Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters mentioned, they are property of Seven. I'm just playing with them for a bit.
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Saving Grace is a series of one shots that follow on from one another, depicting the lives of Matilda Hunter and Lucas Holden.
Full Summary: Matilda Hunter is forced to live a life she hates. And loves. Stuck between life and death, she hovers, waiting for someone to come and save her. Waiting for that one moment that will change her life. Lucas Holden has been forgotten for most of his life... for alcohol, for the endless stream of men his mother would bring home. He's told he's special, but he refuses to believe them. What will happen when serendipity takes hold of their lives, and a series of random events lead to one ultimate mistake?
Rated M for drug & alcohol abuse, sexual situations and suicidal thoughts. You have been warned. Do not read further if you are uncomfortable with these things.
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Saving Grace
Chapter Twelve: Stolen Car
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I met a little girl and I settled down
In a little house out on the edge of town
We got married, and swore we'd never part
Then little by little we drifted from each other's hearts
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I smiled at Luke, but as my gaze dropped to the small white object in his hand, the smile fell from my lips instantly. And I turned on my heels and walked out of the room, unable to face his questioning eyes, which were asking me one thing. Why?
I wasn't able to answer all those questions, so I ran. Because I'd always run away in my life… running was always the easy option. That way all the problems, instead of facing them, they disappeared… and that was how I loved it.
I heard Luke call my name as he followed me down the hallway. No doubt, if he were running at his full pace, he'd have caught up with me by now. But he knew that I needed this. I needed the escape from my own prison; I needed the escape from the abyss of darkness that I'd fallen into so long ago.
Only, I didn't think I ever could.
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At first I thought it was just restlessness
That would fade as time went by and our love grew deep
In the end it was something more I guess
That tore us apart and made us weep
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Reaching the doors to the front gardens, I stumbled out of them into the fresh morning air. The warm sunlight hit my pale face and I squinted into the sunlight, looking up into the crystal blue sky, and shivered a little as the enormity of it all overwhelmed me momentarily.
In this place of serenity, where the garden was luscious and green, and the sky was so clear and blue you could see tomorrow, I wondered how such a messed up girl could have survived in the world. Why was god punishing me? Why was he not there, the night when my dad left, the night when he came? Had he been hiding in the shadows, lurking, afraid to reveal himself?
Or had he not heard the calls of a broken child? Had he ignored the small cries that fell from my burning lips at night as I huddled into a ball, hoping, praying that his voice wouldn't creep through the door, and the floorboards would creak under his heavy feet.
Did he even hear my prayers?
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And I'm driving a stolen car
Down on Eldridge Avenue
Each night I wait to get caught
But I never do
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"Maddie." I heard his voice call out to me, breaking me from my sinful thoughts. Stumbling again I ran towards those large trees that had curled their way towards the heavens. It was there that I found the darkness I needed so, it was there I found safety and protection from his eyes that could see into my soul.
I found the weeping willow that fell over the fence, and slumped down at the base of the trunk, my face falling to my knees, my cheeks damp from the hidden tears that had fallen. It was a moment Luke had seen many times before, the broken girl, alone against a world that was determined to watch her fall and fail once more.
He'd always been the one that had taken my hand and pulled me into that glimmer of light, that glimmer of hope that he'd always brought with him. But now, when I looked into his eyes, I only saw despair, and fear. The hope had disappeared long ago.
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She asked if I remembered the letters I wrote
When our love was young and bold
She said last night she read those letters
And they made her feel one hundred years old
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"Maddie." He said, as he appeared at my side. I looked up to see those deep blue eyes staring back into mine, with all the confusion in the world settled in them. "Maddie," He repeated tenderly, sitting down across from me and taking my hands in his. "I need you to tell me everything. I want to help you, and to do that I need to know you. I need you to trust me." He pleaded, but I looked away from his hopeful gaze.
"You can't keep shutting everyone out Maddie." He continued relentlessly. "One day it'll catch up with you, and maybe then there won't be anyone here willing to save you." He cried, standing up and storming off further into the lush green trees that we were surrounded by.
"Luke." I heard my voice call, and although it was barely audible, he still paused, but didn't… couldn't turn around to face me.
"Please Luke," I begged, "Please don't believe this is about you. Or about us." I cried, the soft tears falling down my cheeks, but I couldn't begin to care about wiping them away. "You, your…" I said, stumbling over my words as they became caught in my throat. "Love was something I was never shown, until you. And with all my heart…" I said, pausing as he began to turn around and face me "… I wish that I were able to love you, like you love me." I said, as I fell against a tree. "But I can't Luke. Because I can't love someone… someone as broken, as shattered as me cannot even begin to grasp any concept of love."
His body sighed heavily as he turned fully towards me, his strong, smooth hands reaching out to my waist and pulling me against him. I melted into his embrace, wanting… needing to feel the love, strength and support one final time. Needing to play pretend for just that moment longer.
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And I'm driving a stolen car
On a pitch black night
And I'm telling myself I'm gonna be alright
But I ride by night and I travel in fear
That in this darkness I will disappear
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Breathing in his scent, memorising how our bodies moulded perfectly together, I felt my tears begin to moisten his shirt, and realised that if I stayed there a moment longer, I might never be able to fight of that feeling that I could always just pretend. Because that would be easier. But it would mean Luke would not live the life he was able to lead. I'd forever be holding him back and pulling him down from what he could achieve.
"We weren't meant to be together." I whispered, breaking away from his strong embrace and pushing his body away from me. "I wasn't meant to be saved Luke." I said tearfully as I looked up into his deep blue eyes, swirling with all the emotions in the world. "I wasn't supposed to be saved." I repeated, more for myself, as Luke pulled me towards him again.
"Yes you are." He said, his hands coming up to cup my face, forcing my dark eyes to look into his light ones. "Why can't you be saved Maddie? Why can't I save you?" He asked, his voice breaking from fear and love and rejection, and everything else I'd brought upon him.
"I can't do it Luke." I said finally, firmly, sadly, pulling myself out of his embrace and walking backwards. "You can't save me, because I can't be saved." I cried, turning away from him and running into the distance.
It was for the best, I kept telling myself. Because he didn't deserve me… and I didn't deserve him,
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But I ride by night and I travel in fear
That in this darkness I will disappear
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AN: The anti-climatic climactic chapter. And it all comes crashing down. Two more to go, but there will be a bit of a delay, my excellent proof reader Kate has gone away for a week. Oh well, I'm sure no one hates me entirely for drawing this out any longer than it has to. Thanks for the reviews, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter.