Chapter 7: The Train Ride pt1

Ssiribas said I should mention Hugh Jackman. It is tradition.

Hpdphpdp

Harry and Wade were in the train station. The ticket said to go to platform 9 ¾, but there was no such place. Deadpool walked between the pillars of nine and ten, but he couldn't make hide nor hair of it. Then Harry leaned against the middle pillar to watch him and fell through.

"Found it," he said when he reappeared.

"Yay, now we can go to Hogwarts. I still say that is a cool name," Wade said, handing the trunk to Harry, who shouldered it. "Hog warts, it just rolls off the tongue," he said, not caring who was listening.

"How are you even going to get in? You're not magical," Harry asked, not sure what the guy's plan was. They walked through the pillar and each exclaimed over the red train, "Cool."

"Oh, ye of little faith," Deadpool said, bringing the subject back to his getting in Hogwarts and shrinking down to chibi size.

"I say again, you are not magical. How are you doing that?" the boy said as he led the way on to the really cool train.

"I'm mimicking the comics," was the confusing answer.

"What?" Harry said, putting his trunk on the rack of the first cabin he came to. He wasn't picky. He pulled out his school robes and put them over his nice clothes. He didn't want to get dressed in front of others. Even if it was just putting on a robe.

"Never mind, let's just go with the author thinks it's cute," said the cute chibi. He was dressed in red robes with a hood. His suit was on underneath, but he chose not to wear his mask, yet. His face was hidden as were his swords. He didn't want to put them away, so he just put the robe over them. They'd be difficult to get to, but he was on a train that would be full of kids. What could happen?

"You're going to have to explain that to me one day," Harry said, getting tired of the reference to this author person. It wasn't like his life story was a book.

All over the world people giggled, and Harry felt a disturbance in the force. He looked around and saw nobody, but he couldn't shake the feeling that he was being laughed at.

"Maybe when Fairywm isn't so lazy, sure we can talk," Deadpool said, waving the conversation away.

"You still haven't explained how you're going to get into the school. You don't have an invitation and you're not magical," the boy reiterated, ignoring the statement about some bird named Fairywm. What kind of name is that? He never got a straight answer out of this guy.

"I'll just say that I'm your bodyguard, my little yellow box says that will work. It's a gig I've done before," Wade said still in his chibi form. He was going to stay like that until necessary. He didn't want to scare the kids too much.

"My bodyguard?" the kid asked, tilting his head a bit. "I can take care of myself, you know. You're the one who made sure of that," he added, pointing a finger at his… friend. "Your little yellow box might be wrong."

"Look, I know you did well with the goblins, but you can't fight kids your age with that kind of strength. You're still learning to control that. I, on the other hand, am dashingly handsome and I can control my strength," Deadpool said, preening a bit. He pulled on his mask so there would be no accidental sightings of his face. "And my little yellow box is never wrong." He ignored the fact that he even had a little yellow box, which had in fact been wrong once or twice.

"I'm more handsome than you," Harry protested, in a joking manner. He thought Wade handled his looks really well. He never told him the whole story, but it was a bad one. Harry knew that because Wade talked in his sleep.

"Kid, when you've got a girl as hot as mine, we can talk. Until then, accept that I am more handsome," Wade said, glaring at the kid. Not that Harry knew that, he was still chuckling.

Just then the door opened, and a sandy-haired boy asked, "Have you seen a toad?" His voice was so quiet they almost didn't hear him.

"Can't say that I have," Deadpool said, making the new kid do a doubletake.

"Why are you dressed like that?" the boy asked, his eyes narrowing and blinking many times, like he could not believe what he was seeing.

"It's the latest muggle fashion," Wade said in a neutral tone.

"Are you going to tell everyone that? What if a muggleborn asks?" Harry said exasperated.

"Fine, I was caught in a fire and my face is hideous," Deadpool said, folding his arms like a pendulant child. Why couldn't Harry just go with it? Cockblocker.

"Oh, I'm sorry," the unnamed boy said, coming further into the compartment. "Are you muggleborn?" he asked taking a seat across from them.

"Half," Harry said with a great deal of pride.

"Nil," was Deadpool's answer, which confused the boy.

"I'm Harry Potter, my friend is Wade," Harry said, trying to get a conversation going. He really didn't know anyone his age. Dudley didn't count, especially since he was the reason Harry had no friends. He did wonder if his uncle was dead or alive and he wasn't sure which he preferred.

"Neville Longbottom," the boy said, still looking at the strange kid. He didn't even look twice at Harry, which was fine by the Boy-Who-Lived.

"Longbottom? What a cool name," Deadpool said, shaking the boy's hand.

"I guess," Neville said, still staring.

"I like it too," Harry said, bringing the boy's attention to him.

"Wait, did you say Potter?" Neville said, looking thoughtfully at Harry.

Harry sighed, and slumped. He nodded and lifted his hand in a 'go ahead' gesture.

"You don't look anything like your pictures," Neville said, peering closely at Harry. "I see your scar, but it's faint and you're bigger, and you have no glasses," he pointed out, gesturing to Harry like he was expecting him to transform.

"I had a bit of help," was Harry's explanation. "Wade here helped me. That's why he's here, to continue helping me," he said, pointing to the pouting chibi man.

"That's right," Deadpool said, perking up. "I'm all sorts of helpful," he boasted, puffing out his chest in a prideful manner. "Like I can help you by saying, dude, lose the toad," he said seriously.

"But my uncle…" the new boy tried, only to be cut off by Wade.

"If your uncle is anything like Harry's, then he meant it as an insult," Wade said, seeing the boy was painfully shy, probably from emotional abuse. "Take it as one and lose the toad."

"I'm not sure I can do that to an innocent animal," Neville said, thinking hard on it. He nodded his head and said, "I'll go and find him, but set him free when we get to Hogwarts. I hear there's a lake, he should like that." With that decided he left to further his search.

"He seems like a good chap," Harry commented when the boy had gone. "Do you really think they will buy the bodyguard bit?" he asked his companion.

"I don't care what they buy. I'm going to be at your school one way or another," Deadpool said, leaning his head back like he was going to take a nap. "Wake me if something interesting happens. Like Hugh Jackman showing up. Now that man's a hottie." And with that, he fell asleep.

"Who the hell is Hugh Jackman?" Harry muttered, shaking his head at the man sleeping beside him. He then took out Hogwarts: A History and started reading. He had read the book front to back already, but he did enjoy skimming some of the more interesting stories.

He was five minutes into his reading when the train started to move. He looked to Deadpool but saw he was still sleeping. Or so he guessed, he couldn't see his face, but he was breathing deeply.

There was a noise at the door, and it opened up to a freckled redheaded boy.

"Can I sit here? Everywhere else is full," the boy asked, already dragging his trunk in and sitting down. He pushed the trunk under the seat.

"Sure, just don't wake up Wade," Harry said, turning back to his reading.

Just then Deadpool mumbled something about Wolverine and was complaining that whoever that was wasn't any fun. "You cockblocking son of a bitch, let me have my fun," he muttered, turning over to face Harry.

"Don't mind him. He's just dreaming," Harry said, jerking his head at his friend's sleeping form.

"Oh," was all the redhead said, looking at the bizarrely dressed boy. "Why is he dressed like that?"

"It's the latest muggle fashion," Harry said, not seeing Wade smirk in his sleep.

"Muggles are weird," the boy said, his eyes still firmly on the costumed boy.

Just then a girl with bushy hair and buckteeth came by and asked about Neville's toad.

"Nope, still haven't seen it. Did you try the loos?" Harry asked, closing his book, and placing it in his lap. He was never going to get quiet, and those seconds were precious to him ever since Wade came into his life.

"No, but that is certainly a good idea," she said, looking at the title of his book. "Hogwarts: A History," she said, excitedly. So far, she hadn't found anyone who had read it. "I love that book."

"I do too," Harry said, squeezing over to let her sit by him. Wade mumbled some more but ignored them. He patted the seat, but she shook her head.

"I have to help Neville. I promised," she said, looking down the hall to see the boy in question knocking on another door. "You could help too," she said, looking back at Harry.

"I can't leave Wade by himself," Harry said, with a sad shake of his head. "Therein lies badness."

"Who is Wade?" she asked, looking between the two other boys in the compartment.

"Not me, I'm Ron Weasley," the redhead said, pointing to the sleeping boy.

"Why is he dressed like that?" the still unnamed girl asked, peering at the costumed kid.

"He likes that costume," Harry tried, knowing this girl was muggleborn because she was just too excited about magic.

"Strange boy," the girl muttered, then straighten up and said, "I'm Hermione Granger." She stuck out her hand for Harry to shake.

Harry stood and got a firm grip, because he was still working on his strength, and shook it. "I'm Harry Potter," he introduced himself.

"Nice grip," Hermione complimented/complained. It was a good grip, just tight. "I've read about you," she said, looking him up and down and finding he looked nothing like she had read. She almost said more but…

"Isn't it? He's working on it," Deadpool said, finally deciding to get up. "Who's this?" he asked, pointing to the two new kids.

"That's Ron, and this is Hermione," Harry said, indicating each. "Guys, this is Wade Wilson."

"Pleasure," Hermione said, still looking at him like he was weird. "Nice costume," she said tentatively.

"Thanks, it hides my ugly face," Wade said, sitting up and stretching. "She's going to be a looker when she grows into those teeth," he told Harry, making Hermione's jaw drop.

"I beg your pardon," she said aghast. She wasn't sure if she was just offended or not.

"Begging isn't good for the soul," Deadpool stated with a sage nod.

"Are you ever serious?" Hermione asked, looking to see how Ron was reacting. He was just staring at Harry.

"No, that's Harry's godfather," was the strange comeback. "I really should get him out of jail," he muttered to the fourth wall, like he was telling the author to get on it. She shrugged and went on typing.

"I have a godfather?" Harry asked, wondering if Wade was just making it up.

"Yeah, though I'm not sure how I know about him," Deadpool said, looking at the ceiling like it had the answer. Then he shrugged and went with it. "I'll see about setting up a meeting," he said to Harry. If he couldn't prove him innocent, then he could break him out of prison.

"Huh," was all Harry said, then he turned to Hermione, "You are welcome to come back when you and Neville have found the toad," he offered, and quickly added, "Neville too."

"I'll tell him," she said, and all but skipped out of the room.

"Nice skipping," Deadpool said, getting up and skipping out of the door, only to skip back in a moment later. "What? I like skipping."

"Are you barmy?" Ron asked, looking at Wade like he was crazy.

"Yes, yes I am," the chibi man said, completely serious.

"He is," Harry agreed, nodding sagely.

"Oh," was all Ron could say to that. What else could he say? "So, you're Harry Potter? Can I see your scar?" he asked, in a desperate need to change the subject.

Harry and Wade looked at one another and shrugged. Harry lifted his bangs and showed the much-diminished scar.

"Oh, I thought it'd be bigger," Ron said, slumping back in his seat disappointed.

"Well, I'm not going to apologize for it being smaller. I prefer it that way," Harry huffed, folding his arms over his chest.

"No, I mean, the books…" Ron said, only for Wade to cut him off.

"Are bullshit," Deadpool finished, making a slashing motion with his hands. "Those pieces of tripe need to be burned. And I am against book burning."

"I agree," Harry said, also against book burning.

"We found him," Hermione said as she came into the compartment. Neville followed right behind her.

"Where?" Harry wanted to know if he was correct.

"In the boys' loo," Neville said with a smug grin.

"Yes, I was correct," Harry cheered, getting up from his seat and doing a victory dance. Everyone looked at him like he was nuts. "Sorry, I've been hanging around Wade too much," he said, embarrassed. He sat back down.

Wade clapped him on the back and said, "Nice dance. Never be ashamed of showing emotions."

"I guess," Harry said, knowing they were the right words, but he couldn't shake off public opinion like Deadpool could. Then again, if he was going to be a hero, he'd better get used to bad press.

"That 'a boy," Deadpool said, clapping him on the back again. "So, what games can we play?" he asked the other three.