiling alone. I had it figured out that she could handle her better than I ever could.

Hiiragizawa didn't forget for a second to give me the fingers when I went to Chemistry that was opposite his class. Sakura gave me a smile as she followed after him. I didn't smile back. He was looking.

She's a good girl, I guess. A damn good kisser too.

Her hair didn't smell like roses anymore, but that was all right I guess. As long as she never took it off with the wusses she hung out with.

I remember when one of them tacks -Rika something- used to go out with Shiroi years back. She went along with a teacher back then too, but I heard it all stopped the damn day she came to Sanron. The guy was dumped and he's never stopped bitching about her after that. He said he hates her guts. But god, the love of God- that was just Shiroi. No one could do anything to that little wanky rut.

When I got to the apartment, some guys were around, and I figured they were Yamazaki's friends. He came to me when I went for a drink.

"We're gonna take down those shitty rules down off the Bulletin."

"Really?" I didn't wanna sound like a try-hard.

"Yeah man. It's so goddamn dry to have had 'em around. It's about time we started to throw in some shit on them."

I sat down thinking for a while, "How are you gonna get in? The damn school's got alarms."

Yamazaki grinned at that, and then pointed at the guys playing play-station squashed on the couch, "Those guy are gonna be breaking in. And damn, I gotta tell you- they're good."

I looked at them for a second, and then back at Yamazaki, "You're gonna be screwed by this."

"Syaoran. They rock man. They can seriously bust some alarms!"

I didn't know what to say, but I wasn't against it. I shrugged at him, and punched his knuckles as I stood up with my Coke; "Good luck to you then."

"Won't be needing it!" He yelled after me before I locked myself inside my room. It was still a mess, and I wasn't gonna bother cleaning it until after a few weeks, or till I found a way Meiling could do it without me having to pay her.

The dope was still a few days away to come from Yamazaki's contact and I was itching for it. There wasn't any in my room, and it made me feel almost naked.

It gave me some sense of strength. But now, there was nothing. I was desperate for the joy of feeling high. I was desperate to feel it again.

Sakura Kinomoto P.O.V

I wasn't talking to Dad.

That was the deal I had made with myself. I wasn't gonna talk to him until he stopped standing outside my room giving me lectures about how hard it was to meet step-families. Yeah, like he knew a twig about it.

I seriously had no idea what had gotten into him, but whatever it was, I hated it. Cranky pot.

Yes. At that moment, I hated Dad.

He was acting like it was the most normal thing to do. He was even offering to drop me off at the airport and pay for my ticket to Hiroshima! I mean, that had to be the most absurd thing he has ever asked me to do. At that I knew he was definitely possessed.

I even had half my mind made up on calling a shrink and booking an appointment for Dad. As in he had to know where all the boundaries stood.

I didn't want to see Mom for a few months. And I didn't want to see the rest of her 'current' family for a few years. That was how I wanted it, and I wasn't getting it. What else could get sadder between me and Dad?

Had those few drink on Friday night propelled Dad's mind into a psycho's? Had he somehow, finally gotten the courage to call Mom and trap me like a farmer would do to his chickens? And was that what I was? A chicken? Show it to 'em boys. Cluck. Cluck. Cluck.

Maybe what I was a little pissed off about the fact that Touya had managed to stay out of it all. I was envious. His mother was dead and his father was single and not looking.

Dad wasn't re-marrying again. I knew that that much about my lone parent. I wouldn't dare let him, because there was no way I was gonna have any more strength left to handle another mother. One was enough, thank you very much. Two would get me reaching out for my own friggin' throat.

I didn't know what Dad's problem was, but I wasn't letting him have his way. I wasn't going to Hiroshima or even to the next door house if I had to see my stepbrother. If they wanted us to meet so badly, then why couldn't the sod be the one to come here? What was he? A pizza guy who always got his goods nicked off by the dog?

I wasn't gonna waste my time making happy family connections. I've had enough of that already with Mr. Ryusaki and with Mom patting her pregnant belly like it was the only thing she ever did. Yup, that was enough for me.

I didn't want to meet some guy who would be treating me like a kid. In other words, along with one mother, one brother was enough too. One older brother.

Pushing away all scrounging thoughts, I walked into the library to return a few books. From the corner of my eye I noticed Meiling and another girl in the utmost corner of the large area, and I hesitated as I looked away from them.

Had they seen me?

Had anyone else seen me looking at them?

I whipped my head toward the desk, and slid the books through the chute. They were just books that were overdue after having finished my screwed up computer assessment that I failed with flying colors. I didn't know what had gone wrong really. I only noticed a few typos here and there and then a big fat red circle around the wrong graph I had put in. I put in a pie graph instead of a bar graph, and just thinking about it, made my mouth water.

Crunchy steamy pies. That's what I'll be fixing up for myself for dinner tonight. Just to celebrate my failure.

Wow, I could almost feel the taste of it on my tongue that was until some guy came bumping into me and sent my nose flat against his back.

The boy spun around swiftly, almost catching me off-guard and off-balance. Stupid prick. What the hell was with the shirt anyways? Kill the Doorman?

I had to grab onto the desk before he could knock me off...even unintentionally. Then I looked up at his face.

"You!" As a surprise we both muttered darkly and drew away while I straightened myself up at the same time.

He was the boy who sat next to me in my Computer's class. Yes, the one who never talked to me no matter how hard I tried, and for which said reason I had given up on even bothering to smile at him.

"Jesus." I busied myself to rub my nose while passer-bys grinned at us, "What're you made of huh? Iron? Steel? Elephant fat?" I slipped the last book in my hand through the gaping hole, "Which one is it?"

He didn't waste a moment in scowling at me, "Human bones."

I glared back, "That wasn't on my list."

"You can add it in then." He didn't bother to hide a smirk and just brushed past me, knocking past my shoulder like the guy I had hurried past this morning before homeroom. It didn't take me long to realize it was him from before, but I turned around to hiss back at him, "Thanks, but I think I'll skip out on that one. It's kind of really lame."

Nope. I didn't like that guy one bit. He thought he was some super-duper smart-ass who would just not prefer to talk to anyone who got lower grades than him. Unfortunately while I got an F, he got a B.

And to relieve my stress, I just kept assuring myself that the teacher was a sexist moron who couldn't deal with any sympathy towards fellow students that failed to show interest in computers.

After I was done bristling in my own spot and continuing to watch Meiling through the gap between two guys, I hurried back outside before the crowding library group could trod on my sandals and give me blisters like the last time. There had to be at least six groups. Each looking distinct from the stereotypical description of nerds.

I mean, if someone saw me reading one of Hitler's books, what would they call me? A nerd or an activist? I gave myself a mental kick. Obviously, that was another cheesy bitten crust I'd just thought of and I knew I could come up with some better stuff.

Giving Meiling one last glance I took my own pace to the cafeteria. What I needed right then was some food to calm my hungry stomach. Maybe a pie.

In English, I swear I was the topic the guys around me were talking about. The frequency of the noise waves thundering from the 'girl in corner's' stomach. I took longer strides as I flung the door open, and flew right to the line.

I'd show them!

A few of those guys were even in my Chemistry class next period. I would definitely show them.

After getting the stock on my tray by rushing in front of a guy, I shuffled and managed to avoid bumping into a few people. Finally getting to my table, I flopped down urgently, more than ever wanting to stuff that tasty looking burger inside my drooling mouth. Lovely, even if it wasn't a pie.

But it didn't go in. I didn't even manage to hold the damn thing up.

Because right then, I felt everyone staring at me. Everyone that categorized Eriol, Van and some guy whose name I couldn't recall right then.

For a second I looked at each of them, then at the rest of the empty seats, and then back at my aromatic burger, "Uh...hello. Do you guys mind giving my food some space?" Maybe I could pitch in some convo before I could bite in, "Where're everyone else?" I tried to sound as light-hearted as I could. But it was a little unnerving especially with Rika and Tomoyo not present to chew on my patience like Kero would on his expired rag-doll.

Eriol's eyes turned away from me at that, and I began to wonder what it was on my tray that turned him off. The gravy? The peppermint tabs?

"You're not gonna believe what Eriol just did." The not-named guy began as he began to gulp his Coke at an alarming slow rate. I mean, what kind of a dork was he to not lip his own can and drink over his mouth?

I looked at the guy dawdling, and then at Eriol. He was staring hard at me, and I was starting to get disarming thoughts, "What did he do?" I asked after a while my eyes not moving from him.

Van sniggered a little, his untamed laugh putting me off in an instant; "The loser broke it up with his girl."

I think at that moment, half of the blood in my brains drained out. I couldn't feel or hear anything except for Van's toad-laughter. Was he actually human?

"E-excuse me?" I was scrambling out of my seat and standing up, leaning down my arms, and staring back at Eriol who seemed to be grinning right then. I needed to cautiously tread on my words or I might mistake myself into hearing something else.

Eriol pushed back his tray deftly, still holding our stare; "I dumped Tomoyo." His voice was blunt, and he seemed to say it as if it was nothing but stuffed with extra-cushion to go softer on the butt.

I knew what I'd just heard was a crappy lie that my brain had become too dull to understand. I just knew it. I'd gone a bit overboard on the ship of depression, and now all I could hear were lies. That was just it. I was depressed and I was hung on hearing depressing news. That was exactly how it went in that movie I saw a few days back.

But when that smug smile appeared on Eriol's face, I didn't know what to think of anymore.

There was only thing that stood out clearly as ever: my appetite had gone on a hunger strike. I mean, I didn't even notice Van nicking out my awaiting burger.

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