This ones for JennBenn3148!
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"El is everything okay?" Olivia asked as she looked over at him, she defiantly noticed a change since he came back from talking to the doctor.
He just smiled and nodded then glanced back at his computer screen.
"Ever since you went over to the dark side, Elliott has been a little off." Fin said loud enough for Elliott to hear as he placing a stack of folders on Olivia's desk. Elliott just looked at Fin and rolled his eyes.
He and Olivia hadn't been partners in six months but the slight separation had seemed to work since Fin balanced out Elliott and Olivia could put up with Munch.
"The dark side? Is that what partnership with Munch is called?" Olivia said looking over with a smile at Munch who just walked out of Huang's office.
"The dark side is being forced into that office and telling Huang about the details of my steamy love life" Munch said as he shut the door to Huang's office and made his way back to his desk area.
"It can't be that bad, we have been doing this for years, plus it's a nice escape from the mountain of paper work that just tops off my Saturday night." Olivia said smiling at Elliott who had been starring holes thru her, he barely returned the smile and continued to work. Olivia knew something was up with him, she knew him better than he knew himself and for him to quietly do paperwork meant something was going on.
"Good because you are next…" The captain said as he patted her on the shoulder.
It wasn't even worth arguing about so she quietly made her way to the small office.
"Hello Olivia, how are you?" George asked her as she took her seat.
"I am as good as it's going to get, how are you?"
"I am fine thank you, so how are things outside of work?" He asked her as his cell went off.
"Everything is boring which is a sign that things aren't extremely bad…wait do you want to get that?" She asked him as his phone continued to ring.
"I am sorry this will just take a second, Olivia." He apologized before excusing himself to go take the call outside.
There were no family pictures or signs that Huang had a significant other in his office, it was extremely bland with the two black leather chairs servicing as the only decorative pieces in the room. A plain folder that had
Det.7642 in bold red ink printed on the side tab caught Olivia's eye.
Who is Det. 7642? Was it me, was it El, who was it? Just look and find out, a quick peek never hurt anyone.
Olivia couldn't believe she was going to look inside the folder on the edge of Dr. Huang's desk to find out who was Det. 7642 that was labelled on the folder.
Quickly her eyes began to scan the contents of the open folder.
-Adjusting to being single for the first time in his life yet hasn't made a valiant effort on focusing on a relationship.
- Sex drive has improved since sexual impotency with his wife, now ex-wife.
Shit, this is Elliot. Olivia said to herself as she peeled her eyes away automatically feeling guilty but she was intrigued enough to read on.
-No longer partnered with his partner of over seven years .He is in heavy denial and confused about the state of their relationship/partnership.
-Sexual desires lived out in frequent dreams that may end up transferred over into the workplace.
-Guilt in fantasy's that feature his previous partner engaging in acts of self pleasure for his arousal.
- He associates fantasies with female co-worker as a deviant act due to strict catholic upbringing and work ethic, it continues as a guilty pleasure for him to….
Shit, she heard the door open and sat back in her seat. Her face was flushed and her heart was racing loudly in her chest. Elliott was having sexual fantasies about HER? They both knew they had unspoken chemistry but was it sexual? She never seemed to let it realistically enter her mind.
On more than one occasion they were called a couple by people outside of their inner group of co-workers who understood their rare brand of friendship but he was always married, he was always Elliott! She let it slip her mind and would be lying to say if she wasn't naturally attracted to him but to have him fantasize about her was another realm.
"Sorry about that detective, so what's on your mind?" Huang smiled as he took a folder up from underneath the folder and began to write.
My partner dreams about me getting off, he wants to fuck me, what now? Olivia thought to herself wishing more than anything she could tell someone, she needed it out of her system.
"I-I- actually I am doing well thanks." She said feeling as if she was outside of her body looking out from the inside.
"How is your partnership with John?" Huang asked continuing to write, she could only imagine what was inside of her folder but then again she never confessed such a private thing to Huang like Elliott had done.
"It's going good, we have worked together for ages now but being side by side with him the way me and Elliott used to be is a whole new story but we get along and get the job done." She said nervously crossing her legs.
"As with Elliott you didn't get the job done?" He asked her. She despised the way Huang got inside her head and always initiated some sort of drama or conflict.
"I never said that- but there were obviously reasons behind our break up, I mean us parting ways professionally." Olivia said looking directly into Dr. Huang's eyes for the first time that meeting.
"You let your personal relationship interfere with your professional life, Olivia it is expected due to the circumstance you were both in, are you content with the way things are now?"
Olivia wanted to talk, she wanted to spill her guts to Huang since he was the only person she could be frank with in regards to the topic of Elliott but she couldn't expose herself just yet, there was always something holding her back.
"Whatever it is we had or have or I don't know whatever we were and are…whatever it all is , I don't know what is it but it's something that I don't have with many people." Olivia said feeling a slight weight lifted off her shoulder from the brief confession.
"Many people or any people?" The doctor inquired as his hand continued to write.
"I don't have it with anyone and its scary, its wrong, its exciting and its … frustrating." She said as she shifted her bangs slightly out of her eyes which were one of her nervous habits.
"How is it all of those things? Why do you think one person leaves you feeling all those things especially after so many years?" He asked.
Olivia felt as if she was talking to a long time friend instead of a shrink for the first time since she met George Huang and it felt nice. He wasn't there to judge her well perhaps on some level he had to analyse her but he didn't hold any preconceived notions about her, he had heard and seen it all.
"I can't explain what it is and I hate the fact that seven years later it hasn't softened or disappeared, it's still the same and that's what I hate." Olivia said quietly.
"Perhaps your relationship with Elliott is the one thing in your life you have no control over and that's why you have a bitter sweet attraction to it. It's dependable, comforting but mysterious and…"
Olivia cut him off, "So you are trying to tell me I am attracted to him because of how dysfunctional yet routine we are?" She said slightly raising her voice.
"Well you could have left SVU for good less than a year ago but you did decide to come back, did he play a part in that?" He asked her as his hand never stopped once.
"No not at all, this is my job." She said defensively.
"Want me to further analyse the situation detective?" Huang said as a thin smile came across his lips. She knew that he was too smart to believe her and he first hand interacted with her and Elliott Stabler.
"I just need him there, I don't know what it is and you are right, it does bother me because I am a detective and it's clear that I am not doing it for the pitiful pension plan but because it's who I am but this isn't the only thing I am. I am a woman that feels the effects of working in a male dominated workplace and I hate how outside of work the only so called relationships I have are extremely physical and temporary. Elliott is the only man in my life that has nothing to do with what I am outside of this" Olivia actually felt good telling George all of this, she didn't know what it was that made her trust him so much to let it out but it felt amazing.
"Like you said you are more than Detective Benson but do you think you would have this attraction or attachment to him if you weren't partners for so long?" He asked her putting his pen down.
"I would have probably invited him over to my place for drinks and ignored his calls the next morning but it's El, I can't…. god." She sighed.
"It would be more than that, correct?" He asked as he picked up his pen again.
She just nodded.
"Sometimes I feel something there like a thick wall of tension and its like the past seven years have been some sort of foreplay leading up to something but it's only leading up to a dead end road" She laughed at how complex she must have sounded.
Dr Huang just starred at her and then without another word nodded and continued to write.
"I need a vacation but before that I have a pile of paper work with my name on it, Thanks Doc." She said standing up and without another word left his office.
Instead of going back to her desk she walked into the locker rooms and then went over to her locker. As she went thru her gym bag to look for a stash of red jellybeans, it hit her.
Elliott had confessed to the doctor about fantasies with her in it. He dreamt that she was pleasuring herself for his viewing pleasure. She felt embarrassed but oddly turned on. She stood up straight to look herself over in her mirror hung up in her locker.
He thought I was attractive?
Sure Olivia was aware that she was an attractive woman when she put forth effort into herself but being sexually attractive in her old partners eyes made her extremely self conscience but also flattered.
Elliott was there to make fun of her when she had hat head from wearing a wool cap on her head during the winter season when they were stuck in the car for a stake out for hours on end but not to fantasize about.
Hair is alright well it was clean, face free from make up except for minimal eye liner; her breasts weren't large but not exactly something to frown on. Working out and training gave her a lean yet womanly figure that had its imperfections but still she could admit she wasn't that bad to look at.
She put down the jelly beans and took out her lip gloss that was in a side pocket and applied a coat to her lips before walking out into the office.