Title: Head Over Heels

Author: Shinsei Kokoro

Chapter: 19: Miss Me Not

Updated: 17th December 2005

Sakura Kinomoto P.O.V

Sometimes playing games gets out of control. One second you're in the most nerve-wrecking situation of your life, and the next you're provided with an opportunity to forget about all the bad things that has happened to you. If only for a moment.

Ok, so who would ever pass up a chance like that?

I admit, I was depressed. Sort of vengeful. And in complete need of comfort. Something to get my mind of Syaoran. A slimy drug-addict of an ex-boyfriend.

And then there was Van.

Believe it or not, but by the end of the week that I'd psyched him out by kissing him, we were on our third date.

During our first date, which he'd asked me only seconds after I'd watched Syaoran stomp away after seeing us kiss, he had been slow with it. I was surprised to not have been grossed out when he had reached for my hands under the armrests between us in the cinema. But being with him was like a surprise after another surprise.

He wasn't the annoying, macho, butt-kissing boy I'd taken him for when we had first met. Sure he was a flirt, but maybe that was something that came with being rich. And he was sort of sweet too. He paid for nearly everything, and dear sweet Jesus thank you, he wasn't the touchy-feely sort of guy either.

So I liked him. I hadn't expected him to be a total different blue-print, but somehow I actually liked him. As a friend of course.

Thus the upcoming of my guilty conscience. Maybe no one knew it, but deep inside, it was killing me. I was actually playing him. Well, using him in this case. I flirted back, held his hand whenever possible, and spent lunch hours in the library together working on homework or even sneaking in some lunch.

He called me often, and even met up with Dad when he had come to pick me up for our last date to his soccer semi-finals. And I think Dad liked him too. As in he hadn't made a dash to phone the police and he hadn't set Kero on him. So I was guessing and hoping that was a good thing. Maybe I could finally show Dad that I was capable of meeting up with the good citizens who didn't drag race and break into houses to beat up their occupants.

It felt normal. I felt normal.

I had a decent guy, decent friends (I don't suppose Eriol counts. I can never look him in the eye at any purpose) and a decent time at school.

There were people coming up to me and saying 'hi, how was that Algebra test', 'man I just wish my parents would let me get out this weekend' and even 'I think you and Van make such a great couple'. But of course this was all courtesy of Van. These people wouldn't ever even look twice at me if I wasn't his girlfriend, but who was I to complain?

Life was good.

Terribly good.

In fact, so terrible good, that every time Van came an inch closer to kissing me, I jerked away with a tiny laugh. Hoping to make it look like a total innocent mistake. Maybe it was going to take some time to ever do that again. I didn't want to be completely disloyal.

But the best thing of all, I had told my group that anything and everything between me and Ryoga (my secret wooer in Tokyo) was over. Like finally.

Van was ecstatic, Naoko and Rika just congratulated me, Eriol frowned, and Tomoyo squeezed my hand with a somewhat sly twinkle in her eyes. Of course, she was the only one who would ever know how hard it was to keep a non-existing boyfriend in tow. In more ways than one in fact.

"Sakura?" the voice rang through my head, bringing me to turn and place my attention onto the speaker.

Van was currently driving me back home from the bowling alley, and I had spaced out once again for the third time that day.

"You okay? Not pissed right?" he had that concerned look on, while his eyes were darting back and forth from me to the road.

I laughed, "Pissed at what?"

The concern was placed by a mock snigger, "That you lost all the rounds. I mean, even Naoko beat you, and you should know. She sucks at bowling."

Punching his arm lightly, I appeared to look embarrassed, "Oi, don't be mean. Every professional has to be a beginner at one point." Or so I thought.

"Professional?" Van chuckled, "Yeah sure, maybe at rolling your ball into other people's lanes, but not, I'm sorry to say, at winning."

"Hey!" I gave him another punch with a laugh.

This was exactly why I enjoyed spending time with him. He made me laugh. He wasn't a brain-dead jock, whose eyes only rested on skirts. He wasn't what I'd thought of him before at all. He actually had a good sense of humor.

When he stopped by my gate, he reached towards my arms, and pulled at my shirt sleeve to give me a peck on the cheek. At this point, it was impossible to not think of what had happened just a few weeks ago in this exact same spot. The night Syaoran had been driving me back home after the party at his place. He had grabbed my arm before I could have hopped out, and kissed me mad. That memory suddenly seemed such a long time ago. So…old.

"Sakura?" I shook my head, ridding myself of the warm touch, and concentrating upon Van's cool fingers on my elbow. He was a good guy.

"Yeah?" I didn't want to seem absentminded already.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"Oh yes! I'm just a little…let's just say…my game plan didn't go really so well." I opened the door and got out before he could speak, then added in, "Next time, you guys won't be so lucky. I'll beat all of your sorry bums!"

He laughed, appearing almost a little relived, "We'll see. I don't think even professionals can surpass my honed skills."

"Dream on." I let him squeeze my hand through the window, before he stepped on the gas pedal and was off down the road.

I stood there on the curb until his car disappeared behind the nearest corner, then made my way into the house. It was somewhat silent when I hung my jacket in the closet, "Dad! I'm home!" I made it into the lounge, yelling my presence. Where was Kero? Why hadn't he come bounding, skidding and sniffing at my hands by now?

"We're in here!" Touya's voice came hurling from Dad's room. What on earth was Touya doing in Dad's room anyways? Hehe, wait till I told Dad when he came back…

I halted by the doorway, my evil thoughts disappearing, a little shocked by what I was seeing. I didn't move until Touya who was sitting on the bed beckoned to me. Dad looked up at me from the bundle of blankets that were strewn on the floor, "Not to worry sweetie. The Doctor said it wasn't anything serious. Just a tummy bug."

I stood there for a second before rushing in next to the blankets. Poor Kero was lying there in the midst, only his head poking out, his pink tongue half lolling out. He waddled a little as I scratched him behind his ears, and held him by his head, his fur feeling soft against my fingers, "Oh god. Was it something he ate?" I'd hardly ever seen the mutt so unenthusiastic.

"No, don't think so. It's apparently just a bug that the dogs have been getting. Something to do with the season or something." Touya was mumbling. Yes, leave it up to big brother to get useless information. Did dogs even get tummy bugs as the seasons changed? What a load of crap!

Dad then stood up, stretching his arms a little, "Well, whatever it is, he'll be as good as new by tomorrow. Let's just let him rest."

"Fine with me." Touya stood up to walk out the door, before pausing to look at me, "No more losers giving you trouble at school?"

I was a little taken back, but with a quick glance at Dad's expecting face, I shook my head, "No."

The little we spoke on Syaoran Li, the better.

The silent treatment was probably the worst punishment invented. Dad gave my head a quick pat, then followed after Touya, "I've got some work to finish, but I'll call you for dinner after a while okay?"

"Sure Dad." I didn't move from my spot. As the door closed behind me, I took a quick look around the room. The bed was neatly made. The desk in the corner was tidied up. And the only photos to be found were of me, Touya and our dog. None of the wives were displayed on his wall. Not Nadeshiko nor Mom. I was happy for him.

I looked down at Kero as he whined pitifully. With a big heave, I dragged him across on my lap, where his head laid on my thigh. Maybe I'd been ignoring him a little too much in the past few days. Maybe it was time to be a good dog owner once again.

I bent down to give him a quick kiss between his two flattened ears, "Tomorrow, I'll take you for a nice long walk at the park okay boy? That's a promise."

In response, he only growled before making himself comfortable and sliding into a deep slumber with dreams of chasing poodles and alley cats.

Syaoran Li P.O.V

Fainted in the weekend again. Again in the shower with blood around my mouth. That's how Yamazaki found me. He brought me to bed, and during midnight or about that time, I went for another puke. And that's how Meiling found me. A shitty start to another shitty weekend.

I don't think they've told anyone else, but when they look at me, it's as if they know all my fucking secrets. That's how they look at me now. Like I'm some walking rotting body to analyze. It's annoying as hell.

There are exams coming up next month. That's the topic most of the girls are on. Chiharu's freaking out for no reason and Meiling has been failing her English papers from the day she was born. Me? I'm a straight B boy. I think that's a good enough grade. Anymore higher than that, and I think the school might actually kick me out for cheating. After all, if they can pin me for being an arsonist for no bloody good reason, they're capable of every shit to get me out of this school.

Sanron High loves me to fucking bits. Yeah, honesty is the best policy.

I've decided to stay in for this weekend. I'm too bloody tired to even open my eyes. And I suppose my head might even be capable of splitting into two at that moment.

So me and the boys were watching TV. The next best thing after speeding on the highway.

"Man, piece of advice, don't even think about her." Yamazaki was preaching, but Shiroi on the other hand, had plans.

"But I've been trying to get to her for bloody ages. And now, she's going out with that asshole."

"Who?" Meiling was all ears, her eyes watching me from the corners.

"That Van guy. Hangs out with Eriol Hiiragizawa. A bunch of hardout shits."

"And when did this happen?"

I was itching to get away from there. But with my heavy head, I might as well run into a freaking truck.

"A week or so back." Shiroi mumbled.

I honestly hadn't known. I hadn't known he'd ever had the hots for Sakura. It sort of hit me suddenly the day I'd overheard him and some other guy talking about it.

"Sakura eh?" Yamazaki leaned back, admiring the way he had piled the beer cans on top of another, "Isn't that the one you were chasing after Syaoran?"

I had just been sitting there, huddled away, and suddenly everybody's looking at me. I managed to sit quiet for a few seconds, before looking up to glare at them, "What!" I barked. Like they expected me to give them an answer.

Shiroi gave me a little nudge, his freckled face grinning like an idiot, "I knew there was something up when she first talked to you. Minas not making your life fun enough, you bad boy?"

I stared at him, and then I noticed everyone was looking at him like he had grown two heads. I felt like pounding him. Honest to God, I felt like clocking him across the face right then and there, "You can have her. She's bitch anyway."

But screw this. I wasn't in the bloody mood to be back lashing, so I grabbed my keys from the TV stand and walked out. Running into a truck sounded so much better than gossiping with these morons.

There was a little bit of hustling that I was aware of, but I was down the stairs in a matter of seconds. No one had yet reported about the bleeding elevator, so I let my hands follow down the rails, my feet moving at their own right.

Then suddenly, I couldn't see straight. I doubled over a little, before pushing myself forward.

There was no where to go.

If I went back up there, they would hound me down, before they got an answer. And no way was I looking forward for that.

"Syaoran!"

And then suddenly, before I could even reach towards my car, Meiling had grabbed my arm, "Piss off!"

"Hey! Relax!"

Relax? Yeah, like I was capable of that.

"Syaoran!" Now she had clutched my shirt, and I dumbly stood there, letting her harass me, "You idiot! What is wrong with you! They were just playing!"

For a second, I had noticed, but as I found myself balanced, she grabbed me by my shoulders, "Are you okay?"

No I wasn't. I was tired. I was so damn tired. And angry. And hungry. And so sleepy. I just wanted to be in bed. I just wanted to sleep!

"Yeah." I murmured, my hands still pawing the handle of the car.

Before I knew it, she was checking my forehead, then sighing, then letting me go and opening my door. I stood there confused as I watched her get behind my wheel and slam the door shut.

"What the hell are you doing?" my voice croaked.

Then she motioned with her thumb to the passenger seat.

Groaning as loud as I could, I didn't hesitate. I just wanted to get out of there.

We were pulling out on the road and in seconds I could feel the wind running through my hair and cooling my neck.

"You didn't think I was gonna let you ride in that state did you?" Meiling was asking, and I just grunted in answer.

"What are you on?"

I glanced at her, but her eyes were on the road, "Nothing."

"Don't!" her voice was suddenly hard, but then she softened it, "Just tell me the truth. What is it?"

"I haven't taken nothing!" I almost yelled, then winced at how the sound nearly blew my eardrums.

She was quiet, and I took that as a peace treaty. But when Meiling was quiet, she was sort of dangerous. Something like a volcano. Waiting to erupt at the least possible time.

She was driving to nowhere, and I was just letting my eyes get their rest. That was the way I liked it.

"Me and Yamazaki think something's wrong with you." I nearly didn't hear her, but then she repeated herself.

"And I think you guys are getting too fucking paranoid." I said rolling my eyes.

"Health-wise Syaoran! I mean…I mean all that blood…it-it can't be n-normal…" She was quiet once again, and I watched her Adam's apple jerk up and down as she swallowed hard.

"Meiling…just drop it. I'm fine."

"No you're not!" she shrieked out of the blue, "You're not fine! It's all because of…of-of your drugs! I know it! People just don't bleed like that. It's not normal!"

"Hey! I should know if I'm fine or not okay? And I'm fine!"

"Then where do you suppose the blood—,"

"It's just a little bit of it! Probably tore a bit of skin inside or something."

"That's not possible!"

"Oh yeah? And how would you know?"

"Syaoran. Please let's just go to a doctor or—,"

"No!" I growled, "No way! Nothing's wrong with me! Just fucking drop this!"

And she did. Thanks to me, she didn't utter a single word to me until I went to bed. What a perfect day.

But of course, I would have to be crowned the next King if all my days were to be perfect. Because the first thing I see the next day are the Golden couple of the sodding century walking across the quad, the exact same time me and Shiroi enter it.

He was snarling beside me, murmuring about how he was way better. But I just kept it all in. Who the hell cared? As long as I wasn't seeing double and a few good feet away from Meiling.

I went to homeroom, with everybody looking at me shocked. It had been a while since my name had been ticked on the register, and it had been like that for a few weeks. The teachers' were surprised that I even made it to their classes. But with the Principal's orders, I guess, he'd even expect me to hold my breath until I was out cold. If it wasn't legal, then I bet he would love to see me hanged. What with all the troubles I've caused him over the years, I've defiled his goddamn school. I bet that would get him to chill a bit and not worry about me setting fire to any other building.

Unfortunate for me, I did hesitate a bit when going into History. I wasn't covering from her or any bullshit like that. So I walked in like I owned the world. I just didn't want her to think I gave a shit about whatever the hell she was up to.

I sat at my seat and discreetly scanned my eyes over the empty seat across the room.

Sakura wasn't there, but she was there in the second row, chatting up some guy. Bitch.

Heh. Like I cared. She could be sitting in the fucking jaws of a shark for all it mattered. But instead of making me feel better, the entire class felt like I was being put of trial. It was so flipping long and hot that I felt restless when only ten minutes had passed by.

At first it was just my legs jumping up and down in boredom, but then it was nerves. I had to get out of there. It was suffocating.

So I did just that. I walked out. Screw the principal; I didn't wanna die over a stupid promise.

I didn't want to go backfield in case anyone stapled me about yesterday, so I rounded up at the toilets. I pinched myself hard when the fact that I had slipped into the girl's bathroom in the starting of the term got fixed into my head. And all for what? To ask a tramp to Meiling's party.

Swearing at myself, I pushed through the door, ignoring the voices that suddenly filled through my ears. They stopped the moment I stepped in, and I looked up to glance at them. I stood straight on my heels.

Well well, if it wasn't for Hiiragizawa and his non-existing retarded mate (whatever his name was.)

They didn't scowl, but I didn't wait for them to start.

"I thought fuckshits like you didn't wag."

Eriol didn't grin. I don't think I've ever seen him smile at anyone but girls in skirts. "And I thought assholes like you were incapable of thinking."

I went to the basins, before turning the tap on full force and letting the water glide through my fingers, "Guess you thought wrong. If I wasn't thinking, then I'd be brain dead." I picked up some of that water to wash my face, then ran it through my hair. I could see their faces in the mirror. They were definitely scowling now. But it was funny how it was only Eriol who talked.

"The only think you know is shit." Eriol drawled, and even he knew that if I had a gun on me right then, there would be one fine hole in his skull.

I didn't let it bother me, but the moment I turned around I could see his fists coming onto me, so I did the first thing my reflexes were born to do: I punched him in the jaw. But then that meant that the other guy had the chance to hold me down while Eriol nursed his jaw by cursing all the way through. I kicked and body slammed the other guy off me by the time Eriol came with his fists again.

"Two on one!" I roared, "I always knew you were a fucking wuss!" I spat at his face the moment he lunged at me.

"You're trash Li!" he stabbed his one fist into my back, while the other guy held me by my neck, "And you it know too well!"

Tossing the guy over my back, I grabbed his legs and pulled him down with me, my elbow slamming against his stomach, "That's right. I already knew that!"

I was panting now. But I hadn't even started.

"You should learn to mind your own business!" Hiiragizawa hissed as he missed another punch at me, but got my shoulder.

I sneered at him, wiping my mouth as I felt a metallic taste come up my throat, "And what have I done now? Snatched another one of your bitches? Which one is it this time?"

Eriol paused for a second, the other guy still latched onto me like he'd been stuck to me by some glue. Then he grinned, "Nothing. Just love taking you down after all the show off that you've done."

I didn't spare him another glance, "I don't show off when I'm kicking your ass Hiiragizawa. I do it because I want to break your bones for real!" This time I sent the mate hurling against the wall, but I wasn't given time with Eriol's face in front of mine again.

"Don't pretend like you don't know it. Everything's all blood and sweat the moment Kinomoto's near." this time he took a clean swipe at me. I didn't even know what hit me for a second. But I steadied myself. What the fuck was he going on about! And I asked him just that.

"You say it like it don't mean a thing, but you know it yourself." He grunted as I locked my arm against his throat and brought his face against a wall, "You love a fight when she's around."

Hissing in his ear, I grabbed the back of his shirt and blocked an unexpected punch from his friend, "You think I'm not loving this fight right now?" I was itching to snap his teeth. Itching to tear his skin even though my breath was coming out harder than I thought.

"Don't blame me 'cause your friends are too loud!" Eriol turned at that movement to sock a kick into my gut, and that metallic feeling in my throat surged back up. But my mind was anywhere but on that.

"What!"

"Ahh. So it was supposed to be a secret?" he was smirking like a fucking cat, then I jumped at him, "That's too bad. 'Cause it not a secret anymore!"

I don't know what happened right then, but I met him in a tight bunch. What the fuck was happening? My friends! How the hell had he found out! No one knew it!

That's when it hit me. Although the friend had grabbed by my stomach, my arms were still free to swipe a cuff at Eriol, "Tell me, was it the bitch that put you up for this?"

His eyes blinked a little, but if only he had been wearing his glasses today. I would have blinded him forever as a gift.

"Heh!" he sniggered as I failed to move from where his friend still held me down, "I don't need anyone to tell me to beat the shit out of you!"

"Yeah? Too bad then I guess I got more out of her then you ever could!" I don't know where that came out from, but I just blurted it. As in who cared anymore?

But that had him halted for a second longer. His eyes shifted again, doubt spreading over his face like a bullet. This was before he grinned still a little uncertain, "In your dreams! I think she'd rather die before looking at you!"

At that I knew I had gotten him. Even though I was wheezing so bad, I knew I had his head turning.

There was a sudden shot of air, and we both watched as the guy who had been holding me down had ran out.

I smirked at Eriol, "Wanna dog it too?"

But he didn't answer me, instead he made another grab for my shoulders and said, "You're jealous aren't you?"

"Oh what?" I shot out as my adrenaline came suddenly breathless. I let him ram me against the wall. I took in a gasp of air the moment his arms loosened.

"That you're never gonna have her!"

I was boiling, and before I knew it, I gave him a head bang, "I don't want any shit that's been though you!"

Eriol went and hit himself against the basins, his voice low but loud enough for me to hear, "Maybe a few weeks ago, I would have agreed." He looked up at me with a bloody chin, as my legs swayed a little. My mind was a rustle. "But lucky for you, she never has."

I charged to give him one last kick, but any energy that had been driving me, suddenly vanished.

But lucky for you, she never has.

I froze at a mid-shot, but he didn't. He punched me nonetheless.

She never has.

I was slammed against the wall this time, and my head went cold suddenly. What did that mean?

There was another punch, but I didn't block it. I just stared at him right in the face. Did that mean that Sakura had never…never been with Eriol? That she had never…

That was where everything ended. Because even before he drove another fist into me, the pain came crashing down on me, and after that, there was nothing but darkness.

This black inkiness and a whole load a pain that laid me out cold. This time for real.

But lucky for you, she never has.

Sakura Kinomoto P.O.V

It was all over school. The fight I mean. Between Eriol and Syaoran, in the boy's toilets nonetheless. Everybody was talking about it. But I had given my brain strict orders not to even think about it.

Instead, I was to think about the Math's test that I had just failed, and the lecture I had gotten out of it from my teacher. I was to think about what to take to the slumber party the girls had on this weekend. I was to think about how finally I had lots more friends, and was finally actually giving a damn about my results. I was to think about how Van had unexpectedly whispered 'sweetums' into my ears today. And I was to think about how sweet that sounded. Sappy, but sweet.

In Computers, even the guy who usually sits beside me and snobs me was talking about it. About how the teachers had gotten called the moment Hiroshi, one of the guys that had been with Eriol, had gotten away. About how Syaoran had fallen out unconscious the moment Eriol had given him one last punch.

He gave the information to me in short intervals, and I just nodded, my head numbly processing it and all the while still trying to ignore it. Unconscious?

But whatever gave me the impression I could.

The second into lunch, Rika and Tomoyo and Naoko were blubbering about it. Tomoyo nearly in tears about how hurt Eriol was, and the entire gang swearing at Syaoran. It was almost pitiful. I couldn't wait to get out of there, but Van had grabbed my arm the moment I had attempted to get up.

"Nhh?" I managed to grunt looking at him, a big smile slapped across my face, but my jaws clenched. He didn't really expect me to stay here and hear all of this, did he?

"There's something you should know." He looked a little uneasy as he mumbled the words to me. No one was listening to us, but he was still darting his eyes around. Eriol wasn't here. Instead he was up on detention. Syaoran? I didn't even want to know where he was.

"What is it?" I asked.

That's when he dragged me away. He took me out of the cafeteria, but I don't think anyone even cared. We were nearby a few deserted lockers when he grabbed my arms and stood me still. What on earth was wrong with him?

And I asked him just that, "What's wrong Van?"

"Okay." he breathed, before rubbing his palms together and looking at me distractedly, "This is gonna sound weird and pretty mucky, but you should know this. Jut in case he tries anything—,"

"What? Who?"

"Listen!" he grabbed my arms again, and my skin tingled at his touch, "I mean, I'm not exactly sure but Eriol told me to tell you this. It's something he heard—,"

"Just tell me." I interrupted again, my voice loud with agitation. What was he getting at?

"Apparently Syaoran Li has the hots for you."

For a few mad seconds we stood there staring at each other. His words ringing hollow in my ears. Then my expression broke and he took me into his arms, "I know, I know. It may sound scary, but nothing's gonna happen to you! I promise. He won't be anywhere near you, okay? We'll tell the principal and they'll do something. Nothing's gonna happen to—,"

"Are you sure?" I spoke in through the folds of his jackets, once again stopping his train of speech. My head felt heavy. My chest felt heavy. And so did my back. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I honestly did.

"Umm no, but if Eriol said so, then yeah. I mean, it probably has to be true. That guy's an ass anyway but mostly capable of anything!" Van was on a roll, but I tuned him out.

Eriol?

How the hell had Eriol ever found this out? How had anyone figured this out? It wasn't supposed to have. No one on was ever supposed to know this! Oh my god, what was happening! Maybe…maybe Syaoran had told him. Probably in a moment of frustration…or maybe…or maybe just to get back at me. To ruin me.

Van was continuously trying to comfort me, taking my silence as a sense of fright. But in the end I managed to tell him that I could take care of myself. That I could handle it.

"What?" he sounded a little surprised, "Are you kidding?"

"Van, just leave it. I can take care of it. It's not like he'll try anything on me now."

"Y-yeah but, what if—,"

I broke him off like I usually did, "I've handled losers before Van." Then with another forced smile, I grabbed his arm and walked us back into the cafeteria. But what he didn't have to know was that my heart was beating like crazy.

I knew why the asshole was doing this. I knew why Syaoran was doing this to me. He couldn't live with the fact that I was with Van. Maybe he was jealous like I had planned him to be. But if he was going to take down my reputation, then I was taking him down with me.

I wasn't going to let him ruin my life like this. What he had done to Touya was one thing, but now it was different.

The rest of the day went down as a blur, and all I ever thought about was ways to retaliate to any other stunt he was going to pull. I wasn't going to be caught off-guard again. I was gonna spit back at him. Even if it meant going face to face with him. He had brought out enough depression over me in a few months than in the past couple of years and I had had enough of playing duck.

P.E came in a scuttle, and I realized I had forgotten my trainers in the rush I had been to get to class on time, avoiding Tomoyo while at it. But I wasn't allowed to go and get it back. I would have to just do the track without my shoes. I suppose it wouldn't be that bad.

I ignored Meiling throughout the lesson. I was sure that I was going to be sick if I even got a look at her face. I might be forced to say something or blurt out the anger that was swirling in me. Instead, I burnt it all in running my legs off.

Since the fight was the hot topic of the day that was the only thing the entire class talked about in between races. So I did the best could. I did every run by my self. I didn't stop to chat with anyone lest they say anything about me. And I sure as hell didn't slow down when a few girls hurried up to me to ask how Eriol was doing as I hanged out with him. Like I was going to have any answers. I hadn't seen Eriol ever since end of lunch. He had come into the cafeteria looking exhausted after being hounded by the office. And when he had left, he had looked at me long and hard.

I could be careful by myself thank you very much. So he might have had a few flings at Syaoran Li. But I was the one who had actually been with him for a couple of weeks. I was the one who had first handedly witnessed how brutal he could be.

I didn't require lessons on being careful.

But unknown to me as today had always been, the bell went without my hearing it. I stopped on the track only when our teacher screamed out at me to stop. I was the furthest away from everyone.

But I took my time. I waddled across the field at my slowest pace, hoping that everybody would have packed up and left before I reached the benches. I needed some time to think. By my self of course. I needed some time to be alone and wonder why the hell this was happening to me.

The field was empty when I had reached the benches alright. But not completely empty.

Meiling was sitting there in the first row, a leg propped up and her hair still tied up in a messy pony.

I attempted ignoring, and I found myself doing a good job of it, until I saw a boy slither out from behind the hoard of benches. I gave him a double glance, then snapped my head to glare firmly at Meiling. What was this? Some sort of a plan to kidnap me? To take me to their lair where they performed torture?

"Hi." Meiling's voice was far from neutral, but it didn't sound as cold-blooded. I shot another quick glimpse at the boy who walked up to us and seated himself beside Meiling. He didn't look like he was about to pull out a gun or a knife and castrate my guts.

But what the hell was I to do? It wasn't like I was actually gonna take the bait and make sweet talk. Instead, I grabbed my duffel and proceeded to walk past them.

That was until Meiling stood up to block me, "We have to talk."

"No we don't." I spat at her in my ugliest voice. I know it wasn't her fault entirely, but if her cousin was capable of doing what he had done to me, then I wasn't going to wait around to see what she could do.

"Look." Her voice was firm as she walked towards me, my feet unconsciously taking their own pace backwards. It's not that I was scared, but I was going to be cautious. "Some of my mates were talking about Syaoran and you. That's how Hiiragizawa found out. It wasn't meant to happen."

"I don't want to know this." I glowered at her, then shifted my attention back to guy on the benched just in case he tried anything funny. I really didn't want to know anything

"You have to." Now her voice was hard, "Yamazaki, tell her!"

I glanced behind her, as she barked at that boy.

I didn't hear him well at first, but he repeated himself, "It was my girlfriend. Chiharu. Sorry, but she's got a big mouth. I think she's in one of your classes."

But I hadn't moved my gaze from Meiling. I stood still, even after I had heard that. What the hell were they expecting me to say!

"So." Meiling started with a sigh, "That's why it happened. The fight." Like I needed to be reminded, "Syaoran's woken up, but—,"

"I don't want to know!" I blurted out before I had a chance to think it over, "I don't want to know what has happened to him." I didn't care.

That's when her expression changed. That's when the boy Yamazaki came to walk towards us. But not before I took further steps back.

"Can you just hear me out?" Meiling wasn't entirely looking at me, but when she did, I noticed her crimson eyes were moist. So much for killing me.

My voice was ever so hesitant, and I felt my control slip away as the boy placed a hand on her shoulder, "Make it quick."

"Syaoran's sick." Yamazaki broke in.

I laughed a little hoarsely, a little too quickly, "That's nothing new to me."

Meiling was chastising again, "Listen! I don't know what's been up with you two, but he needs your help."

For the first time that day I broke into a smile. A real horrid smile, "You're right. You have no idea of what has happened between us." I didn't know what I was saying right then, but I felt unstoppable, "Therefore you should just stay out of it!"

"He needs your help!" she was growling now.

So I screamed back, "What he needs, is a bloody psychiatrist! What he needs is to be in jail! Don't you tell me that he needs my bloody help!"

In between I heard the boy mutter something along the lines of, "Maybe we should just go." But Meiling didn't budge. She didn't even interrupt my ranting.

"You shouldn't even be near me! Do you remember the freaking rules! Or are you as stupid as this entire school is! He needs my help? Too bad, he can't have it! Not after what he has done to me!" Half of the time, I didn't even realize what I was saying, but the two outcasts just stood there as I barked and barked. I don't know how long it went on for, but by the time I stopped, I realized my eyes had tears pricking them. My voice was dead. And I was puffing for air.

But before I could go for a round two, Meiling was talking, "I know he's a bastard," Damn right, "But he's…he's been out of it." It's like her words didn't even make sense. "He's weak."

Weak, my ass! That black eye and cuts on Eriol's face could never be given by a weak guy. Never in a million years.

"It's the drugs." Yamazaki added in, not giving me time to butt in, "He's been an addict for long, but nothing's ever been wrong with him. But ever since whatever happened between you and him, he's been worse."

What?

"He hasn't been normal." Meiling was gripping onto the boy now, "And he has been very sick. He keeps fainting. He keeps vomiting. He's always half-awake."

What were they saying?

"There's always blood in his puke, and he won't go to a doctor."

Jesus.

"He's honestly loosing it." Meiling was holding onto my elbow now, but my mind had stopped thinking, "And you're the only one who can help him. He'll listen to you. I know he will! He's crazy for you."

I don't know how this happened, but in a matter of seconds there were tears rolling down my cheeks. He was sick? Fainting? Puking blood? H-how?

I knew I wasn't thinking straight. But this entire day had been so weird, that this last news was the end of my wits. I broke down in a mess.

He was sick. Oh my god, he was sick. And like always it was all my fault. I knew I wasn't supposed to care. Not after what he had done to Touya. But…but what if it was some sort of an overdose. What if…he were to die?

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AN: Darn, I know most of you guys are pissed at me, and wanna just get them together already, but I can't do that yet. I'm honestly very very very sorry. But that would just ruin the ending I have planned. So please, have some hope in me, and see how I keep going. I have a few more chapters left, and I'm sort of on a roll at the moment! So I'm hoping to get this fic over with before school starts! Ta for now.

P.S. Sorry for a very boring chapter.