Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters mentioned, they are property of Seven. I'm just playing with them for a bit.
-Saving Grace is a series of one shots that follow on from one another, depicting the lives of Matilda Hunter and Lucas Holden.
Full Summary: Matilda Hunter is forced to live a life she hates. And loves. Stuck between life and death, she hovers, waiting for someone to come and save her. Waiting for that one moment that will change her life. Lucas Holden has been forgotten for most of his life... for alcohol, for the endless stream of men his mother would bring home. He's told he's special, but he refuses to believe them. What will happen when serendipity takes hold of their lives, and a series of random events lead to one ultimate mistake?
Rated M for drug & alcohol abuse, sexual situations and suicidal thoughts. You have been warned. Do not read further if you are uncomfortable with these things.
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Saving Grace
Chapter Ten: Seasons Change
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Seasons change
They change when you don't seem to notice
All of a sudden, wind grows cold
And then the snowflakes start to fall
It's kinda like when I fell in love with you
I, I didn't even notice when you didn't love me anymore
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As my eyes opened slowly, I felt a weight across my belly pinning me down. Moving my head slowly around, I came face to face with a peaceful Luke, basking, sleeping, in the morning sun. My gut reaction was shock, followed quickly by fear then confusion. Why was he still here? They were never here the morning after. I was supposed to wake up alone… unloved. I was supposed to remember my pain and remember why I kept putting myself through the endless torture.
I was supposed to hate myself even more.
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There's a blue, there's a blue sky on my left and a pink sky on my right
And I'm driving down the 92 where the bridge looks like it touches the sky
And I'm thinking to myself
Where did all the time go
And why can't I remember
What it was like when I was young
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And I couldn't do that with Luke, not when he was always there to pick me up when I fell down. Not when he was there ready to take my hand and lead me though the dark to the tiny shimmer of light that lay ahead of me. There wasn't supposed to be someone by my side, someone who claimed to understand me, claimed to love me. I wasn't supposed to get one of those fairy tale endings.
I wasn't supposed to be happy.
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Seasons change
And you grow a little older
Nothing stays the same
The past becomes the future
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Moving myself from under his arm, he rolled gently onto his stomach, and stirred a little, before settling back down into a dreamless sleep.
Padding quietly across the floor, I reached the window and crawled onto the sill, looking out towards the now overcast morning. Curling my legs up underneath me in a bid to keep warm, moments, memories, from the previous night plagued my thoughts.
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Seasons change
And you grow a little older
No one stays the same
And my heart grows a little colder
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Of Luke's hands on my skin, under my shirt, under my skirt… of the amazing pleasure, the sensations his body against mine caused, of the amazing feeling of knowing I was right… but at the same time knowing how wrong I really was… because deep down I knew that he saw more than the sex symbol and toy I believed myself to be. Because when I looked in his eyes I saw them look deeper than image, look deeper than status… I saw them look into my soul and see who I really was.
After hiding myself away from people for years, I really wasn't sure I wanted my life to be anything different.
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I'm standing in a parking lot
Of some suburban shopping mall
And I'm dressed in my work uniform making friends with all
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Light droplets of rain began to splatter against the cold windowpane, as I leant my forehead around it. In the reflection I saw Luke pull the covers closer around him, obviously missing the body heat I'd provided for him. Watching as the rain created a hazy mist outside, I sighed, thinking about how I was reminded of all the pain and suffering in my life, and how it always managed to rain on those days.
Oh how I hated rain.
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The vacant cars
And I'm thinking to myself
I gotta make a big decision today and I hope I choose a better tomorrow
Rather then a better yesterday
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When my Dad left, it had poured for days. When my Mum had hit me for the first time, I'd been crying during a thunderstorm. She'd been drunk, and wasn't in a mood to deal with her terrified seven-year-old. A storm had cut the lights the night he first came… when he came and stood in my doorway and watched me as I pretended to sleep, his breathing become heavier until she finally called him to her.
When I first arrived at this prison hell, it was pouring down buckets, and I remember watching out the limo window, wishing that I could be soaked up by the rain, because then I wouldn't feel so alone any more.
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Seasons change
And you grow a little older
Nothing stays the same
The past becomes the future
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When their voices first rang out, thick with hatred, jealously, with fear, the rain could be heard pelting against the cold windows of the long hallway, which became my walk of shame. When their first taunts began, and a lonely thirteen year old found solace in the silver blade, that with one swift movement could make her forget, yet force her to remember… the rain melted once with the droplets of blood as she cried to the heavens, asking for her life to be over.
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Seasons change
And you grow a little older
No one stays the same
And my heart grows a little warmer
My heart turns a little warmer
Everything turns it turns it turns it turns
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That's why I hate the rain. Because of the quiet it brings. Because when everything is quiet, it all comes crashing down on me. And I remember once more. The sins that haunt my existence. The memories that have made me who I am.
Tainted. Sinful.
Alone.
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Seasons change
And you grow a little wiser
Nothing stays the same
The past becomes the future
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Sighing, I reached out and ran my hand slowly down the pane, wishing the cold to envelope me once more. Because all these feelings that were emerging, and attempting to overtake the darkness that had overwhelmed my soul for so long.
Looking towards the angel that had pulled me from my grave, I sighed, knowing instantly what had to be done.
Knowing instantly, what had to be broken.
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Seasons change
Only the cherry blossoms they bloom again
They will bloom, they will bloom
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AN: There is more. Thanks to Kate for proofing these so quickly for me. You're a legend hun!