This is my first Story for Samurai x or Ruroni Kenshin
Disclaimer:I don not own Samurai X/ Ruroni Kenshin some other dude does.
Thoughts
"Speech"
(Authors notes)
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A reason
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"I refuse to believe. I will survive even if the whole world turns against me. If I cannot escape my fate my only wish will be to find someone like me."
Tell me you know what its like. Tell me you know how it feels. Tell me you understand.
She grabbed her dagger, which dripped blood. Her face was drenched in tears her clothes were soiled and drenched with rain. The rain poured from the sky in buckets but even so it could not disperse the pain.
For some reason she always felt alone, she knew well enough that one was near her…But everyday when she looked around there would be someone beating her and talking about things she did not comprehend. Though she had one visitor…
She knew most of the world was against her. She always knew why and the reason nagged at the back of her mind… She cried with all her soul with no answer. A wish to be saved a wish nobody can grant.
Foolish…
She grabbed the blade. Gripping it tightly she sliced it against her arm. Blood oozed out of her wound. Pain resounded through her body as her nervous system carried the message to her brain. The pain made her feel like she was living. She constantly cut herself. Just to help her self remember she was alive.
I wanted so much to be accepted. At least by my own family… Being a slave. It is not what I wanted. I want to believe it is not what they wanted. But I know it is… I was exhausted but I knew there was work to be done. I picked up the sacks of flour and tied them to a pole two on each end. I struggled in horse stance trying to hold it up.
They said I could get a bowl of rice after I finished all my chores. I have to try harder. If I do if quickly… I can sleep more…
I tried with all my strength to lift it. I stumbled and collapsed on the ground. It felt cool against my cheeks.
I am just too weak…
I felt darkness enveloping my mind I begun to drift to slumber.
I awoke to the sounds of a furious man whose gabble was only filled with shrieks of fury. He picked up a sharp knife and sliced in my already fractured leg. I could only try to be strong… I winced slightly but held a small smile. He threw me to the base of the well. I could feel stinging pain come to my eyes. I begun to realize I was almost completely numbed all over. My kimono was grabbed and he pushed me face first into the well. His wizened face was full of glee.
My black tousled hair was damp and I struggled to reach the surface. He held her head down until I stopped struggling. When he lifted my face out I gasped the sweet air of life. It almost seemed plausible that he was going to let me off lightly for not finishing my chores but it was not the truth.
He told me words I never wanted to believe. My most loyal friend was moving away with his aunts and uncles. He was two years older than me and he had short brown hair, sky blue eyes and the sweetest personality to match. He was to only reason I had to keep on going, to keep trying.
Is there no hope for me?
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Before he left he wrote a letter for me and hid it beneath the tree at the rice grain warehouse. It was our own secret hiding spot. He always left me notes at that place as I did. It was our way of communication. Often we would not see each other because of our hurried schedules and since we were secretly friends we tried our best to keep in contact.
Lana-Chan,
I am sorry…We are moving away… I wish I could have told you face to face but it seems that that is another unfulfilled wish of mine…
I wanted to tell you that you will always be right here inside me.
P.S A smile suits you better than anyone else…
Soujiro-Kun
I stared at the letter, which was barely legible but near the bottom I saw something that made my heart soar.
It was a tiny heart.
Just a tiny heart.
That made mine soar.
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I stared at the glass shards on the floor. They glittered in the moonlight. The feelings of sadness erupted inside me. All I did was try to keep living. Why is it that my wish cannot be granted? Am I really so pathetic? Why would my family throw glass at me and shout at me?
I slowly gathered up each fragment.
Is there a place? A place where there are people who love me, for me?
Or maybe I am already condemned to death.
"Hayaku (hurry) you little worm! The chores won't be done on their own." My aunts face glare at me full of distaste. She used a free hand to slap my cheek.
My cheek began to throb. All of the glass fell back onto the floor. I reached to pick them up again.
Violently the door slid open revealing a large man, my Uncle.
"Hubby! This puny filth has been talking back again. This deserves punishment don't you think darling?" She laid her arms on top of the slightly plump man's shoulder.
"As you wish Kiritoi (hopefully this doesn't mean something.)" Hertai-my uncle-swung his foot. I grimaced as it hit my stomach a smile still plastered on my face.
"Remove yourself from my presence girl before I remove you myself." I clambered to my feet and ran as fast as my small structure could take me, their laughter echoing behind me.
Why do they choose to hurt me?
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"Does anyone love me?" I stared at my little dream self. My small for was framed with black hair. I had rosy cheeks, and fair completion. From my size I knew I was three years old.
"I leave her in your care. Please sign here and here. After this you will be able to take this orphan home." A tall man with wire rimmed glasses and black hair- that was shaved- pushed me towards my aunt and uncle. The adults grinned with pleased faces.
I have a home!
I strode up to them and shyly shook their hand and told them my name in an awkward fashion. They pat my head gently and signed the documents. The tall man gave a wave as I exited the building. I smiled genuinely smile and walked hand in hand with them. So Naïve… Not knowing about the horrors that awaited me.
I couldn't remember my own name or anything about my self before I was adopted. All I knew were the flashback that came to me when I drifted to slumber.
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Too much torture was inside this whole house. My years of torment stained the walls. Every cry, every drop of blood and ridicule filled this place. I knew I would have to escape soon.
Especially… If I ever wanted to meet Soujiro ever again…
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End of chapter 1
Hope you enjoyed it!