Title: Head Over Heels

Author: Shinsei Kokoro

Chapter: 18: Sick and Tired

Updated: 24th October 2005

Syaoran Li P.O.V

My third cigarette had come and gone. And so had my shirt.

Minas was beside me, nipping my face, arms around my shoulders, and her goddamn nails leaving their drags as she grabbed the back of my hair to get back my wandering attention.

My eyes were still glued to the TV, so I didn't bother giving her any more satisfaction than she already had. I wasn't watching the love scene on it. That was just for a little distraction. For now, I had had enough of being stripped apart and being treated like a rag doll immune to raking fake nails.

I didn't know what had gotten into her, but she hadn't left the damn couch since the past hour. It was honestly sweatin' me off. Whatever the hell had happened to her nature's call? And noses needing powdering? Didn't she at least have to go check if her eye liner was smudged or not? Fuck, anything to get her off me. Or at least her hands. Kissing was alright. But she had been sitting on me for almost two hours, and damn she wasn't light.

So yes, I was blanking her. Yes, I wasn't watching the re-runs of some screwed-up corny show. And yes, I was trying not to let another thought enter my head. I just wanted some fun. Not her tongue running down my cheek. Dang, not that kind of fun where she'd strip and try to get me in bed. Not really my style of having fun.

Hell, I'd say fun would be dunking down a few beers. Beating up some asshole. Or even pissing out together at the beach or something, where we all get drunk and stone down a few cars on the highway. I don't think we've done anything close to that for a few months now.

But fuck, what was wrong with me? When the hell had I ever been so…so thoughtful? When had I ever regretted having Minas over and letting her practice one of her booty dances. Not that it was any shittier than the real ones I've seen. But man, I've never really given a damn about being bored. And now, it's kinda just dragging on. I dunno. Maybe I'm going mental?

"Syaoran…" she was purring, "Hey…" her lips never left mine.

Yeah. That was her way of getting attention. As for me, I kept my mouth closed. That was my way of getting her to back off.

But before I could make another move she had already slammed her fists into my shoulder, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

I let her slip off me and back on the couch. Still yelling, "God! I've been here for so fucking long and you fucking do nothing! Do you think I come here just to waste my goddamn time? I have to like bloody sneak out just to get here, and you act like you're fucking wasted!"

Like damn. She got no response from me.

I didn't even look at her.

I knew I didn't wanna.

She was one sad bitch. That's all I knew about her. Sakura, I mean. All I knew right now was that she was a sad ass whore and she couldn't make me deny that. Not now. But isn't it fucking great? Everything I think of just has to bloody remind me of her.

"Syaoran!" With another fist coming against my shoulder, I merely glanced at the girl next to me.

I used to want her like crazy. Ever since the day she came over to my place and we made out in Yamazaki's room. Every time she would shake a little before kissing me. I used to like that. But now? Now I hated her so much that it was impossible to even stop thinking about her. I didn't even know what I fucking wanted anymore. That day when she had screamed at me when I was at the admin, shit I could have given her a hiding. Honestly. It wasn't already enough that I had everyone from the Board of Trustees on my pissin' back, but the first fuck shit I had to see had to be her. Just sitting there and smiling at some little brat. And I had had no idea that I had it in me to just walk past her. To give her the fuckin' hand. Damn, it felt good. Yeah it did, just until she came running after me swearing at the top of her lungs. Man, that had been embarrassing.

"Syaoran! You bastard!"

"What!" My thoughts came loose the second I felt a tug to my hair, and I pulled away from the bitch beside me. Couldn't I ever have some goddamn peace and quite in my own house!

"Where is you fucking head?" Minas wasn't looking too happy. "You've been like ignoring me for way too long. Just tell me what your crap is and we can finish this off."

And for that matter, I wasn't feeling too happy either. I was ignoring every little shit that was pilling up in my fucked up dump of a life. I was giving the fingers to Meiling and the rest of my roommates. My satan of a father was dead. The only top-up. Mother had called again, complaining that his will had suddenly disappeared and that his lawyer was currently in a delusional crisis. I hadn't been high since last week. I was too bloody lazy to go out and get any cigs. And for the first time in my life, I had had some chic cheat on me before I did. Not really the best loop of my life.

I couldn't fuckin' stop thinking about her. I had tried every damn thing. She had been away the whole of last week, and Meiling wouldn't stop asking me if I had done something to make her pack her bags.

But she couldn't have, could she? She wouldn't have given a shit and listened to what I'd said the night I'd raided her house, right? It's not that I cared or anything. As much as I had meant it when I had asked her to get her ass back to where she came from, it didn't make me feel any better.

Oh fuck, I think I'm honestly loosing my mind. It feels like a damned cricket bat smacking my head every bloody second. Or jeez, maybe it's just Minas whacking me with her handbag. Okay. Ouch! Fuckin' hell…

Sakura Kinomoto P.O.V

Everything from the corner of the sky to the corner of my room is a dingy little microspace where not a minute amount of happiness can survive. For me that is. It's a Sunday and I just came back from church. Dad had specifically asked me to go and confess. And I immediately presumed what exactly I'd have to be pleading guilty of. Ever since that thing with Syaoran, him and Touya have sorta distanced themselves from me. I'm not really sure if it's just me or not, but it feels as if the closeness we used to have has kinda disappeared. Poof! Just like that.

But confessing? Oh god. It was probably the most embarrassing thing I've ever done.

I'm a volunteer worker. I help with the normal cleaning and giving a hand where needed. Tomoeda's church isn't really big on the cash so it's a normal church with the normal chippings. I go there every Sunday, clear up the windows, the steps, the gate to the cemetery, light a candle and then leave. Honestly, that was all I ever did.

Except for today.

I made my first confession today.

Typically, the Father was behind the wooden covering separating us, and for the first few second I pretended to be relaxed. He asked me a couple of questions, and I blabbered on like an idiot. At one point, I broke down crying and the tears wouldn't stop coming. And for some reason, this was the moment where I felt the most connected to God. Like as though he were giving me a counseling session. What the Father said just brought out this second conscience living in me.

"Do you truly believe there is a Lord?"

"Yes."

"Do you believe that he watches over you?"

"Yes."

"Do you know that he loves you no matter what you have done, sin or not?"

"Yes."

"Then you must know, that no matter who deserts you, he will always be there in you. Giving you strength. You only have to use that strength. You have to make yourself powerful against these sins."

It was great actually. I just prattled on and he listened. I told him everything from the start. How I met Syaoran. How I became crazy over him. About Mom's new life. About Dad's depression. And now, about my depression. About my stupidity. My own foolishness.

And he listened. He listened to an idiotic teenager's idiotic ramblings.

Maybe that was what got this whole heaviness off my chest, because now I feel lighter. I feel like it's the past or something.

After thanking him a countless times and a quick goodbye, I hesitated to light another candle before leaving. It was the first time I had ever hesitated. I wished that somehow everything would be back to normal. I wished that I would be back to normal.

Maybe my trip was another thing that took this heaviness off me. This load that reeked with anger and pain. When Dad had given up taking up no for an answer and Touya hadn't bothered siding with me, I had finally taken the trip to Hiroshima last week. Thus my big absence from home and school.

Mom was genuinely thrilled to see me, although I couldn't say the same about my stepbrother. The moment I'd stepped into the house, this guy about my agewas stepping out of the house with a duffel bag and his guitar. And before I'd known it, he was getting off the driveway in his own beaten up Toyota. At that point, I knew who he was at once. Keisuke Ryusaki. He hadn't even looked at me, the stupid ass. Like I was expecting to make a conversation with him anytime soon. However, if not for that attitude, he had appeared to be any pleasant looking hard-core music freak. Minus the long hair and the grungy look. He looked like a second biological copy of his father. But much taller I guess…and way younger. As far as the genetic characteristics in the Ryusaki family go that is, he has his hair, not to be rude or anything.

But rest assured, I didn't make myself look bothered at that. He could go become a highway hitch or sing in the streets for all I cared. This just meant that I wouldn't have to be making any step-brother to step-sister chats with him. All the more good for me.

So although I didn't mind, Mom and Mr Ryusaki took this as their fault and constantly made it their duty to apologize non-stop. By the time dinner came, I had finally been give the peep that while Dad had wanted me to come here so I could forget the mishap at Tomoeda, Mom had wanted me here so I could get to know my new step-brother. Well oh dear, so much for that wonderful reunion eh.

But Hiroshima did help me get away a bit. Not completely, but it did stop me from constantly thinking about Syaoran. For a night there, when I'd just ended up crying in bed, Mom had come to my rescue. She had settled herself beside me, checking my forehead for a temperature, asking me if I had period cramps and even bringing out an extra comforter, just to make sure I wasn't feeling cold. My step-brother's comforter. I shudder at the thought of it.

She had been so sweet to me, but no matter what she would do, I could never tell her the reason I cried every night. A little pathetic I know, but screw it. My tears. My goddamn life.

So I had to miserably admit that it was only period cramps, only so she would stop fussing over me, especially when she was pregnant like that. But no, instead of leaving me to succumb and cry to myself, she made me try out each and every homemade painkiller that she knew how to make. It wasn't that awful. Not at all. But the moment she made me sip onto something gingery, I threw up. Ginger has to be the only thing that has to come back up.

Coming back to Tomoeda was paradise. I guess this just tells me how far apart I've grown from Mom in these years. I used to miss her like crazy when I was little, but then watching Dad cook every morning and having him read out the front of the newspaper while watching animes on Saturdays, they were just so reassuring to let me know that I was more than happy with only him. Touya had picked me up from the airport asking the usual annoying questions, like if I had puked on the plane or not. Stepping into the house Dad couldn't wait to know all about Hiroshima, and Kero, bless him not, had taken his best lunge on me. That mutt had gone a tad bit skinnier over the week, so the first thing I did was lecture Touya about the regular eating habits of our family dog.

Yes. It was honestly good to be back home. Although it had only been a few months, I was already slotting in my life here at Tomoeda. I had friends. I had a wacky school. An exboyfriend already. I had a job involving no money. I was hacking off my grades in Maths, and gee what else?

See? I was now an official chunk of this bloody town. Amen to that.

Running up the stairs to the room I had abandoned for a week, I took a giant dive at my bed and let my aching back snuggle into a comforter that didn't belong to a stranger.

Ahh! Bliss. Pure, untainted, decriminalized ecstasy.

"Oi!" Bloody hell. Now I knew the true meaning of short-lived happiness.

Pulling down my duvet, I peered at Touya's healed and narcissistic face through the curtain of my hair. His head was poking in through the gap between my door, "Alright! If you really have to know, I puked into my chicken soup and offered it to the lady next to me. Happy now?" Not that it had really happened, but he knew that without fail on any plane, if I wouldn't be puking, the whole world would be coming to an end.

Raising his brows, he frowned with a playing grin on his face. Then opening the door wider he threw the cordless on the bed, "It's Tomoyo. And I hope she heard that."

Shrieking, I made a grab for the phone and slammed the door with my pillow both at once. Unfortunately, he had escaped before my lethal weapon had made any contact. Damn. Next time, he'll be getting thwacked right in the nose.

"Tomoyo!" I laughed into the handset, falling back flat in my duvet.

"Hey girl! How you been?"

"Wonderful." For some reason, it was good to hear her voice again. All energetic and crackling with live sparks.

"Any hot guys at Hiroshima?"

"Other than my perverted neighbours I'm not quite sure." I grinned at the thought. "I didn't really do any sightseeing." What with Mom's strange remedies and all. God, just thinking about that gooey ginger made my stomach lurch.

Talking to her for more than half an hour, she let me in on the things I had missed in the week. Then at the end, with a pleading voice she asked me to come shopping.

"Err, not quite sure I can make it sorry. I'm sorta beat."

"Oh come on please! No one's coming with me. And there's this 20 sale at Pagani's. Mom's letting me have the car for today too! Please Sakura! I need to shop!"

She sounded quite melodramatic and I laughed at her furious attempts while scanning over my wardrobe at the same time. Not that I was in the desperate need for anything specific but everything I owned suddenly looked very casual and old. Mumbling a yes, I let her squeal and make the arrangements before turning the phone off, and dumping it under my bed.

My ceiling looked the same as I had left it and everything in my room look untouched. Pulling up the duvet to my chin, I let the silence lull me in softly.

I wanted a change. Somehow, that was the first thing that came into my mind the moment my mind wandered off to Syaoran. I wanted a definite change that would get me out of this dreary mood that I always seemed to be in. Back in Hiroshima, on my last night in a stranger's bed I had made my pre-Christmas resolutions. The ones I vowed to keep.

No more crying.

No more negative wondering.

And no more thinking about Syaoran.

Okay, so maybe the first two are unreasonable, but the third one is a screw to my heart. No more crying over him. No more thinking about him. No more Syaoran Li for me.

I knew it would take a while for that, but it was about time I stopped leading myself on over stupid fantasies that didn't exist. It was possibly impossible, but I knew I could do better.

Now I knew the real deal. I never just liked Syaoran, I lusted him. Yeah, I figured lots of people get confused between the two, but this time for sure, I knew it.

Never in my life have I ever kissed anyone who did drugs. Hell, I've never even met anyone who did drugs until he came along. Maybe it was just stupid hormones that urged me on to try out something new. Something fresh and bad like Syaoran. He brought out the true meaning in the word thrill. But that's it. It's over now. And I want to get it over with and forget about whatever that had happened between me and him. Just like he probably has.

I don't want to think about him every time I sit in History. I don't want to feel that wrench whenever I pass the Resource room. And most importantly, I don't want to start crying every time I see the scar above Touya's jaw. These are all something I have to absolutely put behind me. Something I have to forget, because I've had enough of this nonsense.

Like the Father had said this morning, it was up to me to make myself powerful against the sins I had brought upon myself. Syaoran was nothing important to me before myself. He was an asshole and probably like many, this was his way of getting through girls. Maybe he hasn't realized his sins, but I know what I have to do now.

I have to forget him because I deserve someone better. I deserve someone who cares about me, who won't leave my name wandering at the back of his head. Who won't ever do the things Syaoran has done to me. He's not the only bad fish in the sea, I know that now. But maybe if I try harder, I can get my hook to grab me a better fish.

Someone who would know me inside and out.

Syaoran Li P.O.V

Can't say I didn't warn myself, but damn, like I gave a shit. Mother dearest called this morning. Fuck, like bloody three in the pissin' morning. She said she couldn't sleep, so she had decided to check up on her good ol' little boy and interrogate him about his bank account. I told her the same thing I always told her. Needed the money for school, the little emergencies here and there, and then of course, I took on the next rung on the ladder. Told her I was taking tuitions for the exams coming up in a few months.

Heh, just like a charm, she clucked goodnight and hung up on me. That neat little trick worked just about every time. I was gonna ask her about that stuff on Father's will, but screw it. Who needs his shit, when I've got my own?

But then at about five, I was up again. I ran to the bathroom, kicked up the toilet plate, and hurled out everything in my fucked up stomach. Hell man, there's always blood. Catching my breath, I sat myself down just incase for anymore bowl actions, my eyes catching onto the bloody drops that trailed down into the shaft. This thing had really started to skewer up my sleeping timetable. No matter what, I just couldn't get the hell back to sleep after a puke of that sort.

So I'm sitting in the bloody bathroom with my eyes trying to catch up on a few winks when Meiling comes in.

Fuck man. She sometimes gets the wackiest expressions on her face. Her eyebrows shoot up. Her eyes widen. Her nose flares. And she puckers up her lips like a fish. It's just too hard not to laugh.

But back to the situation, there I was in front of the toilet, with puke and blood in it and my cousin going all fish-style at the door.

"Syaoran!"

And that's all I kept hearing the entire night before I threw myself back in bed. It was a surprise how no one else woke up with that scream, but I had to hand it to her. With all that knocking and talking she did outside my door, I fell asleep almost immediately. Maybe if she didn't get a job after school, she could always apply as a babysitter or something. She'd put all the kids to sleep only with the bloody screaming.

Man, I knew it. Having a jabbering cousin stay around me had always been for a good cause.

But it was the next morning that the headache hit. I couldn't stay home 'cause of the shit the Principal had put me in, so I had to crawl my ass out of bed and jump into the shower before Yamazaki. It did me a little good, but driving was pretty much the same when I'm drunk. Meiling had to force me to pull over and switch seats, and it was nuts watching her speed and put her hands all over my baby car. I'd have to wash it again next weekend.

We reached school still in one piece with my head clearing out a little. She kept me tight by her side, saying stuff that we had to talk and all the usual bullshit, but I ditched her with Shiroi when her back was turned to me. Because honest to god, when Meiling ever got into that talking mood, it was like a bleeding revolution. She even gets to the point of chewing on me to get what she wants. Stupid bitch. The thing she never forgets to do is stay outta my business.

So instead I was stuck with Shiroi who above everything loved to talk about how far he's been with girls. He's never far off from boasting, but I listened about his new conquest anyway. He had apparently gotten it on with some lady he'd found at some random club. She had been the usual A-type with long legs, big rack and the firm butt, but after finding out that she was twice his age, he had switched onto the next best A-type.

"Honestly man, I thinking you're loosing it."

Shiroi didn't avoid giving me his cranky smirk, "Yeah? And what about that drama you pulled out when you found out Minas had fucked you up?"

I gave him a withering look that made his grin wider, "You're not of that age yet son."

"Fuck, you ain't got the balls to admit you were ashamed."

Grabbing onto the back of his shirt, I gave him a friendly shove, "And when did this ever get to my shaming shit from your flaming peaks?"

He gave a nonchalant shrug, "Man, I'm telling you. This just goes to show that sometimes older girls are better to be taken on the leash. They've got experience and don't hassle us too much. Y'know, it's like they don't expect anything from it at all. They give and we get."

"Now I think you're desperate."

"Desperate my ass. Just 'cause you got the Queen of the bitches to screw you anytime you want, it don't mean I want one breathing fire down my collar. Tell me man, have you ever seen her smile?"

Taking our usual route down the hallway, it was kinda funny to see these people give us way to walk by like usual. But hell, we both knew it was just 'cause touching us would give them rabies. I gave Shiroi a grin over my shoulders while he went on checking out some juniors, "Man, if you want Minas, you can just take her. You don't even have to ask. It's a free offer."

The guy shuddered at the thought, "Hell no man. You seen the size of her brother? He's like ten fuckin' elephants put together into a ball. I'll fucking never see a tomorrow if he ever sits on me."

Yeah. Who could ever forget that piece of meat? All I knew was that guy hated my guts so much that they stunk. It's like all he loved showing me were his fists. If I had a gun, I would gladly shoot him down his throat.

"Whoa! Look at that!" Shiroi gave me a sudden punch into my back, breaking me out of my little revenge plan, "When was the last time we had a skank parade?"

Rolling my eyes at him, I looked on to see what he was ogling so bad at. There was this group of girls walking across the quad. I recognized a few of them, but when I did a quick double take, I could also make out Sakura in that group. I dunno why, but for a second I almost hadn't seen her. For a second I hadn't seen that flounce of wavy hair. But when I looked harder, she looked like one of the usual wannabe whores with what she was wearing. I've never seen her in anything that gave any sort of cleavage, and now she was wearing this?

"Not even. You know I've seen better." And without waiting for him, I pushed through the typical morning crowd. My homeroom was all the way on the other side, but Shiroi could keep standing there for all I cared. I was through with checking out bitches.

But unfortunately for me, Shiroi was back beside me, "Dayum! Did you see those girls? Now they were nice. Why can't we ever get a taste of those chicks?"

"They're fuckin' nasty."

"Shit bro, you gotta be off girls to tell me that. Did you see that one with the white top? Wasn't she the same one you've been trying out on? Hell I'd be doing her all day if I were you."

He meant Sakura. For some goddamn reason, as much as I don't talk about which girl I got or not, this bastard would find out everything by the end of the day. It's like he bloody stalks me. "You mad? I don't go for whores like you man."

"Ass!" he chuckled at me, "You're with one yourself. But fuck man, I think she's hot. You know her name right?"

I didn't say anything for a second. Do her? I'd gotten her to bed once, but I didn't remember screwing her. "Nah. But I reckon Meiling should know. She keeps her records."

Sighing, Shiroi hurried as I took up speed. I suddenly didn't wanna look at his face anymore, "Forget it then. Last time I asked her about someone, she went on this shit for hours! That girl's always got something up that ass."

Score. "Tell me 'bout it."

I didn't feel sorry for him. I wasn't even listening to him. For fuck's sake, the first bitch I had to see today had to be her. And then suddenly it clicked to me. She hadn't gone back to Tokyo or whatever. She was still here. She was still going to be around. This meant that I was going to be seeing more of her once again.

Damn, this was just bloody great. Now I would get to see that whore prancing around in her little skirt and flashing whatever guy she saw. If it wasn't for this damn school, I'd be asleep in my bed somewhere and not having Shiroi listing off how hot his Tourism teacher was.

I knew it was gonna be one of those days. Those dreary ass days, where I'd be falling asleep in classes. But there was more to this. What happened next, I sure as hell wasn't prepared for it.

Sakura was suddenly in front of me out of nowhere. She wasn't turned to me and her eyes were surely nowhere on me, but in that skirt I could tell her out from anywhere. There was some guy holding her arm and then out of nowhere they were making out like mad. Just two steps away from me. One hand in her hair. One hand on her chest. And his mouth all over hers.

Fuck.

Fuck.

That whore.

Sakura Kinomoto P.O.V

It had to be done.

I know this goes against all my pre-unwritten values and rules on self-respect and virtue, but screw that for now. God I know you love me and you that I love you too, but you should know that what I did right now wasn't another sin. It was something I pulled out from courage. I mean, if I didn't have any bloody strength right at that moment, I might not have done what I had done.

I was wearing what I had brought from shopping with Tomoyo yesterday, feeling totally exposed. The moment I stepped out of her car, I could feel eyes on me. I mean who the hell wouldn't when you're in a flipping boob tube and a tiny skirt that barely covers your thighs. Looking at Tomoyo in her jeans skirt, I wondered if she ever felt like how I did. But I wasn't going to complain, since she had gotten her driver to pick me up on the way so we could get to school together and make an entrance. Not that I liked anything about this attention seeking thing, but I guess Tomoyo was doing her stuff on impressing Eriol.

So I'm walking, my nerves shaking in case my boob tube slides off and my boots feeling not too comfortable. Tomoyo's talking, not knowing that my ears weren't working as well at that particular moment. And then I see Van.

Oh God.

He was checking me out. I could tell. I could so tell. He was smiling in that weird way. In the same way many other guys around him were doing. It was definitely creepy, and now all I wanted was a blanket to cover me up. I was suddenly thinking back to why I'd let Tomoyo urge me into buying this damn thing. Peer pressure, I'm telling you. That's what it is.

"Lookin' hot." Those were Van's first words, the same moment Tomoyo flew into Eriol's arms. I think it's because he has never seen me in minis that ride up every time I take a step. Eriol looked sort of curious. Then he gave me that off-hand smile of his and a, "Lookin' good as always." I let Tomoyo babble on about how it took me ages to buy a couple of tops and skirts, and how I'm so colour co-coordinated and all that crap. Yeah, I'm like that, but so what?

I was in the middle of a mental debate with my inner Sakura for not bringing a jacket when I caught a familiar glimpse. He made my spine run cold and the back of my neck prickly.

With nerves racing, I looked away quickly and expectantly looked at Van, forcing my mind to listen to the words that was coming out of his mouth. But I couldn't stand it. My heart was swelling, and I could feel my stomach racing butterflies.

"Van. Can we please talk?" I suddenly blurted out. There was silence as eyes looked at me. Then grabbing the sleeve of the boy next to me, I dragged him away, "In private sorry."

I let so of his shirt, but I didn't stop walking. Right then, my head was so muddled I couldn't even see straight. I didn't know what to do.

"Sakura?" Van's voice cradled my anxiousness, "Is everything alright?"

We were almost there. Just a few more steps. "Um…no." As dumb as that sounded, that's exactly what I said, "There's something…um…you should know." I couldn't look at him. I knew I would back away if I did. But Van just kept beside nonetheless.

"What is it?"

I stopped in a crowded hallway, loud voices suddenly drowning my unstable thoughts, "Um…I…" I looked behind me to see a group of bimbos. Where was he?

"Yeah?"

"Um…you…" To my right, there were juniors arguing over some cards.

"Spill it."

The bimbos behind me moved away, and that's when I saw him. Whirling around, I looked Van straight in the eyes for the first time since I had dragged him away, and I noticed he was looking as confused as hell. It was now or never. "I like you."

Grabbing my wits and the front of Van's shirt, I did the most unexpected thing I would never even dream of doing. I kissed him. I don't know for how long but it felt like forever. When I backed away slowly and unprepared, he had this fazed expression on his face, and my heart shivered wildly. He hadn't responded.

I had to force myself from not turning back into the crowd. Suddenly, this looked like another big mistake made by Sakura Kinomoto and her under-graduate brain. I could feel my face heating at the attention I had gathered, and when I looked back at Van, he looked speechless. I stepped away in a rush of panic.

"Um…" I was lost for words. It wasn't like I had a back up plan for this, "Um…I'm sorry. I mean…I just thought…um…that if I…oh god…I'm s-sorry …I didn't mean to—," And in a heartbeat, before I knew what was going on, he had grabbed me by arms and had his lips crashing into mine. Breathless, he didn't waste any time in opening my mouth. For a second, I thought I was going to faint, but I forced myself to run my fingers through is hair. I was going to do this with a straight head. I was going to go do this. And good long seconds later he had broken away.

With my airway free, I gasped for an amount of air while controlling my spinning head at the same time. He was holding my neck in a small embrace, and he was smiling, "Honestly, I thought I'd never hear you say that."

Unable to do anything, I smiled weakly at him. I was still in shock. So in shock that I'd forgotten the reason behind this. Then when he drew in me into a tight hug, I heard the bell and the yells of a few girls.

"Hey! Watch where's you're walking!"

Looking over Van's shoulder, I looked at a particular boy barrel past shoulders and couples. In my eyes he stood out like the eyes of a storm. He had seen me. His storming pace disappeared into a thicker crowd and I smugly smiled into the distance.

Take that Syaoran Li. Let's see you eat your own dirt.

Syaoran Li P.O.V

Fuck that bitch.

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A lil angst chapter. Therefore all the swearing. I know not many of you are fond of that, but it had to be done. That's the first step to teen love squabbles. Btw, please excuse my bad grammar and spelling. I just thought I'd update it before delaying it anymore. Heehee. Also apologies for not updating since…let's see…April. Six months. Ow! gets smacked by rotten tomatoes Gotta run.