Hello there darlings!
I'm baaaaack! And with a new chapter just for you ;)
I'm very thankful to all of you who sent me your positive energies and I gotta say...they worked! I got a job (as I said on my Prompt fic) on February 1st and I'm learning lots. This is allowing me to keep my family afloat and I'm a bit more relaxed now, so thank you very, very much.
I've just updated the Pinterest board and I'm hoping you like all the little pictures I've gathered there. Remember you can get the link on my profile page.
To those of you who are reading The Otter and the Firefighter, I promise I'll start back on that as soon as I can, the new job keeps me very busy. (Which is good right?)
I want to shout a huge thanks to JHsg82, who helps me tons with proofreading, brainstorming and outlining my ideas. Without her I don't know where this story will be. And if you haven't read her, what are you waiting for? Her fics are simply delicious. Thank you, boo!
Also, to daphne's storm for her beautiful words, same as Asanzu, who wrote me in Spanish! ¡Gracias!
Without further ado, here's the new chapter!
Previously on Part of Me: Jan Di and F4 had a talk and it was decided she would stay for one more week in the city while they each take a day to spend with her. Jae Kyung is also participating with Sun Mi. Ji Min is happy he'll get to spend more time with his new found uncles and noonas. Sun Mi tries to find out a bit more about Jan Di and Woo Bin reasures her. Ji Hoo is going to take Jan Di back to her lodging.
Jan Di watched as Ji Min kept throwing riddle after riddle at Ji Hoo. Of course, they were really simple for an seven year old, but each time Ji Hoo made sure to ponder for a few seconds or even surrender and tell Ji Min he didn't know the answer.
"Okay, so there are three apples, and you take away two. How many apples do you have?"
Ji Hoo seemed to think about it for a bit and then answered, "Two."
"You're the first person besides my mom who guessed right!" Ji Min excitedly exclaimed
"Really?"
"Yeah, and you've given me the correct answers for almost all of my most difficult riddles, so you're also very smart."
"Why, thank you. I'll have to do more research on riddles from now on, so that I'm prepared for next time." Ji Min just laughed and asked his mom if he could eat some crackers.
"Just one, you still need to have dinner," Jan Di answered, and Ji Min didn't wait.
"We're almost there," Ji Hoo told her after a bit.
"We are? That was quick."
"Not much traffic at this hour."
"Plus, with a riddle marathon, time flew by. Thank you for indulging him; everyone back home already knows all his riddles, so he doesn't play it as often anymore," she said in a hushed tone.
"It's okay. Ji Min is really bright for his age. Not that I know that much about kids, but you can actually carry on a conversation with him."
"Yeah," Jan Di answered, a bit sad, "That's my fault. He's been around adults since he was born, and I didn't have much time to plan play-dates, so he always ended up coming with me to my jobs."
"That must have been hard," Ji Hoo told her as he imagined how hard it really must have been for her, and he asked himself again why Jan Di didn't think of contacting him or any of the F4. He knew she probably didn't want to say she got pregnant, but still, he was her friend first; Ji Hoo was sure he wouldn't have judged her.
"It was, but when he started going to school it got much easier, and he had the chance to be around kids his own age. In a way, I think I haven't let Ji Min enjoy his childhood as much as he should have…" Jan Di finished with a sad look.
School was 15 minutes away from her house and not all the kids who attended it were close to her home. Besides, most mothers in the area had the same problem she had: they needed to work. Even if the father worked too, sometimes their family had two or three children, so they couldn't afford to stay at home and take care of them.
Ji Hoo, for once, didn't know what to tell her, how to comfort her. Jan Di was on a whole different level now. She was a mother.
"Omma, I think we're here."
Jan Di snapped out of her thoughts and looked at Ji Min. "We are, baby. Come on, let's go."
"Hyung-nim, come with me!" Ji Min told Ji Hoo as they got out of the car.
"He can't right now, Ji Min, but I promise you can play more tomorrow." Ji Hoo nodded at Jan Di's explanation. "Your other uncles will want to play with you, too, so you're going to have heaps of fun."
"I can't wait for tomorrow!" He yelled while raising his arms.
"That's good." She chuckled. "Now, say goodnight to Ji Hoo and go find Chul Moo. I already texted him."
Ji Min ran to Ji Hoo's legs and wrapped them in a tight hug. "Good night, Hyung-nim! I'm happy you found my mama today. I got to know two pretty noonas and three new uncles!"
Ji Hoo just laughed at Ji Min's description of the day and ruffled his hair a bit. "That's okay, I'm happy I found your mom too and that I got to know you."
Ji Min grinned at him and then went running back to the lodging.
"He'll find Chul Moo soon." Jan Di turned to him, "Ji Hoo, I just wanted to thank you. I know I couldn't give you guys many details about what happened, and you still welcomed me again with open arms. I probably would have waited to see them, but you gave me that push, so...thank you."
"Think nothing of it. You're F4's honorary member, don't forget that." He gently smiled at her.
"I won't." She smiled back. "I should probably go now. I'll see you tomorrow; although, I still don't know how."
"Don't worry, just get your things ready, and we'll take care of it."
She laughed at this. "Okay then, good night."
"Good night."
Jan Di turned around and started walking to the lodging. In that same second, Ji Hoo felt something inside him, an old instinct resurfacing and telling him something was going on with the woman walking away from him. He knew this; he used to joke about it and call it the 'Jan Di alarm', but it had been dormant for so long that he didn't know if he could fully trust it again.
Should he?
He took a chance.
"Geum Jan Di." He called to her.
Jan Di turned her head and found that Ji Hoo was still standing in front of his car, only now he had his arms slightly open.
She didn't think about it; she just rushed to him, and for the second time that day, she let herself be wrapped in his arms.
There was so much she wanted to tell him, to apologize for disappearing, for leaving behind just a note, for not contacting him earlier, for not telling him about...so many things.
"I'm sorry," was all she could say. But Ji Hoo seemed to understand because she felt him squeeze her a bit tighter before reassuring her with a simple phrase.
"It's okay." That was enough.
There they stood, holding each other near. Ji Hoo's hand went to her hair and stroked it as he used to when she was feeling distressed. Jan Di couldn't help but think that this felt like before, as if they had seen each other just yesterday instead of eight years ago. She remembered Ji Hoo's touch and the feel of him, how he could make everything seem right almost immediately. And even though she felt a bit guilty for taking advantage of his kindness, she still clung to him with all she had.
Ji Hoo, on his part, allowed himself to be lost in Jan Di's warmth. For someone else it would probably seem ridiculous, but she truly had this ability to make the cold stop. With just the right amount of pressure, none of the hugs he had received would ever compare.
They both thought that something as simple as a hug could be truly amazing. It connected you to the other person, allowing you to share your heartbeat and warmth just by opening your arms and welcoming them in…
After a few minutes, they started to slowly let go. Jan Di quickly wiped the unspilled tears from her eyes before facing Ji Hoo again. They didn't say anything. He waved goodbye; she laughed; he laughed; she waved back, and this time she really went back to the lodging.
She greeted the old woman at the desk and received a knowing smile in return.
"Your friend came by looking for you, but after seeing you outside, he went right back to his room."
"Thank you very much."
So Chul Moo had come out to look for her; she felt a bit embarrassed but decided to let it go, for she hadn't done anything bad.
Jan Di took out her key and went to unlock her room first. Then she knocked on Chul Moo's door twice before going in. There, she found Ji Min moving his arms around while he told Chul Moo about his day.
"...and then you clap here, I think. I can't remember the last part very well, but I'll ask Uncle Woo Bin and Uncle Yi Jung tomorrow!"
"Ji Min-ah," Jan Di called to her son, "Go wash your hands and change your jacket; we need to go find dinner."
"Okay!" Ji Min sprinted to the next room.
"So…," Chul Moo started.
"Yeah, I guess Ji MIn spilled the beans. We're staying for another week."
"We're supposed to leave tomorrow, and the tickets are non-refundable," Chul Moo tried to reason.
"That's no problem. They got me covered."
He was baffled.
Chul Moo had known Jan Di almost since she first set foot on the island and instantly liked her. Of course, there was the issue of her pregnancy...he had tried to find out who the father was, but Jan Di wouldn't relent. She would just say that it was her fault, and she didn't want to drag anyone else with her because of it.
And so he stood by her side; he met her family, and he helped her in whatever way he could. He even once got her a better job than the fish market, and with that, Jan Di started to get better employments, too. Although, in their area, that would mean a restaurant cashier or something like that.
Still, Chul Moo couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"In all the time I've known you, it's been a struggle to get you to accept anything, especially money. So, hearing you say 'they got me covered' so casually is a little surprising for me."
"Oh come on, it's not always like that."
"Yes, it is," he countered, "even when I tried to give you just a little bit of extra cash to get you by until payday after Ji Min got sick and needed medicine, you said you could handle it and flatly refused. So, what makes these people so different that you can accept their help without a second thought?"
Jan Di cringed a little bit. She knew he was right, but the circumstances this time were entirely different.
"I am sorry about that; I did appreciate the help you were trying to give me, but you have your mother to think about, so I couldn't just accept that money." She tried to explain to her friend. Chu Moo started to say something but was interrupted by a knock on the door.
He quickly went to it and opened it.
"It's Ji Min," he told Jan Di. She found it odd as she had told her son to wait for her, and it hadn't even been two minutes.
"What's wrong, baby?"
"There are some people looking for you." Jan Di went out into the hallway and saw two luxury rolling carts covered with a crisp, white mantel and several dishes on it.
"Miss Geum Jan Di?" One of the men asked.
"Yes?"
"This was sent for you." He handed her a blank, white envelope. She already knew who had sent it, so she opened the flap. As soon as did, she saw red.
Jan Di actually chuckled when she found herself staring down at an F4 red card. It had the same ominous gold skull and the words 'F4' under it. She turned it around and read.
You just got an F4 red card! But don't worry, only good things will happen this time.
She didn't recognize the penmanship, but it was probably Yi Jung's or Woo Bin's idea.
"Was that a skull? What's going on?" Chul Moo had peeked at what she got and sounded a bit upset. Jan Di just handed the card to him before opening the door for the men with the carts.
"Thank you very much," she told them.
"It is our pleasure, Miss. Oh, just one more thing." Jan Di watched as the older man clapped his hands, and from the front desk came another guy with a huge bouquet for her. It was an arrangement of white and peach roses.
The older man bowed once more and finally left with the rest of his assistants.
"Omma! Look at all this food!" And Jan Di went inside her room and placed her arrangement on the bedside table while looking at her dinner.
They had an assortment of different things. Jan Di saw some bulgogi, dumpling soup and goldongban. But she really couldn't recognize everything.
Some of the dishes were grilled brisket with spicy stir-fried baby octopus, roasted sirloin and ox bone broth soybean soup with Chinese cabbage. Of course, there were some international dishes such as ceviche, paella, tacos and the desserts were also present. From chocolate cake to cream-filled strawberry tart, although Jan Di was dying to try some of the green tea ice cream.
"Can I eat this, Omma?" Ji Min was positively salivating.
"Yes, you can. But leave the desserts for last!" She warned him, but there was no need; he was going for the most robust dishes. After all, he had eaten a lot that day but only sweets or candies after the meal at the fast-food restaurant, so Jan Di knew her little man was ravenous.
"Do you want to join us?" Jan Di asked Chul Moo, inviting him in. She closed the door after him, and he still held the red card in his hands.
"What's this? An F4 red card? Are they playing as the F4 or something?"
"Well…"
"Oh, you're not telling me they are the F4, right?" Jan Di just looked away. "You know the F4!?"
Jan Di sighed, and by the look her friend was giving her, she knew she needed to give him some kind of explanation.
"We went to one year of high-school together."
"You studied at Shinhwa High School?!"
"Yes! Chul Moo keep your voice down!" She harshly whispered, giving a look to her son. Thankfully, he was still happily eating. "I got a scholarship and had the chance to attend Shinhwa High School. While there, I met the F4, and we became friends."
"Hold on, so that guy from today, the one you were hugging just now, that was the Yoon Ji Hoo?" Chul Moo had only heard Jan Di mention his name once, but he didn't think he had been in front of one of the F4 members.
"You saw that." It wasn't a question.
"Yes, I did. When Ji Min came telling me you were outside, I thought you probably needed help with something."
"Yeah, well, Ji Hoo is an old friend, and…I was just saying good night." Jan Di felt silly giving excuses for why she was hugging Ji Hoo. "Why don't we eat? Food must be getting cold."
"So, that's why you're staying? Because the F4 asked you too?" Chul Moo pressed.
"Okay, that was too much. I'm staying because my friends asked me to, and it really didn't matter if I said no; they wanted me to stay. And before you ask, no, they didn't force me, I too want to stay. Chul Moo, I haven't seen them in almost eight years. I've missed them. You remember when I told you about the friends I left behind in the city? Well, the F4 and Ga Eul are those friends. I still haven't had a chance to let Ga Eul know I'm here, but I will tomorrow." Jan Di hadn't forgotten her best friend and was going to ask Ji Hoo the next day to help her with that.
"I'm sorry...It's just that, I don't know, you're different. I've never seen this side of you."
Jan Di thought about it, and Chul Moo was right. In a way, she felt 18 again. Seeing her friends was like making a time jump of sorts, but she liked it.
"Perhaps I am, but I'm still me; this is just who I used to be here." She told him with a smile.
Chul Moo just sighed, knowing he wasn't going to win this argument. He just shook his head and gently pushed her to the food.
The two of them had just started eating when there was a knock at the door.
"Again?" Chul Moo asked.
"I'll get it!" Ji Min ran to the door. Jan Di watched as he asked who it was, and a voice came saying, "Delivery for Geum Jan Di."
She told Ji Min to open the door, and a young man came in with a large box. "Please sign here," he asked her, and she did.
"What's that, Omma?" Ji Min wanted to see.
"I don't know, but let's open it together," Jan Di offered.
Inside the large box were two more, a small-sized one and a middle-sized one. The latter had a note that made Jan Di smile.
Ji Min, my man, you'll need this for tomorrow. -Song Woo Bin
"Is this for me?" he excitedly asked.
"It appears to be, open it." Inside, there was a pair of Nike sneakers that made Ji Min open his mouth in surprise.
"These look so cool, Mom! Can I try them on?"
"You sure can." How Woo Bin managed to get her son's shoe size, she'd never know, but nothing surprised her when it came toF4.
The smaller box contained a high-brand, last generation smart phone with a cute, white case. It depicted a fully charged battery with the words 'FIGHTING full of energy.'
"Oh my God, Woo Bin." She opened it, and of course, all F4 numbers were there and Jae Kyung's. There was also a new LINE message.
Hello, little sister. Do you like your new cell phone? I hope so. We'll pick you up at 10:00 am. -WB.
"Chul Moo Hyung, look at my new sneakers!" Ji Min was clearly thrilled with his gift.
"They're nice," Chul Moo said. He suddenly wasn't hungry anymore.
"Let me see them, Ji Min." Jan Di knew these items were way too expensive, but she couldn't feel annoyed at the gifts. They actually made her think her usual phrase 'Stupid rich kids', but this time, with lots of love.
She couldn't convince Ji MIn to take off his new shoes, so she just let him be; it wasn't as if they would get dirty inside her room, so why not?
Chul Moo appeared to be full and was just drinking some water. Jan Di just shrugged and returned to her dinner.
Ten minutes later, there was another knock at the door. This time, Jan Di went with her son to open the door. It was a second delivery, but this time the box read the words 'FRAGILE' in big bold red letters.
Now what? She thought, amused.
Inside were, again, two boxes, a tall one and a small one, this time with just one message.
Jan Di, I made these with my own hands. I hope you like them. I'm sorry that I don't have the time to prepare something better, but we'll remedy that on our day. ~Yi Jung
"What is it this time, Omma?" Ji Min wanted to quickly open the boxes.
"Just wait a second, love. These are fragile, so they can break easily. I'll help you open them" Jan Di went first for the smallest box with her son's name scribbled on top. Inside, there were two mugs, a yellow one and a green one. They mimicked the appearance of embroidered fabric and buttons.
Ji Min didn't know much about art, but after his mom explained to him that this was handmade, he was really impressed; he held his new mug really carefully and went to put it on his bed to admire it better.
Jan Di let him be and was glad to see Yi Jung had sent them matching mugs. She put it on her bedside table next to the flower arrangement and went to open the second box, only to be, once again, surprised by such a gift.
She literally had no words when she examined a beautifully detailed and intricate, patterned vase. But it wasn't only your typical vase, this one had a fierce dragon twisting around it, squeezing the life out of the vase. Jan Di observed the shine and the bluish paint on the dragon scales, eyes, claws, and fangs. This truly was a work of art, worthy of a museum.
"That looks scary," Ji Min told her after he saw the gift.
"Perhaps. But, did you know that in the Asian culture, dragons are venerated creatures. It was believed they could change the flow of the rivers and help the crops grow so that people could feed their families."
Ji Min opened his mouth in a little 'O' while he listened to his mother's explanation. "That looks pretty difficult to make, Omma. How did Uncle Yi Jung do it?"
"Well, you know how you are very good at adding numbers?" Ji Min nodded; he really liked math. "In the same way, Yi Jung is very good at making things with his hands. He practiced lots since he was young, and now he can make really beautiful things like this."
"I'll keep practicing math, too, " he assured Jan Di, and she laughed.
This time, she put the vase back in its box; there wasn't enough space in the room, and she didn't want to risk an accident. She did leave the mugs out, though, because Ji Min wanted to drink his juice in it.
She returned to the food once more, this time indulging in some exotic foreign side dishes. Jan Di had just finished off some tacos when there was a third knock at the door.
"Am I right to assume there are going to be four deliveries tonight?" Chul Moo asked Jan Di as she went to answer once more.
"I would say you're right, yes. F4 is nothing without their theatrics," she told him.
Jan Di received a gift from Jun Pyo and Jae Kyung this time. For her, there was a beautiful Miss Dior gift set, with a Miss Dior bracelet.
Jun wouldn't know what to gift a woman if his life depended on it, so he left it to me, but don't worry, he chose Ji MIn's gift, hope you like it! -Hugs, Jae Kyung.
She smiled at the note and tried a little bit of the perfume on her wrist; it smelled wonderful. Jan Di didn't use perfume on a daily basis, but she thought no woman would be able to resist such a floral and delicate aroma. She put away the cute little box and turned to Ji Min, who was opening his gift next to Chul Moo, and just as she was about to ask him what he got, Ji Min exploded…
"WATER GUNS!" The little boy couldn't contain his excitement at the Nerf Super Soaker Freezefire Blaster and the Exsport 2 Pack Water Squirt Gun. "Mom, I wanna try them, I wanna try them!"
Jan Di looked at the note while rolling her eyes.
I hope he likes it. Because I wouldn't swim as a kid, I had lots of fun with water guns. -The Great Jun Pyo.
"I'm sorry, Ji Min, but I have to say no to this. You're gonna get the room and yourself soaked. I'm sure that if they have given them to you they're planning on making use of them soon, so please put them away for now."
"But Mom…!" This was an uphill battle. Ji Min really wanted to try his guns, and Jan Di knew he wouldn't stop once he started.
Mother and son started arguing, and not even Jan Di's stern 'mom voice' seemed to deter Ji Min. Chul Moo just stared at them without intervening; he was still shocked at the lavish gifts his friend kept on getting. What amazed him even more was that they were also sending gifts to Ji Min, and even if the kid knew the value of money and lived as comfortably as he could under his mother's financial situation, he could see that Ji Min was immensely enjoying his presents.
"I better go," Chul Moo said, causing a temporary cease to the fight. Ji Min had been dangerously inching closer to the bathroom, and Jan Di was checking all her options to sprint forward and close the door.
"But you almost didn't eat, Hyung." Ji Min complained, forgetting about his water gun for a bit, long enough for Jan Di to snatch it away.
"I promise I'll give it to you tomorrow, okay?" Jan Di said in response to her son's sad look and pout. "Ji Min's right; you've barely eaten."
"The food is way too fancy, and I think I've upset my stomach, sorry. But thank you for the invitation. I'll see you guys tomorrow?" He said his goodbye to Ji Min and walked to the door with Jan Di. "Listen, I know you're happy about your friends and seeing them again after so long, but just...sleep on it, okay? Perhaps after a good night's rest you'll see things differently."
Jan Di knew she wasn't going to change her mind but preferred not to tell him that. "I will sleep on it; I promise. Good night." Chul Moo closed the door only to find a fourth delivery man with his hand held up as if he was about to knock.
"I'm sorry, maybe I have the wrong room. Miss Geum Jan Di?" He hesitantly asked.
"She's here." Chul Moo walked to his room but not before watching a huge cart, with what seemed to be a luxury luggage set, being wheeled in. He just turned around, sighed, and went to his room.
Jan Di thanked the man and went to the cases to admire how pretty they were, but when she tried to turn one of the trolleys, she noticed it was heavy.
Curious, she went to open them. Ji Min, by now, was eating one amazing chocolate cake, and after seeing there wasn't anything for him, he decided to attack the desserts. Jan Di noticed a small envelope on top of one of them. It had the keys, the lock combination, and another message.
We figured you would need more bags and a change of clothes. Hope you like them. -Ji Hoo and Sun Mi.
She had to smile at this; of course, Ji Hoo would be the one to think about the most practical gift, and as far as she could see, his girlfriend had been cast from the same mold. She put the key in, turned it around, took out the lock, and unzipped the bag.
"Oh, this is just way too much..." Inside there were winter clothes for her: A jacket, several jeans, cute socks, cardigans and hats.
She loved all of it but was still touched by so much kindness. She closed that bag and went to the other, and here, she could barely contain her tears.
Jan Di had done her best; she really had, but she could only provide the basics for her son, and now, here before her, there were several changes of winter clothes for Ji Min. There were some classic shirts, but there were also clothes with funny characters and bright colors, just perfect for an seven year old boy.
"Ji Min, love? Look, Ji Hoo sent you something"
"Hyung-Nim? Really?" His eyes brightened up.
"Wipe your hands so you can come see." Ji Min did as told and went rushing to his mother.
"Mom, these are like the coolest clothes I've ever seen!" Jan Di knew her son didn't mean anything by it, but she still felt a sad pang in her heart. "I'm gonna look like those kids on TV!"
"You sure will, honey. Why don't you choose what you would like to wear for tomorrow?"
"Yes! Help me, too, Mom." And with that one phrase, Jan Di's heart swelled back to its normal size.
In his room, Chul Moo couldn't help but pace around, thinking about everything that transpired that day. First, there was the encounter of Jan Di and Yoon Ji Hoo, then her leaving with Ji Min for hours, only to come back and tell him she was going to stay a week.
And let's not forget that hug I saw. No, wait, hugs. Two of them. What was that?
It had been a while since Chul Moo felt the urge to smoke, but he thought this situation justified at least one stick. He grabbed his jacket, some money, his keys and went out; he stopped for a second in front of Jan Di's door but then kept going.
He found a store, bought a package of cigarettes, lit one up, and started a slow walk back to the lodging.
Chul Moo was smoking his second cigarette that night when he noticed a van parking in front of him. Out came another delivery guy who nodded when he noticed him; Chul Moo nodded back.
The guy opened up the side door and came out with a long, beautiful vase. It had a white bow around it and a single, large sunflower.
Those are Jan Di's favorite.
Chul Moo had been calming down, but once the guy went it, he suddenly felt restless again. That gift could only be for Jan Di, but she had told him there were only going to be four deliveries; besides, this one had come way later than the first four. Each of them had come in a span of 10 or 15 minutes between them, but this was more than half an hour later.
Who had sent that flower?
Ji Min was peacefully sleeping, and Jan Di was observing her son.
After deciding what he would wear the next day, she asked him to brush his teeth and put on his pajamas. He did so a little sad, claiming he wasn't tired, but as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was out cold. Jan Di just smiled.
She started to organize her things a little bit, putting away the food as best she could; after all, there were two carts of it. She had started to prepare her toiletries for a much needed bath when someone knocked at her door again.
Jan Di found it strange but tied her robe and went to get it.
When she opened the door, there was no one there, but just as she was about to go inside again, she noticed a beautiful sunflower on her doorstep. It was inside an even more beautiful vase with a white bow around it.
She picked it up, looked again down the hall but saw no one, and went in.
Leaving the vase on the table, she took out a small card next to the flower. She had a very good idea of who had sent it but thought that it was also a long shot.
I told him so long ago. Did he really remember it?
Sure enough, when she opened the card there was a penmanship she recognized; it was the same as the last gift she got, and when Jan Di read, she had a hard time stifling a laugh.
I still say you cheated.
"Ji Hoo-ah."
She had once told him sunflowers were her favorite. Perhaps they weren't as famous or sought after as roses, but she felt the sunflower was a happy flower, so she liked it. But Jan Di didn't think he would have remembered after all those years.
Something warm pooled in her eyes, and she finally let the tears she had wiped earlier escape.
The difference this time was that she didn't feel her chest tight with worry or guilt but with something else entirely different.
Once again, she turned to look at her son, at his chestnut hair and cute nose, at his small but full lips. She knew every mother thought of their children as perfect, but Jan Di was different. Ji Min was just who he was, a loving, caring, honest young boy. He was far from being perfect, and that's exactly why Jan Di loved him so much. If he wasn't good at something, he tried a couple of times to see if he could improve, but if after a while he couldn't, he sought help or simply accepted that it was something he couldn't do right now.
While taking her shower, she thought about how she had had the second major scare of her life when Ji Min went missing earlier that day. The first one had been, of course, when she found out she was pregnant.
She had been sure there wasn't any risk at all when her monthly came; it was a bit light but came either way. How was she to know what an implantation bleeding was? She shouldn't have been dealing with this at 18 years old; she also shouldn't have had sex without thinking of the consequences, but she did.
Just remembering the face of her parents, more specifically her mother, when she told them she was pregnant made her heart ache. She had seen the disappointment on their faces, the fury when she refused to tell them who the father was, and despite her mother's promise to drag her to the school to find out, Jan Di didn't give in. She just knew that as soon as her mother found out, she would be much less angry and much more ecstatic, him being a rich heir and all, so Jan Di sealed her lips and bit her tongue; she wouldn't tell them, not even if hell froze over.
As luck would have it, her dad also got an announcement that night. He had accumulated a huge debt and there was no way they could stay in the city any longer; loan sharks were after him. His gambling habits were a true issue, and he would surely be kicked out by his company when they found out. Her family needed to flee to her father's brother's town on a faraway island to try and make some money to slowly repay his obligations.
The news almost gave her mother a heart attack. Luckily, Kang San was sleeping.
Jan Di thought she had cried enough when she found out she was pregnant, but listening to her mother go on and on about how she could have done that to her family and to herself, made her burst into tears for the whole night.
When she was finally allowed to go to her room, she locked the door behind her and sat on her bed. She rummaged under her pillow and came out with the pregnancy stick. She stared at it harder than she'd ever stared at anything, sadly chuckling and trembling at how those two lines would drastically change her life, and it was then that her phone rang. Barely tearing her eyes away from the stick to look at the phone on the bed, she noticed it was Ji Hoo. Of course he would call at a moment like that. He was her firefighter, after all. But she couldn't talk to him right then; he would know something was wrong and want to come over or take her somewhere to talk, and she wasn't ready to talk about it. She took out her phone battery and tossed it somewhere in her room.
That small action was the start of her new life. Never had she thought she would have to leave her friends behind without a word, only to go to a forgotten place on the map to try to learn how to be a mother. It didn't seem real; she kept telling herself those kind of things only happened on dramas or after-school specials, but each time she woke up she was reminded it wasn't a dream. The most undeniable evidence was her large belly, where she could feel the weight of the little life growing inside of her.
Which brought her back to this afternoon. She sighed heavily, remembering how helpless she had felt, how utterly useless as she ran around to different streets but found nothing, no sign of that little life that wasn't so little anymore, of her little prince and sunshine. When Chul Moo called saying he had found Ji Min, Jan Di felt the numbness in her body finally recede, and when she hugged her son, her soul came back of her body. Of course, when she saw that Ji Hoo was the one to find Ji Min, the numbness somehow came back.
Jan Di dried her hair as best she could and called her mother. Their relationship had mended over the years, and even though she still held hopes of one day winning the lottery and living an easy life, she didn't mention it as often. Her mother was surprised by her stay in the city but felt it was okay if her Shinhwa friends were the ones who asked her to. Jan Di promised to keep in touch, sent love to her brother and father, and hung up.
With a last kiss to her son's head, she finally slipped into her bed and closed her eyes. Her mind ran wild for a few minutes; after all, she was going to spend a whole day with F4 tomorrow. More questions were likely to arise, and she promised herself to answer them as best she could.
Jan Di thought about her gifts and the kindness the guys had shown her and finally, fell profoundly asleep.
So? Did you like? I hope you did! Please remember that reviews are love! I can't say enough how happy I felt when I receive your thoughts and feelings about what I write. Thank you all!
Coming up in Part of Me: Jan Di's days with F4 begin. Her new quartes are ready and Ji Min is shocked at such luxury. Woo Bin tells Jan Di what he really feels. A game of life and death makes Jan Di loose her footing and she ends up in an akward situation.