Chapter 8

I tossed and turned in my coffin, my mind on what I had told Darren, knowing it was a lie, Darren would die, and it would be my fault, and I did not want him to.

He had grown on me.

He was a good person--I did not want him to die because of my faults, there has to be a way to make him drink, even the slightest drop of blood could help him…

I woke after a very light sleep as Darren was going to sleep, he looked fatigued, and must have had a long day, but what startled me more was that he was wearing new clothes. His funeral suit was gone, and a light green top, a deep blue jacket and purple trousers had taken its place. His hair had been cut, and he seemed in a daze, a much better mood.

He was staying with Madam Octa and myself since Evra's snake was sick, and I knew that as he fell into slumber as I woke, I knew that I had to take action now. It was all in a matter of seconds, I did not even get a time to think the plan through grabbing one of my eight filled bottles from last night and prized Darren's mouth open to pour in some of the crimson.

However, Darren woke up. He bit off the top of the bottle, and on impulse I tried to force him down so as to put the tiniest amount left in his mouth, but he spat it out and he forced me off him angrily.

When he realized who I was he screamed at me angrily. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU TRYING TO DO?" He asked, rage in his eyes. His lips were cut but he did not seem to care.

I lifted the remains of the bottle and in a matter of seconds he understood.

"You were trying to make me drink!" he gasped.

"You have to" I told him sadly "You are wasting away Darren. If you go on like this you will be dead within a week! If you do not have the courage to drink it must be forced into you."

He did not look at me, and I felt uncomfortable about it, I looked down at the floor, feeling like a child guilty of a crime. "I was trying to help" I insisted.

"If you ever try that again" he said slowly, ""I'll kill you. I'll wait until day then creep in and chop off your head" he said murderously.

I took it openly, he gave no merci, I allowed him to shout. I deserved it

"Never again" I admitted, "I knew it would not work, but I had to try, if you had swallowed even a little it would have kept you going a while longer, and once you had the taste, you might not be so afraid to drink again" I commented.

"I'll never have the taste!" he growled at me. "I wont drink human blood. I don't care if I do die. I wont drink it!"

"Very well…" I murmured with a softness in my voice im glad to say he must not have noticed. "I have done my best. If you insist on being stupid, on your own head be it."

"I'm not being stupid! I'm being human!"

"But you are not human" I said bluntly.

"I know that, but I want to be, I want to be like Sam and have a family and ordinary friends and grow old at a usual rate, I don't want to spend the rest of my life, feeding off humans, worrying about sunlight or vampire hunters."

"Too bad, it is the hand that you have been dealt" I said sternly, he could not hide in an imaginary life anymore…not that I wish I could give him one, but the Cirque was as close as I could get. Was that not enough, it seemed not so.

"I hate you!" he snarled and though I sighed I looked over at him this time, straight in the eyes.

"Too bad, you are stuck with me. If it is any compensation I am not very fond of you either." I said falsely and looked away, "turning you into a half vampire was the worst mistake I have ever made."

"So why not free me?" Darren wailed at me

I sighed, "I cannot" I told him, "I would if I could, of course you are free to leave any time you like"

"Really?" He asked curiously.

After what seemed a lifetime I nodded in return "Really, I do not mind, in fact I would prefer it if you did. That way you would no longer be my responsibility…I would not have to watch you die…"

And that conclusion I thought in my mind…for a reason I can't explain would hurt more than anything…

Darren sighed considering my words, and looked at me confused, "I don't understand you at all…" he said openly and I gave a small smile I rarely revealed.

"Nor I you…"

We laughed a little then, as somehow what we had admitted had broke the ice, but it made us smile all the same, as though nothing had happened. He told me what he had done that day, and told me that he had fallen from the rafters at the railway yard. That there the boy had saved my assistants life, When I next see the boy I should thank him in some way. Darren also mentioned that Sam had wanted to be blood-brothers; I knew the ritual, as a little boy I had done it with my oldest brother, a lot like vampire blooding in some respects, when you mix each others blood. It is supposedly a sign of friendship. Now way over two hundred years later all it gave me was a sore thumb and a sad memory.

Darren luckily had refused the ritual.

"It is a good job you did, Your blood would have tainted his, and he would have developed a taste for rare meat, He would have aged at a slightly slower rate than normal, it would not have been much difference, but it would have been enough"

"Enough to do what?" he asked me cautiously

"Drive him mad" I said "He would not have understood why it was happening, he would have thought he was evil. Within ten years, he would have been a screaming wreck" I admitted to Darren, who shivered at the thought.

"What do you think of Sam?" he asked me, and remembering the boy I nodded slightly.

"I have not seen too much of him" I admitted. "He comes mostly by day, but he seems nice very bright" Darren sighed and then looked at me as though trying to read me.

"He's been helping Evra and me with our chores"

"I know"

"He's a good worker"

"So I have heard"

Darren considered his words whilst I wondered if my theory of what he would ask was right "Sam wants to join the Cirque …" said Darren suddenly, "I was going to ask Mr Tall but I forgot, I'll ask tomorrow. What do you think he'll say?"

I gave a sigh frowned and shook my head, "He will say you have to ask me. Children cannot join the cirque du freak unless an independent member agrees to be their guardian."

"I could be his guardian" he insisted, with a pleading look on his face

"Your not old enough." I said softly "It would have to be me. I would have to give my permission but I will not"

"Why?" he asked

"Because it is a crazy idea" he said "One child is bad enough but there is no way I am taking a second. Besides he is human. I am stuck with you because of the vampire blood in your veins. Why should I put my neck on the line for a human?"

"He's my friend, he'd be company for me."

"Madam Octa is company enough" I said dryly.

"That's not the same!" he whined like a child…and it reminded me how much a child he was, how much he still did not understand of our ways, of how humans are to us.

"Tell me this" I mused at last, trying to find a clearer way to explain it, "What happens when he finds out you are a vampire? You think he'll understand? You think he will sleep easy knowing that his best friend wants nothing than to slit his throat and drink him dry?"

"I WOULDN'T DO THAT!" he shouted

"I know…" I murmured, "But I am a vampire, I know what you are really like, so does Mr Tall, Evra and the others, but how do you think an ordinary human would see you?"

He pleaded still despite my warnings, something must have happened that day, so as to make Darren so adamant. He had never been so stubborn with me.

"Very Well…" I murmured suddenly. "He can join"

"He can?" he started at me stunned as though I was giving me a christmas present, though I hated such rituals.

"Yes…he can join and travel with us and help you and Evra with your jobs…on one condition" I said

I knew straight away that Darren would not accept my condition, he could curse and shout all he liked, but I wasn't changing my mind. It was the only way

"He has to become a half vampire too"

I was a long 24 hours and I had spent them hoping Darren had told Sam that he could not stay. I had no intentions of blooding Sam; I just hoped Darren did not realize that and try to manipulate me. It was when I woke up that I realized I hadn't seen Darren anywhere, and I wanted to tell him that he could perform again. It was hard not to how I had been treating him.

When I was called to Mr Tall's tent. I stepped in and saw Mr Tall shuffling leaflets. "How is Darren?" Mr Tall asked.

"I have not seen him since he told me we were leaving…" I said, "Why is something wrong?"

Mr Tall sighed, "Darren was caught by RV stealing a sheep for the little people earlier today"'

I frowned slightly, "He was not hurt was he?" Upset in a way, that Darren hadn't told me.
Tall shook his head, "No, but RV was not happy, considering it seems Darren scared him enough that he ran away."

I smiled inwardly, good boy.

"I am just telling you to keep an eye out on RV, since he was once an NOP, he will most likely be trying to get the police on us, which is why we will be leaving straight after the show."

I nodded, "thank you for the warning, Darren told me that already" I said and nodding my head I turned to leave when Tall spoke again.

"Oh Larten…"

"Yes Hiberinus?" I asked looking back to see his unreadable face.

"Be Cruel to be kind…you can make up for it later…"

With a confused gaze I nodded and slowly walked out, unaware at how those words might save lives…