Chapter 21: Hello, Peter
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Deadpool showed up to breakfast wearing a silver tiara that was shaped like a bird and had words written on it. He was also carrying and an ornate goblet that was on fire. He strolled to the Slytherin table and plopped down next to Harry. "What's up?" he said, putting the goblet on the table.
Many of the Slytherins were moving away but staying near enough to listen. It was just another day with the costumed chibi man. They didn't want to get caught in the crossfire, but they didn't want to miss the action either. They were sure the reason Snape wasn't there was because of something these three did.
"Why are you wearing a tiara?" Harry asked, looking at the ridiculous crown on his friend's mask covered head. "How is it even staying on?" he poked it and watched it slide to the side.
"I found it last night after you went to bed. I took it to the goblins because it was reeking of evil," the masked man said, putting a finger up to adjust the tiara to sit more securely. "The goblins said I could keep it, after they cleansed it of course," he added, serving himself up some waffles with strawberries. "They were really glad I brought it in. something about using it as a beacon."
"For what?" Harry asked, picking up his bacon and taking a bite.
"To find the others, of course," Wade said, putting whipped cream all over his waffles.
"And the goblet?" the preteen boy asked, peering closely at said goblet, which was indeed on fire.
"The goblins gave that to me too. I asked what I could do to prevent the Evil Git from coming back and they gave me this," Deadpool said, shoving a huge forkful of waffles in his mouth. Eating was so much easier now that Tilly had fixed his mask. He was still waiting for the magical suit, but he was sure she'd be done with it soon.
"Really? Did they say how?" Harry asked, picking the goblet up and looking inside, like the answer was in there. The fire didn't seem to be hot, and it didn't burn him, however there was nothing in the cup.
"Nope, just that I had to hide this cup," Deadpool said, after he swallowed. He might be harsh mannered, but he wasn't rude.
"Did they say anything else?" Harry asked, finally putting the cup down.
Deadpool picked it up and put it… somewhere. The tiara, he kept on his head. He had no intention on keeping it, but he wanted to see how long it took someone to realize what it was. "Yes," he started to answer the question, "we have to go gravedigging tonight."
"Gravedigging?" the boy said, letting his fork full of eggs drop in his surprise. He expected many things from his friend, but graverobbing? That was different.
"Yup, I even know where. We just have to figure out how to get there," Wade said, eating more of the waffly goodness.
"Take the Knight Bus," Luna said, completely unaffected by the conversation.
"Good idea," Deadpool stated, wiping some whipped cream off his mask with a napkin.
"I'm full of them," she said with an impish grin.
"So, what then? We go gravedigging and the Dork Lord doesn't come back?" Harry asked, still in shock. "Why did you enhance me then?" he wondered, knowing that there must have been a reason.
"For one, I wasn't planning on sticking around. For two, I was bored out of my head. For three, I thought you could use the boost," Wade explained, speaking only the truth.
"So, you were just going to let me muddle through?" Harry asked, getting a bit angry.
"Look, this was only supposed to be a one-shot. The author made it a story, so this is what you get. Be thankful, I've got rid of all your Voldyshorts problems," Deadpool said, poking his full fork in Harry's general direction. "Well, I had help, but there you go."
"Argh," Harry said in frustration.
"It was ever so fun though," Luna said, patting Harry on the arm.
"Yeah, I guess," the boy mumbled, folding his arms in a pout.
"I had a blast. I got to kill things and make some people's lives miserable. A full week of fun for me. Speaking of which, what happened to Snape?" Deadpool asked, finishing off his breakfast.
"He's in a coma. They're not sure if he'll ever come out. Also speaking of which, you need to talk to the headmaster," Luna said, picking the tiara off his head and putting it on hers.
"Yeah, it might be best if I talk to the old man. I don't know how long this is going to last, so I'd like to give him a piece of my mind," Deadpool said, taking a sip from his water glass.
"I want to come with you," Harry said, looking his friend dead in the eyes, well at the eye part of his mask.
"Sure, I'm sure you have things to say to the old man too," Wade said, shrugging. He then looked around and spotted Snuffles sniffing around the Gryffindor table. The dog suddenly came flying back and barked. "What is it, Snuffles? Did Timmy fall down the well?" he asked, having been wanting to use that line forever.
Sirius just looked at him blankly, then tugged his hand to get him up and following. They made their way to the Gryffindor table, where Ron was sitting. With a rat poking out his pocket. The rat saw Snuffles and jumped from the pocket and started running down the table.
Deadpool jumped on the table and gave chase. It was a madhouse for a few moments as breakfast and liquids were spattered everywhere. All the Gryffindors complained that they were destroying their breakfast. They didn't understand why there was a rat on the table. Deadpool didn't apologize or anything, he just wanted the rodent.
Snuffles went to the end of the table to wait for the rat to get into position. When Scabbers was right in front of him, he too jumped on the table and put his huge paw on the rat to pin it down. He growled and bared his teeth, making the rat squeak.
"What are you doing with Scabbers?" Ron wanted to know, though he hung back. Deadpool was scary when he wanted to be.
"Yes," Percy, who didn't hang back, said, "what are you doing with Scabbers?" he tried to pry the dog's foot off the rat.
"Leave it," was all Deadpool said, making the older Weasley back off.
"Woof," Snuffles said, wagging his tail at the prospect of the traitor's capture.
"Good boy, Snuffles," Wade said, picking up the rat by the tail. "Peter, Peter, Peter, did you really think you'd get away from me?" he chastised the faux rat. He gave him a shake for good measure.
Harry joined them by this point and was about to ask what was happening, when they were interrupted.
"Here now, what is going on?" Professor Flitwick said, coming up to the table, with his wand drawn.
"This is no rat," Deadpool said, shaking the rat back and forth, making it squeal. "Snuffles sniffed him out." He pointed to the dog, who was nodding in a very undog like manner. "Don't worry, he's not really a dog either. We can do this here, or away from the kiddies," he finished, still shaking the rat around.
"We'd best go to my office," Dumbledore said as he came up to the scene. His eyes were twinkling like it was all going according to plan.
Though, Deadpool doubted the man ever factored him into any equation. No one ever did before, those that tried, died. Well, not Vanessa, but she was different.
"Great. I wanted to talk to you anyway," Wade said, tucking the rat away… somewhere. Harry wondered if the rat would survive being… somewhere. He hoped so, he was needed to free Sirius.
They departed the Great Hall to the headmaster's office. The walk was quiet and only Flitwick, McGonagall, and Dumbledore accompanied Deadpool, Sirius, and Harry. Luna decided she would be no help, so stayed behind. The rest of the professors and students were once again gossiping on what the masked boy had done this time.
"Now," Dumbledore said as he sat behind his desk, the professors sitting next to it, while the kids, and dog, stood in front, "what is this that that is not a rat?" he asked, steepling his fingers.
"This is Peter Pettigrew," Deadpool said, bringing the rat back out from… somewhere. He was still holding it by its tail, and the rat was doing its very best to get away. He was squirming around trying to bite the hand that held him. To no avail. That costume was too tough to be bitten through.
"Are you sure?" the old man asked, peering closely at the vermin. "Ronald and Percy Weasley say that it is Ronald's rat Scabbers," he added on like that solved the whole mystery.
"Snuffles," was all Deadpool said, looking at the dog next to him. It was a risk, but one that they needed to take.
Sirius became human, but he stayed behind the kids. "It's Peter, all right," he said, pointing to the rat's foot. "He's missing a finger," he said, like that proved everything.
"Isn't there a spell we could do that will prove it. I mean, why all the questions? You're magical, use magic," Harry said, still peeved at Deadpool's revelations that he hadn't planned on staying.
"Very smart," Flitwick said, brandishing his wand and doing just that. The spell turned Scabbers blue, meaning the jig was up. Thinking quickly the diminutive professor stunned the rat.
Deadpool laid the rat on the desk, now that it wasn't fighting to be free. "There you go, the real criminal," he said, with a ta-da gesture, which was lost on everyone but Harry. "Now that that is out of the way, I have a few things to say. I've only been in this school for a few days, and I can tell you that I have fought a three-headed dog, a basilisk, a troll, dementors and giant spiders. That is in less than a week. What do you have to say for yourselves?" he asked, shaking his finger at the adults.
"Wherever did you see a basilisk?" McGonagall asked, already knowing the other things from their talk last night, and Dumbledore's traps.
Flitwick was completely flabbergasted. He had no clue any of that was in or near the school. Well, the Cerberus, but not the other things. He looked to Dumbledore and noted the old man did not seem surprised.
"In the Chamber of Secrets," Deadpool answered, looking around the room and seeing Fawkes sitting on his perch. "Birdie," he cried and went to pet the bird.
Fawkes was unsure what to think of the chibi man. He wasn't evil, but he wasn't good either. So, he withheld judgement and let the boy pet him.
"The Chamber of Secrets is a myth," Flitwick said, getting control over his emotions.
"No, just well hidden," Wade said, still petting the firebird.
"I can vouch for everything he said, I was there," Harry said, staying in front of Sirius in case anyone got wand happy. "We found the Room of Requirements too," he added as an afterthought. He was still being vigilant.
"I can vouch for the dementors and giant spiders," Sirius said, trying to stay standing. It had been a late night, last night. And he was still recovering from Azkaban.
"Let us discuss Peter," Albus said, trying to steer the conversation away from the deadly animals in his school.
"I want a trial. I didn't get one before," Sirius said, finally sitting in a chair that was placed behind him by… someone.
"Of course, you got a trial," McGonagall denied, her lips pursed into thin lines.
"I did not," the dogman said, putting his head in his hands. He was just so tired.
"I will do my best to get you one," Dumbledore promised, his eyes twinkling.
"If that rat escapes you, Dumbledore, I will hunt you down," Deadpool threatened, not sure what the man could do to rectify Sirius' problems. Fawkes squawked at that, but he didn't move otherwise. "If that rat gets away, it's on purpose," Wade defended his words. The bird got a thoughtful look then nodded.
"You have my word," the old man said, conjuring a cage to put said rat in. "He will see justice," he finished, tapping the cage with his wand, and making it unbreakable.
"Good, now about those dangerous animals," Deadpool said, taking a chair next to Sirius.