Author's Note – I just thought I'd warn you guys that there's angst up ahead in this chapter. And angst in Syaoran leads towards profanity. Anger. Anger. Just imagine lots of anger fuelling in and out. Red hot steamy anger. Hence the title- blade. Oh and Sakura is a part Christian. Even though religion is not an important factor for her family, she enjoys going to church and finding her own peace in its surroundings. Enjoy this chapter!

Title - Head Over Heels

Author - Shinsei Kokoro

Chapter - 14 - Blade

Beta Reader - Amai Okashi

Updated - 15th January 2005

Syaoran Li P.O.V

I was supposed to be asleep.

Shit, that's one thing I know. I've been listening to Mrs. Happy non-stop and she couldn't get any goddamn worse. What the heck did Mc Donald's have to do with the depletion of the ozone layer anyway? Chemistry just didn't fit into my head and it was always the teacher's fault. Damn right.

And the sore toe was that Mr. Principal had been going on about me raising up my scores or he'll give me a boo-boo by calling back home. The guy's a freakin' loser. What he needs is to watch out for a weight-loss program- Weight Watchers or whatever.

I remember when Meiling had been suggesting going to one. But hell, this guy was desperate for some fat loss around that stomach. I bet his tailor had to get him an extension onto his belt.

Then again, you can't really get away by telling him something like that without three detentions or a suspension in my case.

My probation officer last year had said to watch out for what my mouth said. Really, that was exactly what Mr. Principal said too. I had gone to see him before Homeroom and he didn't seem as pissed as he usually was with me.

Maybe that was only 'cause I wasn't wagging anymore or maybe because I had given up tagging the back yard of the school. Dun which one it was.

Then he looked through his computer about my records, and said that I was low on the rack in every subject.

But it didn't matter. Though I thought the opposite of him, he now expected me to join some kind of study group. Yeah right!

Study group, my ass.

I wasn't that tinkered in the brains to have my knees going around some geeks who didn't know nothing other than diggin' out books.

Mr. Principal didn't need to get his nose to Hong Kong just for that. He could just screw it, and let me off like always.

But this time, I don't think he was ready to take the bait so easy. 'Cause he suggested me to get up with a group that us outcasts had. I knew a few of them, and they were all cracks. They were only a group to get out of classes and smoke pot in the backfield.

Smoking was the past era fellas, that's what they didn't know. Pot was just some crap lying 'round in their backyard. It got you sick too early.

But Mr. Principal didn't have to know that either. I just agreed before he could sign me up on tutoring or something. That was just too random. I wasn't that much of an idiot to get tutored. I remember when I was a kid back in Hong Kong; I used ace the whole damn class. Got beaten up once for that, but it was all good.

The rest of Chemistry, I slept it. Half the period was good enough, and I'm sure even Mrs. Happy was...happy...with me.

During lunch, I got up at some soccer kicks. I had forgotten my cigarette pack, so I nicked four off from Shiroi. My kicks were getting rusty actually. I remember when I used to be the captain in elementary. Man, there wasn't one game we hadn't won.

Then this damn school just messed it all up. But it didn't really matter to me anymore.

While I left to get some coke from the door of the cafeteria, I saw Sakura half-running my way. Okay, I for one was damn shocked. I didn't expect her to just come to me like that in front of everybody, but her face looked like she was just punched.

She was pissed, I could see that. I wondered what had gotten her so ticked off.

But right then, a group passed by me, and all she managed to do was shove through them...and right past me.

The bitch hadn't even seen me.

Sakura Kinomoto P.O.V

I was too angry to bother to apologize as I pushed past people. I was just too ticked off.

It was also goodbye gluttony to my lunch tray.

Eriol had dumped Tomoyo?!

In that fleeting platform, I could have thrown off all of the invented profanity at Eriol right then. I could have lunged at him and gouged his eyeballs out, leaving it to hang out of his sockets. Christ, I swear I wanted to do that.

I wanted to kill him that's what. Kill him!

But I couldn't. I wouldn't, because he deserved something worse than that. In that short moment of breathing heavily, I had managed to ask the guy whose name I didn't know where Tomoyo might be right then. And he laughed, answering that she was crying in the toilets or something. He said it exactly the way his own girlfriend had told him. That was just his added information.

And so after giving all three a last glare, I bolted - half tripping on pushed out legs and half lunging as I threw myself through groups of nuts who thought it was fun to block the damn doorway.

I didn't know what to do right then, but I had to find Tomoyo.

I knew it. I knew I should have told her before about Eriol and me. I just knew it!

You're an idiot Sakura! Look at what you've just done by keeping shut for some asshole.

And if by any chance Eriol had told Tomoyo about me, then I was dead.

I was really dead. I wouldn't even have a funeral if Tomoyo would be the one killing me. No casket. No ceremony. Nothing.

But I'd never meant to bring it all along this way. I'd never meant to allow Eriol get attracted or whatever to me. It was crazy. It was dumb. And it was freakin' frustrating!

I hated Eriol. I hated his goddamned attitude and I hated his stupid flawless face. I hated everything about him. So much that I didn't know what to do with all that hate now.

I was dragging myself into the girls' toilets before I knew it, and I could hear sounds of sniffles from all through the little corridor.

Tomoyo was right there, here face flushed and her eyes blotchy and red. It looked like someone had just squeezed out the smiles from her face. Rika and Naoko were with her, and when they looked at me, we all stood still.

A nearby cubicle just flushed, and a girl came out. She walked out without washing her hands. She didn't even look at us.

Then Tomoyo broke away from Rika's grasp. She came towards me, and my chest rose up to my throat. Eriol had told her. I could see that hate in her eyes. Eriol had definitely told her.

But before I could even dare open my mouth, she threw her arms around me, and broke down heavily.

There was a moment of uncertainty. And over Tomoyo's small shaking shoulders I watched Rika and Naoko advancing.

She was holding me tight; practically digging her nails into my back, and the second I patted her back awkwardly, her hoarse voice came loose and thundered out. The part of the havoc.

"He dumped me!" she screamed into my ears, "He fucking dumped me!" I could feel little drops of tears soaking into my sleeve.

Great.

So Eriol hadn't told her.

Which meant that I would be the one breaking the news. Which meant that I was the chicken leg first in queue to get barbecued once again. Ah. What privilege...

I glanced up at Rika. She'd put her arms around both of us, and I gulped.

No.

I couldn't do it in front of her and Naoko. I would loose whatever dignity my little heart held and I could not afford that to happen.

Uh-uh.

None of us said anything. None of us dared to interrupt Tomoyo's plane of swearing. I didn't know that some of them ever existed...so I presumed that they were invented on the spur.

She wouldn't stop for a breath, and when she did, the waterworks came down harder. It was as if a pipe had just fallen apart, and I was the helpless and pathetic plumber who couldn't do anything without a book to help me out.

Tomoyo and Rika stayed clinging onto me while Naoko stood beside me, her hand on my arm.

How could I not feel guilty? How could I not feel that this was my entire fault?

I knew Tomoyo had the hots for Eriol since the start. I'd even helped her start the whole business about my imaginary boyfriend.

Would Tomoyo suspect that?

Would she think that Eriol dumping her had to do something with me? She had the slightest doubt when Eriol had started flirting with me in the beginning.

However, whatever it was, Tomoyo didn't voice it out right then. I just played my part as the pillar, while she played the miserable maiden.

Okay okay. I felt horrible. I felt like just blurting the whole part about Eriol kissing me in the toilet opposite this and using her only as a worm to catch the fish. And to which, that fish would be me. What an appropriate analogy.

I was ashamed.

I couldn't even look at her. I was probably the worst friend living in Tomoeda, and it was all Eriol Hiiragizawa's fault. Eriol, the stupid prick.

Syaoran Li P.O.V

Shiroi was cracking up. The piece of shit just couldn't stop laughing, and I swear if he wasn't gonna shut up, his jaw would be crumbling into ice.

He stayed behind Meiling the rest of lunch when I threatened him. Pansy, I'm tellin' you.

The jackass had been with me when Sakura had snobbed me. And since he'd been finding out some retarded details about her and me out of Yamazaki, the asshole thought it was funny.

She just walked past me. She hadn't even looked up. I mean even Minas would have looked up and then walked off, but she was a different area of topic.

In History, I came in a little late after getting in a fight with some try-hards. They were going on about how fucked up I was and how my own little reputation was giving them a bad name.

Hell, as far as I knew, there hadn't been nothing in the papers about Boy Convicted for Manhandling and Using Illegal Drugs Goes to Prestigious Sanron High. Prestigious? No shit.

I gave the loser a nosebleed, then spent a few minutes washing my hands. The blood had somehow gotten underneath my nails and it looked disgusting.

And so by the time I came in, the damn teacher was already going on about the Gestapo and their manhandling. We were learning about Hitler's mumbo jumbo this term.

I didn't look at Sakura.

I heard the normal tight-ass comments from the guys sitting in front of me, and I gave them the fingers as tradition went by.

I could see her trying to catch my attention when the guy in-between bent down to write notes, but I pretended like I hadn't seen her.

Hey, no way was I gonna let her off easy. No girl did that to me. Outcast or not, I didn't give a shit about girls who thought they were too good for me.

She then made a few more pathetic attempts to get me to face her, but she was gonna hafta try hard for that to happen.

When bell rang, I was out of the door. A tart tried to trip me with her leg, so I kicked her back...accidentally. I think she was too ashamed to yell out or anything. Which was good for me, of course.

For a moment, when I turned around, I caught Sakura hustling through a few guys to catch my eye, but I turned back and walked out to Physics.

I didn't get any of my books from my locker because she would definitely be there and I wasn't in the mood for anything to do with her.

Lets just say that I wasn't the kind of guy who would go kneeling for some bitch.

Physics was hell same. Something about nuclear reaction here and then some shit about repairing fuses in broken down circuits.

Not my bit of the cookie, so I tried catching a few winks.

"She's damn hot man..." some ass in front of me was murmuring, but I could hear it all. He never shut up about girls. Some sleezeball.

"Yeah..." the one next to him leaned back, "Sweet talker too..."

"I heard she's been up to Van."

I yawned. God. Give these losers a life will ya?

"Yeah. Saw them hookin' up a few weeks back..."

The guy sniggered, and the teacher who was busy explaining glared slightly, "But she's a free girl. And I'm goin' for her. She's some hot stuff too."

"Nah man. You ain't heard it? She's with some guy."

"Hell no."

I grinned. Shot down bastard. That's what you got for tryin' to look clean.

"Yeah. Some college dude. All the way in Tokyo. Yoga or something I heard his name was."

"Tokyo? Shit, that's some city boy."

"You don't say. Heard they've had it all the way. Y'know, from Eriol. He knows his stuff."

I sat up a little bit after hearing that name. Eriol? What the heck did Hiiragizawa had to do with the 'hot stuff' girl? He had his own girl right?

"He's a bad-ass man. Broke it with Tomoyo today."

"I heard. She was like bitching all about it. Crying too."

"Well does she know that he has the hots for her friend?"

The guy in front of me coughed harshly. What friend? "Nah. I don't think so man, or there'd be some cat fight."

"True. But college shit or not, I bet Eriol's gonna be hookin' up with Sakura soon enough."

I don't think I heard anything after that. Fucking hell. I don't think I even wanted too.

Sakura Kinomoto P.O.V

He ignored me. I mean, he totally ignored me! Like, how bitchy was that?

It somehow scared me; the way he scowled at me when he turned around after class. He just walked off. He didn't even look at me once. Cranky doodle.

What had I done now? Why the hell was Syaoran acting like that? It didn't make any sense. We were talking properly just yesterday. What was wrong with him?

And why was it that this day was turning out to be the worst?

Shee-it. Too many questions.

So I raced all the way to my locker hoping to catch him there. I stood there like an idiot for five more long and distressing minutes until the hallway cleared, but he didn't show up.

Depressed, I grabbed my computer manual and slammed the door as hard as I could with my miffed attitude. Then I made a run for it to my computer class.

I wasn't late.

But it didn't make me feel any better.

That smarty jerk sitting beside me even tried making some small talk, but I wasn't helped.

I sat there in my swiveling red cushioned chair; my eyes glued to the penetrating screen. I wasn't typing anything. I was just staring at the glowing white screen. Its brightness made my eyes woozy, then water and there was just one question I could see around me in different fonts and sizes.

Why had Syaoran ignored me?

Had I said something wrong yesterday? Had I insulted him? Or was he just in a typical bad mood. That was something I'd noticed about Syaoran. He was always in a bad mood. When I asked him yesterday, he said it was how he always felt, and he'd laughed after that.

But what about today then? Was it just the same old typical thing? No. I didn't think so.

I shook myself off the trepidation when the guy next to me nudged my arm. I looked at him furiously, "What?" I all but snapped. I was in a terrible mood and I wasn't gonna let someone get away without giving them a piece of my fury.

He just rolled his eyes, "Your eyes are gonna be dead if you keep staring at the screen that close."

I thought about it.

"So?" I bit back -to which I admit- a bit childishly. I couldn't help it. Why was Mr. Smart-Ass talking to Miss Got-an-F all of a sudden?

"So..." he carried away the word on the train-track, "...if you don't want soda-glasses, then watch out. 'Cause you're gonna be getting them soon. And they won't be suiting you."

I shifted in my chair, turned around on the wheel just to face him appropriately, "If I get a number, then I'll get lenses, not glasses. Is that a good enough answer for your quiz?"

He looked beaten at my crappy talkie mouth, and I smirked arrogantly at him. I don't know why, but it felt like I'd finally won an argument with this smarty-pants. I know, cheap thrills, but who cared?

He didn't say anything after that, and I wished I hadn't been so mean. I was only taking out my bad mood on him. And right then, I needed someone to talk to. I didn't care who it was, as long as they talked stupid and pointless.

But it looked like he was out of the list.

When bell rang, I had to rush out of the door and take the Olympic back to my locker...just in case Syaoran would be there early. Y'know, God throws us chances at the most unexpected moment...

But he wasn't there.

I stayed there slumped until some girl asked me to give way and I turned to the wall embarrassed.

Rika and Tomoyo were there like we'd planned and I gave it my largest shot at an attempted smile. I don't think it came out right because Tomoyo bounced on the wall right next to me, leaving Rika in front of us.

"Damn..." she let out a stifled giggle, "...you guys look beat."

Tomoyo pulled off an immediately scowl that had her coughing and clearing her throat.

"Did Eriol say anything?" I asked her instead, and her eyes turned teary for that second. I knew she wouldn't break down in front of everybody but I didn't doubt it either.

"No..." she muttered softly, "I...I don't think he wants me anymore."

Duh.

"Tomoyo." I insisted nevertheless, "I'm telling you. He doesn't know what he's missing out on."

"Yeah." Rika prompted, "Screw him. If he thinks he's too good for you, then he's gone for a dip, if you know what I mean."

Tomoyo's face didn't get any blanker, and I think I had a similar expression on, "No. I don't get what you mean."

Rika looked at us frustrated, "I mean, he's gone for some dope! As in, he's turned retarded. As in his taste has gone down the toilet. As in his shitty attitude finally makes an appearance. As in-,"

"Rika!" I caught hold of her arms before she could go on anymore...and before she could drench us with her spit, "I think she finally gets what you mean." I turned to Tomoyo for assurance; "Don't you?"

"Yeah..." she sighed forlornly, and I exchanged looks with the frowning girl.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to act. I just didn't want to make a fool of myself, because somewhere along the way I knew I would say something wrong. I had the mouth for it.

That was just how I was. With Rika around, that would especially be bad. Because sometime later, I would have to finally blow it in front of Tomoyo. And Tomoyo alone.

I would have to tell her that she'd been used because of me. And that her full-time passion had been crushed into wee pieces because her lover was interested in me instead of her. I just had to find out a way to lay it all out without actually hurting her, and turning every blame towards Eriol.

Because it was his fault.

It was his plan! He was the scheming and conniving little bastard, and he was the one who was supposed to be feeling guilty. Not me! It was supposed to be him over the trapdoors! Not me!

I was just a victim.

But God, then why was it that all this made me feel like one of Eriol's comrades? Like his partner-in-crime.

Even just standing there next to Tomoyo and in front of Rika made me feel like a thief who'd stolen and lost the most important thing. Maybe like one of those life-generating crystals I had read in Touya's comic book that turned into Kero's afternoon snack.

The guilt was swimming inside me, slowly chomping on my bones and my kidneys and my liver and my heart and my intestines and my—

"Tomoyo." Rika's voice made my breath jump, "Forget about him." she was trying her best to be looking cheery, but if Tomoyo's upside down smile wasn't contagious then I didn't know what was. "C'mon girl! We can even try for a revenge attack if you want."

"Revenge?" Tomoyo looked up with a sore eye, "Yeah right."

I'd say. I snorted lightly.

But for a second, it did sound like bliss. Revenge...sweet revenge on the nincompoop. Now wouldn't that be good?

"Then what do you plan to do huh?" Rika all but threw her hands up in the air, "Eriol's acting like nothing ever happened. I even saw him flirting with some girl. Tomoyo, he's over you! And...here you are..." she waved her hands around in spiral before they were pointing at Tomoyo.

"Rika..." she sighed again, "Shut up, will you?"

Way to go Tomoyo. That's me screaming at her mentally. If only she would stop making me feel worse, but that wasn't happening anytime soon was it? Eriol had just used his flimsy plan to trap me.

I wanted to cream that guy and chop him into so many bits that he could never be put back together again.

"Sakura..." Rika nudged at my ribs hissing, "Some help here would be damn good right now..."

All itty bits of Eriol forgotten, I felt like growling at her. But I turned to face Tomoyo despite the fact that I wanted to be anywhere but near that face which Eriol had inflicted upon her.

"Rika's right..." I admitted quietly, "I did see him flirting with that redhead..."

"So?" Tomoyo's response was quick and clenched, "What do you expect me do? Dye my hair now?"

"No!" Rika and I both caught her arms, "No way. Your hair looks fine Tomoyo."

We stood there miserable for a few more minutes, before I figured I was late and Touya would be waiting out in the sun again.

After ditching them with that excuse, I found Touya in the car steaming. Not literally of course or I'd be having a grilled pizza with extra cheese and pepperoni right now.

But then again, I wasn't really in a hurry to get back home. Kero would be chewing one of my boots again. And it wouldn't be long before Dad would be home too. And it definitely wouldn't be long enough before he started to give me the lecture to fly to Hiroshima and see my dear stepbrother.

Oh joy.

Syaoran Li P.O.V

Three days. Just three more days.

I'm not so sure if I could wait for that long.

It'd been nearly more than a week before my last dose, and it was getting me fucked up.

When I asked Yamazaki if he could spare some for me, he said he was trying to give up. The goddamn wuss. I knew it was Shiroi's doing. He and his friggin' nurse mom. The next time I was gonna see him, I was gonna ask him to ditch his catty mother somewhere I would never hear of her.

But I don't think I could hold out any longer. I wanted to feel it in me. I wanted to feel it on my tongue. And I wanted to feel it in my nerves.

So I took the car to Takashi's without another thought and nicked a few drinks off the bar. Some new stuff that tasted like crap.

I didn't really make mates with wannabe club-gangsters, but I knew some of them. Some loaded guys who were always too high to care who they sold their dope to.

Quality really did me in, but I didn't care anymore.

I was damn desperate and I needed some re-fuelling. Ha! Man, I was getting shitty...hard out. But who the hell cared?

No one would know- especially Yamazaki. He'd be pretty pissy if he ever found out that I'd taken my crack from some other guy. But I wasn't gonna give a shit about it.

They got it in my drink...and that was when I started to feel as happy as ever. Damn. It'd been some long time.

Right on Syaoran m'man! One good week. It meant I was holding out.

Shit...

It felt good.

I remember playing a little card game before I finished my drink. Then I met up with this girl. She had green eyes.

But heck, this time it wasn't Sakura. I didn't even want it to be her. This girl was good. Little body 'n all the rest. Short black hair. Long legs and a short skirt.

I sure as hell don't remember one damn thing, but we hooked up nice in my car.

But somehow...there was no...feeling. I don't know what they all call it, but it wasn't there. Maybe it was 'cause I was so bloody wasted that there was nothing to feel.

But I was free. I felt free.

And I loved it. Man, I loved it!

"Roll the window down, will ya?" There was a hiss in my ear, and I looked at the girl who had fallen asleep beside me in the backseat.

Her clothes looked crumpled, and she didn't look as glamorous as before. I didn't bother opening my mouth.

"C'mon man." She all but climbed on my knees, "Quit being an ass. It's getting' hot and I ain't gonna be suffocating."

I grabbed her small waist, and pulled her up on me. She just smiled. It was that Sakura smile, or at least she tried to make it look like it.

I never knew she'd had it going with some college bastard.

Sakura.

Dammit! I hadn't stopped thinking about her. The goddamn bitch. She had never told me about no Yoga or whatever the shit's name was. She hadn't fuckin' told me that she'd been with that Van when we had talked 'bout him.

God.

I was shaking. I was pissed. And I didn't know what to do.

I know it 'cause I could feel it. And the girl in front of me was wincing as I dug my fingers into her hips.

The bloody slut. So she'd been doing three guys at once eh? And Eriol was next on her list...goddamn tramp!

She'd never said anything about any other guy. God! She'd never told me, she'd been doing some other bastard! I couldn't imagine it. I couldn't imagine it of her.

"Fuck!" In a spurt of rage, I slammed open the door and threw the girl I was holding on the sidewalk. She collided headfirst and I sat there raging. She screamed as an effort, but I climbed out myself.

The damn girl didn't cap her shouting so I kicked past her and got to the driver's seat.

My fingers wouldn't stop shaking. And my chest felt hard. Like I'd been punched into the gut.

I was gonna make her regret this. I was gonna make her fuckin' regret she'd been dancing behind my back. Nobody messed with me. Not some darn city girl who thought she could climb back as a slut and play me.

Sakura Kinomoto P.O.V

"Sakura, you've got to try and understand. This is for your own good!" That's my Dad, taking while chewing, "You don't want to make everyone feel bad over this do you?"

"Dad, pass the ketchup will you?" That's Touya, nibbling on his bread.

"As much as I hate to do this to you, I don't want you becoming like me." Dad again.

"Woof woof!" Kero was barking like there was never a tomorrow.

"She obviously loves you, and I don't want you getting cut away from her. It might be an example I'm setting, but I don't want that to happen. You've got to listen to your mother Sakura." Dad had decided not to shut up.

"Woof woof!"

"I want you to keep all relations." Dad continued, "Whether it be Mr Ryusaki's family or whatever. You must not start falling back because of me. Your mother wants you to do this for her, do you hear me?"

"Dad, pass me another bread." Touya again. He sipping his juice with crumbles around his face.

"Woof woof!"

"And you should know that this is not my plan. Nothing of this ever was. I didn't want any of this to happen either. But you should give it a go to make connections. It's the best thing to do Sakura."

Yes, it was true. He hadn't shut up since he'd knocked on my door asking me to come down for dinner. But he wasn't winning either. Because I hadn't said a word to him.

I let him talk. I let Kero bark. I let Touya act like the pig he was during dinner.

I decided it was how it was going to be from now on.

A stupid day at school. Come home to see your dog fill his appetite on a shirt your boyfriend had bought you when you were in elementary. Hear your idiotic brother remind you that you were cooking for through this week for making his wait in the sun. And then last but not least sit through dinner like a zombie while your father went on about sending you for a visit to Hiroshima to visit your stepfamily.

Definitely not the way I liked it, but I guess someone up there hated me enough to do this to me.

In that gap of thinking, my Dad had stopped talking, "Sakura, are you even listening to me?" Peculiar, but Touya had stopped scooping chicken soup and Kero had stopped barking.

I looked up at the silence, then at my untouched plate.

"I'm not hungry." I picked it up before getting up from my chair, and placing it next to Kero's dog bowl. Yes, it was forbidden by my Dad to allow Kero to eat off our plates, but I didn't give a rat's ass about it at that moment.

I didn't wait for a word; instead I walked out and took my own pace up the stairs to my room.

I didn't hear Dad's protests. Or maybe it was because I was immune to all of it in just three days. It didn't even matter to me right then.

I was depressed once again. Maybe a counselor would help? Nah...they would probably stamp me and let me talk on the couch while they snoozed.

I locked my door and hoped Kero wouldn't come bounding and scraping it. Leaping towards my bed, I thrust my face in my pillow and let out a small cry.

I was sick of all this happening to me.

One day, everything would good. Then the following week would be a disaster. One day, I'd be on the clean floor with Syaoran, the next I would be 'brushed off'.

Was this some sort of a bad year for me?

Mom re-marrying and producing a baby. Moving cities. Enrolling into some bizarre school with even more bizarre 'rules'. Falling for some guy who was too far to reach. Then being the grave in some love triangle. Maybe even a quadrilateral.

I tugged at my sheets, then somehow managed to fall asleep without dragging up the covers.

I was exhausted in the least and I wanted to look for some way out of this mess. Maybe even manage to make a blueprint of my misfortune and grab a shovel to start digging my way out.

It was a good sleep, but somewhere I hear the familiar screeches of tires.

Syaoran Li P.O.V

I was seriously loosing it. On the road I nearly caught myself behind old ladies, but I managed to swerve past them and drive over the corner of the curbside. I didn't even get caught.

I wasn't thinking straight. I didn't have my headlights on and the traffic was getting the to me. I scraped past a car. Then another. And another.

I was gonna make her fuckin' cry!

Smack her so hard that she wouldn't be able to get another guy in her entire life to look at her!

I was gonna maker her feel some pain. Make her pretty lil' face bleed until she was begging me for forgiveness. Yes! I was gonna make her cry!

I was gonna drag her out, and let her boys beat me up when she'd come 'round to it. But right now, I wanted her out of my damn head! I wanted her to stop making me crazy!

The street was dark, and her house was just tempting me harder. There were no lights, and I flung open the gates after getting out, letting it crash against the fence.

Running up the steps, I kicked the door and whacked my fist on it.

"Open the fuckin' door Sakura!!" It was all rushing out as I kicked the wood harder and screamed. This sudden claw on my chest appeared. It was squeezing and it hurt like hell, "C'mon down you slut! Open up!!"

It was only in a matter of second that I could hear noises...and a barking. But my adrenaline was pumped. I couldn't feel anything! Damn right. There was nothing I could feel.

"Bitch!!" I didn't stop kicking, "Quit hiding your fuckin' face and get out!!"

I didn't know when the door opened. I didn't feel the anger coming out of me. I pushed across the man in front of me as it opened wider. Then the dog came wiggling out. I kicked it, then slammed the door behind me, before he could grab my jeans.

"Where the hell is she?!" I was looking around in frustration. I dropped something nearby, but I didn't notice anything in that gaudy moment. Everything just seemed to be going by too slow.

The man in front of me frowned as he steadied himself by the wall, "Excuse me, but..."

"Screw your excuse old man, and get that girl down here!" I was trembling. I didn't know why. I didn't know why I was breathing so heavily. I didn't know why I couldn't see properly.

Then there was another voice behind me, and I whirled around to have some guy grab my arm, "Who the hell are you? Shit! Dad! Are you all right?!"

I didn't wait for another second. My lungs seemed to be burning, and I couldn't keep it in any longer.

I lashed out.

My fists were uncontrollable, and I swung them across the guy's face. He stumbled for a moment in surprise before I grabbed the back of his shirt, and armed my elbow against his face. There was a painful crack and I watched the blood fall. I kicked his shins without losing my breath and crashed my knuckles into the guy again and again. He held me off lightly, but I was mad. It just all had to come out.

The old man behind me continued to yell and drag at my shirt. I flung out and shoved him against the wall. I watched his glasses fall and shatter.

But I wanted to see more blood. I wanted to see something broken! I wanted to see her!

Then I heard screams, "Touya!" Maybe it got me distracted for that moment thinking it was Sakura, because there were hands grabbing the back of my arms the second I had my attention astray, and the guy shouldered me across the wall, my nose nudged up hard.

"You bitch!!"

I kicked his knees and felt his grip loosen before smashing against his chest and letting him punch my face. I licked off some hot blood smacking my hand against his ear, but he kicked me down onto the floor. He was on top of me, holding off my attacks, but I had the chance of grabbing the front of his shirt, and jutting my knee into his stomach. He howled as I sprung up and snatched his wrist before he could swing his fist at me.

"Syaoran! What're you doing?!"

That scream. I knew it!

I whirled around to see where she was, my anger making me blind in that thread of moment. I couldn't see anything except that guy's face. It just happened to be in front of my face again.

He caught me in a punch, grabbing my waist as I caught sight of her for the first time. She was standing by the stairs. Her hair all around her shoulders and very close.

"Go upstairs Sakura! Lock your door! C'mon go!" the guy was yelling, but I swung the side of my hand against wherever I could get to him.

"You fucking bitch!!" I stumbled towards her before the guy caught hold of my collar and pulled me back suddenly, letting my hands claw the air "You think you could screw around with me?! Me?!"

"Dad!" the guy holding onto me was shrieking into my ears, and I elbowed his neck and jaw "Call the police!"

Screw it. I wasn't wussed about the goddamn law.

"No!" she was yelling as she sped past in. But she wasn't running upstairs, and I dragged myself forwards. I had to get to her! I had to make her cry!

"Sakura! Get out here you idiot!" Then she was running towards the old man, and I tooled back my elbows again. She was so near.

"Dad! Don't! He's my friend!" she was crying this time, but there wasn't much attention I could give out.

Friend? "You goddamn piece of shit! You think you could play me 'round!?" I knew I wasn't gonna let her get away with this. I wasn't her friend.

"Sakura!! I don't care if he'd your friend! He's bloody drunk!" the guy caught me in a punch as I saw her grabbing the phone out of the old man's hand.

"Damn right I'm drunk!" I was barking exactly like that dog outside, "And I'm gonna fuckin' kill your trampy ass, you bitch!!"

She wasn't saying anything, and her silence got my anger dancing like crazy, "Eh?! Hookin' up with Van! You think I'd never find out?! Your little son a bitch from college!! Do you think I'd fuckin' let you screw me up?! Eh?! And that bastard Hiiragizawa! What have you been doin' with him huh?! C'mon! Tell me you bitch!! It's not your fuckin' secret anymore!"

The phone clenched in her hands fell to the floor while I continued punching the guy behind me. I smirked at her triumphantly, "Surprised that I found out?!"

The old man was beside her, just holding himself up, and I growled defiantly as the guy punched me across the face.

I could taste the blood on my tongue and I swallowed it. I could see her standing there frozen. I grabbed the guy's arm and hammered him against the wall. I heard her scream again. He punched me. I let my knuckles dive into his shoulders.

Then I stumbled towards her.

"You're a darn slut girl! That's what you are!" I grinned at her, as the old man beside her grabbed her shoulders and thrust her behind him, "A fucking whore!"

The guy was back for another hold up, but I shrugged him off.

She was crying so hard.

But when he came for another go, I grabbed his sleeves and kneed him across his stomach twice.

He didn't come back up again as quicker as the last time, so I grabbed open the door handle and managed to kick that dog who came pouncing in with the sudden wind.

I'd made her cry.

God, that's all I wanted to do. That was just all of it. I slammed back the gate in the dog's face and he pulled back whining pathetically.

I would have smacked her, but that guy hadn't even let me near her, whoever the bastard was. I would have made her suffer more than just that, but there was no energy left all of a sudden.

I didn't look up at the two people who had gathered up on the other side of the fence. I made a grab for the hoodie, and slammed the accelerator out of the street.

My chest remained hard and I felt tired for some reason. So damn tired.

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A/N – And so the many conflicts start…mwahahaha! oO But don't you just love an angry Syaoran?