Author's Note: This might be construed as crack. But I'm going in!
This snippet assumes you've read the 'Legacy of Vandham', because it directly references stuff therein.
xxxx
/Time: Chapter 7, during the hunt for the Origin Shards with Queen Nia/
xxxx
As Ouroboros hunted for the Origin Shards needed to upgrade Samon's vessel, Nia had accompanied them.
However, other friends came and went during that timeframe.
One of them was Isurd. An idle conversation during a prior stop at Colony Lambda — wherein Isurd's stress had been emphasized, and the topic of 'natural spas' came up — came roaring back unexpectedly when Isurd arrived in the City as part of some other matter. (Probably something to do with auto-Lev improvements, given the City's own unique bipedal sentries.) Ouroboros had been present in the aftermath of Shania's short-lived revenge, and their interests had briefly aligned. After all, they were going to be scouring Erythia Sea before returning Nia to Agnus Castle...so why not take care of Isurd's little 'spa hunt' in the meantime?
(No one noticed Nia's subtle twinges when the information from 'Trivia King' Kotan had pointed them towards the Brasa Geothermal Belt.)
Even if it did feel surreal...
xxxx
/Dock No. 3, Great Sword's Base, Cadensia Region/
"This is an unusual event for me," admitted Isurd, as they prepared to board the Boundary. "To be travelling alongside the Queen of our entire nation..."
Nia, putting on a smile so perfect that it couldn't possibly be strained (wink), courteously replied, "You need not worry on my account, Commander Isurd. I am not so feeble so as to be offended by one's faults or personality; after all, no one is perfect. So just be yourself."
"O-Of course, Your Majesty," he managed to say without stuttering. Mostly.
(Off to the side, Eunie whispered to Taion, "Now that we know what she's really like, Nia's whole 'Queen shtick' is...really snuffin' obvious.")
("Indeed," he dryly muttered.)
xxxx
...well, no harm was done.
However, upon entering the Brasa Geothermal Belt, and making it to the cavern that Kotan had spoken of...Nia had gone rather quiet.
So much so, that when the party had been about to veer off to a tunnel leading upward, Nia had elected to go deeper.
Despite Mio's protests, the Queen had been firm: she would be fine. She just needed to...see something. Nothing more and nothing less.
She would be fine.
xxxx
/Malevolent Hollow, Erythia Sea, Cadensia Region/
It was a wretched feeling, being back in this place; the sight of so many monsters evoked a feeling akin to sacrilege.
How much time had she spent here, hiding from Moebius's eyes? How many generations of Vandham's lineage — her lineage, however distant, through Mio's son from a time long past — had she watched over, in this place?
After hundreds of years, it was if they had never been; the unique flora and fungi had grown over all remnants of the people who had made these colorful caverns their ancestral home. Much of it had likely been torn down and destroyed by the Ignas, Tirkins, Merignas, and Gulkins that had set up shop here, for who knows how long. In the back of her mind, she could envision old reports that had been transmitted to her by Poppi: reports of Agnian soldiers declaring this place to be forbidden, as the resources required to subdue it would have been too great. I wonder...if Moebius invited these creatures in, so that all memory of the Vandhams would be stomped out? It'd be just like those blighters.
With her cat-like reflexes (ergh), she managed to sneak by the various nasties...until she arrived in a place that been the main living area for the Vandhams. (She had lived here.)
Now? Two groups of monsters fought each other for sport, watched by an enormous Igna and Tirkin: their leaders, no doubt. To add to the horrible spectacle, a large pit bore the corpses of Agnian and Kevesi soldiers alike, leaking red motes...which meant they were relatively fresh. "You butchers..."
"Kraw, introoder!" yelled one of the nearby Gulkin sentries.
Ah crap, Nia thought, immediately leaning on her back foot. Gotta take control of the situation...
xxxx
Being surrounded by enemies was not a sensation unfamiliar to Nia; she had experienced it quite often, even in her old world.
But there were many ways to respond to such a situation.
In the end...it might not have been surprising, what Nia resorted to.
After all, if there had been one thing Ozychlyrus Brounev Tantal had been good at, it had been disarming numerically superior adversaries with nothing but flamboyant chutzpah and a boisterous personality.
xxxx
"HA HA HA HA!" laughed Nia, momentarily stalling the monsters' charge. "You lot really do think you've got the advantage, eh?"
The sentries tilted their head with confusion.
"But I'm not surprised; nothing but a buncha pipsqueaks hiding in your silly little cave. Why don'tcha take a walk outside, get some sunlight, ya bums!"
The Ignas' leader, Conqueror Deepwan, glanced curiously at his fellow leader. "Who dis?"
"Not seen Kat Lady before," quacked the Tirkins' monarch, King Krawkin.
"Bah!" exclaimed Nia, nearly pratfalling from pretended shock. "I'd call you a pair of one-eyed monsters if you could tell yer arse from your elbows!" Stepping forward — inwardly wailing 'Nia you're being so STUPID' whilst simultaneously telling herself to shut up and roll with it — she confidently proclaimed, "Behold the notorious...Nia! Of! Echell! Driver of the Dreaded Dromarch! Wife of the Aegis's Driver!" With each syllable, she stepped forward with such volume that it actually caused the nearest monsters to step back with bewilderment. "Mostly known as 'Nyah', but ever more rarely addressed as...THE NIANATOR!"
The monsters all blinked.
Rumbling forward with her ad-libbed performance, Nia summoned her Blade. "And this is my sword, the calamitous Catalyst Scimitar!" With a flourish, she twirled her watery Blade, even as apparitions of the two Aegis Swords hovered behind her. "If ya want a piece of me, then I'd be happy to take you bozos on one at a time! Unless..." With a forcefully cheeky grin, she added, "...you're a scared lil' Bunnit."
The monsters blinked again.
Then, as if to crash her impromptu parody, a man's voice echoed out. "Ho ho! I'd have picked a less intimidating animal, lass; I've seen some Bunnits that could tear a Gogol's arm off!"
Nia impulsively looked to her right; standing there, idly chewing from a bag of crisps of some sort, was Triton. "...you? What the hell are YOU doing here?!" she sputtered, all Zeke-inspired bravado fading away.
"You were givin' off such a good show, I just had to watch!" exclaimed Consul T, eating the brown slices with an audible crunch. "Ye ever had choclit-covered spud crisps? Fantastic little snack from the City! My men can't get enough of 'em!"
"...how long have you been here?!" she squawked, feeling suddenly mortified.
Triton nonchalantly admitted, "About as long as the fella behind you has."
Whirling around, Nia's eyes widened at the sight of an unexpected figure. "...Gray?!"
The lone wolf, clad in black with face hidden, simply stared at her with his one visible eye. "Hmm..."
For all that she had heard about the reclusive warrior (mostly from Eunie during their travels, and usually in the form of complaints), the fact that he could apparently move as quietly as a ninja had been completely glossed over. "Y...You...how much did you see...?"
Gray simply crossed his arms. "Was tracking Ouroboros to make sure they didn't get into trouble. Never thought I'd have to tail the Queen of Agnus instead."
"...how much did you see?" she insisted.
Gray's chest rumbled...and without saying a word, he looked away.
Yup. Just gonna crawl into a hole and die, mentally wailed Nia.
"...bored now," growled Deepwan. "KILL'EM!"
"SQUAW!" cried Krawkin. "DESTROY THE HOOMANS!"
The monsters all roared as one, and began their charge.
"Aw, bloody hell," griped Nia, gripping her Blade with irritation. "Guess it's gonna have to be the hard way after all!"
"Ye mean the fun way!" cheered Triton, his fists covered by glowing purple hooks.
Gray simply summoned his handguns and drones, opening fire from afar.
xxxx
What followed in the Demihuman Gutter was a massive and incredibly heroic battle; with Nia, Triton, and Gray acting as an unlikely trio against King Krawkin, Conqueror Deepwan, and their many minions.
xxxx
/Fifteen Minutes Later/
Gasping for air, Nia lowered her sword; behind her, Conqueror Deepwan collapsed, head separated from his body. "And...stay down..."
Triton, sitting atop the pulverized corpse of King Krawkin, was grinning with glee. "Now that was a punch-up for the ages! Never knew the Queen could throw down like that; makes me wonder why Moebius bothered replacin' ye with a damned robot!"
...which reminds me. Looking warily at Triton, Nia wondered just how deep the Moebius's attachment to Ouroboros went. "You can't tell anyone about fighting with me, okay?"
Triton snorted. "Don't know why; it was a fantastic fight! 'Sides, I'm fairly certain I got no orders involving ye...so as far as Moebius is concerned, it's just another day of me battlin' monsters!"
I'm pretty sure you DO have orders involving me, inwardly groused Nia. She didn't know if the aged warrior was covering for her...or if he had genuinely forgotten. Either one was likely. Turning towards the reclusive Gray, she said, "Um...pretty sure you have to report your activities...but can you not mention anything about...what I said at the beginning...?"
Gray's expression was as still as stone; even so, his gravelly voice echoed in the cavern. "I haven't made a habit of mentioning tactically irrelevant information in my reports." And that was that.
"...you know what, I'll take it," admitted Nia with tired gratitude. Well...at least we cleared out the beasts, she thought, looking at the bloodied cave, yet seeing only memories in their stead.
Triton's voice broke through her reverie. "Ah, bilge water; I must've dropped my snack! Guess I gotta get more." Without another word, Triton vanished in a cloud of purple motes.
Nia blinked at his sudden departure. "I can never be sure about that bloke...what's your read on him, Gray?" No response. "Gray?" Looking around, Nia frowned at the realization that the lone wolf had already vacated the premises. Oh come on, SERIOUSLY?! How does such an old fart like that move so quietly?! Nia sat down on the slope leading up to Krawkin and Deepwan's empty thrones, chin resting on her hands. Bah...damn it Shellhead; still causing me trouble even without trying.
(By the Architect, how she missed him and his silliness.)
She didn't have much longer to gripe; moments later, the cries of familiar voices echoed out. "Your Majesty?!"
"Noah?" she replied with a blink.
Sure enough, the six Ouroboros and Isurd charged up, weapons at the ready. However, the sight of the carnage prompted them all to stop with shock. "And we fought through so many mudders on the way here," wondered Lanz with audible disbelief.
"Did...did you defeat all these monsters by yourself?" wondered Taion aloud.
"...yes," shamelessly admitted Nia. "Yes I did," she said, rising to her feet. Placing her hands on her hips, she haughtily remarked, "Nothing that your Queen couldn't handle for herself!" They can NEVER know.
"Wow..." gasped Sena with awe.
"That's our Queen for you," said Isurd with no small amount of pride.
Alas, it wasn't long before Noah and Mio's attentions turned towards the dead soldiers in the pit. The haunting call of the off-seers' flutes bounded throughout the cavern, as bloody red light gave way to a soothing blue.
xxxx
In a way, the duo had done more than send off the slaughtered men and women; they had also purged the cavern of its wretched aura, stained by the monsters' presence and the battles that had occurred there.
Nia would be able to put this bit of her past behind her, at least for now.
(Maybe the Vandhams, wherever they were, were looking down on her with pride? She liked to think so.)
(...come to think of it, Zeke probably would too, that blasted Shellhead.)
xxxx
As they ascended through the colorful caves, Mio walked alongside Nia. "Um, Nia?"
"Yes?"
"...are you okay?"
"...I'm feeling better."
"...do you want to talk about it?"
"...maybe later," she admitted. "Which reminds me, did you lot enjoy the spa?"
"Oh. Yes! It was actually quite lovely."
"...mind if we stop by before heading back to the boat? I've got some aches I'd like to clear out..."
"O-Of course! After all the fighting you did, I'm sure you must be exhausted..."
(Sure. That was the reason why she felt the lingering pain: the aftermath of fighting. Nothing else.)
xxxx
From afar, Gray trailed Ouroboros in silence...and as his eye focused on the two cat-eared figures, he wondered if the Queen had ever spoken to Mio about the family resemblance.
As far he was concerned, it was...uncanny. And the way Nia acted around the kids, Mio in particular? It was rather obvious.
...alas, he wasn't one to butt in on other people's private affairs.
xxxx
Author's Note: Honestly, I could imagine Nia practicing some of Zeke's goofy mannerisms if she believed no one was around to watch...because blast it all, for being such a shellhead, he made it look fun.
Alas, poor Krawkin and Deepwan: you never got to see Ouroboros this time 'round. If only you had been actual superbosses, maybe then it would have been different...