A/N: I'm alive! Gosh, I feel so bad for not updating this in well, FOREVER! What can I say? School sucks, work sucks I got absolutly HOOKED on the Hunger Games trilogy... I could complain about it all but I just didn't make the time for it, so I'm sorry fellow readers. I hope there still are readers out there, so please let me know if you are! Anyway, without further ado, here's the next chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own GG (at this point, thank God considering how bad it it!) and I do not own the lyrics for P. Ditty's song "Coming Home".


Chapter 6: Coming Home


Everything had returned to normal at the Bass household. Well, as normal as it'd ever be. Eric kept himself busy at his job, Serena was dating Daniel Humphrey again and Chuck would always be found stumbling into the Penthouse in the wee hours of the morning. It was odd at first for Bart, adjusting to the family that never was but, things had changed.

And they would keep changing. Bart got the call from his lawyer's office, and how the papers were signed by his daughter and guardians himself. His daughter had elegant cursive, clear yet elusive, clean but messy. Bart couldn't help but wonder- what his own child would be like.

It seemed so far into the distance at first. Trying to bring her home seemed impossible, like the light at the end of a mile-long tunnel. But now that he was past the exit and into the light, now what?

Bart continued to ponder this, taking occasional sips of his cranberry juice. Not many people knew, but Bart's favorite drink as a child was cranberry juice. It was sweet and tangy. It tasted unlike any other juice out there.

Click, clack, click, clack- Bart whipped his head around, seeing his wife approached him.

"Serena called and told me she's going out with Blair tonight." She sat beside him on the suede couch.

"And Eric?"

"He says he's working until nine tonight."

Bart didn't need to ask about Chuck. His son beat to his own drum and was off doing his own thing surely.

"So what are we going to do?" Lily asked pointedly. It seemed more of a demand and Bart wouldn't have it any other way. It was nice to just be in her presence again.

"Dinner? I've been recommended a fantastic restaurant on Park. What was it? Uh… Dooly's, I think?" Bart squinted his eyes, deep in thought.

Lily shrugged her shoulders. "Why not?"

Bart placed his hand on her thigh. They still hadn't officially gotten back in the physical sense but Bart was a betting man. Maybe tonight he'd get lucky?

You need to tell her, his conscious rung from the back of his mind. Bart acknowledged the thought. It's not that he wasn't truthful; he just didn't tell her why he and Chuck left. Everything in his mind told him to keep it to himself, but he knew Lily needed to know. Evelyn was coming home after all.

Now was the time to do it.

They arrived at Dooly's and were seated right away. It was a sleek Italian restaurant. The place was dimly lit and warm. The hostess seated Bart and Lily in a secluded booth. They ordered and chatted, all small talk really, before Bart knew he needed to out with it.

"Lily, remember when Chuck and I left after the Snowflake Ball?"

Lily turned as stiff as a statue. "Yes. It was for business wasn't it?"

Oh boy, Bart thought. He looked away from Lily's demanding eyes before slowly uttering, "Not exactly."

Before Lily had the chance to argue, Bart continued. "I uh… well, long before I became successful and before Misty died… well I don't know how to say this but- we had another child together."

Lily looked back completely confused. "What I'm trying to say is uh… Chuck is not an only child."

"Wait-wait just a minute. You're telling me you have another child? Now?"

"It's complicated. You see, after Misty died, well her sister Kim took my daughter Evelyn away from me…" Bart explained the complicated tale to Lily.

"So you went to go see your daughter?" Lily asked.

"Well, I met up with Misty's sister Kim and her husband. For years I've been trying to get her back and finally have the power and means to do it. I just got the paper back recently, and well my daughter is coming to stay with us. For a semester."

Lily absorbed the information like a sponge. "What's her name?"

"Evelyn. She's the same age as Eric."

Lily nodded.

"At the snowflake ball I wanted to tell you. I originally want you to come with me- but uh- it didn't work out. That's why I left."

"You wanted me to come?" Lily asked skeptically.

"Of course I did!" Bart countered. "I hope you're not mad-"

"No not at all. Thank you for being honest with me," Lily gave a small smile. "But, we're going to have to tell the kids."

"Chuck knows. If we're all under the same roof, we also need to tell Serena and Eric."

Lily sipped her glass of wine. "How about we'll tell them at our family dinner tomorrow night?"

Bart, relived, replied," I was hoping you'd say that."


"Katie you didn't have to all this trouble." Evelyn Bass smiled sadly at her closest friend. A group of girls stood around Evelyn. They brought gifts and a card knowing this was her official goodbye party. There were only ten people altogether, but that was enough for Evelyn. Before her stood the ten people she cared for most. Well, almost everyone. Evelyn pushed the thought away quickly like she always did when he entered her mind. Denial seemed to be working well.

"Please! Don't mention it! You're about to be going to the Big Apple! We need to celebrate this!" Katie turned and unzipped her oversized bag, revealing a bottle of champagne.

Katie smiled mischievously. "I took it from my parent's liquor cabinet."

"Katie-" Evelyn tried to argue.

"They won't notice," she shrugged. She tore the wrapping off the cork, ready to pop it. Evelyn was handed a champagne flute.

Pop!

The girls whooped and cheered, as the foam exploded from the bottle. Katie distributed the liquid to everyone before she cleared her throat, preparing for toast.

Katie raised her flute. "To our amazing Evelyn. We'll miss you so much but it's time to show New York what they've been missing!"

The girls cheered as Evelyn smiled. "All the reason for all of you to come visit me!" Evelyn replied.

"Cheers!" Katie announced before bringing the glass to her lips. Everyone did the same, and Evelyn felt the bubbles burn her throat as it scorched her esophagus. She'd never been a big fan of alcohol, and champagne was her least favorite drink. She just didn't understand why people liked it so much. It tasted vile and bitter.

Evelyn disguised her distaste for the drink, before setting it down on the table.

"Does everyone from school know?" Evelyn's friend Tamara asked. Her green eyes were curious, and Evelyn knew she meant well.

"Uh no. Not everyone needs to know her personal business Tamara."

Evelyn shot a look of gratitude to Katie for stepping in, avoiding the possibly awkward questions that could come up if they knew. That being, who she refused to tell.

It doesn't matter, Evelyn thought. I'll be leaving tomorrow and it won't matter. She kept telling herself this, but ultimately she knew what she was doing. She was running. Running as fast and as far as she could. But it was for the best. It might not seem that way right now, but he'll see- everyone will see- that it was meant to be this way.

Evelyn snapped away from her thoughts as her friends chatted all around her. This is it, Evelyn thought. Everything she'd known, felt comfortable with will be all but gone in the next twelve hours. Evelyn swallowed hard, her heart beating quicker at the anxiety over it. This was her fresh start. Her new beginning. She wasn't going to waste it.


The following evening, the Van der Basses were seated around the family table for their family meal the next evening. Everybody but Serena sat and waited. The elevator door dinged open, and out came Serena.

"Serena, there you are! We've been waiting for you," Lily exclaimed.

"What-Family dinner's tonight?"

"Yes and your late. Come sit down."

"But mom I-"

Lily cut her off, "No excuses! We have something very important to discuss tonight. So whoever you were going to meet, tell them you'll see them after dinner."

Serena hesitated; she sent a quick text before sighing dramatically. She plopped down beside Chuck, glaring unhappily.

"Now that were all here, Bart and I have something important to discuss with you."

Eric and Serena exchanged quizzical looks while Chuck smirked, who already knew what they were about to say.

"You see, during Christmas Bart went on a little side trip with Chuck and it appears we'll be having a new addition to the family."

The Van der Woodsen children stared back at Lily bewildered. "Mom," Serena spoke up, "You're not…" The words died on her lips and Serena didn't question any further.

"What your mother is trying to say is, that you're going to have another step-sibling."

Serena's eyes widened, "Mom how-"

"It's not what you think sis," Chuck cut in smirking at her step-sister's misinterpretation. "My father and I went to see a relative and well, long story short, I have a sister who is coming to move in with us."

"Okay, for a minute there I thought… something else," Eric replied awkwardly.

"Why doesn't she already live with you?" Eric questioned Bart. Bart explained the circumstances, and the nature of the curious case with the delivery of Evelyn and most of the details of her sister Kim and such.

"Naturally, since she'll need to adjust here, we want to keep things quiet," Lily added.

"So don't tell anyone until were ready." Bart sipped his drink, letting the kids absorb the news.

"Wait a minute- so Chuck is an older brother?" Serena waved her hand, confused.

"It may be hard to believe for you sis, but yes."

"Her name's Evelyn and she's your age Eric," Lily added.

"Well thank god I'm here, she'll need my guidance to steer clear of her brother," Serena quipped.

"Truth of the matter is S, that I am a good sibling. Just ask your brother."

Serena gave the look to Eric, wanting him to deny the truth in Chuck's statement. Eric merely shrugged. "He's right."

"Ah, I trained him well," Chuck smirked.

Serena rolled her eyes. She chewed a mouthful of broccoli, before questioning, "So when is she coming?"

Bart swallowed his pork. "Tomorrow."


Evelyn lugged her crimson colored suitcase behind herself, instantly regretting everything she'd brought. Her suitcase barely fit everything she wanted to bring. The zippers bulged, and it seemed that they would split open at any second.

"Are you sure you have everything you need?" Her Aunt Kim's forehead was creased with worry.

Evelyn sighed. "Yes. It's not like I'm going to a remote island or anything. If I need something there will be stores to buy them at. I'm sure I'll be fine."

They were at the New Haven train station. People flocked all around them, as they stood in the middle of the hallway. Everyone moved in different directions, all having somewhere to be.

Evelyn looked up at the boards listing the time and destinations of the departures. The train to Grand Central left in ten minutes. She needed to hurry if she was going to catch it.

"Here's your ticket." Her Uncle Travis handed her the pass. Out of the three of them, he seemed to be handling her leaving the best. That is, before he hugged her.

Evelyn stood paralyzed. She didn't know what to make of this situation. Her uncle was not a hugger and she thought she heard him sniffle. She felt trapped, his thick arms around her, unable to move. He finally pulled away, before stepping back allowing her aunt to say her goodbye.

Aunt Kim's eyes appeared glassy, and Evelyn's heart cracked. She hated seeing her aunt, the one who raised her look this way. "We're going to miss you Evie!"

She threw her arms around her. Evelyn had to bend down to meet her hug. Evelyn savored the last moment of familiarity before her Aunt pulled away. Her face became stern. "Whatever you do Evie, don't let them change you."

Evelyn pulled back bewildered. "What do you mean?"

"What I mean is that there are going to be people who you can't trust in the Upper East Side. Don't let them make you become something you're not. You're a good girl Evie, but just be careful. Not everyone will be looking out for your best interests."

Evelyn nodded, understanding the words she said, but not the levity they held. She turned to doors. "I'm going to miss my train."

Evelyn gripped the handle of her suitcase. "I'll call you guys when I'm settled in."

"if you ever need anything, just call."

Evelyn nodded. "Of course! I'm not flying to Australia or anything," she joked.

Evelyn was about to turn to the doors before the last thought came to her. She turned to face her Aunt and Uncle. "Thank you. Thank you for everything."

Her Aunt and Uncle smiled. "You're Welcome," they said in unison. Evelyn finally turned away from their saddened eyes, and with a newfound confidence marched to the train, leaving the unwanted tears behind.


"Archibald!" Chuck called, rapping his fist on his best friend's door. "Hey Archibald, get your lazy ass out of bed-"

The door swung open, a groggy, squinting Nate staring back at him. Chuck breezed past him, into the place. "This place back up and running again?" Chuck inspected the townhome, noting the lack of furniture to be only a memory. Glossy wooden tables, plush sofas and expensive valuables had been returned to their proper places.

Nate rubbed his eyes, staggering after him. "Yeah." He yawned. "What the hell are you doing here so early?"

"Well my dear friend, I," he pointed to himself," never went to bed."

"Is that so?" Nate scoffed, becoming more alert.

"Why do people want to sleep Nathaniel? There's just too much to do instead of sleep!"

"You're still drunk aren't you?"

"Please, I'm just reliving my successful night spent with Tanya Rossi."

"That virgin you kept talking about? The one you said was your new year's resolution?"

"You really aren't as dumb as you look Nate. That would be the one."

Nate dragged his feet to the kitchen, pouring a cup of juice. "And why exactly was that your new year's resolution?"

"I like a challenge Archibald," Chuck replied, rolling his eyes.

"Wait backup- you want a challenge but aren't willing to take on Blair Waldorf, the ultimate challenge?"

"Please. There are just as many girls to do that don't require the ball and chain my friend."

Nate shook his head, deciding to just let it go. "Whatever dude."

" Anyway, I didn't see you at Anthony's New Year's Eve Party. What'd you do? Or more importantly who did you do? Little J or Punky Bruster? Or both?"

"Neither. I went to the same party you did for a little bit. I said hi to you."

"You did?" Chuck asked. He remembered that night vaguely. Since when was Nate there?

"Forget about it man, I went home early and slept."

"Nate, have you gotten lonely?" Chuck smirked.

"Stop being such an ass."

And he's cranky too, Chuck thought. "All right I'm sorry. I'll lay off."

Chuck checked his phone. It was only one thirty but tonight night his sister would be coming home. He needed to sober up, or risk a bad impression. It usually never bothered Chuck what people thought of him, but because this was his family, he felt inclined to do so.

"Well, it's been nice Natheniel, but I must go."

"What you have another challenge to conquer?" He mocked.

"Unfortuately no. I have a relative coming to stay in town for the semester and should prepare. Bart will kill me if I show up like this."

"That's cool. Who's coming? A cousin?"

"My sister."

Nate's face twisted into a shocked, confused expression. "Wait what?"

"Don't look so Nate-fused about it. It's a long story but I have a sister and she's coming home to stay with us."

"Since when do you have a sister?"

"Since she was born Nathaniel."

"No, I mean are you sure this isn't just some imposter? Your dad's worth millions- even billions of dollars Chuck."

"We aren't the Vanderbilt's, Archibald. We don't try to sabotage each other to take power. Us Basses, few and far between are real. Flesh and blood."

"Alright man. I just thought uh… I don't know I'll believe it when I see it."

"And you will. Do me a favor, keep this on the download. Nobody else knows about it until we introduce her so don't tell anyone okay?" Chuck looked at Nate waiting for his confirmation.

"Of course. Your secret's safe with me."

Chuck's shoulders relaxed. "Thanks Nate. I knew I could count on you."

With that, Chuck turned on his heels and left the Archibald penthouse. He got into his limo, popped a couple (illegal) pills to sober himself up. The realization hit him that his sister was coming. He clicked open the mirror in front of him, and checked his ragged appearance. Not ever feeling the need to impress someone he never knew, Chuck usually wouldn't have cared what he looked like. But not this time. He pulled out his cosmetic kit, in attempts to clean himself up.

He was going to make a good impression for his sister. He was an older brother now-officially. He needed to.


Evelyn sat in the train compartment alone, fiddling with the hem of her soft pink knitted scarf; her forehead leaned against the cool glass pained window. She could feel her stomach churning with anticipation, as the uncertainty and the fear of the unknown encapsulated her.

I want this, Evelyn told herself.

No, I need this.

Now was her chance to be with her family. Her dad. Her brother even. And maybe stepmother? If she had one?

Evelyn knew she'd finally get to be with her family. But was it too late to be with them? She'd already grown into a person of her own. She didn't know what to expect from them, but hoped for good things. How bad could it be?

The only person Evelyn worried about what her father. She had so many questions, so much to say to him. The main question was why. Why he didn't fight for her, why he didn't care about her. Evelyn couldn't rest not knowing these answers and was determined to get them. She had no idea who her father was and now would be the time to find out.

Another thought floated in her mind. What would her brother be like? The jock type? The music type? A Casanova? A devastating thought came to her realization. What if her brother was… nerdy? Evelyn was never one to judge but that would cause serious problems. It's not like she played Risk on a regular basis with her friends on a Saturday night and played World of Warcraft. Hell, she never played Risk in her life or even knew what World of Warcraft was. One thing Evelyn knew for sure; this was going to be uncomfortably awkward.

What does one to say to their long lost brother and father? Hi, didn't seem to cut it. Where was her Aunt to tell her what she should do? Surely she could ask what her mother was like, or tell something about herself. Evelyn exhaled loudly; fogging up the cool glass with her hot breath. The fog slowly faded, like the melting of ice as Evelyn stared on the nearing of highways and subdivisions filled with identical houses. They must be already in New York State. Time was ticking and her stomach churned; the feeling of knot tightening evident by her grim expression.

She wiped her clammy hands against her best pair of skinny jeans and gazed down towards her black zip up boots. She noticed many dirt patches and scruffs on it and tried wiping it away. Her effort was useless as the dirt remnants and salt damage remained where they were on her boots.

Another thought popped into Evelyn's head. What if they don't like me? She wasn't like most girls; standing at five foot nine, large piercing blue eyes, a long face with a thick volume turf of chestnut brown wavy hair, and somewhat tanned skin. Most girls envied her. This always led Evelyn to problems.

Time kept ticking and Evelyn fell asleep. What seemed like days later but was only an hour she was jolted awake. She looked up hazily still not fully awake to see people filling out of the train. The knot in her stomach tightened as she wiped her make-up free eyes and gripped the handle of her crimson colored suitcase. This was it.

She rubbed her eyes, hoping she rubbed the sleepiness she felt away. She picked up her suitcase and wheeled it out of the compartment. She waiting in line, slowly as people milled out of the train. She stepped on the concrete platform. Voices, whistles, and metal grinding against metal surrounded her. Hundreds of people seemed to fill the station, and thankfully, Evelyn followed the throng of people to the opening of the train station.

Grand Central defiantly reflected the name. It must have been the size of at least three football fields. A huge American Flag dangled from the arched ceilings as three curved windows streamed in rays of sunlight. She remembered her instructions and followed down the escalators and turned a right, then left, to a pair of sliding doors. Outside them taxis, cars and limos were parked waiting.

Now what? Evelyn thought nervously. She strolled along the numerous parked cars and found herself passing limos. She was about to turn back, thinking she obviously went too far when a voice called for her.

"Excuse me Miss Ainsley?"

Evelyn whipped around; a limo driver stood outside his limo, holding a small white sign with her name on it.

"Yes?"

"I'm here to escort you to the Bass Penthouse." The man looked to be in his late forties.

Evelyn blinked back at him. Her eyes scanned all the way down the long limo and back to the drivers face. "Are you sure about that?"

"Quite sure actually. Let me take your bag."

The driver came forward and picked up Evelyn's bag with ease.

"That's not necessary really-"The words died on her mouth as the limo driver placed her bag in the trunk. He opened the door for her.

"Uh…" Evelyn was too stunned to answer. "Thank you," she shuffled to the doors stupidly. She was told her father was rich but she didn't think THIS rich.

"If you have any requests you can tap this button," the driver beckoned to the button above her on her right. He closed the door, and Evelyn watched his silhouette disappear around his car. She heard and felt another door slam before the wheels spun in motion.

Evelyn took that moment to grasp her bearings. Chauffer? Anything she wanted? Wait till I tell Katie about this, Evelyn thought.

Evelyn scanned the black leathered limo before her eyes rested on the mini-fridge. No way, she thought to herself. She scooted across the buttery seats and opened it. Soda, champagne, scotch and a few fruits were stocked with ice. She opened the cupboard beside it to reveal a trash bin and shelf full of glasses. Glasses of different shapes and sizes.

Evelyn retreated to her seat and gazed out the window. Bright lights flashed around her. It was almost dinner time, and darkness had cloaked the city's skies. Evelyn gazed in amazement, the enormously tall buildings, street vendors and busy people that lined the streets.

She broke her gaze away and finally became aware of the silence that had overtaken the limo once she got in it.

Evelyn pressed the button above her, the partition between herself and the limo driver opened.

"Do you need anything Miss Ainsley?"

"Not for the moment but I hope you don't mind me asking- what's your name?"

The driver looked at her through the rearview mirror. His blue eyes looked taken aback. Evelyn guessed he was never asked often.

"It's Arthur."

"That's a nice name. Have you worked for my fath- I mean Mr. Bass long?"

"Of for sure. I'd say about twenty years at least. Mr. Bass has always been good to me and my family."

Evelyn grinned at this. So her father was a good man. "Do you have any kids?"

"Two. My eldest Mary is in her third year of college and my son Brad is a junior in high school."

"That's nice," Evelyn smiled honestly. She looked around and saw the radio station. "Quick question- how do I turn on the radio?"

"Just turn the dial on and you can choose from different satellite radio stations. It'll have anything you want."

"Thanks Arthur."

Evelyn stumbled forward, as the limo jerked forward suddenly. She turned the dial and adjusted the station until she heard Ja-Da's relaxed jazz beat calm her. She'd always been a big fan of classic jazz music and had been a saxophone player in her school's jazz band. She drummed her hand on her thigh as the calming beat sooth her in a time where she felt anxious. She changed the station a couple more times, avoiding the commercial breaks, and hummed the tune.

I'm coming home
I'm coming home
Tell the world I'm coming home
Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday
I know my kingdom awaits and they've forgiven my mistakes
I'm coming home, I'm coming home
Tell the world I'm coming

After twenty minutes, Arthur pulled down the partition. "We're here Miss Ainsley."

Evelyn felt her stomach drop at such a statement. Before long, her hands became clammy, her breath shallow. Arthur opened the door for her and stood shakily. He handed her bag to her and told her to go the penthouse. The Penthouse!

I'm back where I belong, Yeah, I never felt so strong
I'm feeling like there's nothing that I can't try
And if you're with me, put your hands high
If you ever lost a light before, this one's for you
And you, the dreams are for you

Evelyn craned her neck to see the top of the building. That's where I'm going, Evelyn thought to herself. She swallowed, and lugged her bag behind her. Another man opened the door for her and smiled.

"Thank you," Evelyn squeaked. This was too much. Too much change at once.

"A house is Not a Home", I hate this song
Is a house really a home when your loved ones is gone
And n-ggas got the nerve to blame you for it
And you know you would of took the bullet if you saw it
But you felt it and still feel it
And money can't make up for it, or conceal it
But you deal with it and you keep ballin'
Pour out some liquor, play ball and we keep ballin'
Baby we've been living in sin 'cause we've been really in love
But we've been living as friends
So you've been a guest in your own home
It's time to make your house your home
Pick up your phone, come on

"May I help you Miss?"

She turned to see a woman at the front desk. "Yes actually. I'm here to see Mr. Bass?"

"And your name is?"

"Evelyn uh, Evelyn Ainsley."

She punched a couple buttons before bringing a phone close to her ear. "One moment please." The woman spoke in hushed tones before putting the phone back in its cradle. "You may go up now. It's the penthouse suite."

I'm coming home
I'm coming home
Tell the world I'm coming home
Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday
I know my kingdom awaits and they've forgiven my mistakes
I'm coming home, I'm coming home
Tell the world that I'm coming home

The woman smiled- the most unnaturally fake smile Evelyn had ever seen. "Thank you."

She pulled her bag to the elevator and hit the P button. Her stomach churned and butterflies swarmed in her stomach nervously.

"Ain't No Stopping Us Now", I love that song
Whenever it comes on it makes me feel strong
I thought I told y'all that we won't stop
We back cruising through Harlem, Viso blocks
It's what made me, saved me, drove me crazy
Drove me away than embraced me
Forgave me for all of my shortcomings
Welcome to my homecoming
Yeah it's been a long time coming
Lot of fights, lot of scars, lot of bottles
Lot of cars, lot of ups, lot of downs
Made it back, lost my dog (I miss you BIG)
And here I stand, a better man! (a better man)
Thank you Lord (Thank you Lord)

The elevator lights blinked up the eighty floors like a Christmas tree, lighting up and beeping at each floor. Oh my god, Evelyn kept chanting in her head.

I'm coming home
I'm coming home
Tell the world I'm coming home
Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday
I know my kingdom awaits and they've forgiven my mistakes
I'm coming home, I'm coming home
Tell the world that I'm coming...home

The pressure was just about unbearable for her ears before the elevator finally stopped. It dinged lightly, happily as the doors slid open. Evelyn dragged her suitcase out of the elevator. She set down her bag before turning to see two unfamiliar faces stare back at her. She tried to find the right words; words she'd wanted to say in her dreams for so long but only one word slipped out of her mouth.

"Hi."


A/N: Don't hate me for this cliffhanger! This chapter had reached the limit and I knew this was a good place to stop. The good news is that I have a day off this week and plan to finish the next chapter by next Sunday! I'm gonna try my best seeing as after this day off, my week will be crazy!

As for GG, does anybody else find Blair intolerable? I'm trying so hard to like her character but have no sympathy or care for her anymore. The only people I seem to care for in the show anymore are Chuck (dies inside) and Nate (See people? Nate IS smart!) - and Diana Payne because I'm curious WHAT her relation to Bart is.

I digress, please leave a review! I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts.