Author's note: I own none of the characters in this story.
Mario + Wario: The Greedlock
Prologue: Captain's Lock
The Mushroom Kingdom has for a long time been the setting for tales of heroism, selflessness, and romance, of course describing the exploits of the land's hero, Mario. However, not all tales can be about virtuous deeds against evil. Sometimes revenge, hate, and sorrow come into play. This story tells of the one trait that Mario has likely never had: greed.
It is not surprising that the tale begins far away from the boundaries of the Mushroom Kingdom, on an island in the middle of the Great Blooper Sea. On this island, greed was the rule, for this was Kitchen Island, home of the nefarious Black Sugar Pirates. On one particularly nasty day, the captain of this band of thieves received quite the surprise.
"Oh Captain Syrup, we have made an astonishing discovery!" cried out the voice of a short creature, running towards his boss. A tall, gorgeous woman wearing a red bandana and ballooning pants twirled her thick black hair thoughtfully and replied, "Goom-Goom, this better be good – I was not happy at all about that last discovery."
Her short first mate Goom-Goom shook his spear angrily at his captain. "How was I supposed to know that those treasure chests were filled with gunpowder? Anyway, I bet you'll be really pleased with this. The boys down at Stove Canyon dug it up just this morning!" Two of his lackeys ran into the dimly lit room carrying a heavy, golden artifact that gleamed brightly. "We're thinking that it's 24-karats, captain!"
Captain Syrup snatched the object to take a closer look. The shape resembled that of a common lock, but with strange markings on its surface. The strangest part was that instead of the place where the key would go, the number 8 was clearly etched onto the surface.
"So, what do you think, captain? Pretty amazing, isn't it? It kind of makes you want to give me a reward, right?"
"Hush, Goom-Goom, I think I hear something!" Captain Syrup slowly lowered her ear to the golden lock, as if she was listening to its heart beat. "Hmmm, I see … oh, really? No kidding?"
One of the lackeys whispered to Goom-Goom, "Watch out, either Syrup's going insane, or she's going to give you a real verbal thrashing."
"Goom-Goom, do you know what this thing is saying to me?"
The first mate shifted his feet nervously and said no.
"This little beauty is saying that he's going to help me get my revenge!" Captain Syrup broke into evil laughter, while Goom-Goom just stared confused. "Oh, and here is your reward," she said, tossing a handful of doubloons at her happy first mate.
One week later, back in the Mushroom Kingdom, Wario was driving his snazzy purple convertible back to his castle, all the way gabbing on his cell phone. "I've told you one hundred times, Jimmy, I'm not going to put any of your disco themed mini-games into the mix! Also, quit swapping afros during work, it gets really confusing!"
As the "Wariomobile" approached the front door of the castle, Wario was surprised and enraged to find his rival Mario waiting at the door. "I'm going to have to call you back, Jimmy," Wario said as he slammed his phone. "Well, what are you doing at MY castle, Mario?"
"I'm here for the princess, fiend!" The hero proceeded to repeatedly to jump on Wario's head until his body closely resembled a pancake.
"Get off of me, you dumb plumber!" cried Wario as he bent his body back into its usual shape. "I don't even like Peach!"
"Explain this, then!" shouted Mario as he shoved a poorly drawn picture of Wario stealing Princess Peach into his rival's hands.
"This doesn't prove anything!" shouted Wario. At that moment, he heard a feminine voice cackling from inside his castle. He looked up to see Captain Syrup sticking her head out of the window, practically laughing her head off.
"Mario, look up! That annoying pirate woman in my castle probably stole Peach!" Wario paused for a moment, thinking about what he just said. "Wait, there's a pirate in MY castle!" Wario ran to the front door but stopped to see a strange glowing lock with the number 8 on it latched firmly to the handles. "Curse you, Captain Syrup!"
The pirate managed to stop laughing and began her well-prepared evil speech. "That's right, boys! I've kidnapped the princess and have taken your castle, Wario!"
"What have you done with the princess?" Mario demanded.
"She's right in here, comfortably tied up. She really does make a wonderful hostage! By the way, Wario, have you noticed that lock on your door? That happens to be the legendary Greedlock, by the way."
Wario, who was trying to break down the door, sneered. "I've never heard of it."
"It truly is a wonderfully potent item. It won't open until you do its owner's bidding, which happens to be me."
"There's no way I'm doing your dirty work, woman!" snapped Wario.
"Then I guess I get to keep your castle and the Princess!"
Furiously, Wario shouted, "Fine! What do you want, already?"
Captain Syrup laughed evilly and said, "First of all, I want you to team up with Mario to fulfill my requests! I want you to be as miserable as possible, Wario!"
Both Mario and Wario gasped at this first request. Even though the two mustachioed men were no longer mortal enemies, they still hated each other. How could they possibly work together without driving each other crazy? After exchanging long glares, Mario spoke up. "I'll do it for the princess." The red-clothed plumber looked back at Wario, who finally said. "Fine, but you better not get in my way!"
The two uneasy allies turned back to Captain Syrup, who was imagining all the ways she could possible bother Wario and gain from the experience. "Okay, you two, here is my next order." As the captain began to speak, the face of the Greedlock changed from an 8 to a 7.