Author's note: I own nothing here. (Except for the name of the new place)
Mario & Wario: The Greedlock
Chapter 5: Nothing in Egg-cess
"Gold! Pearls! Hair care products! I want it all!" sighed Captain Syrup. "Plus some jewelry would be nice, too."
"I could snatch the Princess's brooch if you really want it," offered her first mate Goom-Goom.
"That's it, I need a brooch! Wait, no, a necklace!" The pirate captain hurried to the second-story window of Wario's stolen castle. Out in the distance, she could clearly see the bright purple Wariomobile heading straight down the road. She saw even clearer the bright red brick heading straight for her face. Quickly jumping out of the way, she dodged both the brick and the sharp shards of glass that sprayed into the room. Captain Syrup didn't take long to notice that a sheet of paper covered in scorch marks was tied firmly to the brick.
"Here's your autograph, now tell us what to do next! The sooner I'm done with this, the better! This shout came from Wario, who was holding another brick menacingly in his fist.
"You do realize you broke your own window, right? Anyway, go get me the most beautiful necklace you can find. It has to be shiny and contain all the colors of the rainbow!"
"Hmm, that sounds like Neon Eggs," pondered Mario.
"What in the world are Neon Eggs?" asked Wario.
"Neon Eggs sound good! Go get them and put them on a necklace!" shouted the captain. The face of the Greedlock changed from a 4 to a 3 as the duo left for lands unknown.
Thus Mario and Wario found themselves on a rowboat in the middle of a rowboat in the Great Blooper Sea. "How you ever talked me into renting a rowboat is beyond me," muttered Wario as he vigorously paddled south.
"You must rememberify that my sensors picked up the location of Bean Fruit on an island in the middle of nowhere," stated Stuffwell the suitcase. "You should also know that Bean Fruit is the progenitor of the Neon Eggs."
"Stop making up all these words, they give me a headache! Everyone knows there is no such word as 'rememberify', or 'progenitor', or 'sensor'," yelled the angry yellow-capped Italian.
"Land ho!" shouted Mario as he pointed to a small island in the distance. Stuffwell, using his special global positioning system technology, searched for information about the island. "This must be Blowhole Island. Apparently, a tribe of Shy Guys dwellinate here, along with their trained Yoshis. Hmm, my records indicate that nobody has ever returned after landing on the island."
"Who cares? I need to eat food!" Wario started paddling at full speed, and in no time at all was hauling the rowboat ashore. Walking into the jungle, they were immediately greeted by a native wearing a painted mask.
"Welcome, visitors, to our home. I am Chief Guy. Before I can allow you to enter our village, I must first see if you are worthy. Step forward, purple-nosed one."
"Hurry up, I haven't eaten in four hours," grumbled Wario.
"A rude visitor, hm?" The short man walked around Wario, inspecting his visage. "You smell strongly of garlic, traveler. You may enter only after you gargle with some water from our nearby spring." Wario did a victory pose, and then proceeded to the spring. "You are next, red-capped one."
Mario politely stepped forward. "Ah, I see a huge problem. We do not allow ridiculous blue shoes on our island." Without warning, Chief Guy whipped out a pointy spear and aimed it directly at Mario's neck. "Remove the shoes now, or pay the consequences." Mario bent down to take off the Super Boots, but the sound of a Jet Ski grabbed his attention.
"Wait just a second, Mario, I'm coming!" cried Toadette as the Jet Ski through the water. Toadette stopped the obviously well-made device so suddenly that she was thrown headfirst into Mario. After scrambling on the ground, Toadette started to catch her breath.
"Your machine has disturbed the peace of our island. If you do not bear a gift or important news, I will have to destroy your mechanical boat," stated Chief Guy solemnly.
"No problem, chief, I just came to give Mario a new pair of shoes!" Toadette held up a red and white striped pair of boots. "I bought these Twister Boots just for you, Mario! See, I told you I would get to tell you about more power-ups! Using a twisting jump on Wario will drive him into the ground! The move is called 'Drill Bros.'. Well, I'll get going now!"
"No, fungus-headed one," spoke Chief Guy. "Since you have committed the great virtue of effectively saving someone's life, I grant you a seat of honor in tonight's festival. As for your friend, he may come in after he changes shoes." Mario donned his new Twister Boots with pride, and then followed the chief into the village.
"Gurglegurglegurgle ptooie!" Wario gargled with some fresh water from the spring, then spit it right back in. "This water is tasty! I wonder if I could bottle and sell it for 30 coins a pop." Wario, with his new fresh scent, started walking to the village, when a mango fell right on his head. "Argh, who did that?" The greedy man looked up to find a monkey screeching at him in glee from an unusual tree. Wario hurled a rock at the pest, missing by thirty feet. This angered the monkey enough to start throwing nasty brown objects that were not fruit straight at Wario.
"Ouch, these coconuts really hurt! That's it; you are going to get it, you cheeky monkey!" Wario grabbed the tree and shook vigorously. Purple fruits fell from the tree as the monkey grabbed tightly onto one of the branches. "Grrr, I'll get you later!"
"Wario, there you are," called Mario as Wario vented his anger. "I need to pound you into the ground with my new power-up so we can gather …" Mario looked at the Bean Fruit covering the ground around Wario. "Never mind, just forget about it."
"Ah, visitors, I see you have gathered Bean Fruit," stated Chief Guy with glee back at the Village. "Tonight happens to be the festival when we feed the Bean Fruit to our Yoshi friends. I insist you come."
"What, we have to wait until night to get the Neon Eggs?" Wario grumbled. Mario slyly gestured towards the Chief's spear, and whispered, "I wouldn't anger him if I were you."
"Coward," Wario muttered to himself.
After a long afternoon of Mario relaxing in a leaf hammock and Wario gobbling mangoes, it was time for the festival. The duo sat among the various Shy Guy tribe members, while Toadette got to sit on a makeshift throne. A tall totem pole decorated with painted masks towered in the center of the village, where various Shy Guys did a vigorous tribal dance. One by one, seven different colored Yoshis were led around the pole, and Mario and Wario watched as they were each fed a Bean Fruit. The Yoshis then simultaneous laid one Neon Egg, one for each color of the rainbow.
"Yes, victory is ours!" shouted Wario. He then noticed Chief Guy carrying a giant frying pan towards the totem pole. "Chief, what are you doing!"
"This is the most important part of the ceremony," explained Chief Guy. "Every year we make a Rainbow Omelet and sacrifice half to the powers-that-be. You are welcome to share the other half with the rest of the tribe."
This time it was Mario that spoke up. "I'm very sorry, chief, but it is very important that we take those Neon Eggs, they are vital to save the princess of my kingdom."
"I cannot allow that. The powers-that-be must be appeased, or they get angry."
"There's no such thing as powers-that-be! Just give me the eggs!" Wario lunged forward, knocking several dancing Shy Guys to the ground. He then grabbed Stuffwell and started to shove the eggs into the soft leather interior."
Chief Guy was trembling with rage. "How dare you two ruin our sacred festival?" The skies around the island started to grow thick with dark clouds. "For this you shall never leave alive!" Lightning cracked in the sky as the daring duo stared down the chief. The other Shy Guys and Toadette were heading for the shelter of the huts.
"Eebity eebity eebity bleeb!" chanted Chief Guy. The two mustachioed men ducked for cover as lightning struck the totem pole. After the flash of light, the short, pudgy figure was replaced by a tall, muscular figure.
Stuffwell's sensors started blaring like mad. "Illogitude, the chief's form has been replaced with that of a Zeus Guy!"
"Hah, is that all?" Wario sneered. "I've beaten way tougher guys than this!" Wario lunged forward with a shoulder barge, only to be blown away by a massive energy ball. "Hey, no fair!"
Mario, meanwhile, was agilely jumping towards the Guy. With a great twister jump, he drilled towards the Chief's head. However, Zeus Guys are masters of martial arts, and he kicked Mario into the totem pole."
"Enough with the fancy stuff, Mario, it's time to get serious!" Wario, thanks to the added strength of his pants, hoisted the entire totem pole out of the ground, and started to swing it like a bat. Chief Guy caught the other end of the bat in mid-swing, and then flung Wario off.
"Wah, he's tough! I'm out of ideas!" cried Wario as the chief stuck the totem pole back into the ground. He then noticed Stuffwell walking towards Chief Guy. "Excuse me, Mr. Power-that-is, perhaps I can offerify a trade."
"No!" boomed the voice of the Zeus Guy. "I need food! I need sacred food! You have no other sacred food than Neon Eggs! Give me Neon Eggs!"
"Will this make your mind changinate?" Stuffwell opened himself up, revealing not the Neon Eggs, but the Whacka Supreme. "No, don't do it!" cried Wario.
"You have other sacred food?" The Zeus Guy grabbed the legendary meal and took a bite. "This is good. I like the good food. The food is a good trade for Neon Eggs. I was bored of omelets every year anyway. You keep Neon Eggs. I will go share food with other powers-that-be." Another flash of lightning covered the area, and the island was once again bathed in sunlight.
"No, he took the whole thing!" cried Wario as he headed towards the now short and pudgy Chief. "Why didn't he leave half?"
"Do not complain, purple-nosed one. You convinced our guardians to let you keep the Neon Eggs, a great feat. Red-capped one, you mentioned that you need the eggs to rescue a princess. You should leave the island right away. I wish you all good luck." Chief Guy waved to the two men as they left the island behind.
"Did I miss anything, chief?" asked Toadette. "I sort of fell asleep in the hut." She then noticed something absolutely horrible. "What, how dare those two take my Jet Ski?" Scrambling into the creaky row boat, Toadette followed the duo as fast as she could into the night sky.